# Hardest time in my life



## tomtlb66 (Dec 28, 2010)

First off, thank you guys so much for all the prayers you guys have said for me. You mean so much to me. My wife and I are going thru the divorce and our first court date is January 3. What a way to spend the holidays right? I feel bad asking for more prayers fellas, but I need them. I cannot lose my children, I am a good father, and I was a good husband. I know what is right for my kids, and they need to know the Lord Jesus Christ and to be brought up in a good church surrounded by good God fearing Christians, not this modern day version of Christianity.

I need your prayer guys, please pray for me to have peace, and guidance and for me to have my children. Thank you guys so much and God bless.


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## messenger (Dec 28, 2010)

You are in our prayers.


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## lagrangedave (Dec 28, 2010)

prayers sent


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## gtparts (Dec 28, 2010)

Done, my brother!


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## BRIAN1 (Dec 29, 2010)

Prayers sent.


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## Sargent (Dec 29, 2010)

sent


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## HawgWild23 (Dec 29, 2010)

don't feel bad about asking for more prayer that is the why to get things done right. Power of prayer. praying for you and your kids.


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## Paymaster (Dec 29, 2010)

My Prayers for you are on the way. May God Bless.


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## funandgun (Dec 29, 2010)

Done.  May the Lord's will be done.


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## Steve Thompson (Dec 29, 2010)

Prayers sent. Having gone through that, I would advise you to remain friends with her at any cost, , if that's possible.


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## crackerdave (Dec 29, 2010)

Prayer sent,brother.
You have been there for me in some rough times,as have other prayer warriors here.As Christians,we are all in the same Church.

I pray that you and your wife might resolve your differences and stay together,if it be God's will.


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## StriperAddict (Dec 29, 2010)

crackerdave said:


> I pray that you and your wife might resolve your differences and stay together,if it be God's will.



Amen to that, and prayer from here also.


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## Dog Hunter (Dec 29, 2010)

Steve Thompson said:


> Prayers sent. Having gone through that, I would advise you to remain friends with her at any cost, , if that's possible.



I've been in one since feb.  Just remember, your kids are first and foremost.  If at all possible remain friends, take it slow, there is no need to rush.  Make sure each step is the right one, you have the rest of your life to "get on" with your life.  Decisions and actions taken now can influence the future you, your kids and the relationship you each have.  It is a very hard thing to go through, and one I wouldnt wish on my biggest enemy.  God  has a plan.  If you didn't have her in your life, you wouldn't have your kids.


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## Madman (Dec 29, 2010)

Matthew 6:9-13
  “This, then, is how you should pray: 
   “‘Our Father in heaven, 
hallowed be your name, 

Dear God, Creator of heaven and earth, hear the prayers of your children on behalf of your servant tomtlb66.

your kingdom come, 
your will be done, 
on earth as it is in heaven. 

We know that you hate divorce.  Soften the hearts of our brother and his wife.  May they see nothing but your son Jesus Christ when they look at each other.  Protect and guard their children that they will know you in the midst of the storm, that they will feel your grace and peace, that they will never know a time when they were not sure of your love for them. By your word we know that you designed marriage that we would raise Godly children so we give them into your care in this time of strife.

Give us today our daily bread. 

Provide everything our brother and his wife and children need.

And forgive us our debts, 
as we also have forgiven our debtors. 

Forgive them for what they have done to each other and by Your Spirit give them grace towards each other.  

And lead us not into temptation,

Give them the strength and wisdom not to fight and hate, but to give this all over to you. 

but deliver us from the evil one.

By your word we know you have designed one man for one woman for life that they will raise up children to know and love you.  Dear God we pray the our enemy Satan will not be the victor in this.  Protect our brother, his wife and children from the lies Satan spews out.  May they only hear the prayers of your servants on their behalf.  Guard them, guide them, protect them, and keep them. 
We pray these things in the name of your son our Lord, Jesus Christ.
AMEN


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## Ronnie T (Dec 29, 2010)

I've prayed for you and your family's situation.
God bless you brother.


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## EastALHunter (Dec 29, 2010)

*I agree...*



Steve Thompson said:


> Prayers sent. Having gone through that, I would advise you to remain friends with her at any cost, , if that's possible.



but buddy you better watch her like a hawk and consider everything she says as a complete and total lie.  I was with a woman for 18 years and I took the high road in our divorce and due to zero experience with a lawyer I lost my little girl and I'm back in court with a real lawyer but it doesn't look great for my chances.  It's up to God and my lawyer now.


