# Old Timey Sayings



## olcop

To go along with the thread on old timers names for animals, how about a thread with ole timey sayings:
1. Uglier than home made sin
2.Broker than a haint

Chip in with yours
olcop


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## jigman29

That person is so ugly they fell outa the ugly tree and hit every limb on the way down.

Colder than a well diggers butt.

dumber than a box of rocks.

looks like the north end of a south bound mule.


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## donald-f

So ugly she will draw a blister on a wall
so fat, would have to make 2 trips to keep from being over weight ( a truck driving joke)


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## Whiteeagle

So cross-eyed that tears run down her back when she cries. So ugly sleep has to slip up on him. So cross-eyed they had to blind fold him to keep him from eating off somebody else plate. Grinnin like a mule chompin briers. Skin soft as a bab's bottom.


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## fishfryer

hope him out= help him out,  dreen=drain,catywampus=out of alignment,out of square,scase=scarce,peculiar=strange,odd


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## BriarPatch99

So ugly that their Moma toted them upside down for six months... thought they were one eyed!

Slicker than owl "stuff"!

Fast as greased Lightening!


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## sniper13

You better put you're glasses up. It looks like rain.


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## jason4445

When they were visiting someone else home, when it got time to leave my grandfather said, "Its time to put the chairs in the wagon."
Back in the buggy and wagon days chairs were expensive and many home only had enough chairs for them, so when you visited you brought your own chairs, and when it was time to leave you put your chairs back on the wagon.


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## one hogman

*Old sayings/ Ugly*

" Uglier than home made Lye Soap"

" you so ugly yo Mama tied a pork chop round your neck just to get the dogs to play with you"

" You was such an ugly baby,  yo Mama would go next door and borrow a baby to take to Church"

" You was so ugly when you were born the Doctor took one look at you and slapped your Mama"


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## redneck_billcollector

hotter than to 2 dollar pistol - as in "she is hotter than a 2 dollar pistol."

tougher than a nickel steak -as in "that boy is tougher than a nickel steak."

whoop you like a rented mule - as in "boy, i'm gonna whoop you like a rented mule"

beat him like a run away slave-as in"John beat him like a run away slave"

My grandma use to say "son of a buick" or "God bless a milk cow" cause it wasn't proper for a lady to us profane words.

"that dog won't hunt" when something wasn't right.

In high cotton. When times were good, I reckon high cotton was easier to pick than low cotton.

My grandfather used to tell me not to "sniff around that gal like she is a dog in heat" when I was showing intrest in a gal.

I know tons of them, it would take dang near a book to list them all.


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## BobKat

when i say something or am upset over something stupid my daddy says         "well bless your pea picking heart"  does that count?    and how bout "knee high to a grass hopper"


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## Jayin J

Dark as a sac full of black cats.


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## sawblade723

Shakin like a dog crapping a peach seed, crazy as a sprayed roach, ill as a hornet, ugly as snake guts,


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## redneck_billcollector

If I'm lying, I'm dying.


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## Sargent

"Want in one hand and crap in the other... see which one gets filled up first."


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## Gabassmaster

so good it will make you wanna slap your mama


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## Jeff Phillips

The one that smelt it dealt it


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## Gabassmaster

Jeff Phillips said:


> The one that smelt it dealt it



who said the ryme did the crime


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## blues brother

Ya can't drink all day if ya don't get up early!


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## ratherbefishin

Great time of day.  Great day in the mornin'.  Good lord a mercy. U ain't got the sense God promised a dead billy goat. {at least that's what my granny said}.


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## NotSoFastEddie

Dead as a hammer
Dead as a doorknob
That boy's so dumb he could screw up a
          bowling ball
Well bless your heart
Meaner than a snake
She's so ugly she could make a freight 
          train take a dirt road
Stubborn as a mule, blind as a bat


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## williamt

my moms favorite " well i"ll be john brown"


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## Gabassmaster

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.
That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
Nuttier than a Squirrel POO
You catch more flies with jam than you do with vinegar.
Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish.
Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
It’s drier than a popcorn P OOT
She was battin' her eyes like a toad in a hailstorm.
I AINT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM.


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## doublebarrel

Living on borrowed time.


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## jebaneezer

*old time sayings*

A closed mouth dont get fed!

nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

I would ask my grandpa if he had his knife on him and he would answer....... I got my pants on dont I!

crap or get off the pot. 

graveyard dead!

If he told ya that a chicken could pull a freight train, you'd better get the harness!


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## Kvillehunter

If wishes were horses... We would all take a ride.
We killed a bear, but Pa shot him.


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## aligator

I'll walk a mile for a Camel.


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## slightly grayling

According to my Mother's Grandmother, this goes way back to the Scott Irish that settled in SW Georgia.  I have many Aunts and Uncles in the Soperton area that use this term to this day...to hope someone out is to give them hope....





fishfryer said:


> hope him out= help him out,


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## kalebelk

About a woman with buck teeth: "I bet she could eat corn through a picket fence"

about a woman with too much lipstick on: "those lips are so red, they look like a fox's but during polk-berry season"

about a woman in a skimpy bikini: "there ain't enough there to wad a shotgun"

will post more when i can think of them


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## Hawg Daddy

My dad used to say she is one of the lee sisters homly or ugly  I can't remember.

I'll slap a knot on your head and dare it to rise

that's  as ugly as pootun in church

don't watt me I ain't no light bulb.(right before the back hand)


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## coachrollo

If she was 2" taller she would be round


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## rickrob1

he's killed more deer than screw worms!


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## LittleHolder

Tougher than woodpecker lips.

Busy as a one eyed cat watching two rat holes.

Good as snuff and not half as dusty.

Smooth as silk and not half as hard to clean.

My Daddy still fires at least one a day off.  He is 79 and full of em.  Can't think of all of them sitting in front of the keyboard.


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## CADFather

My PawPaw had thousands of these, I wish I could remember them all:

"Useless as teats on a bull."
"Fords will let you go and bring friends, Chevy's won't let you go at all."
"Get me a dope in a poke." (Coke in a paper bag from the store)

I can't remember anymore sitting here trying to, they come to me at random through out the day.  But one he said more than any other I can remember was, "Fetch in some more coal, boy.  It's gonna be cold t'night."


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## 4HAND

My Grandaddy Butler had a lot of sayings some of which have already been quoted here. He passed away in April of 2008 at the ripe old age of 104.

One I remember is when referring to  good food he would say,'that's good for what ails ya".
Also the one about "better than snuff & not near as dusty".
And I don't know how many times I heard him say," I've got my britches on don't I"? When asked if he had his knife.

