# You Know You Fish Too Much When...



## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

1.  Your boat is nicer than any other vehicle you own.

2.  Your cheapest rod and reel costs more than your most   expensive suit.

3.  You don't own any suits, but you own 20 hats with a worm hook stuck in the bill.

4.  Your monthly household budget includes:
      a.  Mortgage;
      b.  Power Bill;
      c.  Cable Bill;
      d.  BASS PRO SHOPS.

5.  You have to be careful not to get a hook in your hand when you reach into your glove box because there are at least three lures in there from your last fishing trip.

6.  You've conducted a conference call on your cell phone and reeled in a bass at the same time.

7.  The cars in the parking lot next to your office look like they have "hail damage" from errant practice casts taken during your lunch break.

8.  A fire breaks out on your boat.  You put it out and continue to fish.

9.  You spend more money buying gas for your boat than you do for any other vehicles you own.

10.  You cried when your son asked for his first baitcaster.


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## jason bales (Jul 29, 2009)

thats funny the 2nd one and 5th one are true for me


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

Mannnn .....I have some catchin up to do.

 that was great ja.


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## hatchrooster (Jul 29, 2009)

*fishing*



Jeff C. said:


> Mannnn .....I have some catchin up to do.
> 
> that was great ja.



x2 on that.


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## mikelogg (Jul 29, 2009)

11. You have full coverage on your boat and none on the truck you pull it with.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

12.  You actually get excited when you hear Cletus T has returned from vacation and is posting on GON again.


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## alexmlane (Jul 29, 2009)

mikelogg said:


> 11. You have full coverage on your boat and none on the truck you pull it with.



lol I am with you on this one too! I pull my boat with a 99 suburban I bought at a police auction. The boat is worth about 20x what I paid for the suburban,


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## Georgiaboybasser13 (Jul 29, 2009)

Those are good. Heres another,

13. You use a flippin stick to change the TV channels.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

14.  You consider calling the Department of Family and Children's Services on your wife for a report of child abuse when she punishes your child by telling him he can't go fishing with you.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

WOW...ya'll just confirmed how much of a rookie I am.


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## Georgiaboybasser13 (Jul 29, 2009)

My mom just told me one that I'm guilty of. You might be a bass fisherman if when you wash your clothes you find used trick worms and fishin line.


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## Georgiaboybasser13 (Jul 29, 2009)

You have +300 channels. You only watch two (when your home) the weather channel and the outdoor channel or versus.


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## Jaycobb (Jul 29, 2009)

You didn't participate in the naming of your kids but you did name your boat.


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## bigbass07 (Jul 29, 2009)

man you just told my true feeling for fishing to the whole world. thats a funny one, true , but funny.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

17.You just can't get enough of it.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

18.Other people get jealous that you get to fish so much.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

19.  You ran for a position on the board of education in your county in an attempt to make Fresh Water Fishing part of the required curriculum at your child's school.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Someone should send this list to Letterman.Drumroll please.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

20.  You pull into the church parking lot for the morning service with your boat still behind your truck.  The pastor complains that you smell like fish during the service.  Your wife is mad at you because she is continually having to pick fish scales off of you during the service.

The pastor has to assure you that it actually was a miracle when Jesus fed the multitudes with only a few fish and Jesus was not trying to hide his honey hole or a particular lure he uses.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 20.  You pull into the church parking lot for the morning service with your boat still behind your truck.



Could be due to an after service fundraiser fish fry......


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> 17.You just can't get enough of it.



This one does'nt count...it can be applied to many things


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

21. you constantly wonder where your money went but you remember you fish.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

22.  The phrases Sexy Shad,  honey hole, and medium rod mean something completely different to your co-workers than they do to you.


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

23. You tell your wife/girlfriend that you suffer from OCFD. Obsessive Compulsive Fishing Disorder.

24. You stay up late at night scanning the tackle stores on the internet looking for new baits and colors to get the edge.

25. When you see a body of water you strain your neck to catch a glimpse of a bass jumping or finding that secret spot nobody knows about.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

GABASSMAN said:


> 23. You tell your wife/girlfriend that you suffer from OCFD. Obsessive Compulsive Fishing Disorder.
> 
> 24. You stay up late at night scanning the tackle stores on the internet looking for new baits and colors to get the edge.
> 
> 25. When you see a body of water you strain your neck to catch a glimpse of a bass jumping or finding that secret spot nobody knows about.



OCFD


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## Jaycobb (Jul 29, 2009)

26. You scour Google Earth during business hours in search of odd shaped blue areas and then email them to your fishing buddies with a note, "Ever fished here?"


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> This one does'nt count...it can be applied to many things



AHHHHH,I see you understood Grasshoppa.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> AHHHHH,I see you understood Grasshoppa.


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## southernslayer (Jul 29, 2009)

all of that is soooooooooo! funny


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

27.  You were stopped at the entrance to the Georgia Aquarium with two baitcasters and a 55 gallon cooler.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

28.  You were banned from the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line for trolling off the back of the ship.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 27.  You were stopped at the entrance to the Georgia Aquarium with two baitcasters and a 55 gallon cooler.



They then confiscated it and issued you a canepole a five gallon bucket and some pinkworms.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> They then confiscated it and issued you a canepole a five gallon bucket and some pinkworms.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

You live on a houseboat  with 50 rodholders.


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

29. When you go on vacation you make sure there is a lake or pond within 20 minutes and the only thing on your checklist is tackle and pole.


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

30. When your boat is in the shop you use  your fourwheeler and planer boards to troll for crappie along the bank.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

31.  You try to convince your wife that a "spare boat" is a necessity (in case your's breaks down)


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

32.  Your boat mechanic has you arrested for harassing phone calls only 24 hours after you gave him your boat to repair.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

32. You purposely hook your trampoline to the back of the boat to get your kids to go again... because your wife said only if you take the kids honey.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> 32. You purposely hook your trampoline to the back of the boat to get your kids to go again... because your wife said only if you take the kids honey.



I thought you were gonna say you used it to sight fish.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> 32. You purposely hook your trampoline to the back of the boat to get your kids to go again... because your wife said only if you take the kids honey.



  Ahh!  My recent past coming back to haunt me.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> I thought you were gonna say you used it to sight fish.



 Don't give me any ideas Chris.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> Don't give me any ideas Chris.



MY BAD...........


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## ZachYak (Jul 29, 2009)

keep it up guys im dying!


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

33.You install a crapper in your jonboat.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

34.a kid hooks a whopper and you take the pole from em' and say let me help ya out here.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

35.  Your new home is being designed around the mounted bass you caught back in 1985.


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## T-Boy (Jul 29, 2009)

33. Your wife trips over your fishing rods and you jump up screaming "Did You Break Anything", and you ain't talking about her.

34. You know the date and time of every bass tournament for the next two years but can't remember the wife's birthday or your wedding anniversary.

35. When the Preacher tells the story of Jesus feeding the multitude with two fish and a loaf of bread you wonder how big they were and what Jesus caught em on.


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## jalawson (Jul 29, 2009)

36.  You measure your neighbor's bass mailbox to make sure your's is bigger.


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## Cletus T. (Jul 29, 2009)

37.) You eat Ketchup flavored flukes for breakfast


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

T-Boy said:


> 33. Your wife trips over your fishing rods and you jump up screaming "Did You Break Anything", and you ain't talking about her.
> 
> 34. You know the date and time of every bass tournament for the next two years but can't remember the wife's birthday or your wedding anniversary.
> 
> 35. When the Preacher tells the story of Jesus feeding the multitude with two fish and a loaf of bread you wonder how big they were and what Jesus caught em on.



