# What's wrong with me...



## turtlebug (Dec 15, 2009)

Last night, I posted a thread, under the same title and wound up deleting it. After much thought, I've decided to repost.

I admitted that I am a very bitter person. I don't have much faith in people anymore and now I know that I have been correct in my feelings. 

I do appreciate most of the PM's and words of encouragement. There truly are some good folks here. Some not so much. 

As I read replies to my thread yesterday, I noticed some folks watching it. Later on, a person whom I have very little to do with, made some accusations and then proceeded to send me a PM letting me know exactly what a horrible person I am. I just want to thank those folks. I appreciate your kicking a person when they're down. That is the very reason I spent all day sobbing my eyes out.

Yep, one person is absolutely correct, the tables are finally turning. Kudos to all the folks who spent so much time scheming, piecing together false information and spending more time worrying about my life rather than keeping an eye in their own backyard. I'm not sure what it is I have that some folks want, but I hope they enjoy it and I certainly hope none of them have recently relocated to a glass house.

I can't remember who it was that asked if I had a Pastor I could talk to. I did, unfortunately, the last time I spoke with him, he wanted to know what I had done to cause my ex husband to turn on me and cause me bodily harm. He suggested it was my fault for not being submissive or obeying my ex. I was probably a better wife to my ex than I have been to my current husband. The day that pastor asked me those questions, was the day I lost faith in the church. I still have faith in God, although I'm having a really hard time finding him right now. I can't see through my anger. 

I don't want sympathy, I wasn't looking for pity. I've made mistakes in my life and have been a rather mean person at times. That's what I was trying to understand, why am I so hateful as of late? I truly don't like people in general. I have no inkling of love for the human race as a whole. I fear for my children growing up in this world. 

I don't like to deal with life and petty people. I don't have the energy to fight for what I believe in or want anymore. I used to be a head strong go-getter. I don't know that person, or where she went. She seems long gone. The person who laughed a lot and enjoyed making others laugh has left the building as well. I don't really care if she comes back either. 

I think I'm pretty much done with internet forums, cyber friends and the like. I have my children and my husband, I don't need anyone else. Friendships are nothing more than grief waiting to happen. I don't know why we set ourselves up for pain. It's dumb on the part of a human, kind of like putting broken glass beside your bed. You know, in the end, it's going to hurt, so why do it? 

I'm taking an indefinite break from things. I don't care to be anywhere other than curled up in my bed. Nothing interests me. Thanks again for the heartfelt replies from a select few. 

If you find yourself reading this and thinking I've lost my mind, you're probably correct. I'm gone to see if I can salvage what's left of it. If you're readin this and thinking you've won, you're right there too, but what did you win?


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## DRB1313 (Dec 15, 2009)

Take care T-bug! We'll keep you lifted up.


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## sinclair1 (Dec 15, 2009)

Dont sweat the small stuff... Its a book I read back when I was feeling alittle to angry about things. I dont know if that book helped, or I just realized life was short and I was going to have fun,enjoy family and the heck with anyone who gets in the way of my journey.


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## The AmBASSaDEER (Dec 15, 2009)

Take care, hope to see you around again someday.


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## Jeff Raines (Dec 15, 2009)

Tbug
don't let what other say or think get you down.Don't let them have control over you


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## Bitteroot (Dec 15, 2009)

Dang Tbug... I never saw this coming.. I haven't been around much... but.... dang!  I hate to see my #1 pie maker go!  Take care bugsy!


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## K80 (Dec 15, 2009)

T-bug I wish you well.  I hope you are able to strengthen your faith in god as that will be how you truly heal.  I also hope that you seek help so that you can salvage what is left.

I have one rule when it comes to dealing with folks.  Everyone has their flaws so learn what each person’s flaws are, that you are associated with, that way when those flaws come out you are not surprised or disappointed.  If you can't live with the flaws of a certain person don't associated with them any longer.

For example, my best friend has become a flake, everytime we have plans to do something especially work around his or my house.  When time to start work he is nowhere to be seen and doesn't answer his phone till the following day but I know how he is and what to expect so we just keep on keep in on and all is good.