He had so many great stories about hunting & fishing............ I sure do miss him!


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## win3006

If you make that face it will get stuck like that


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## GB Young

An old guy I know, after eatin more than any human should be able to, would always scoot back from the table and say, "oh my back, belly, and sides." That didn't leave much !


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## JustUs4All

Gettin' into the short rows.


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## bnew17

im not really old but my favorite ol timey line is

You aint worth a plugged nickel.


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## ribber

he's a curious ol' cuss = he's a strange man
that boy ain't no count = the young man is lazy
well i declare! = say it ain't so
that boy will lie like a rug = the boy is not truthful
ol' Johnny's done took drunk = Johnny has been drinking a lot lately

i'll think of more later. throughout my childhood i heard these and many more and for years i was confused on what some of them meant. i was 18 or 19 before i knew that curious was actually peculiar or strange.


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## lastofthebreed

*Ole timey sayings*

"Boy, you got as much use for that as a sow hog has for side pockets."

My dad would tell me that anytime I asked for something I really wanted, but didn't need.  I sure do miss him.


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## biker13

Don't want ago no higher than pullin corn or lower than diggin taters.


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## Washington95

For cleaning up "a lick and a promise".

For distance traveled "a wagon or axle greasing" per whatever miles.

How about "don't matter who milks the cow as long as it comes home with a full bag"

How about in NC the "boot" (trunk of the car)


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## Washington95

good Lord willing and the creek (Creek) don't rise

off like herd of turtles


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## deerslayer357

*Here's a few more that I haven't seen added yet....*

I swear that boy could 'screw' up a anvil with a toothpick.

Clear as a bell and colder than ....

that's finer than frog's hair split 90 ways.

Just let the hair go with the hide - (don't worry about it)

just saw logs and say nothing.- (shut up and don't worry about it)

that boy's slower than molasses in the winter time.


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## meherg

just because you got a big buck on your wall doesnt mean you shot it
im gonna whoop you like yo mommy and daddy should of
that girls hotter than a two dollar pistol


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## SCPO

"I'd stretch a mile if i didn't have to walk back."


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## wharfrat

how bout when your tryin to get work done and you get the "whys" and "what fors" from the help--"Don't worry about the horse goin blind, just load the wagon"

"messed up as a football bat"

"madder than a cross-eyed rattlesnake"

"madder than a wet hen"

"dumb as a stump"

"ain't no horse to dead to beat one more time"

or as my Dad says, "I'll hit you so many times with my left you'll be beggin for my right" or "I'll hit you once, you'll think your surrounded" or "I'll hit you so hard your buddies will hurt"


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## UK bowhunter

He looks like the dog's been keepin him under the porch

tighter than bark on a tree

she's so cold.....butter wouldn't melt in her mouth

He's so useless if he had a third hand.......he'd need another pocket to put it in.


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## Washington95

Even a blind hog gets an occasional acorn (Lew Whitaker - thanks Lew and God bless)

Ever heard "Fair to Middlin'"?  Heard it for years, then saw painting by Billy Morgan, of Dublin, at VAMC, showing folks (actually VA employees placed in old time cotton gin setting).  One of those folks was holding cotton grading form that had grade of "fair to middlin" on it.  So I suppose that's where it originated.

That said, if you're ever in Dublin, drop by the VA and walk through looking at Billy's murals.  Old timey stuff like you wouldn't believe.  The guy, a rough Georgia redneck looking fellow, but very nice, has unbelieveable talent.  You don't have to be a vet to drop by.  Look on walls as you enter side entrance, around waiting areas, and up/down halls.  Billy painted things from his childhood, including his family members.  Right down to old Prince Albert tins littering ground, hog killing, and just plain life about 50-60 or more years ago.


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## Bubbaforsure

My Daddy's favorite was...

" One in a hill...But....Far between.."


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## applejuice

It will feel better when it quits hurting



Old people are always fun to hang out with, always 
Loving some of these, lol


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## Greenhorn

That boy's lower than snake poop in a wagon rut.


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## CountryCowboy

Fletch_W said:


> That looks like 60 pounds of s*** in a 20 pound bag.



Our version was "10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound sack" to refer to a fat person (usually a fat woman).

Also, "he/she would bring tears to a glass eye" for an ugly person.


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## oldmanbill

Money, Marbles and Chalk  was my dad favorite


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## Washington95

Started my own list of these, which of course I can't find right now.

But........

If shoe fits wear it

Tell truth and shame the devil

Don't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home


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## Manonriver

Well...I'll swanny..


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## CamoCop

" is a beavers behind water tight "

" my knife's so sharp i can cut the stink off float'n poop without ripple'n the water "

" your as sharp as a mashed potatoe sandwich "

" madder than a 1 legged man at a butt kick'n contest "

" i'm only gonna cut you 3 times...fast, deep and often "

" he/she nuttier than a squirrel poop "

" he/she not the brightest crayon in the box "

" he/she not the sharpest knife in the drawer "

" drunk as cooter brown "

" full as a tick "

" that deer fell like wet laundry "


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## olcowman

"everything he ever mounted to done mounted up and left"

"bout as practical as lipstick on a hawg"

"brrrr, it's cold enough to kill hawgs in here"



"smart as a busload of county agents"

"sober as a judge"

"broker than a convict"

"crazier than an outhouse rat"

"more aggravating than an outhouse fly"

"that feller was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him in the ground"

"that hound was so good we had to plug up one side of his nose to keep him from running two trails at once"


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## CamoCop

" madder than an ol wet hen "
" ain't got a dog in that fight "

" worthless as chicken poop on the pump handle "


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## cramer

"I'd marry her dog just to get in her back yard"

after marrying my wife instead of the dog it inspired me to make up my own saying

"She's meaner than a rattlesnake eatin' a porcupine"
ya'll can use that one, but I'm warning you - I got her believing she is THE meanest woman and that this saying only applies to her and I can't be held responsible for your safety!


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## Washington95

Can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear

Slick as a whistle

Watch your p's and q's

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

I ain't no pushover but I can be had



Make hay while the sun shines

Little pitchers have big ears (kids over hearing adults talking)

Shake the dew off

If you shake over twice you're playing

Blind hog gets and occasional acorn

Cat's out of the bag

Spill the beans

Like to buy her for what she's worth and sell her for what she thinks she's worth  (can substitute "he" for she.)