Ha Ha.


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## jason bales (Jul 29, 2009)

this is getting better and better


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## Brine (Jul 29, 2009)

you add spike-it to your spaghetti sauce.


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## Jaycobb (Jul 29, 2009)

38.  When you start telling the truth!


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

39. When your story grows conversation to conversation.


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## GABASSMAN (Jul 29, 2009)

40. When you tell your boss when you can work based on tournaments and the spawn.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

41.When you read all of this and think its actual tips.


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Your rod has to be surgically removed from your hand......because your wife super glued it there.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 29, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> Your rod has to be surgically removed from your hand......because your wife super glued it there.



I actually think I might believe that one Chris


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## Chris S. (Jul 29, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> I actually think I might believe that one Chris



Hey man,stranger things have happened.


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## BuckBass56 (Jul 30, 2009)

38)You re-string your reels once a week but cant remember to change the oil in your wifes car.
39)You get up at 2:30 in the AM to make it to the lake but get fired for being late to work.
40)You spend $300 at Bass Pro and dont remember that today is your wifes b-day.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> Your rod has to be surgically removed from your hand......because your wife super glued it there.



Your rod has to be surgically removed from your ..... because your wife super glued it there....


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

41.  You name your favorite rods and reels.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

42.  You have a fight with your wife over which mailbox you should get:  bass or catfish.  You lose and refuse to pick up the mail for two weeks.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

43.  You think Marvel Comics "got it wrong" when they invented Superman and Batman; but not Fisherman.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

44.  You don't understand why there is not an NFL team called "the Largemouth Bass"


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

45.  You think Congress should use a "Fish Off"  to break a tied vote on pending legislation.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

46.  You think the British Open should have been decided by which golfer brought in the best five from the water hazards on the course.


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## rockwalker (Jul 30, 2009)

*funny*

i can claim #2, #6, and #9. The boat gets good gas, the cars can run on cheap stuff. I can walk on land but there is only one who walked on water and I aint him!


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

rockwalker said:


> i can claim #2, #6, and #9. The boat gets good gas, the cars can run on cheap stuff. I can walk on land but there is only one who walked on water and I aint him!



Amen to that brother!!


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

47.  You've made your children get out of the bathtub so you can check the action of your new lure.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

48.  O.K.  My secretary wants to try one before we actually start working here.  "You don't understand why Freshwater Fishing is not an Olympic sport".  Not bad, Not bad..... Now get back to work!!!!


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

49.When your secretary promotes your hobby while bucking for a raise


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

50.  You've sent your secretary to do the following:

a.  Drop by the post office;
b.  Pick up copy paper;
c.  Swing by Bass Pro Shops to see if your reels have been restrung with new line yet.
d.  While she's there, try to pick out a Jointed Shad Rap in Firetiger color for you because you're still meeting with clients.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> 49.When your secretary promotes your hobby while bucking for a raise



Quietly, Jeff C.... She's still here.


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 30, 2009)

T-Boy said:


> 33. Your wife trips over your fishing rods and you jump up screaming "Did You Break Anything", and you ain't talking about her.



My personal best, by far,,,,

True story there,,,,,,
However, she didn't appreciate the humor I found in it.


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 30, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 8.  A fire breaks out on your boat.  You put it out and continue to fish.



Is there really something wrong here???
I mean,,,, what's the problem??


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## 20ReevesCC (Jul 30, 2009)

when you're on a date the song i'm gonna miss her comes on in the truck, and your girl friend says "you would leave me for fishin wouldn't you". then you respond YEP without even thinkin about who you were talkin to.

i've done this at least 3 times most recently being last Friday night


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

Lawnmowerman said:


> Is there really something wrong here???
> I mean,,,, what's the problem??



I'm not saying I haven't laid some stinkers here.

How about, you suffer second degree burns in the fire, and continue to fish?.... third degree burns?..... Maybe you're right.  That one wasn't funny.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 50.  You've sent your secretary to do the following:
> 
> a.  Drop by the post office;
> b.  Pick up copy paper;
> ...



And when she returns she didn't get the exact lure(s) you wanted because the others weren't on sale and weren't color coordinated....but she does return with some great bargains and much more for the money.


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## Chris S. (Jul 30, 2009)

Your casting  arm actually does fall off.


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## Money man (Jul 30, 2009)

You read 81 forum posts in a row with one liners about how to know if you might be fishing too much.


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 30, 2009)

You somehow manage to get a treble hook buried in your thumb on the "long cast", cut it loose, and continue to fish. (true story)


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## 20ReevesCC (Jul 30, 2009)

When you first heard of the bb boom and you didnt know what it was you thought it might be the magic lure you've been missin out on for years.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

Money man said:


> You read 81 forum posts in a row with one liners about how to know if you might be fishing too much.


  Too funny!  I was wondering when someone was going to hit that.


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

Lawnmowerman said:


> You somehow manage to get a treble hook buried in your thumb on the "long cast", cut it loose, and continue to fish. (true story)



Something tells me there is a little bit of truth in all of these.


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## Gordon (Jul 30, 2009)

38)  You reading this at work instead of working


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

Chris S. said:


> Your casting  arm actually does fall off.



And the you suddenly realize you WERE ambidextrous afterall.                      see smiley


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## Jaycobb (Jul 30, 2009)

If, when at a funeral out of town, you ask, "How's the fishing around here?"

True Story


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

Jaycobb said:


> If, when at a funeral out of town, you ask, "How's the fishing around here?"
> 
> True Story


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## mr bluegill (Jul 30, 2009)

i really do have a toilet on my 14 foot boat


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

41.  You legally change the names of your two sons to "Crankbait" and "Trickworm".


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## Flathead-Hunta (Jul 30, 2009)

#42. You wake up at 3 a.m to your wife screaming and holding her head in pain, after you nearly knocked her unconscious by setting the hook on a monster cat while dreaming............


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## pop pop jones (Jul 30, 2009)

Cletus T. said:


> 37.) You eat Ketchup flavored flukes for breakfast



You watch someone eat ketchup flavored flukes on line


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

44.  You hang matching oil paintings of Bill Dance and Roland Martin in your living room.


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## Money man (Jul 30, 2009)

pop pop jones said:


> You watch someone eat ketchup flavored flukes on line



LOL Pop Pop...and I am the one that took the pics....Talk about sick!


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## mr bluegill (Jul 30, 2009)

dont yall know flukes taste better with ranch dressing


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

This has got to be one of the best threads I've seen on here.

Thanks jalawson....This was a great idea also.


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## mr bluegill (Jul 30, 2009)

45. your wife said you cant go fishing and you go anyway, when you return she tells you she cooked you some sardines and the first thing you notice is the treble hooks, she cooked all my rapalas


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

And I still have them flukes.....for cryin outloud


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

mr bluegill said:


> 45. your wife said you cant go fishing and you go anyway, when you return she tells you she cooked you some sardines and the first thing you notice is the treble hooks, she cooked all my rapalas



And then you give them a quick inspection.... and return them to your tacklebox.


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## mr bluegill (Jul 30, 2009)

you bet i did


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## jalawson (Jul 30, 2009)

46.  "Relations" with your wife have never been better since you changed the paint scheme in your bedroom to "Firetiger".


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## mr bluegill (Jul 30, 2009)

47. your wife asks you why your taking a rod, reel, and spinner bait to a family swimming trip.....you tell her its to scare the gators away


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

Can you provide a link to that color scheme....I'm good at that FAUX
painting.