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## Ta-ton-ka chips (Dec 15, 2009)

turtlebug said:


> I don't want sympathy, I wasn't looking for pity. I've made mistakes in my life and have been a rather mean person at times. That's what I was trying to understand, why am I so hateful as of late? I truly don't like people in general. I have no inkling of love for the human race as a whole. I fear for my children growing up in this world.



I agree, in general people do suck but the folks here on Woody's are great.  
I heard the girl at the convience store last Thurs complain about being tired of people and their "me, me, me attitude". Kinda shocked me as she's always smiling and upbeat. I felt kind of helpless in talking to her then as all I could do was agree with her


I really hope you start feeling better about things. Why not go out and buy a gift for an underprivileged kid or Toys for Tots - you'll feel better about yourself.


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## JustUs4All (Dec 15, 2009)

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties TBug.  

Other people  are what bring the greatest joy into our lives, but they also bring the greatest sorrow.  Isolation can prevent some of the lows, but it will also take away the highs.

Find yourself then come back to us.  Until then, you will be missed.


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## Dana Young (Dec 15, 2009)

T-bug I don't think I have ever conversed with you before but my heart goes out to you as I have had similar feelings but found out it was depression. I would cry over nothing  a song might triggerit or a hearing about a wounded soilder or even a thought of my grand children. I am not trying to diagnos you but just saying make an appointment with your family Doctor and talk to them about it as this is very serious and as for the pastor he shouldn't have blammed you for anything he should have just listened to you and been a shoulder for you to cry on. I believe that is the best way to help people in times like these is just to be there for them to talk to not offer any advise just listen. If you just need some one to listen just pm me and I will give you my # and you can talk as long as you want and I promise I will not judge you or try to influence you in any way. Remember GOD loves you and I love you as well as all your friends and family. please don't shut everyone out because of a few calus people.
Praying for you
Dana


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## Sargent (Dec 15, 2009)

T-bug,

You are one of the folks that make this place entertaining.  

Illigitimi non carborundum (look it up).

I'll add you to my prayer list.


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## BeenHuntn (Dec 15, 2009)

turtlebug said:


> Last night, I posted a thread, under the same title and wound up deleting it. After much thought, I've decided to repost.
> 
> I admitted that I am a very bitter person. I don't have much faith in people anymore and now I know that I have been correct in my feelings.
> 
> ...



i dont know the whole story but i do know this. whatever ths issue is you can find free Biblical help whenever you want it...

you said you were bitter.... well go here:

http://www.sermonaudio.com/search.a...lse&SpeakerOnly=true&keywordwithin=bitterness

these 2 sermons WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!  assuming you are a Christian...  whatever else may be bothering you, do a search in the main sermon audio website and listen to sermons that will help you to deal with a certain part of your life... and listen to them!!

you have my prayers for you...


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## BRIAN1 (Dec 15, 2009)

No sure what the problem is, but you have my prayers.

Brian1


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## SGADawg (Dec 15, 2009)

Sorry to hear this T'bug.  I always look forward to your posts.  Please don't let 1 poor excuse of a pastor turn you against God and don't let a few insensitive folks turn you against Woody's or people in general.  

I taught school for 30 years and every class had a few jacklegs that were hard to get along with, but the kids I remember all these years later were the good ones and they were by far the majority.

Prayers are lifted up for your spiritual healing.


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## Cobra (Dec 15, 2009)

Dana is right.Now I say that but I can identify exactly where you are as I have been there for the last 2 long years. I trust no one except my wife and choose to avoid people because of the back stabbing and their judgemental views. Laughter is something that is now foreign but maybe one day God will set me back on the right path. Try to control the anger, (I know ,this is tough, I need lessons on this too) but know there are good people out there. Will be praying for you on this end.


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## Paymaster (Dec 15, 2009)

If you decide to read this, know that you are in my Prayers T-Bug! Hope things get better for you.


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## Cobra (Dec 15, 2009)

By the way,NOTHING is wrong with you. Just pushed too hard.