Better than a jab in the eye with a sharp stick (God rest and bless you Lew)

Don't hide your light under a basket


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## RedlandCreekGreg

well i suwannee,,,,,  used to hear that all the time


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## Roger T

somethin that wasnt done very good:
that looks like hammered butt

worthless & high dollar


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## Vernon Holt

RedlandCreekGreg said:


> well i suwannee,,,,, used to hear that all the time


 
Have heard this expression all of my life, except that it was in a slightly different version.  The expression was: "*well I swan*".

I have been told that this expression originated in the bible belt as a substitute expression for the saying, "well, I swear".

Southern people, (for the most part) were aware that the bible clearly prohibits swearing.

"_But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation_".  James 5:12

The saying, "Well, I swan" became a well used substitute for "Well, I swear"


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## jfinch

Here is one that my dad used to tell me if I was about to earn a whipping:  

"Boy if you keep it up it is going to be too wet to plow."


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## cheeber

From my Alabaman mother in-law:

"Got more _blank_ than little carvers got pills" - you got a whole bunch of something

"Hold'er Hilder, I held for you" - hang on a second

"All in the world is queer except thee and me, and even thou arts a little queer" - Yes that person may be a little different, but that’s all relative and other people may think you’re a little weird too.

"Crying in a milk jug" – Holy cow, I'm shocked (my personal favorite)


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## DAWG1419

That's better than a stick in the eye


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## testdepth

My grandma used to tell us to get our feet off the davenport!

Dumber than a box a rocks

Can't fight his way out of a paper sack

Back before sliced bread was invented

10 days older than dirt

So ugly my eyes hurt just from looking at it


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## JustUs4All

Lite down and set a spell.


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## Citiboy287

" dog that brings a bone always takes a bone "  has to do with people telling you something about a person and then going back to them with what you said


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## centerc

if grandmaw had wheels she'd be a wagon
want in one hand and spit in the other


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## Sugar HillDawg

Uglier than a hog's butt sewed up with a logging chain.


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## Son

It's so good, it'll make your tongue slap your nose off yer face.
Slower than the seven year itch./
You ain't much good, but you're fun to watch.
Hot dog, said the woodpecker when the hawk hit him.


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## Greaserbilly

cheeber said:


> From my Alabaman mother in-law:
> 
> "Got more _blank_ than little carvers got pills" - you got a whole bunch of something
> 
> "Hold'er Hilder, I held for you" - hang on a second
> 
> "All in the world is queer except thee and me, and even thou arts a little queer" - Yes that person may be a little different, but that’s all relative and other people may think you’re a little weird too.
> 
> "Crying in a milk jug" – Holy cow, I'm shocked (my personal favorite)



Well, if you're going to Northern England....

"There's nowt so queer as folk": translated, "there's nothing as strange as your neighbours."  Said when it's discovered the pastor's been dealing heroin, the nice young paperboy's actually a serial killer, etc.


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## threeleggedpigmy

Greaserbilly said:


> Well, if you're going to Northern England....
> 
> "There's nowt so queer as folk": translated, "there's nothing as strange as your neighbours."  Said when it's discovered the pastor's been dealing heroin, the nice young paperboy's actually a serial killer, etc.



In the England, they have a whole different language in slang. It is called Cotney

I be up those apples and pears-- Meaning going up the wooden stairs.  
One such example.


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## Dovebuster33

She's so ugly she'd have to sneak up on the dipper to get a drink of water.

That is sooo good it would make a puppy pull a freight train

Dumber than a bag of hammers

I have to admit. I learned these from the Great Jerry Clower. 
" Haaaw shoot that thang."


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## HBC4570

i'll hit you so hard your knee caps will fall off.
my dad told me once: son don't mess with that man, he's
killed more folks than smallpox.


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## Lukikus2

Manonriver said:


> Well...I'll swanny..



That's what my Grandmother always used to say. 

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.
I'd like to play in the hay with that filly.
She's so ugly she'd make a black widow bite itself.


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## egomaniac247

I am at work and this one got me some strange looks from people when I started cracking up



> Busy as a one eyed cat watching two rat holes.


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## TurkeyKiller12

*old sayings...*

Stackin' em up like stove wood = Having a great season (deer, turkey, etc)

They was biting yesterday= refering to the reason we didn't catch any fish today.

Has a cat got a climbing gear???

Redder than a foxes rear end

Blacker than a crows rear end

He just a soon climb a tree and tell a lie than to stay on the ground and tell the truth. = refers to someone that lies alot.

Had a great uncle one time tell me that he was once so cold that he pooted and caught it rolling out his britches leg, he put it on the mantle above the fireplace and few minutes later he heared poooooooooot. 

That gals so big if you told her to haul butt it would take her 2 trips.

Ol butter face = This name is giving to a gal when everything looks good butter face.

I have a friend that is around 94 year old and he was telling me about a life insurance salesman that came to his house one day. He popped out one of his many sayings on him, I don't want to buy something I have to die to get. 

There are a lot of the old timers that I wished were still around. I didn't appreciate thier stories much when they were here but boy I do now. I'd give anything to talk just a few more minutes to a few of them.


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## ancienttrails

If it wasn,t for broke we wodn,t have nothing at all!:.,Darker than  inside of a cow.


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## Seth carter

got bout as much sence as a sack of hammers


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## simpleman30

or when some mexican garble would come over the CB radio he'd say, "You do and you'll clean it up!"

"she's so ugly she'd make a train take a dirt road."


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## Wild Turkey

That skeeter was so big he had a tick on em.
If she was a man i'd beat the tar out of her.
Get one young and train her yourself.
You cant learn nothin with your mouth open.


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## greencracker

Good times!
How 'bout:
I'll go to town on your lip! = stop pouting/your lip is sticking out as much as a sidewalk
or, for disorderly crowd: about like three truckloads of bean pickers without a foreman
or, I'm going to throw you to the wolves
or , He's a snake in the grass


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## Rackbuster

So broke you could turn a whole pack of hounds loose in my pocket and couldn't even strike a penny trail.

He's so sorry castor oil won't even work him.


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## ylhatch

uglier than pootin in church,he ain't worth two dead flies,slicker than eel snot,hotter than ten foot up a bulls butt,i'm so broke i couldnt buy a dozen setting eggs


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## jason4445

I do not know if it is a southern thing or just general, but when you are going to town to do something do you say you are going uptown or downtown - and why one over the other?

I have actually been corrected when I would say I am going downtown,  and someone would reply - no around here you go uptown.


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## TJay

"bout quar as a hollow Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----"
"time to call in the dogs and wizz on the fire"


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## ted_BSR

It's better than a sharp stick in the eye.

Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

So hungry my belly thinks my throats been cut.

So hungry I could eat my arm.

Crooked as a dawg's hind leg.

Harder than nailing a raw egg to a tree.

Sharp as a bowling ball.

Slow as a crippled turtle.

Run as fast as a scalded dawg.

Rainin' like a cow urinating on a flat rock.

Scarce as Hen's teeth.

Naked as a jaybird.

Hard as a pine knot.

Sharp as a marble, and....

She's so ugly she could scare a buzzard off a meat wagon.


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## donald-f

She is so ugly she would draw a blister on a brick wall and turn around and burst it.


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## southron

she's ugly as a mud fence, why she'd stop an eight day clock.         ol job never had such a turn of rabbits.
shux, she's a hug and chalk woman.
she's finer than a three legged hunting dog.


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## 1gr8bldr

Loud as a bull in a china shop
Boy you'd tear up an anvil
That guy could work all day in a closet
 If you fall, your fired before you hit the ground
Time to go, it's already dark at the house
When I catch this one and one more, I'll have two
I've forgotten more than you'll ever know


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## 1gr8bldr

Way back then the weather was unpredictable. It got so hot once that the corn started popping, the mule thought it was snowing and stood there and froze to death. The wind blew so hard that it blew the tub inside out, blew the kitchen through the den and out the front door, and blew the days of the week so far apart that friday came late sunday evening.


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## 1gr8bldr

We were so poor back then that daddy saw a sign that said free air so he busted all four tires. We ate corn on the cob then we brushed our teeth with the cob. Then we wiped our butt with it. Then we soaked it oil to start fires with it. Daddy drove nails straight up in the chickens feed trough to slow them down.


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## 1gr8bldr

I'd do that on the hood of my truck on the side of the interstate with my mother inlaw digging a pitch fork in my back


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## 1gr8bldr

She's so good looking that she'd make a bull dog break his chain.
She's so good looking that she'd make a train take a dirt road


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## 1gr8bldr

If you might win this fight, but you had better pack a lunch.
You'd be better off to crap in mamas best frying pan.


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## Greenhorn

Fasten your barn door before your mule gets out. When you catch somebody with their zipper down. 
Useless as teats on a tom cat.
That makes about as much sense as peeing up a rope.


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## woods-n-water

Talk a whale into walkin
weeker than dish water 
blackern 3 ft up a bull's @&#%
lunch was called dinner and dinner was called supper
boy we got a smart of rain last night....


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## woods-n-water

You ain't too old for ya wants to hurt cha


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## pine nut

I cain't wait!  Wait's what broke the waggon down!
From the back that looks like two coons a fightin' in a sack!
Don't buy a pig in a poke!
If I'd a knowed you's a comin',I'da baked a cake!
Company's a comin' throw some onions in tha far to mak'em think we having somethin' good fer supper!
After a huge meal like at Thanksgiving, "That wus jist about as good as a full meal!"
Happier than a pig in slop.
Happier than a pig in the sunshine!
Smilin' like a mule a eatin' briars!
She's so purdy I'd camp on her back porch!
About a basset hound,  "He's a dawg and a half long and a half a dog high!"
A gullible person:  "He swallered it hook line and sinker, and run under tha bank with it!"
You can take his word to tha bank!
If he can't fix it it ain't broke!
That boy'd druther climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell tha truth!


I believe southerners talk in technicolor and yankees talk in black and white.  To quote Lewis Grizzard, "Take the words naked and neckked!  Naked means you ain't got no clothes on.  Neckked means you ain't got no clothes on, and you're up to sumpthin"!"  

I have enjoyed this thread. It brings back memories of a simpler time and memories of loved ones!


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## RangerJ

He's crazy as a run over dog. He looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate. I used to hear these often growing up.


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## joedublin

My Dad used to say that if a deer was sneakin' through the woods it was "slippyfootin'".


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## John I. Shore

Momma use to say: He's sweeter'n snuff & not near as nasty.
We use to go huntin: Down to the Hog Waller, and my Uncle was
always: "Fair to Middlin".

John I.
Messermacher


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## NG ALUM

"it's hotter than two fat rats freakin in a wool sock"
"it's hot as blazes"
"I'm sweating like a Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ---- in church"
" That dog won't hunt" -when something just isn't right
" if you can pour salt on a bulls tail you can catch it" -no trick there just saying if you can get close enough to pour salt on it, your close enough to catch it
" He's right as rain"
"if you string fence in the winter, you'll lose your cows in the summer" - in the summer the hotter weather causes the wire to expand making it sag and the cows can get out.
"don't make me start lying"- when you don't know something
"slow as pond water"
"till the cows come home"
"you stumped me"
"he was a running around like a chicken with it's head cut off"
" I'll stomp enough manure outta you to fertilize the whole state of Texas boy" -my grandaddy to me
"I'll snatch a knot on your head"
"well I declair"
"your other left"-when you confuse your right from left
"well don't that just beat all?"
"if the good lord's willing and the creek don't rise"
"it's back to the drawing board"
"she must be from tennessee cause she's the only ten-I-see"
"your can be the dumbest smart kid I know"
"whats missing in his equation"
"It was dark as a new moon in a bat cave"
"she's pretty as a picture"
"cute as a button"
"if I was doing any better I couldn't stand it"
"when it's cold you want it hot, when its hot you want it cold, you always want what it's not!"
"don't you be sucking your teeth at me"
"playing possum"
"don't think when your not use to it"


"im reaching now" so I'll think of more later


----------



## turkeys101

rode hard and put up wet, 
ill be james brown  
and grany used fiddle sticks and fiddle fadle when something didnt go the way she planed it


----------



## Vernon Holt

*Old Sayings*



turkeys101 said:


> *"I'll be james brown"*


 

"I'll be James Brown" may have been a saying, but it was not an old saying.

"I'll be John Brown" was the old saying that was used going back well before the Civil War period. You were close!


----------



## The Crowe

ive heard james and john brown 
didnt read all of them but how bout sit a spell


----------



## fireman32

sit down here and preciate myself. "eating biscuits and syrup.
he'll last through bout one more clean shirt. "being old"
I'll cloud up and rain on you boy.
My daddys favorite, get over it or die totin it.
confused as a duck on a desert.


----------



## shoot2grill

When someone would ask grandaddy how he was doing he'd say" if id known I was gone live this long I would have taken better care of myself" I didn't understand what that meant as a kid but I do now.