Kind of tired of that Chartreuse anyway....


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## Jaycobb (Jul 30, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> Can you provide a link to that color scheme....I'm good at that FAUX
> painting.
> 
> Kind of tired of that Chartreuse anyway....



I painted our bedroom a glitter flake to match my boat.


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## Jaycobb (Jul 30, 2009)

All of these little "You knows..." reminded me of a golf joke but it could easily apply to fishing...

A man and his secretary decide to have an affair, so they rent a hotel and go have strenuous sex all afternoon. He's not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn't wake up until about 8:30 at night. 

They have sex again, and then the man realizes it's time to go home. He says to his secretary, "Take my shoes outside while I get dressed and drag them through the grass and mud." Puzzled, the 
secretary complies. 

When the man gets home about 9:30pm his wife confronts him and asks where he's been. The man says, "I cannot lie to you, I have spent the day making love to my secretary, fell asleep, just woke up and came right home." The woman looks down at his shoes and says, "You lying scoundrel, you've been out playing golf again!"


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

Anyone ever heard this one: A guy went to out of state hunting club...you know the kind with the full lodge and everything necessary.

Anyway when he returned...his wife asked how was the hunting trip?  He told her everything was great, but she forgot to pack his socks.

That's when she replied...Oh yes I did.

No,I'm sorry honey you didn't.

Excuse me, she said.... Your socks are in your gun case.


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## Chris S. (Jul 30, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> And I still have them flukes.....for cryin outloud



eeewwwwww!!!!!


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

I think I'll try one soon...Pink now with the original "Taste and Believe" flavor.


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## Jaycobb (Jul 30, 2009)

Anything is good with hot sauce


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## Jeff C. (Jul 30, 2009)

When you carry a telescopic pole pruner back to the lake a week later
to retrieve your favorite buzz bait out of the top of a tree....it doesn't reach so you commence to climb and don't stop until you get it back.


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## Hunter Blair (Jul 30, 2009)

when you throw a rattle trap into the back of your own head, have dad cut the two hooks that are not embedded in my head, and keep fishing for a few more hours..... 

Dr. removed the last remaining hook about 6 hours later (2 hr. drive home) and i still keep it in my tacklebox to remind me to be more careful with my casting.....


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## Rockett (Jul 31, 2009)

This is absolutely hilarious.  Even worse I always wondered if you could catch fish in those aquariums.  
  My latest adventure - I went to Eufaula on the 23rd this month and at a little bait shop called BigMouth Bait they had an aquarium in the back with about a 1pound bass swimming around in it.  Well I noticed that they also had a 2ft wooden pole with a 2ft line an shakey head tied to it.  Spent 30 minutes trying to get that bass to bite that shakey head while my partner looked for baits to fish the tm the next day.  Never did get him to bite - he might have wised up by the time I got to him!


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## Rockett (Jul 31, 2009)

and you have all the local tackle stores on your my circle and speed dial!


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## racedude45 (Jul 31, 2009)

You are late for your wedding because the fish are biting to good to leave.


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## racedude45 (Jul 31, 2009)

You named you first born "Bass Tracker Hannah".


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## racedude45 (Jul 31, 2009)

When your first born was born you had a tape measure handy to make sure that he was a "keeper".


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## Jaycobb (Jul 31, 2009)

Keeping with the theme of late: Your kid's first words were "fish on!!"

Your 3 year old knows Roland Martin, Shaw Grigsby, Mike I. and Bill Dance but not Barney or Big Bird.


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 31, 2009)

racedude45 said:


> You named you first born "Bass Tracker Hannah".



Seriously, a guy here at work has their children named: (2) boys, Hunter & River, & (1) girl, Sky


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 31, 2009)

*This Thread*

Thanks, Mr. Lawson,,
Largest thread, of replies, since "Chicken Nuggets".
But I think you've broke the record on "time",,


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## crokseti (Jul 31, 2009)

When you get home from vacation and the first thing you do is go and check your boat.


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## sboat (Jul 31, 2009)

51. You embarrass the fool out of your daughter when you drop her off at elementary school while towing your junky looking jon boat because you are on the way to the lake.

(I unknowingly did this)


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## dwh8417 (Jul 31, 2009)

52.) You hardwire your trailer lights to the truck since it never gets disconnected.

53.) Unlike most drivers on the road who can barely talk on the phone and drive at the same time, You have mastered running a foot controlled trolling motor, smoking a cigarette, holding a beer in one hand and your pole in the other..... all while taking a nap. 

54.)  Your 2006 F250 sits out in the weather, while your 1970's jon boat is parked nicely in the garage.


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## 20ReevesCC (Jul 31, 2009)

lawnmowerman said:


> seriously, a guy here at work has their children named: (2) boys, hunter & river, & (1) girl, sky



i used to know a guy that had 3 boys hunter, fisher, and river


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## Dan the Man (Jul 31, 2009)

55. You'll spend over $300.00 on a fly rod without blinking, then whine about the $3.00 park service fee to access the water.


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## Lawnmowerman (Jul 31, 2009)

crokseti said:


> When you get home from vacation and the first thing you do is go and check your boat.



You didn't take it with you,,??,,


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## Gillz (Jul 31, 2009)

This is a GREAT thread!


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

56.  You pierce your belly button just so you can carry your favorite lure around.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 31, 2009)

You lie sleepless and and restless the night before a big fishing trip
thinking "I could catch a World Record" knowing the odds are only about 1:50,000,000,000,0000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

58.  You have enough spare rods in your barn to fence in a ten acre pasture.


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

59.  You go on vacation for a week and Bass Pro Shops sends over a representative to "see if you're O.K."


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## Jaycobb (Jul 31, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 56.  You pierce your belly button just so you can carry your favorite lure around.



NO, you make your WIFE pierce her belly button so you can show off your favorite lure at NASCAR races and tell people about the fish you caught with it.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 31, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 58.  You have enough spare rods in your barn to fence in a ten acre pasture.



I could use a new fence....want to get rid of them?


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

60.  You have enough spare tackle boxes to build a small garage.


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> I could use a new fence....want to get rid of them?



How about a tackle box? or three?


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## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

61.  You have a fish I.D. chart tattooed on your forearm.


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## Jeff C. (Jul 31, 2009)

Jaycobb said:


> NO, you make your WIFE pierce her belly button so you can show off your favorite lure at NASCAR races and tell people about the fish you caught with it.



You read THIS and actually get excited
It is Friday night....OOOOOPS......I better shutup.


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## Jaycobb (Jul 31, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> You read THIS and actually get excited
> It is Friday night....OOOOOPS......I better shutup.



I feel a spanking coming on if she finds this...

but that may be a good thing, lol


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## Jeff C. (Jul 31, 2009)

Jaycobb said:


> I feel a spanking coming on if she finds this...
> 
> but that may be a good thing, lol



I'm gonna run that tied stripper scenario by her.....


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## hc521v (Jul 31, 2009)

dwh8417 said:


> 52.) You hardwire your trailer lights to the truck since it never gets disconnected.
> 
> 53.) Unlike most drivers on the road who can barely talk on the phone and drive at the same time, You have mastered running a foot controlled trolling motor, smoking a cigarette, holding a beer in one hand and your pole in the other..... all while taking a nap.
> 
> *54.) Your 2006 F250 sits out in the weather, while your 1970's jon boat is parked nicely in the garage.*




*Man thats so darn true! My 1994 Ranger is parked in the garage while my 35K F150 stays in the driveway. *


----------



## hc521v (Jul 31, 2009)

62. You mastered the latest in state of the art fishfinder technology but can't seem to fix that darn blinking light on the VCR.