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## EastALHunter (Dec 29, 2010)

*If I can offer one piece of advice...*



tomtlb66 said:


> First off, thank you guys so much for all the prayers you guys have said for me. You mean so much to me. My wife and I are going thru the divorce and our first court date is January 3. What a way to spend the holidays right? I feel bad asking for more prayers fellas, but I need them. I cannot lose my children, I am a good father, and I was a good husband. I know what is right for my kids, and they need to know the Lord Jesus Christ and to be brought up in a good church surrounded by good God fearing Christians, not this modern day version of Christianity.
> 
> I need your prayer guys, please pray for me to have peace, and guidance and for me to have my children. Thank you guys so much and God bless.



Do not go for a cheap lawyer.  The most expensive also are not always the best.  Ask around in town and figure out who is a bulldog and who is just plain tough and good.  I went for a cheap, no-hassle divorce and lost my little girl in the process because my lawyer was incompetent and didn't have things put in the divorce that would ensure that I retained visitation rights.  Because of incompetence (and an evil new husband of hers) I have lost my little girl.  It's enough to drive a strong man insane but I have found that I'm as tough as there comes and I will keep my crap together to 1) One day see my little girl when she's 18 (only 12.5 years to go) and 2) Not let that evil pair take my life from me.

Not trying to scare you just trying to help.  Once my court case is over win or lose, I plan on creating a non-profit resource group for men that need help securing visitation and custody of their children in divorces.  I walked around thinking I had no rights for months until God led me to a person that pointed me to a great lawyer.  Had he been my lawyer in the divorce I wouldn't be in this situation.  My first and best piece of advice is do not go for a cheap lawyer just to get it over - not if there are kids involved.  I thought I could trust this woman after 18 years when she stood in the lawyers office and said I could have visitation - and my dumb *ss lawyer said "Great" and didn't even write anything into the divorce for visitation.  The child was not mine paternally but I had raised her since birth.  The judge was more interested in paternity than anything else and we never even went into his courtroom because the divorce was uncontested.  I've been told that the judge doesn't even fully understand the law in this situation.  Just a dang mess.

Again - my advice is to get a lawyer that ain't cheap but not the most expensive.  You get what you pay for.


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## jcinpc (Dec 30, 2010)

about $5000 is a good middle of the road cost for a good family law attorney. I had in writting from my ex that she agreed to joint custody( they now call it time sharing). When it came to the mediation she realized she doesnt get any $$ when we have joint, she changed her mind. My brother is an attorney and the one I had was from his recommendation, my attorney was better than hers and I have joint and dont pay her a dime. 
So a least my children are being raised in a christian enviroment and go to church every other weekend, with me. I dont approve of her lifestyle but I keep that to myself, be very carefull with the children as they always end up being used by both parents for info on the other, its human nature but its not good.
PRayers sent to you and hope it turns out for the best, also document everything, every day,EVERYTHING. keep a journal. You would be suprised at how handy it can be


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## speedcop (Dec 30, 2010)

praying for you


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## ronpasley (Dec 30, 2010)

I will keep you in my prayers brother


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## Lorri (Jan 1, 2011)

Sorry you are going through this - sorry it is around the holidays - keep your kids first and all the rest will fall in place - keep God number one in your life and everything else will fall in place.

Going through a divorce anytime is hard on everyone - I know I had to deal with it last year but God has plans for you and he will take care of you.

Praying for you and your family.  As everyone said get a good lawyer - I didn't have a good lawyer but I wanted out of the divorce after a year of fighting it so I contacted his lawyer and ask what will it take to get out of the divorce since he was already moved in with his mistress and he was still married. 

God is good to me - I got closer to God as I was losing everything around me and focused on church and he sent me an amazing man that loves God.


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## Meekstro (Jan 2, 2011)

So many strong and courageous people on here..Seeing others recover from this kind of devastation and live fulfilled lives is what has helped me thru some dark days...I pray for all of you going thru this type of tragedy...it only takes one selfish person to destroy alot of lives..so so sad


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## lablover (Feb 28, 2011)

So sorry for this time in your life.  Just keep the kids first and try to remain civil.  Prayers sent.


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