----------



## shoot2grill

Grandaddy used to commercial fish and we'd spend hours cleaning catfish when he got back from a trip. Whenever we got to the last fish in the cooler he'd always say "here's the one I been waiting on the LAST ONE!" .....miss him everyday


----------



## Quepos1

A couple

She's uglier than a mud fence.
He's so ugly they shaved his butt and made him walk backward.
Lower tan a snake's belly.
More nervous than a Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ---- in church.
I'll slap you crosseyed!
Too broke to pay attention.
So ugly she would back a buzzard off a gut wagon.
If wishes were horses then beggers could ride.
When my Mother would tell me to do something and I replied "wait".  She would reply, "weight is what broke the cart down."
When I wanted her to give me a ride somewhere when I was a kid and she wasn't getting ready fast enough I would say come on, let's go.  Her reply was, "walking isn't crowded, strike out and I will pick you up on the way."


----------



## Ole Crip

You smell worse than a pole cat on a hot day.
I'm thirsty-well i'm friday how you doing.
She is uglier than homemade sin.
That girl is finer than frog hair.
Boy you are dumber than a box of rocks.
I am going to beat you like a red headed step child.
Boy you are slower than mollases.
If these walls could talk.
Jimmeny cricketts.


----------



## huntin tha horns

Hangin like a hair on a buiscuit...
Fair to middlin...


----------



## cgn526

sneakin' up on a bisquit - for eating a meal
more fun than stompin' baby chickens - just for shock value I think
uglier than a train wreck -  for an ugly girl
more curious than a preacher's daughter - to compare any curiosity to her promiscuity (hope I spelled that right)


----------



## Killdee

Mama used to say "That feller is quare" meaning strange or off in the head.

He aint got walking around sense.
Shes 2 axe handles across the.... Butt.
Slicker than a Minners .......thang 
If you dont pay me my money this Friday, by next Friday, you will have been dead a week.
Deader than John Wilks Booth.


----------



## Dixiesimpleman32

dark as a sack of black cats
sorrrier than a pile of snake droppins
burnt slap up


----------



## fishingmaddog

Hanging in there like a loose tooth, Good as snuff and aint half as dusty, I'll swunney(sp), she's so ugly she would make a freight train take a dirt road, That fish weighed 20 lbs i seen the scales on his back.


----------



## jreXD9

"he couldn't trap a hog in a ditch"......somebody who's bowlegged
"copacetic".....how you're doing today if you're doing pretty good
"if you wash your car it'll rain".......self explanatory
"uglier than sin and not nearly as fun"
"he's about as sharp as a hammer".....not real bright
"she don't sweat much for a fat girl"


----------



## Maggie Dog

I'm so broke, if it cost a quarter to go around the world, I wouldn't make it to Lithonia.

Boy, Your puttin the wagon before the mule.

Your beating on a dead mule

Your preaching to the choir

Come a cloud- after a rain shower

I swanee- from my mom (often)

I'm glad you got to see me. ( elderly man at the corner store)


----------



## Fishlipps Revisited

she's a "butter-head"...(everything looks good but-her head)

Don't squat on your spurs.

As welcome as an outhouse breeze. 

Big hat, no cattle. 
      (All talk and no action) 

 This ain't my first rodeo. 
       (I've been around awhile) 

You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them 
       biscuits. 
       (You can say whatever you want about something, but that 
       doesn't change what it is). 

She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth. 
      (That woman can talk)


----------



## Tvveedie

Ain't holdin yer mouth right.  (applies to anything someone is failing to accomplish)

You'd screw up a *edit* dream.

Hold on to yer mash potatos and gravy.

You ain't jez whistlin Dixie.



not a sayin but I was told early on if you put salt on a bird's tail, it can't fly and you can catch it.


----------



## Killdee

Heres another
 You would just as soon climb up and poop on your Mama's table as to mess with me.


----------



## triton

Purdy as a spickled pup 
Ugly as a horses butt sewed up with a grape vine 

Jam up & jelly tight 
Bright as a burnt out light bulb 
Slicker than snot 
Btween a rock and a hard spot 
Clear as mud 
Sharp as a tack 
Cant run with the big dogs stay on the portch with the pups 
Happy as a clam 
Smile from ear to ear 
Smile so big if he was eating cornbread he would have crums in his ears


----------



## triton

Sorry


----------



## leemckinney

I will knock you into next week.


----------



## willie

Dumber than a sack of hammers.

If ifs and buts was candy and nuts it'd be Christmas all year long.

"shoot" fire and save the matches, "pluck" a duck and see what hatches.

Slicker than snot on a doorknob in the rain.


----------



## triton

Her pants were so tight if she ------(pass gas) she would blow her socks off


----------



## Swamp Monkey

Lost as last years Easter egg.

That's as good as a Mother's love.


----------



## redneck_billcollector

"I'm gonna whoop you like a run a way slave."  The politically correct version is "I'm gonna whoop you like a rented mule."


----------



## redneck_billcollector

"Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival".  Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.


----------



## jim8377

Crazy as a outhouse rat.


----------



## Killdee

redneck_billcollector said:


> "Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival".  Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.



I like that one

I was always skinny and folks said, I looked like I traded legs with a jaybird and got cheated out of a Butt.
Hence the nick name Killdee since I was 11, near 60 and still called Killdee by all my friends and customers.


----------



## garveywallbanger

*A Man That Picks Up A Cat By Its Tail Learns A Lesson He Can Learn No Other Way.
*If Your In A Hole ...Stop Diggin.
*Doin Wrong Never Has A Happy Ending.
*The Best Way To Remember Your Anniversary Is To Forget It Once.


----------



## 1eyehunting

so cross-eyed or scatter-brained, 'he had one eye huntin and the other eye fishin...'!


----------



## 1eyehunting

'good judgement comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgement.'


----------



## Ruger#3

Stank so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon!


----------



## Twiggbuster

tighter than Dick's hat band


----------



## Vernon Holt

Twigg: You are adding to it.  There is no "a" in the saying.


----------



## Twiggbuster

heard it both ways


----------



## RUGERWARRIOR

Ill whoop a whole pen full of fellas like you and gaurd the gate at the same time.
Dryer than a popcorn poot in south Georgia in the summer time.
I bet you the last poot in a can of beans.
Hotter than 2 cats in a wool sock makin love.
Slicker than boiled okra.
Aint got no dog in that fight.
I wish I woulda been rich instead of so good lookin.(For ugly people)

Them guys at work get a kick out of my sayings at work. Thanks to this thread I got some new ones.


----------



## TURKEY SLAMMER

So broke have to poot to have a scent in my pocket.


----------



## ramblinrack

one i heard after moving down to bama many yrs ago ...