----------



## Jaycobb (Jul 31, 2009)

hc521v said:


> 62. You mastered the latest in state of the art fishfinder technology but can't seem to fix that darn blinking light on the VCR.



Hey man, a fella's gotta set his priorities, lol


----------



## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

63.  You caught more than 15 bass on your honeymoon.


----------



## jard (Jul 31, 2009)

The best line I've ever heard is:

Fishing is a lot like sex, when its good, ITS GOOD.  And when its bad, its still kinda good!!


----------



## jalawson (Jul 31, 2009)

jard said:


> The best line I've ever heard is:
> 
> Fishing is a lot like sex, when its good, ITS GOOD.  And when its bad, its still kinda good!!



64.  You know you fish too much when you compare fishing and sex.


----------



## CRBass (Jul 31, 2009)

65.   You get married on a DOCK at sunset in May....We were the first couple to get merried at charlie elliott....the dock is the huge one behind the blue discovery building.

66.  You wife agress to go spend a week on Eufaula for your honeymoon....yep...did that too.


----------



## riprap (Jul 31, 2009)

67. When you plan your wedding around a club tournament.


----------



## Jaycobb (Jul 31, 2009)

Thought of another true story:

This past weekend, I was unloadng the boat and the game warden was performing inspections of all the pleasure boaters/weekend warriors at the boat launch.  I put my boat in the water, hopped in, started it and was letting the motor warm up while the lady in the boat next to me was being ticketed for not having proper equipment, fire extinguisher, PFD's, etc.  She was pretty mad so she yelled at the warden and pointed at me and said, "How come you're not inspecting him?!?!?"  To which the warden replied, "Oh, that's Jake... he's legal."

So, you know you fish too much when the game warden knows you by name and doesn't bother to inspect your boat.


----------



## Jeff C. (Jul 31, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 64.  You know you fish too much when you compare fishing and sex.



 Yes Sir.


----------



## Chris S. (Jul 31, 2009)

Every Family portrait has the boat in it.


----------



## bassboy08 (Aug 1, 2009)

haha that is funny right there


----------



## paddlin samurai (Aug 1, 2009)

u pass gas and think " iam good" its just alittle gas so u keep on fishing until.....well just say i could have dived into the water and been a new kind of "stink" bait....try explaining that to your better half!!


----------



## butter bass (Aug 1, 2009)

38. When you tell your wife "not tonight honey, I have a tournamet in the morning "!!


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 1, 2009)

butter bass said:


> 38. When you tell your wife "not tonight honey, I have a tournamet in the morning "!!



That one might have just taken the cake.


----------



## T-Boy (Aug 1, 2009)

A man is sitting in his boat fishing with a tear in his eye.

Another boater passes by and notices the tears and asked if he could help.

The man replied no, you see my wife passed away and its the first time in 40 years my wife has missed the opening of trout season and its just really sad. Not to mention at my age I hate to fish alone.

The other boater said, couldn't you just get another relative to come fishing with you.

The man said, I tried but they are all at my wifes funeral.


----------



## Chris S. (Aug 2, 2009)

You take the time to learn how to embed a fishing video on this forum.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 2, 2009)

When the guy at the County Res. has your truck and trailer backed down at the ramp as you return because you are the last one on the lake and he's BEEN ready to go.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 2, 2009)

73.  You saw Hurricane Katrina as a way to fish a good Louisiana Lake without any other boat traffic.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 2, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 73.  You saw Hurricane Katrina as a way to fish a good Louisiana Lake without any other boat traffic.



I'm sure some cleaned up......


----------



## jalawson (Aug 2, 2009)

74.  When they finally did "Free Willy" you studied the shoreline in the movie in an attempt to find the area where he was released.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 2, 2009)

When you launch without your plug....it doesn't even phase you...... You just pickup your cellphone and start calling around until you find the nearest location accessible by water and Get another one.

All the while taking on water.


----------



## BuckBass56 (Aug 2, 2009)

You forget and burn up some cookies in the oven cause u have your spining rod and reel in the kitchen trying to figure out the correct way to tie a drop shot so the hook is pointing up.(just happened earlier, but I got it!)


----------



## jalawson (Aug 2, 2009)

81.  You asked for your money back when you found out that the broadway show "Cats" had nothing to do with noodling or jugging for fish.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 2, 2009)

Did you and Sultan go together?


----------



## jalawson (Aug 2, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> Did you and Sultan go together?



Highly disappointing is all I can say, Jeff.  I think it was false advertising all the way.  It seemed to me that even the crowd that attended are the kind of folks that don't even bait their own hooks.  You know, I don't think any of those people even know what noodlin' is?  You would think they would have a better edumication up north.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 2, 2009)

And to think that they were the ones that Civilized us.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 3, 2009)

82.  You're quite certain that Heaven has a trophy bass pond named just for you.


----------



## 20ReevesCC (Aug 3, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 82.  You're quite certain that Heaven has a trophy bass pond named just for you.



HONESTLY I WOULD RATHER HAVE A LAKE AND A BASS BOAT THAN A MANSION


----------



## jalawson (Aug 3, 2009)

20ReevesCC said:


> HONESTLY I WOULD RATHER HAVE A LAKE AND A BASS BOAT THAN A MANSION



Not a thing in the world wrong with a double wide on 100 acres of land with a 20 acre pond!  Beats the heck out of a $400,000.00 home in a subdivision where your neighbors are so close you can jump from your roof to theirs.


----------



## trickworm (Aug 5, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 41.  You legally change the names of your two sons to "Crankbait" and "Trickworm".


hey now that is my name


----------



## trickworm (Aug 5, 2009)

when you ask the wife whats for dinner ? and she asks when ya goin fishin. happened just last night . guess what I'm doing tonight


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

84.  You've ever gotten into a fistfight over which topwater lure is the best.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

85.  You store your bass boat in your living room.


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 5, 2009)

86. You've ever slept in your boat anchored on the water so you wouldn't have to miss a minute worth of fishing.

There is a dude on this forum who made a bed for his jon boat - you guys remember that?  Yeah, he fishes too much.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

The irony of this whole thread is that you can NEVER really fish too much!


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

87.  Your own father has finally had to have you arrested for "fishing on the land of another" because you just won't leave.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

88.  You put your little boy in "Time Out" for stealing your fishing spot.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

89.  You finally agreed to the divorce even though your wife took everything but the boat and your fishing tackle; and you still think you came out ahead.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

90.  Your wife tricked you into marriage by telling you the pastor was holding an exclusive screening at the church of Bill Dance's new movie, "How to Catch a Ten Pound Bass on Every Cast".


----------



## Team3D (Aug 5, 2009)

> 41. You legally change the names of your two sons to "Crankbait" and "Trickworm".
> __________________



LOL...Thats to funny!!  Randy Howell kids names are "Laker" and "Oakley"   Not "Crank bait" or "Trickworm" but pretty close!!!!

Keep'em rolling!!


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

trickworm said:


> hey now that is my name



Oops!  Sorry, I guess your parents fished too much.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

91.  You've fished in a suit and tie because going home to change would take too long.  (inspired by Cletus T's Business Casual Bassin')


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

92.  You think Old Spice should have a Catfish scented aftershave.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

93.  You found it incredibly exciting when Victoria Secrets introduced its "Largemouth Bass" line of lingerie.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

94.  You were drummed out of PETA because your views on protecting the largemouth bass were considered "too extreme"


----------



## rockwalker (Aug 5, 2009)

*ha ha*

I have read every one of these and that PETA one made me laugh for about the 185th time!