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## dawg2 (Dec 15, 2009)

Dang Tbug, hate to hear that.  If certain people bother you, just stay away from them and ignore them.  Hard to do, but it is the best way to deal with them.  Personally I don't have time for petty, conniving people.


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## georgia357 (Dec 15, 2009)

turtlebug said:


> Later on, a person whom I have very little to do with, made some accusations and then proceeded to send me a PM letting me know exactly what a horrible person I am. I just want to thank those folks. I appreciate your kicking a person when they're down. That is the very reason I spent all day sobbing my eyes out.



I've always enjoyed reading your posts and wish you the best.  I've noticed that their are a few jealous people on this forum, but looks like all forums have them.  Seems like they get joy out of kicking people when their down.  Sure do hope that you will find a way to just ignore people like that.  
Here's praying for the best.  

By the way, there is Nothing wrong with you.


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## HighCotton (Dec 15, 2009)

Tbug--

If you're still on here and reading these posts, that pastor is not exactly a wise one and unfortunately has spewed his ignorance in your direction.

God is the answer, not pastors.

Not all pastors are a venue for His truth.  So trust in God, not in pastors and not the church.

The Bible does teach that the woman (wife) should be submissive to the man (husband)........... BUT, that also assumes that the man is head of the household "as God is also the head of the church" and also assumes the man "loves the woman as Christ loves the church".

In other words, it assumes the marriage is built with God at the center of the relationship.  Anything else, the wife is not expected to be "submissive".

I haven't followed all the posts with you in this issue.  But please don't give up.  Certainly don't give up hope just because of a few mis-informed folks that might be well-intended Christians but nevertheless wrong.  Like I said, but your hope and trust in God, not his "messengers".


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## Mackey (Dec 15, 2009)

Tbug,
I don't know you and was unable to find anything that identified you in your profile. So let me speculate a little here. You are a young lady. Why you are so angry is not so clear to me however.
FRIENDS, let me tell you how many friends I have and why. I can count them on one hand. WHY, because friends are truly hard to come by. Many people who call you friend have an alterier motive for that. It usually consists of what they can get out of YOU. True friends on the other hand Love YOU, nothing else. Notice I said nothing. Your true friends know your faults, and they love you anyway. Don't be bitter, give life your BEST, that's all God asks, why should humans be any better? Just remember,
"Those matter don't care AND those that care don't matter" 
Tbug, I don't know you, but I care about what your dealing with. I don't know if there is anything that I can do to help so let me offer a prayer, if you give this a shot I promise it will help, I know from personal experience. As for you, God told us to beware of the false profits in the last days. You may have met one of them, don't give up yet, seek God's counsel in this matter. It will help.

David


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## hunter_58 (Dec 15, 2009)

put your faith in god with prayer, not people and you wont be disappointed.   people will almost always disappoint you and
prayer is good for whatever bothers you.


good luck


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## Eddy M. (Dec 16, 2009)

pm sent


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## jmfauver (Dec 16, 2009)

Tbug,

Pm sent


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## 7Mag Hunter (Dec 16, 2009)

I'll add a prayer for you as well....Remember, God does have a
plan for us all...It is hard to believe it sometimes with all of life's
challenges, but put your trust in God, ask him for help, and it will
come.....If one door closes, God will show you the way to another...

Relief may not come to you instantly, but it will come, and you WILL
find peace, in GOD..


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## ddd-shooter (Dec 16, 2009)

If you are bitter, forgive those who have hurt you in the past. 

Not easy to do, but required for a full, happy life. 

Praying for laborers to cross your path and help you!


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## dawg2 (Dec 16, 2009)

ddd-shooter said:


> If you are bitter, forgive those who have hurt you in the past.
> 
> Not easy to do, but required for a full, happy life.
> 
> Praying for laborers to cross your path and help you!



Or get away from them


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## Randy (Dec 17, 2009)

T-Bug,
I certainly am not one you probably want to listen to but.....

I was also where you are.  In my case, I brought some of it on myself (that is not the case in your situation).  What I can tell you is God put me through a life/death situation last week in order for me to stop what I was doing and what I was thinking and make me realize just what I really do have, just what I really should be thankful for and why I do not need to sweat the stuff that really does not matter.  Yea, I care what people think about me and in my case I have caused some of them to not think so highly of me.  But I also realize now that friends are necessary in life and while they may get on our nerves and not do what we think or wish they would, they are still important.  I have had prayers from people in the last few days that I thought did not care one bit about me.

