# Husbands and Wives



## Hunting Teacher (Jan 26, 2011)

First let me preface this post by saying am I in no way condemning anyone who is divorced. We all make mistakes/sin and sometimes "Christians" like to sit in judgement of our brothers and deem their sins to be worse than ours. Some did not have any desire to be divorced but had it thrust on them.
After reading a post on a different thread it amazes me our country even manages a 50% marriage rate. 
As Christian men I sure hope our actions and feelings towards our wives don't match with what seems to be the norm socially. 
Of course we know that God has to take top priority in our married lives for both our wives and us. Secondly I urge my young married brothers to make it your spiritual mission to make your wife your best friend!! If she is not petition God that he will change both your hearts until this takes place. I'm  sure a marriage could survive without being best friends, but assure you if your wife is really your best friend and God is both your focus that your marriage won't just survive it will thrive. There is no better gift that you can provide for your childrens lives than a solid Christian marriage of their parents!
It amazes me how many young husbands can quote Ephesians 5:22-23. Yet how few can quote God's command in Ephsians 5:25.
If you are a young or newly married Christian man surround yourself with Godly married men that can help you, hold you accountable, and pray with you. 
  Being the Godly leader of your family God wants and the Christian man your wife deserves is worth every bit of "sacrifice" required.
God bless our Christian marriages. They are the only hope our nation has!


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## Ronnie T (Jan 26, 2011)

Right on!!!!

Marriage can be a vessell filled with God, or it can be a self-imposed prison.

Like you said:  God bless our Christian marriages.


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## Lowjack (Jan 27, 2011)

Going For my 41 Year Anniversary, Praise The Lord !


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## Ronnie T (Jan 27, 2011)

Lowjack said:


> Going For my 41 Year Anniversary, Praise The Lord !



Me to.


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## Hunting Teacher (Jan 27, 2011)

Ronnie T said:


> Me to.


I pray that you guys have young men smart enough to seek you out and learn from your years of investment in your God led marriages! Congratulations!
This will be the big 25 for us!


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## dawg2 (Jan 27, 2011)

It all starts at home.  Your kids will generally treat their spouses as their parents treated each other.


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## formula1 (Jan 27, 2011)

*Re:*

I must be younger than most of you!  This year will be number 28 for us.


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## Randy (Jan 27, 2011)

A timely post.

Notbeing able to sleep, I was up at 4:00 am watch TV.  There was a pastor talking about marriage.  He was all over women "holding back" on their husbands.  He said that is one reason for marriage,  for women to keep us satisfied to keep us from sinning.  I found the sermon odd.  Never heard a pastor speak directly on that before.


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## centerpin fan (Jan 27, 2011)

Randy said:


> A timely post.
> 
> Notbeing able to sleep, I was up at 4:00 am watch TV.  There was a pastor talking about marriage.  He was all over women "holding back" on their husbands.  He said that is one reason for marriage,  for women to keep us satisfied to keep us from sinning.  I found the sermon odd.  Never heard a pastor speak directly on that before.



I've heard it a lot, but never on TV.


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## Dog Hunter (Jan 27, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> First let me preface this post by saying am I in no way condemning anyone who is divorced. We all make mistakes/sin and sometimes "Christians" like to sit in judgement of our brothers and deem their sins to be worse than ours. Some did not have any desire to be divorced but had it thrust on them.
> After reading a post on a different thread it amazes me our country even manages a 50% marriage rate.
> As Christian men I sure hope our actions and feelings towards our wives don't match with what seems to be the norm socially.
> Of course we know that God has to take top priority in our married lives for both our wives and us. Secondly I urge my young married brothers to make it your spiritual mission to make your wife your best friend!! If she is not petition God that he will change both your hearts until this takes place. I'm  sure a marriage could survive without being best friends, but assure you if your wife is really your best friend and God is both your focus that your marriage won't just survive it will thrive. There is no better gift that you can provide for your childrens lives than a solid Christian marriage of their parents!
> ...



Wow.  We just started a bible study last night "Fireproofing your Marriage" and these verses were some of the study.  Very good verses.  It cant help my present marriage (or whats left), but it will be stuff I can carry into another marriage if I so desire one day.


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## Jeffriesw (Jan 27, 2011)

dawg2 said:


> It all starts at home.  Your kids will generally treat their spouses as their parents treated each other.



X's 2


Just passed 27 years last November 25 for the wife and I


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## sea trout (Jan 27, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> Being the Godly leader of your family God wants and the Christian man your wife deserves is worth every bit of "sacrifice" required.



great post!!!
i quoted my favorite part! 
i beleive we as married men have to be leaders! and take resposibility if anyone is unhappy in the house and do whatever is needed to make our houses happy! 
i'm tired of hearing grown men with unhappy houses blameing everything on the wife!! i say!!! make your wife happy first...then you will be happy!!!! hold hands and thank GOD for everything you are capable of doing...and do it!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## thedeacon (Jan 27, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> First let me preface this post by saying am I in no way condemning anyone who is divorced. We all make mistakes/sin and sometimes "Christians" like to sit in judgement of our brothers and deem their sins to be worse than ours. Some did not have any desire to be divorced but had it thrust on them.
> After reading a post on a different thread it amazes me our country even manages a 50% marriage rate.
> As Christian men I sure hope our actions and feelings towards our wives don't match with what seems to be the norm socially.
> Of course we know that God has to take top priority in our married lives for both our wives and us. Secondly I urge my young married brothers to make it your spiritual mission to make your wife your best friend!! If she is not petition God that he will change both your hearts until this takes place. I'm  sure a marriage could survive without being best friends, but assure you if your wife is really your best friend and God is both your focus that your marriage won't just survive it will thrive. There is no better gift that you can provide for your childrens lives than a solid Christian marriage of their parents!
> ...