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

95.  You once tried to become a new superhero: BASSMAN.  It all came to an abrupt halt when your wife stopped you from turning the family SUV into "the Bassmobile".


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

96.  You think that the combatants in the Olympics should've fenced with seven foot Ugly Sticks instead of swords.


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 5, 2009)

97. You don't notice the half-naked woman sunbathing in a bikini on her dock 25 feet away from your boat until after she says hello.


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 5, 2009)

98. When you continue to make wide turns as if your boat is still connected to your truck.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

Jaycobb said:


> 97. You don't notice the half-naked woman sunbathing in a bikini on her dock 25 feet away from your boat until after she says hello.



And you tell her, "Keep it down.  You'll scare the fish."


----------



## jalawson (Aug 5, 2009)

99.  You've considered keeping a school of catfish in the family swimming pool.


----------



## Money man (Aug 5, 2009)

You read 193 posts about one liners outlining how to know you fish to much on an internet forum and chances are you will read the next one that follows.

My new avatar scares me.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 5, 2009)

Money man said:


> You read 193 posts about one liners outlining how to know you fish to much on an internet forum and chances are you will read the next one that follows.
> 
> My new avatar scares me.



I ain't fishin with you no more until you change that avatar....
UH OH.....maybe that's the plan.....but it scares me too.


----------



## UXO (Aug 5, 2009)

Money man said:


> My new avatar scares me.



It should read "Why so socialist?" instead! 

But yeah, this thread rocks.


----------



## Chris S. (Aug 5, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 92.  You think Old Spice should have a Catfish scented aftershave.



Old spice stinks bad enough......


----------



## Lawnmowerman (Aug 6, 2009)

Jaycobb said:


> 98. When you continue to make wide turns as if your boat is still connected to your truck.



 Done that ,,,,


----------



## jalawson (Aug 6, 2009)

100.  Your doctor improperly treated you for Tourette's Syndrome after you were caught practicing your patented "Air Hook Set" on an imaginary bass at work.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 6, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 100.  Your doctor improperly treated you for Tourette's Syndrome after you were caught practicing your patented "Air Hook Set" on an imaginary bass at work.



Well....it doesn't help much when you actually take it to far....and pretend to miss a HAWG while practicing the "AIR Hook Set" and let out a couple of expletives to make it seem more realistic.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 6, 2009)

Jeff C. said:


> Well....it doesn't help much when you actually take it to far....and pretend to miss a HAWG while practicing the "AIR Hook Set" and let out a couple of expletives to make it seem more realistic.



  Your co-workers are huddled together saying, "There is something wrong with that boy....!"


----------



## jalawson (Aug 6, 2009)

Have we milked this thread enough?  Can I stop now?  Or should it continue?....


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 6, 2009)

jalawson said:


> Have we milked this thread enough?  Can I stop now?  Or should it continue?....



"Party on Wayne."


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 6, 2009)

jalawson said:


> Have we milked this thread enough?  Can I stop now?  Or should it continue?....



Just my opinion....this one should stay and resurface whenever someone feels like contributing.

Now ....with that being said Mr.jalawson.....please don't let that detract you from posting another amusing or interesting thread


----------



## turkeyhunter835 (Aug 6, 2009)




----------



## merican (Aug 7, 2009)

People ask if that is your wife standing beside your boat because you had to cut most of her out to get the motor in the picture.


----------



## Jaycobb (Aug 7, 2009)

You've ever lost everything but your truck, boat and fishing rods in a divorce.


----------



## Rockett (Aug 7, 2009)

Well actually I have had a few Bream and bass in the swimming pool but never could get them to bite again.  I was also excited when victory secret came out with the largemouth line, and I think that this is one of the best threads yet.  Except, of course for the BB Boom threads.


----------



## Rockett (Aug 7, 2009)

Oops Victoria Secret --- See what happens when I start thinking about fishing.


----------



## Rockett (Aug 7, 2009)

Oh and I've been through 2 divorces and each one I've upgraded tackle and boats to help me feel better!


----------



## kbswear (Aug 7, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 89.  You finally agreed to the divorce even though your wife took everything but the boat and your fishing tackle; and you still think you came out ahead.




Thats very similiar to my divorce. We did an uncontested divorce and she ask how do i want to split the property. I said easy...."i keep everything on the outside and you keep everything on the inside". That's how it went down. I kept my race cars ...boats...tools...truck...heck everything that was outside including the water hose and grill..


----------



## paddlin samurai (Aug 7, 2009)

you dream u r setting the hook on the big daddy of all fish and u slap your wife upside the head in the middle of the night and then tell her to quit screaming cuz she will scare all the fish away....that put me on "no fishing" restriction for 2 weeks.


----------



## jalawson (Aug 7, 2009)

paddlin samurai said:


> you dream u r setting the hook on the big daddy of all fish and u slap your wife upside the head in the middle of the night and then tell her to quit screaming cuz she will scare all the fish away....that put me on "no fishing" restriction for 2 weeks.



Is that how you came up with the name "Paddlin Samurai"?


----------



## bobroberts (Aug 8, 2009)

When you  have taken your boat straight from the lake to the cemetery.


----------



## Jeff C. (Aug 10, 2009)

jalawson said:


> Is that how you came up with the name "Paddlin Samurai"?



If so, it should be "Paddlin(up the creek)Samurai"


----------



## fishinbub (Sep 12, 2009)

I know this is an old thread but we really need to bring it back to life!

100. You intentionally run over a deer so you can get the tail for tying clousers.


----------



## BuckBass56 (Sep 12, 2009)

101. You repeatedly get in trouble at work cause your boss catches you on the computer looking at GON Outdoor News Freshwater Fishing threads. 
102. You tell your boss that you need to be put on light duty cause your knee is hurt so you can sit at a computer all day and look at GON Outdoor News Freshwater Fishing Threads.


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

103.  Getting fish sticks out of the freezer means you didn't get skunked today.


----------



## Jeff C. (Sep 13, 2009)

104. You pull an 18 hr. day of work, get in the bed at 4:00am, and when you awake after only 4 hrs. of sleep, still beat up from the day before and having your first cup of coffee, the first thing that comes to mind is.....I should go fishing today!


----------



## BassFrye82 (Sep 13, 2009)

105. You get kicked out of Clayton State College....not for academic issues, but for fishing in No Fishing places on campus


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

106.  You were fired from your job as a Pediatric Orthodontist after your patients complained you constantly had the smell of fish on your hands.  (Thanks teethdoc!)


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

107.  You accuse your buddies who stop fishing with you during hunting season of "committing adultery".


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

108.  The pastor at your church became angry with you when you were not 100 percent convinced there was no 11th commandment that said, "Thou Shalt Fish".


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

109.  You give your lures a "pep talk" right before each fishing trip.  (Allright!  I want you guys workin' it out there today!  Now, let's go out there and catch some fish!)


----------



## jalawson (Sep 13, 2009)

110.  As a pediatric orthodontist, you've ever fished in your scrubs right before making your rounds at the local hospital.  (Thanks again teethdoc!)


----------



## jalawson (Sep 14, 2009)

111.  You think that one of the qualifications for running for president should be that the candidate catch a 10 lb bass.