But more than even friends is seeing the good in life and not all the bad.  Especially in the last year, it has been hard to come home and listen to the news and hear all the bad stuff or get on Woody's and read some of the stuff that goes on here some time.  But I was shown that LIFE is most important.  Yes we have trials but they can be overcome as long as they do not kill us.

I now feel lucky just to wake up and see another one of God's beautiful days, even if it is a rainy dreary day.  I am sure that as time goes on and life goes on I will forget some of this "awakening" that I have had in this last week, but I hope and pray it does not take another trial like I went through last week to keep me focused on the important things in life and not sweating the small stuff.

Have a great life, live it day to day and appreciated every day you get, and don't sweat it.............it could be worse.


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## southwoodshunter (Dec 17, 2009)

Very well said Randy... I too had times where I couldn't see much good in anyone..and at times I have a select few that remind me why you can't trust everyone.. but you can't not LIVE.. we can't do anything about what everyone else thinks or says about us, we just have to know what we need out of life to make us happy.
There are so many people that don't realize what they do have until it's gone, or almost gone, and sometimes they can save it... and sometimes they can't.
I try my best not to sweat the small stuff, I have been and am traveling a road, I do not wish on my enemies.. But I don't blame anyone for what I have to go thru. finding yourself can be a very good thing sometimes, don't worry about what others think, as long as you feel good about yourself and how you treat others.. the small stuff don't matter. 
I took a step back after going thru losing my son & realized... pretty much there is nothing I can't deal with now, as the quote says " being strong is what you have when there's nothing else..
sometimes if we walked in anothers shoes, we might realize just how thankful we should be for the good friends & family that we do have. healthy kids, good jobs, a marriage, good health yourself are things to be proud & thankful for.
Hope you find some peace somewhere... but realize life is for living.. can't just shut down, cos life won't always be what you think it should be. we make our own way, it's alot more rewarding with good friends & family around to share it.


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## turky93 (Dec 17, 2009)

I don't really know you, but I hate to see anybody in a situation like that. 
Man kind as a whole, has taken a turn for the worse. Seems like everyday, there are more and more people that just don't even care about how they make others feel. 
I often find myself thinking about when it will end. It can't possibly go on forever, getting worse by the day. 
So where's the breaking point? 
I guess we won't know until it happens.
Even though we're surrounded by this negativity, I think it's important that the select few us stay strong, and be the people God wants us to be.


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## TNGIRL (Dec 17, 2009)

Lea, not sure there's anything I can add to Randy and SWH's posts that is relevent, they were very insightful and poignant but will share some of my "newfound" wisdom with you. We humans go thru life trying to achieve our dreams and goals in life.  I myself have stepped on friends and families toes to atain those spots. We all do at times, it's not something I'm proud of nor will I ever repeat myself with them. I've recognized my failures and forgave myself for them. I don't presume to know what's in your heart, nor the hearts of the ones you have concerns with, but you might. It's been 2 days since your first posting. By now you've cried and slept and carried on with life in a protected situation. At least I hope you have. I always feel better after a good cry and sleep. The next day my mind is clearer and I have buildt up strength again. You are such a strong and capable woman, I know you have buildt up strength now as well. Look over your situation now, with clearer head, is there something you can do now to make anything better for anyone (yourself included)? If so, then do it, but only if it's a positive step. Anything negative will wind you back in bed crying at some point. Hurts you worse. If there's nothing you can honestly do or say to change and improve the situation then just drop it. Move on with life, continue doing the daily things with your family and friends you normally do. The pieces of lifes puzzle fall into place easily enough. Be honest with yourself and demand honesty from others. Prayer helps tremendously, and forgiveness. I always think to myself, I cannot ask for forgiveness unless first I am willing to give it myself. And I ask for forgiveness daily. I don't think I've said anything here that you don't already know in your head. But maybe knowing there's encouragement behind my words have helped.