"if brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enuff to git a pis-aint's motor scooter half-way around a dadgum bb".


----------



## king killer delete

He or she is common. lower than snake sh----t. He is dumber than dumb. Its a Red letter day. He is livin in high cotton.I I would like to buy him for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth. He or she is low rent.


----------



## corbread

useless as - I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH - on a boar hog
I'll be darn
opposum up a gum bush
cracker jack [good at somthing]
getfromhere [one word]
shoeshow [strip club]
busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest
good grandits


----------



## hobbs27

My great grandpa use to cut up with kids by asking, "You from around here, or do you pick peas?"
I got civil war letters from the family, and when they invited folks over to eat a good meal the would say, "Come over and I'll tighten your belly bands".


----------



## lcopeland22

"grabbed em by the hair of the head"
an alergy or a sinus headache is just a "sinus"
a bar is a "beer joint"
and my favorite, a fly swatter is a "fly flap"


----------



## Sirduke

Blowing smoke up your butt, which I found out comes from an old medical procedure where they gave tobacco smoke enemas !

My father was a source for old sayings, one of my favorites was, "you be that end of the horse, I'll be the head"

Do it again, I didn't feel nothing, when you hit your hand or head.

Its your lie, tell it like you want to.

Sulled up like a possum with a sweet tater

He cain't help his mama and daddy ain't married

He tons of them, I've seen a lot of them already posted


----------



## Sirduke

Rather pack butter up a wildcats butt with a red hot pitchfork than mess with him.

Hotter than a two dollar pistol on a Saturday night

Madder that a wet hornet

Looks like two coons fighting in a croaker sack, describing a fat womans butt in tight clothing

You'd rather walk through a lions den in porkchop drawers

Rather walk through Hades in gasoline drawers and kerosene pants


----------



## 7dawg9

After he had done got a bait of that stuff, he got shed of it.


----------



## serving1Lord

That's sharper than a chiggers digger.


----------



## Oconostota

"Put that on my account...on account of I ain't got no money".


----------



## waddler

redurham said:


> After he had done got a bait of that stuff, he got shed of it.



Heard that all my life and wondered whether the "shed" was like shedding an antler or if it was "shet", a mongrelization of "shut". Most of the people I heard saying it were much exposed to the Scotch Settler ancestry, and I wondered if it could have meant "cut off from or shut away from".


----------



## Oconostota

This one drives me up the wall.  Not really a saying, but rather a single word.  Not just old timers, but pretty much everyone.

"My starter needs a new silenoid", is how it's almost always pronounced.

It's "solenoid", folks.  That's an O, not an I, after the S.  Where in the heck does the typical pronunciation come from?

It's pronounced "saulenoyd".


----------



## waddler

Try TY-YOTA!


----------



## Oconostota

"Put a scotch under that wheel, so the truck don't roll".

hmmmm - a chock is a scotch?  

I guess that's from when most folks carried a bottle of scotch under the seat, and whipped it out to chock the wheel.


----------



## Oconostota

waddler said:


> Try TY-YOTA!



Yep - I hear that all the time.  Same guy that says that, also owned an Izusu Trooper and Izusu Rodeo.  Yep - that's how he pronounces it.  And the guy actually has a Master's Degree in education.


----------



## waddler

Is it pronounced that way in Japan? I have never been there.


----------



## Chattco1

The saying or phrase that drives me absolutely insane is "I Seen". For the love of God, IT'S I SAW OR I HAVE SEEN!!!!


----------



## NCHillbilly

Oconostota said:


> This one drives me up the wall.  Not really a saying, but rather a single word.  Not just old timers, but pretty much everyone.
> 
> "My starter needs a new silenoid", is how it's almost always pronounced.
> 
> It's "solenoid", folks.  That's an O, not an I, after the S.  Where in the heck does the typical pronunciation come from?
> 
> It's pronounced "saulenoyd".





Oconostota said:


> "Put a scotch under that wheel, so the truck don't roll".
> 
> hmmmm - a chock is a scotch?
> 
> I guess that's from when most folks carried a bottle of scotch under the seat, and whipped it out to chock the wheel.





Oconostota said:


> Yep - I hear that all the time.  Same guy that says that, also owned an Izusu Trooper and Izusu Rodeo.  Yep - that's how he pronounces it.  And the guy actually has a Master's Degree in education.



And "Oconostota" should be spelled and pronounced "A'gan-sta'ta, as there is no long "o" in the Cherokee language as there is in the Anglicized version of many of their words. 

I wouldn't go around assuming people are ignorant because they refuse to abandon their native accent and speech patterns just to be politically correct. I know exactly how an educated yankee would pronounce most words, but that doesn't mean that I will pronounce it that way. I can write English, but I refuse to speak it.


----------



## Oconostota

^^  Seems to be kind of a personal attack there.

You seem to be confusing "politically correct" with just (halfway) "correct".

Accents and speech patterns are quite a bit different than completely misspelling (or mis-saying) a word.  Accents and speech patterns are cool.  The other just makes one sound like school was abandoned in 1st or 2nd grade.

So, how is Ponce de Leon pronounced?  "Pawnse duh leeon", or "Poense they Leeown"?  (since you seem to imply that I can't even pronounce my own username)


----------



## hunter rich

You'd rather shave a bobcats butt with a skoal can lid in a phone booth then mess with me...

Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch o the way down...

If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose...

That boys pants were so tight you could tell his religion...

As sharp as a bowlin' ball...

My take home pay wont take me home...

It only hurts until the pain goes away...


----------



## NCHillbilly

> Originally Posted by *Oconostota*:
> 
> _^^ Seems to be kind of a personal attack there.
> 
> You seem to be confusing "politically correct" with just (halfway) "correct".
> 
> Accents and speech patterns are quite a bit different than completely misspelling (or mis-saying) a word. Accents and speech patterns are cool. The other just makes one sound like school was abandoned in 1st or 2nd grade.
> 
> So, how is Ponce de Leon pronounced? "Pawnse duh leeon", or "Poense they Leeown"? (since you seem to imply that I can't even pronounce my own username)_




Chill, dude, I'm just  at ya for bein' the speech po-lice. Point is, I know very well how to correctly pronounce, say, "wasp," but I just prefer the way the word "wawsper" sounds. I never pronounce the "g" at the end of a gerund or participle. I gen'rally prefur to be a-pronunciatin' 'em jist like this hyere. Many people are probably similar. I didn't abandon school in the first grade, but a lot of flatlander folks would probably assume that I did after talking to me, if they're the type of people who automatically sterotype people by the way they speak and equate an Appalachian accent and idioms with ignorance and not knowing any better. Proper English feels weird and fake coming out of my mouth.