----------



## Jeff C. (Sep 14, 2009)

112.You are constantly checking the state of recharge on your trolling motor batteries, even when you know you aren't going.


----------



## jalawson (Sep 14, 2009)

113.  The only reason you root for the Florida Marlins is because they are named after a fish.


----------



## jalawson (Sep 14, 2009)

114.  As president, you would consider invading other countries based on the quality of the fishing there.


----------



## rockwalker (Sep 15, 2009)

This one may have been done!

You can make to a boat ramp 2 hours away by sun up but can't seem to make it to work by 7:00 am.


Plant manager asks for ideas on fund raisers and you get a petition going for fishing rights to the company lake at the entrance.


----------



## sinclair1 (Sep 15, 2009)

When you look at the lobster dinner your wife just ordered at chops,You see a Revo sitting on the plate


----------



## Hawk68Dawg (Sep 16, 2009)

when your 2 year old daughter picks up your favorite 3 hook jerkbait while retying and you scream becareful














dont drop it


----------



## kbswear (Sep 16, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 111.  You think that one of the qualifications for running for president should be that the candidate catch a 10 lb bass.





jalawson said:


> 113.  The only reason you root for the Florida Marlins is because they are named after a fish.





jalawson said:


> 114.  As president, you would consider invading other countries based on the quality of the fishing there.





sinclair1 said:


> When you look at the lobster dinner your wife just ordered at chops,You see a Revo sitting on the plate





Hawk68Dawg said:


> when your 2 year old daughter picks up your favorite 3 hook jerkbait while retying and you scream becareful
> 
> 
> 
> ...




All of these are funny!!


----------



## g dad (Sep 16, 2009)

*fish to much*

you know you fish to much when you find yourself trying to buy an electric start weed eater to make it easier for your wife to cut the grass while you are fishing.

does anyone make one?


----------



## jalawson (Sep 16, 2009)

119.  You lobby your elected officials to introduce a law implementing the death penalty for people caught stealing fishing tackle.  (Hangin's too good for 'em!)


----------



## jalawson (Sep 16, 2009)

120.  You have ever argued that it is age discrimination to prevent you from competing in a kids fishing derby.


----------



## Jeff C. (Sep 16, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 120.  You have ever argued that it is age discrimination to prevent you from competing in a kids fishing derby.



Now I know why you chose your profession.


----------



## tllewis (Sep 17, 2009)

When your wife calls your cell  , the song she listens to until you answer is   ( i'm gonna miss her )


----------



## fredw (Sep 17, 2009)

And, unfortunately a true one......when the doctor puts you on the disabled list for tendonitis in the elbow caused by too much fly fishing.  I had a rather severe case of tendonitis after my Wyoming fishing trip.....and doctor told me no more fishing until it's healed.  Of course, what she doesn't know won't hurt her....


----------



## jalawson (Sep 17, 2009)

fredw said:


> And, unfortunately a true one......when the doctor puts you on the disabled list for tendonitis in the elbow caused by too much fly fishing.  I had a rather severe case of tendonitis after my Wyoming fishing trip.....and doctor told me no more fishing until it's healed.  Of course, what she doesn't know won't hurt her....



You've applied for social security benefits because of a "fishing related injury".


----------



## fredw (Sep 17, 2009)

jalawson said:


> You've applied for social security benefits because of a "fishing related injury".


Dang....I never thought of that


----------



## tllewis (Sep 17, 2009)

your wife refers to your partner as your bit*& .
yep


----------



## jalawson (Sep 18, 2009)

tllewis said:


> your wife refers to your partner as your bit*& .
> yep



"the other woman"classic


----------



## Jeff C. (Sep 18, 2009)

jalawson said:


> "the other woman"classic



When you post in this thread @ 3:49 am


----------



## BuckBass56 (Sep 18, 2009)

rockwalker said:


> This one may have been done!
> 
> You can make to a boat ramp 2 hours away by sun up but can't seem to make it to work by 7:00 am.
> 
> ...



Yeah rockwalker I posted one kinda like that. Its the truth aint it. I'm sure we can all relate to waking up BEFORE the alarm clock goes off at 2am bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to hit the water and then hitting the snooze 3 or 12 times at 5am to draaggg out of bed to go to work.


----------



## Flathead-Hunta (Sep 18, 2009)

You get in your boat while its trailered in the driveway and get out a rod, then put the hook on the fenderwell of the trailer and pretend to be setting the hook on a big cat while your daughter takes a pic with your cell phone so you can send it to your buds...while saying "try not to get the house in the background!" (Just did this the other day!!)


----------



## teethdoc (Sep 20, 2009)

jalawson said:


> 106.  You were fired from your job as a Pediatric Orthodontist after your patients complained you constantly had the smell of fish on your hands.  (Thanks teethdoc!)



I own the place and I practice out in the country.  Coming in after fishing or hunting just gives me more credibility


----------



## jalawson (Sep 21, 2009)

teethdoc said:


> I own the place and I practice out in the country.  Coming in after fishing or hunting just gives me more credibility



So the folks around you might think your some kind of weirdo if your hands DIDN'T smell like fish!!!!  Classic.


----------



## Jaycobb (Sep 21, 2009)

g dad said:


> you know you fish to much when you find yourself trying to buy an electric start weed eater to make it easier for your wife to cut the grass while you are fishing.
> 
> does anyone make one?



I got mine an all electric weed eater and edger by B&D.  My house looks so nice when I come home after a long day of fishing.


----------



## kbswear (Sep 21, 2009)

When you have an horrible accident that breaks and bust every bone, tendon, muscle and all the nerves right above your ankle and your in a cast from may till feb of the next year.........and you still manage to fish Tobo 4-6 times a week while on workers comp while in this cast. 

Now thats HARDCORE!!!! And that's what i am when it comes to bass fishing and the story above is my story.

I remember once and only ONCE i let my 12 y/o step daughter attempt to drive the truck up the ramp after i had loaded the boat. I had backed it down and told her to just put in "D" and drive up till i say stop.

Well she tried the "D" deal but of course when she let off the brake it started rolling backwards because she didnt give it any gas. Well then she thought if she put it in "R" she would go forward. She put it in reverse and jammed the accelerator and we flew backwards. I was yelling for her to stop and luckily there was a nice gentleman close by who ran over and told her to hit the brakes.

After that i started giving her driving lessons...lol


----------



## Eugene Stinson (Sep 21, 2009)

When you ask your wife if she can cut the grocery budget by $100 so you can fish this weekend. Like I just did!


----------



## jalawson (Sep 29, 2009)

You think McDonald's should introduce a McBass sandwich with Fluke Fries as their new combo meal.


----------



## Jeff C. (Sep 29, 2009)

jalawson said:


> You think McDonald's should introduce a McBass sandwich with Fluke Fries as their new combo meal.



You need to write a book!!!


----------



## jalawson (Jun 20, 2010)

you have to constantly clean fishing lures and snuff cans out of the family's dryer.


----------



## buzzbaithead57 (Jun 20, 2010)

When you use your Spike It garlic pen as a highlighter in school


----------



## aznflycaster (Jun 20, 2010)

When you have already used up all your vacation time on fishing, one day here and there.And take the on call pager with you in a kayak to the local lake, with work cloths in the truck.


----------



## Lanier Jim (Jun 20, 2010)

38.  Your wife gets naked, paints herself white with stripes, and asks if you will lip her.


----------



## Gone Fishing (Jul 1, 2010)

You hike a half a mile to fish on your lunch break..... in heels and a dress......true story....under the I-75 bridge on the hooch

You yank the Gamecube into the floor setting the hook on the monster bass in the game


----------



## chewy32 (Jul 2, 2010)

You dont talk to any one for a month because you upset you missed a big one.