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## rjcruiser (Dec 17, 2009)

turtlebug said:


> I still have faith in God, although I'm having a really hard time finding him right now. I can't see through my anger.



If you want to find God, read His Word.  Open the Bible and start reading.  You'll find encouragement there.  Prayers sent for you and your family.


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## Woody's Janitor (Dec 17, 2009)

Prayers are sent. Keep looking upward!


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## MsFit (Dec 17, 2009)

TNGIRL said:


> Lea, not sure there's anything I can add to Randy and SWH's posts that is relevent, they were very insightful and poignant but will share some of my "newfound" wisdom with you. We humans go thru life trying to achieve our dreams and goals in life.  I myself have stepped on friends and families toes to atain those spots. We all do at times, it's not something I'm proud of nor will I ever repeat myself with them. I've recognized my failures and forgave myself for them. I don't presume to know what's in your heart, nor the hearts of the ones you have concerns with, but you might. It's been 2 days since your first posting. By now you've cried and slept and carried on with life in a protected situation. At least I hope you have. I always feel better after a good cry and sleep. The next day my mind is clearer and I have buildt up strength again. You are such a strong and capable woman, I know you have buildt up strength now as well. Look over your situation now, with clearer head, is there something you can do now to make anything better for anyone (yourself included)? If so, then do it, but only if it's a positive step. Anything negative will wind you back in bed crying at some point. Hurts you worse. If there's nothing you can honestly do or say to change and improve the situation then just drop it. Move on with life, continue doing the daily things with your family and friends you normally do. The pieces of lifes puzzle fall into place easily enough. Be honest with yourself and demand honesty from others. Prayer helps tremendously, and forgiveness. I always think to myself, I cannot ask for forgiveness unless first I am willing to give it myself. And I ask for forgiveness daily. I don't think I've said anything here that you don't already know in your head. But maybe knowing there's encouragement behind my words have helped.



Well said TNGIRL.  
Turtlebug, you are an awesome and strong woman.  You got knocked around a little, but get back up where you belong.  Prayers sent for you my friend!


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## Elbow (Dec 17, 2009)

TBug,
You are a very strong woman.  At least you had the guts to post this.  I have had some backlashing on here, but I just figure they are jealous. I'm young, beautiful, (Wait, I gotta look in the mirror, oh yeah! and down right a hot dame!)
Doesn't bother me anymore. I dare someone to come at me.  I'll make a grown man cry...trust me.  I know who I trust on here.  I know the people who know me well enough, care about me the most.  Don't worry about what ONE person said.  They are alone in their words.  
You have been working yourself hard, like most American mothers, you are doing too much this time of year.  Women in general, put their physical and mental health in a jar on a shelf.  They then put all their time and energy into their kids and husbands.  But what happened to that jar? Oop's now where did I put it?
Ya dig?  As someone I know would say to me.
Girl, just get on with life....live!!
Love ya lots,
El


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## raggedy ann (Dec 18, 2009)

TBug,
As others have also said, you don't know me but...Randy, SWH, TNgirl, and Elbow said it well, as did others.  I too had given up on society once upon a time.  I still have rough times but it's mostly good now.  I got focused on me and said bump the others.  As long as I know I am not intentionally hurting others, the heck with what others say and think.  I have 4 good friends.  2 are my age and 2 are younger (I worked with them).  It is important to find someone to talk with who you know will not repeat, judge, etc. what you say.  Find a doctor, therapist, another pastor, someone.  I don't know anyone on here and would be happy to be that sounding board.  I will PM you.  I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it.  I hope you are still checking the site.


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## Jeffriesw (Dec 18, 2009)

Lord have Mercy T-Bug, I will keep you in my Prayers...


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## GODZHUNTER77 (Dec 18, 2009)

"Because iniquity shall abound, the love (agape) of many shall wax cold". There are so many jerks and mean people around us today, that is very uncommon to meet people who are actually good, or who have a pure heart. My prayer is to love everyone in spite of themselves. I have flaws just like they do, and the devil talks to us through people everyday. So does God, if we are listening. Dont let jerks make your love for God grow cold.