----------



## Oconostota

NCHillbilly said:


> Chill, dude, I'm just  at ya for bein' the speech po-lice. Point is, I know very well how to correctly pronounce, say, "wasp," but I just prefer the way the word "wawsper" sounds. I never pronounce the "g" at the end of a gerund or participle. I gen'rally prefur to be a-pronunciatin' 'em jist like this hyere. Many people are probably similar. I didn't abandon school in the first grade, but a lot of flatlander folks would probably assume that I did after talking to me, if they're the type of people who automatically sterotype people by the way they speak and equate an Appalachian accent and idioms with ignorance and not knowing any better. Proper English feels weird and fake coming out of my mouth.



Speech police in a thread particularly about such things, eh?  Alrighty then.

And are you in your NC vacation home this week (or Summer), visiting there from Georgia?  Or do you just like picking arguments with people in surrounding states, on GEORGIA Outdoor News Forum, from high up on your mountain?


----------



## NCHillbilly

I just like picking arguments with people in surrounding states, on GEORGIA Outdoor News Forum, from high up on my mountain. 

And I think the thread was about celebrating interesting old-timey sayings, not about being aggravated at unwashed people mispronouncing modern words and Japanese car names. No need to get fuzzed up like a settin' hen. 

Throw that hook out there, and some feller's'll swaller it hook line and sinker, and run plum under tha bank with it. If that don't just beat a hen a-rootin' uphill backwards.


----------



## Keebs

Well Bless his pea pickin heart..................


----------



## Lukikus2

"That boy is so dumb he couldn't make his way out of a wet paper bag"


----------



## NE GA Pappy

If you asked how they were doing they would say.... somewhere between grass and hay.


----------



## jbfitz

You know you have a level headed woman when snuff runs out both sides of her mouth, ill be dern, if u sleep with the dogs u will wake up with fleas


----------



## jbfitz

Mad as a hornet, raining cats and dogs


----------



## jbfitz

I just thought of a couple more u cant hit the brawd side of a barn, naked as a j-bird, shut that door boy was u born in a barn


----------



## Lindseys Grandpa

When i was a kid and probably still most Insurance company's were based up north so when someone who was behind in payment's stuff disappeared or burnt up my Grandaddy would say "He sold it to the Yankee's".

Another one was "Thinking the devil is worse than seeing the devil"


----------



## Cabin creek man

That haircuts sharper than a  chainsaw      
 That gals hotter than a Heater door i'n a snowstorm 
 Ain't no frettin on somebody elses dollar.. Means don't worry about what other people do 
 Gotta work for them taters  old man i'n town always called money taters he had more taters than any one person should ever need 
Another tater one is "he's justa tater farmer" around here that ment that it was somebody that lived back i'n the mountains and made their cash selling ginseng.
I've heard so many from my Nannie and poppa I just have to remember them


----------



## ncrobb

From my father who passed away Sunday:

That's some good eatin'

I'll slap the taste out of your mouth.

Come go with us - when you leave a friend or relative's house.

Shiny as a new penny

Rough as a cob

Dumb as dirt

Right as rain

Sunday go to meetin' clothes - his best clothes

brogans - work boots

Tough as nails

Stubborn as a mule


----------



## lectrikman

Don't count your chickens till the eggs are hatched

Slicker than cat stuff on a linoleum floor

Colder than a well diggers behind

Don't put the cart before the horse

If wishes were horses only beggers would ride

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth


----------



## cramer

gotta  hitch in my get-a-long


----------



## 35 Whelen

Whenever I irritated my grandmother she would say "I'm going to box your ears boy!"


----------



## coondog96

My butt would make them a Sunday face

Meaner than a two headed snake

I'd be all over that like stink on crap


----------



## jmanley17

Dont buy a pig in a poke 
Ive got more ... than carter had oats


----------



## jmanley17

Dad always says we killed a bear but maw shot it 
When i say if something he says if your aunt had.  ..... She woulda. Been your uncle


----------



## kennybogan

she is a butter face. everything looks good but her face.


----------



## SkintRider

If wishes wuz horses,beggars would ride.
If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their butts when they jumped.


----------



## T-Boy

If they put your brain in a match box it would rattle like a BB in a box car.

Getting a fastball past Hank Aaron is like sneaking daylight past a rooster.

I see said the blind man as he raised his wooden leg.

Bogus as a 3 dollar bill.

Funny as a screen door in a submarine.

You wouldn't know the truth if it hit you in the face.


----------



## little rascal

*sayings,*

He/She is so ugly they'ed snag lightning!
Slicker than eel snot!
If brains wer gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to start a - I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH - ant's motorcycle.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
The devil's beating his wife(sunshining during rain).
Grinning like a jackass eating briars.
He's one brick short of a stack.
He's one sammich short of a picnic.
He ain't got both oars in the water, or one oar short of a rowboat.
Snug as a bug in a rug.
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow ur nose.
Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.
Had to (take care of biz) like a crippled raccoon.
Tip toeing like a houndog trying to pass a peach seed.
Grinning like a possum.
Go cut me a switch.
A day late and a dollar short.
When it rains it pours.
Trying to make Chicken Scratch outta Chicken Poop.
Where's so and so? He went to poop and the Hog's ate him.
Is a Bull Frog Water Proof???


----------



## wharfrat

don't pea on my head and call it rain


----------



## snookdoctor

Life's easier if you plow around the stumps.


----------



## White Horse

"Cuttin' a shine..." as in "Man, I've been sick today.. my stomach is cuttin' a shine."

"Heap..." Meaning an indeterminate but large amount, as in "Bring in a heap of wood from the woodpile."

"Deep pockets and short arms..." Applied to anyone who is thrifty and frugal.

"If I had a head like that I'd worry if it didn't hurt."


----------



## aabradley82

Nobody has mentioned " the rabbit died"


----------



## woodyjim

Alligator mouth writes check hummingbird butt can't cash
If wishes were horses,beggars would ride


----------



## rvick

of a bad wife..."she could throw it out the back door with a spoon, faster than he could bring it in with a shovel".


----------



## Hooded Merganser

From my Grandaddy, who lives now in Thomas County but grew up in Coweta. 71 years old this month.

"Good as snuff and not half as dusty"
"Rich as ten foot up a bull's butt"
"Rich enough to burn a wet mule"
"Fine as the hair on a frogs butt" in reference to a beautiful woman.
and my favorite... One about seeing a barn rat so big it could stand "flat footed" and perform a certain act on a turkey. But we have to keep it G rated. 