You have a fishing license in 3 diff states.


----------



## badkarma (Jul 2, 2010)

38.) Your aspirations of becoming a hand model for Bulova watches are smashed due to the ever present 'Bass Thumb' marks.


----------



## paddlin samurai (Jul 3, 2010)

u go to the emergency room with two treble hooks imbedded deep in your fingers and beg the doctor to save the lure not your finger... (true story)  - then later that night took the same lure minus one treble hook out fishing.


----------



## jalawson (Jul 18, 2011)

When the waiter at a fancy restaurant brings the fish dinner, you ask him whether he caught it using topwater or drop shot?


----------



## jalawson (Jul 18, 2011)

You know where the phrase, "Shoot it Lizbeth!  Shoot it!..." comes from.


----------



## jalawson (Jul 18, 2011)

You missed your kids graduation because it was the same day as the River Monsters marathon on Animal Planet.


----------



## Capt. Clay C (Jul 18, 2011)

You use one of your rods and reels to fly your sons kite. I have video of it somewhere.


----------



## shoot2grill (Jul 18, 2011)

If you have a tattoo of a crappie on your right arm! (Guilty)


----------



## LureheadEd (Jul 18, 2011)

When your wife and kids know how to get you a dozen catalpas while you're on your way home from work...


----------



## shoot2grill (Jul 18, 2011)

When every stray cat for miles around hang out at your house for all they can eat fish gut and left over shad buffet.


----------



## Lanier Jim (Jul 18, 2011)

Capt. Clay...we've flown kites with rod and reel too!   Works great...

LJ


----------



## Rattlesnake Creek (Jul 18, 2011)

...you're in the dog house because you wondered aloud to your soon-to-be wife what rod you should take on your honeymoon.

This just happened.


----------



## GitterDone jr (Jul 19, 2011)

jalawson said:


> 19.  You ran for a position on the board of education in your county in an attempt to make Fresh Water Fishing part of the required curriculum at your child's school.





I wish!


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## o2bfishin (Jul 19, 2011)

You put a tennis ball in a sock, tie it to the line of your new rod & reel, and toss it to your black lab to see how smooth the drag is.


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## rockerZ71 (Jul 19, 2011)

you have to get off the water at 11am to get treble hooks surgically removed from your dog, and head straight from the vet right back to the lake


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## fishingga (Jul 19, 2011)

> ...you're in the dog house because you wondered aloud to your soon-to-be wife what rod you should take on your honeymoon.



You actuall take your favorite rod and reel on your honeymoon and your first sight of your wife in the morning is her waving at you from the pool while you are out on the pier fishing.  

She wasn't smiling!


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## Eugene Stinson (Jul 19, 2011)

When you go to th ER to get another hook out of your hand and the doctor knows you by name.


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## jalawson (Oct 24, 2011)

Instead of Halloween candy, you offer trick or treaters assorted colors of Zoom trick worms (pumpkinseed of course) and 5/0 hooks.


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## DJKASH (Oct 24, 2011)

jalawson said:


> 27.  You were stopped at the entrance to the Georgia Aquarium with two baitcasters and a 55 gallon cooler.



ROFLMAO!!!!!


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## Wander (Oct 24, 2011)

You make your decision on what land to buy with which one has the best pond....  or best possibility of a pond...

You choose where to buy a house by which location gives you the best fishing possibilities.


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## jalawson (Oct 25, 2011)

Before taking your truck to a mechanic, you spend an hour and a half unloading fishing gear.


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## jalawson (Oct 25, 2011)

After picking up your mother in law from the airport, rescue services is called to free her from the tangled fishing line and hooks in your back seat.


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## Jeff C. (Oct 25, 2011)

jalawson said:


> Before taking your truck to a mechanic, you spend an hour and a half unloading fishing gear.





When the fish at your local fishin hole know you by name...


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## ngoodson (Oct 25, 2011)

Your wife closely monitors your internet activity to ensure that you're looking at porn instead of surfing tackle sites, fishing sites, and GON.


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## jalawson (Oct 25, 2011)

You try to convince your boss that you can't work for the next three days because your deeply involved in a political movement called "Occupy Lake Varner".


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## ngoodson (Oct 25, 2011)

You contacted Mastercard and requested that reoccuring payments to Bass Pro Shops and Tracker Marine be labeled Tibetan Freedom Fund and Greenpeace on your monthly statement.


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## Jose CanSenko (Oct 25, 2011)

T-Boy said:


> 33. Your wife trips over your fishing rods and you jump up screaming "Did You Break Anything", and you ain't talking about her.


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## Lawnmowerman (Oct 25, 2011)

Wander said:


> You make your decision on what land to buy with which one has the best pond....  or best possibility of a pond...
> 
> You choose where to buy a house by which location gives you the best fishing possibilities.



This, I actually did. 
Same as making sure the floor plans of the house have a room for the pool table.


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## Lukikus2 (Oct 25, 2011)

When your wife say's "We need new carpet" and you re-carpet the boat.

(Guilty)


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## Lukikus2 (Oct 25, 2011)

When your wife catches you sitting in the boat in the garage practicing flipping.


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## Lukikus2 (Oct 25, 2011)

When you divorce your ex because she threatened to throw your rods off the balcony if you didn't quit night fishing.


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## Troutman3000 (Oct 25, 2011)

When your wife loses her parking spot in the garage for your boat.


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## Troutman3000 (Oct 25, 2011)

Lukikus2 said:


> When your wife catches you sitting in the boat in the garage practicing flipping.


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## Lukikus2 (Oct 25, 2011)

When you have to use a lawn bag to hold all the empty vienna cans, cracker & honey bun wrappers, chicken buckets and soda cans out of your boat.


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## Jeff C. (Oct 25, 2011)

Troutman3000 said:


> When your wife loses her parking spot in the garage for your boat.




shhhhhhh....


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## Lukikus2 (Oct 25, 2011)

When you have more lead weights and hooks on your chest-of-drawers, in your glove box and in your pocket than in your boat.


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## Chief31794 (Oct 25, 2011)

38.  You announce your engagement at the monthly Bass Club meeting.


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## brett30030 (Oct 25, 2011)

You didn't realize your wife left you until you noticed the dog was missing!


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## Chuckleberry FIN (Oct 25, 2011)

*You know you fish too much when....*

Your cubicle at work is decorated with pictures of your largest bass ...  but you don't carry a single photo of your wife or kids.   

"and" 

You named your 3 dogs Triton, Stratus  and Ranger !


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## Silver Bullet (Oct 29, 2011)

You find out your girlfriend is seeing another guy and you celebrate cause now there is room on the boat for more tackle...


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## jalawson (Feb 29, 2012)

The inside of your pickup smells like Shan's Bait & Tackle on South Highway 41. (not that they're is anything wrong with that)


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## LureheadEd (Feb 29, 2012)

When you get thrown out of the Venetian in Vegas for fishing in the canal with a Popiel's Pocket Fisherman...My oldest was getting married the next day...

I'm so glad this one's back up....


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## bigfish (Feb 29, 2012)

during foreplay, you ask for a hummingbird


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## bpryor (Feb 29, 2012)

your girlfriend wont hold your right hand because your thumb "feels gross".

and i am guilty of sooooo many of these.makes me proud.