As far as the so called Pastor who gave you such bad information, this guy isnt working for God. The Pharisees are alive and well today. But, so is Jesus !

The enemy would like to keep you from having fellowship with other believers so he can kill you spiritually. Find others who are like minded and/or a christian support group. They are out there.

Most of all, NEVER GIVE UP ON GOD!

Prayer sent !


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## Gnix (Dec 22, 2009)

Tbug just hang in there, trust God, turn it over to him and ask for help, people are mean, somtimes the devel uses people as tools for himself against us, the firt thing the devel does is steal our joy, then not much matters, he can get to us much easier, preachers are human, some are misleaders, some are men of God and are good, don't worry about what others says, the bible says before we worry about the speack in our brothers eye for us to get the plank out of ours, they too should do the same, past is past, pray and seek God for help, he will be there for you, praying for you, I don't know you but God does, been down some rough roads myself, with God all things are possible, don't let the devel kill steal and destroy, thats his mission.
Gene


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## bouymarker (Dec 23, 2009)

keep on trying, we all have our doubts and knocks. nothing anyone hasnt gone through that cant be fixed. we all deal with problems differently.


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## gun444 (Dec 24, 2009)

You say you still have faith in God? Well His shoulders are big enough to take on your problems, even with all He has to contend with these days. Just turn it all over to Him, have faith that He will deal with it. He came through for me at MY darkest hour, even when I denied Him. Now I just let Him guide me, and take all MY troubles off my shoulders. Just try Him?


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## THREEJAYS (Dec 24, 2009)

Tbug you are in my prayers


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## gtparts (Dec 24, 2009)

T-bug,

I know you don't know me from Adam's house cat, but what you are experiencing may be a combination of bad circumstances (events) and a hormonal imbalance that is playing with your head. Even mild depression or mood swings should not be brushed off. See your doctor (preferably female gyn.) and unload what's going on. While there may be a significant spiritual problem to be dealt with, if you are on an emotional rollercoaster, you need to address that also.

My prayers go out to you and yours. Best wishes for a glorious Christmas and joyous New Year.


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## Goatwoman (Dec 26, 2009)

*Hey*

T-Bug, You have always been there for me girl so , hang in there .God is the answer and He will show you the way.  I will put you on prayer list. PM me if you need to talk .

God Bless You,
GW


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## BkBigkid (Dec 26, 2009)

Lea, 

I just reading this and have no clue as to what has happened nor do I care to know. Hang in there and things will get better. If you need to step away from some tings do so. You are the only one that knows what is best for you. No one on here Knows everything. 

Pull those Bows out and remember all the good times and folks that you have met Here. 

Prayers sent for ya. 
Take care!


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## 01Foreman400 (Dec 28, 2009)

Prayers sent.


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## Jeff1969 (Jan 4, 2010)

TurtleBug, I hope the new year is finding you well and with peace. I don't know the circumstances behind your feelings, but I do know that life is too short to be bothered by what a few people may say. Ignore the dumb stuff and keep the good. All the time I've been on here, I don't recall ever seeing you post anything negative towards anyone.....I can't imagine anything you may have done to warrant someone attacking you on here. You know who your true friends from GON are. Stick with them and just ignore the rest. 

You have my prayers for a Happy New Year and I look forward to reading your posts in the future. 

God Bless.


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## alligood729 (Jan 4, 2010)

*hey Tbug,*

One thing you can be sure of, I love you just like one of own sisters. The little time we have spent together, only proved to me that true friends are a treasure, and when one is found, hang on for dear life. I will surely be praying for you, Jerome and the kids. You ARE one of the friends that I treasure....hang in there girl!!!

PS, some folks are just idiots, you can't blame them for that, they can't help it...


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## dominantpredator (Jan 4, 2010)

Tbug, I can tell you first hand, it ain't about everyone else. It is about you. Most on here have mentioned praying for you. I know for certain that when you are at your lowest, Jesus will pick you up. You have to really understand we have very little control over anything, anybody, or any situation. If you believe Jesus is YOUR saviour, you will find peace. I promise. Jesus is how I survive!


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