Love my Grandad and all the old timers with their sayings. If I think of more, or if he utters another classic I'll post it. 

HM


----------



## blink

My Papa had many, but these are two i can think of...

It's colder than a witch's ti-tty!

It's hotter than a nanny goat in a pepper patch!


----------



## ccfrasstchief

Sexier than socks on a chicken. 
For something that was rigged up, "about like windshield wipers on a billy goats butt"


----------



## Russdaddy

SCAT CAT, YA TAILS ION THE GRAVY!  Great G-parents used to say this when someone would sneeze. Never knew where it came from but was funny as a kid..


----------



## rvick

Russdaddy said:


> SCAT CAT, YA TAILS ION THE GRAVY!  Great G-parents used to say this when someone would sneeze. Never knew where it came from but was funny as a kid..


 My Granny would say "Scat cat...go catch a rat!" I haven't thought of that in many years.


----------



## Lukikus2

You ain't holding your mouth right.


----------



## Lukikus2

You are mature enough to have your own gun now.


----------



## rvick

if one was about to get in trouble, one was about to get "in Dutch"...don't know where that came from but I used to get in Dutch a lot.


----------



## Russdaddy

ne ga pappy said:


> if you asked how they were doing they would say.... Somewhere between grass and hay.



or "fair da midlin"


----------



## Russdaddy

When someone says they "might" do something...the reply would be mites are on a chickens az


----------



## TrailBlazer999

From my dad.

Whatever blows your skirt up. = whatever you want.

She'd stop an 8 day clock. = ugly woman.

I'll be all over you like a dirty shirt. = I'm gonna whup you.

She'll make you dizzy. = watching a fine figured woman walking away.

And when he'd ask me something and I'd start by saying "Well...", he'd tell me that was a deep subject.


----------



## Lukikus2

Give them an inch and they will take a mile


----------



## hobbs27

Im wondering if anyone can tell me the root or the history of the southern word, " fixen" or as pronounced many times in north georgia " fisten"  which means about to?


----------



## 7 point

My Pastor uses this when he gets in A long winded sermon and is about out of time He says he dont have time to chase that rabbit right now.


----------



## 7 point

My Daddy says this when he sees someone keep dropping thing with there hands ( grab it like you mean it don't be so clabber handed).

He would say on a hot summer day after work he would say (Man alive the bear bout got me today) referring to the heat.


----------



## Scrapy

Times got so hard"

I cooked some biscuit for my dog and laid them on the shelf.
Times got so hard I killed that dog and ate them biscuits myself.


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## StateOfBaker

hobbs27 said:


> Im wondering if anyone can tell me the root or the history of the southern word, " fixen" or as pronounced many times in north georgia " fisten"  which means about to?



It's a pretty interesting term. "Fixing" is used pretty much like any other form of the the verb "to fix" (as in "fixing a car" or "fixing supper"). The word generally means to prepare, fasten, arrange, or make ready for use, but in Southern colloquial usage, it's always a) appended to another verb and b) conjugated in the progressive (..e.g. "I am fixing to... "or "He was fixing to..," but never "She fixed to..." ). So basically it just indicates that someone is making preparations to do some action in the immediate future.


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## jeffrey

"No one home but us chickens"

"Couldn't hit a barn from the inside"

"Chaps my hide"

"Prize it out"(pry it out)


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## Scrapy

My old aunt mailed me a recipe for turtle. She made sure to tell me that cooter was pronounced like "foot" .


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## Scrapy

StateOfBaker said:


> It's a pretty interesting term. "Fixing" is used pretty much like any other form of the the verb "to fix" (as in "fixing a car" or "fixing supper"). The word generally means to prepare, fasten, arrange, or make ready for use, but in Southern colloquial usage, it's always a) appended to another verb and b) conjugated in the progressive (..e.g. "I am fixing to... "or "He was fixing to..," but never "She fixed to..." ). So basically it just indicates that someone is making preparations to do some action in the immediate future.



When my son was 12 I traded 2 bushels of oysters for a worn out 4 wheel drive diesel truck for him. For a solid year he was under that truck. I bought him tools and all the parts.  One night I asked him what he was doing?  He said he was "working on" his truck.  I told him when he grew up that if he ever asked a mechanic what he was doing and he said "working on" to take the truck and go. The proper answer is "fixing" . He never forgot that.  And it has served him well. You can "work on " something for ever. To "fix" has an expected outcome.


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## StateOfBaker

Scrapy said:


> My old aunt mailed me a recipe for turtle. She made sure to tell me that cooter was pronounced like "foot" .



Mind posting that recipe?


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## Texas Bill

He couldn't hit an elephant if it swallowed him- about a man that;s a bad shot

Slicker than owl sh--t!

Busier than a cathouse on nickel night!

Finer than frog hair split 4 ways!

Happier than a puppy with 2 peters!

and my Dad's favorite for when I had to do something I didn't want to do...

Tough times makes monkeys eat red peppers!


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## Scrapy

Russdaddy said:


> or "fair da midlin"



That one is straight forward still yet today. Look up cotton "Grading" terms.


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## NugeForPres

Enough money to burn a wet mule!


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## scbowhunter83

"Boy,you couldnt pour pee out of a boot with the directions wrote on the heel.".   " A hard head makes a soft behind."        " Boy, you weak as pullet pee"          " If we were fishing for poop we wouldn't get a smell"                        "Boy you got 5 minutes to get your tail out that bed and 3 of thems done up."


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## Scrapy

"Salt of the Earth" circa 1860 1870. When salt was withheld and rewarded.  By the Yanks.


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## bulldawgborn

That boy's so low a skeeter wouldn't bite him.  

He aint got no do right in him.

He'd tell a lie where the truth'll fit.

Close enough for gubmint work.

Putcho brain in a hummingbird's butt and he'd fly backwards and suck a mule's nose for morning glory.

When I would ask my uncle what he thought, he'd say "I think all the meat around a hawg's butt is pork." or "I think a gnat could fly from the corner of a dawg's butt to the corner of your mouth before you can say shoo."

Tell ya mommernem Gomer says hay.


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## GA native

Whatever floats your boat.
Any port in a storm.

I ain't paying you to stand there and talk!
Just stand there and be pretty.
Hold on, I'm still figurin.
You look like two monkeys trying to .. a football.

Boy ain't got enough sense to get out of the rain.
That boy ain't right.
Snake in the grass.

You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat. Patches O'houlihan, but it seems appropriate.


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