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## jrschultz2 (Mar 1, 2012)

38.) When your wife says let's go out and you grab your rod and reel.

39.) You buy your wife a fishing pole for her birthday so she can fish with you and shut up.

40.) When your wife goes to the grocery and asks if you need anything and you say chicken liver.


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## DUCKAHOLIC86 (Mar 1, 2012)

This is just hilarious...


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## moose266 (Mar 1, 2012)

-When you go to wal-mart at 4am just to look at fishin lures for hours.
-When your thumb is constantly torn up from teeth marks.


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## moose266 (Mar 1, 2012)

-When park your truck on the street instead of your driveway so you can sneak out of the house at midnight on a school night to go fishing. (back when I was in high school)


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## nickf11 (Mar 1, 2012)

bigfish said:


> during foreplay, you ask for a hummingbird


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## krazywayne (Mar 1, 2012)

jalawson said:


> 22.  The phrases Sexy Shad,  honey hole, and medium rod mean something completely different to your co-workers than they do to you.



LMBO! That is hilarious! but true for me! I was talking about my spro slow sink sexy shad swimbait the other day and my co workers had no idea and looked at me like I was "SPECIAL"....lol


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## jalawson (Mar 1, 2012)

You replace the poster in your garage of that Sports Illustrated pinup girl with a poster of Skeet Reece.


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## LureheadEd (Mar 1, 2012)

When you give your youngest son's new girlfriend her own Ugly Stick for Xmas so she won't be using one of yours...  

And then her own tackle bag for Valentines Day !!!

They both think I'm "The Bomb ! " , I'm just not wanting to share anymore !!!!


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## jalawson (Mar 1, 2012)

You actively lobby for Skipper Bivins of Hillbilly Handfishin' to receive an Emmy Award.


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## jalawson (Mar 1, 2012)

You view global warming as an opportunity for more fishing areas to open up.


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## jalawson (Mar 1, 2012)

You haven't talked to your brother since the infamous "live bait vs. artificial bait fight" you had during Thanksgiving dinner of 2003.


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## jalawson (Mar 2, 2012)

You haven't renewed the registration on your wife's car in five years, but you send in the registration to DNR on your boat two months in advance.


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## jalawson (Mar 2, 2012)

You consider a Rattle Trap and a package of 5/0 hooks suitable gifts for your wife's Valentine's Day gift.


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## LipRipper45 (Mar 2, 2012)

-When the song "I'm gunna miss her" by Brad Paisley plays on constant repeat every time you get in the truck to go fishing.
-When you become a Biology major just to learn more about fish.
-When you act like you thought Valentines day was on the day of the week where it rained instead of the other 6 days you were fishing under clear skies.


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## TIGHTLINES44 (Mar 2, 2012)

When you take your only two silver coins to the pawn shop for gas and bait money to go fishing.


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## nickf11 (Apr 10, 2012)

The other day my mom was telling me that a co-worker at the office was talking to her about how she is leaving her husband because he fishes too much. Says he's a tournament bass fishermen, is gone every single weekend, most evenings after work, and never spends any time with her and the kids.

so... You know you fish too much when your wife leaves you because of it. 

Sorry, this post wasn't as funny as most on here but it got me thinking of this thread when we were talking about this.


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## Larry Young Jr (Apr 10, 2012)

you know you fish to much, when your ring tone on your cell phone, when you wife calls you is I'm goin to miss her when I get home.


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## Chief31794 (Apr 10, 2012)

You hold your wedding reception at the boat repair shop and the you didn't know anyone not fishing for the wedding so you asked your Evinrude Mechanic to be your best man.

Ken


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## eagleeyecherry (Apr 11, 2012)

jalawson said:


> You view global warming as an opportunity for more fishing areas to open up.



jalawson for President


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## eagleeyecherry (Apr 11, 2012)

ask people you just met if they fish, to know how the friendship will end up


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## jdb331 (Apr 11, 2012)

When you reach in your bookbag at school to get a pencil and you hook yourself!!


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## DaveGPhd (Apr 11, 2012)

100.  You can give a perfect sick call to your boss (complete with cough and near death voice) while backing your boat down the ramp.


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## DaveGPhd (Apr 11, 2012)

You almost called off your wedding because your wife didn't want the groom on the wedding cake to be holding a rod and tackle box.  

We settled on the groom's cake being of a man in a boat fishing


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## Lawnmowerman (Apr 12, 2012)

you visit the fish hatchery in Warm Springs, on your Honeymoon

actually did this, in March, it was cold, we were the only one's there


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## Gone Fishing (Apr 15, 2012)

You use your lunch break to go fishing on the hooch at I-75 at rottenwood creek.......in a dress and heels....guess you guys know I'm a girl right......I just wanted to state that for the record....god only know what you all would've done with that if you thought I was a guy......and yes the fishing story is a true story...


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## Lawnmowerman (Apr 16, 2012)

Gone Fishing said:


> You use your lunch break to go fishing on the hooch at I-75 at rottenwood creek.......in a dress and heels....guess you guys know I'm a girl right......I just wanted to state that for the record....god only know what you all would've done with that if you thought I was a guy......and yes the fishing story is a true story...



This post needs pics,,,,


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## sinclair1 (Apr 16, 2012)

nickf11 said:


> The other day my mom was telling me that a co-worker at the office was talking to her about how she is leaving her husband because he fishes too much. Says he's a tournament bass fishermen, is gone every single weekend, most evenings after work, and never spends any time with her and the kids.
> 
> so... You know you fish too much when your wife leaves you because of it.
> 
> Sorry, this post wasn't as funny as most on here but it got me thinking of this thread when we were talking about this.


I dated a few gals with husbands like that Hey wait...I am married now and go fishing quite a bit


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## EClass (Apr 17, 2012)

When you compliment your wife (girlfriend) and call her a "Sexy Shad"

...Thats when the fight started...


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## cjlake88 (Aug 3, 2012)

38.) When your out of food and eat the pork jig trailers from your tackle box


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## LureheadEd (Aug 3, 2012)

Geez, I love this thread....

When you realize IF you can fish a bit more often, your wife might leave you !!!


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## jalawson (Feb 26, 2014)

You modify your wife's Volkswagen Beetle so it now looks like a Rapala crankbait.


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## hookinmouth (Feb 26, 2014)

Great thread to revive.  Maybe this one was already mentioned:

When your wife overhears your conversation about fishing with someone else and interrupts saying "Are you talking about fishing again?  Give it a rest!"


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## jerseycat9 (Feb 26, 2014)

When all of your clothes smell like fish no matter how many times they've been washed!

When so many of your clothes are stained with various fishy fluids and slime that you need to hit the store for a pair of pants and a shirt just for going to the Dr's office lol


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## spud (Feb 26, 2014)

38. My boat is in the garage and my truck is in the driveway.
39. My favorite song is I'm gona miss her.


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## fishingguy61 (Feb 26, 2014)

When you dial in your new H-bird ONIX on your wife's tramp stamp doin' K9? (Disclaimer: this is for trailer park occupants only)


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## drill instructor (Feb 26, 2014)

Name your first born after a crappie jig "Kalin" my oldest daughter and I didnt even name her my wife did.


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## drill instructor (Feb 26, 2014)

You have at least two friends that have gotten a divorce because they fished to much.


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## jalawson (Feb 27, 2014)

You have a 32" black and white tv in your living room and a 36" flat screen fish finder with color view and side scan on your boat.


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## FishingFanatic (Dec 31, 2014)

or, this is what u see when u open google earth


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