Good advice.

I have past the 45 year mark. I haven't been married all my life, it just seems like I have.


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## huntmore (Jan 27, 2011)

My mother and father were married 47 years. It was not the strength of my dad who kept the family together it was mom. kissing your wifes but to make her happy will most often end up badly. My mom years ago said the biggest reason for divorce was women are getting to lazy.
 I think it doesn't matter the sex of the person, but the amount of God they have in their heart. I do not know many women today who would have put up with what my mother did.
I will never forget the day we found out my mom had cancer. I found my father sitting in the chapel in the hospital. I sat next to him and he said James I never knew how weak of a person I am and how strong your mother is, I don't how I will make it without her.


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## Ronnie T (Jan 27, 2011)

thedeacon said:


> Good advice.
> 
> I have past the 45 year mark. I haven't been married all my life, it just seems like I have.



You are obviously a very old person.


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## thedeacon (Jan 28, 2011)

Ronnie T said:


> You are obviously a very old person.



I am 65 but my back is 83. I don't know who had it before me but he treated it real bad.


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## Hunting Teacher (Jan 28, 2011)

huntmore said:


> My mother and father were married 47 years. It was not the strength of my dad who kept the family together it was mom. kissing your wifes but to make her happy will most often end up badly. My mom years ago said the biggest reason for divorce was women are getting to lazy.
> I think it doesn't matter the sex of the person, but the amount of God they have in their heart. I do not know many women today who would have put up with what my mother did.
> I will never forget the day we found out my mom had cancer. I found my father sitting in the chapel in the hospital. I sat next to him and he said James I never knew how weak of a person I am and how strong your mother is, I don't how I will make it without her.


I understand exactly where you are coming from. My mother is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She if also one of the most Christ honoring, sacfificial people I've ever known. Some of the stuff my dad pulled that she hung in there through required a heart totally focused on the Father. 
But because of her sacrifice her three sons would walk through the fires of he11 itself for her! We are who we are today because she refused to dishonor God and break her marriage covenant that she made to Him. If only I can be half the person that my Mother is!! 
Praise you Lord for a Godly mother that always taught her sons to love You and focus on Your will and not our own by example.


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## Ronnie T (Jan 28, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> I understand exactly where you are coming from. My mother is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She if also one of the most Christ honoring, sacfificial people I've ever known. Some of the stuff my dad pulled that she hung in there through required a heart totally focused on the Father.
> But because of her sacrifice her three sons would walk through the fires of he11 itself for her! We are who we are today because she refused to dishonor God and break her marriage covenant that she made to Him. If only I can be half the person that my Mother is!!
> Praise you Lord for a Godly mother that always taught her sons to love You and focus on Your will and not our own by example.



I think Huntmore described many of our families and upbringing.


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## Ronnie T (Jan 28, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> I understand exactly where you are coming from. My mother is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She if also one of the most Christ honoring, sacfificial people I've ever known. Some of the stuff my dad pulled that she hung in there through required a heart totally focused on the Father.
> But because of her sacrifice her three sons would walk through the fires of he11 itself for her! We are who we are today because she refused to dishonor God and break her marriage covenant that she made to Him. If only I can be half the person that my Mother is!!
> Praise you Lord for a Godly mother that always taught her sons to love You and focus on Your will and not our own by example.



I think Huntmore described many of our families and upbringing.


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## huntmore (Jan 28, 2011)

Hunting Teacher said:


> I understand exactly where you are coming from. My mother is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She if also one of the most Christ honoring, sacfificial people I've ever known. Some of the stuff my dad pulled that she hung in there through required a heart totally focused on the Father.
> But because of her sacrifice her three sons would walk through the fires of he11 itself for her! We are who we are today because she refused to dishonor God and break her marriage covenant that she made to Him. If only I can be half the person that my Mother is!!
> Praise you Lord for a Godly mother that always taught her sons to love You and focus on Your will and not our own by example.



I hear ya. My siblings and I would also have done anything for my mother. I two pray all the time to be half the person she was. 
Your last line put tears in my eyes. I have argued on this site with lots of people about the merets of showing people by action how to be christian.  Not to say that scripture should not be a part of it. But I know for a fact that showing people how a christian acts, goes alot further than telling someone how they should act.


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## Amend2nd (Jan 29, 2011)

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.  
- Bertrand Russell


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## Ronnie T (Jan 29, 2011)

huntmore said:


> I hear ya. My siblings and I would also have done anything for my mother. I two pray all the time to be half the person she was.
> Your last line put tears in my eyes. I have argued on this site with lots of people about the merets of showing people by action how to be christian.  Not to say that scripture should not be a part of it. But I know for a fact that showing people how a christian acts, goes alot further than telling someone how they should act.



You're right.  We often think "Bible knowledge" is the final hurtle in being a good Christian.  But being able to "live" it is left out of too many people's lives.
We really need to be teaching our young men how to be good fathers and husbands.  They quite often don't learn it from home.  And we need to be very good examples.
It's an important thing to think about.
Thanks.


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## crackerdave (Jan 30, 2011)

One of the best threads I've ever read.Thank you!


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## Ronnie T (Jan 30, 2011)

K9, seriously man you almost brought me to tears there.

And of course you're right.
Our wives deserve 30 years of happiness rather than barely holding it together.


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## crackerdave (Jan 31, 2011)

True,Ronnie. I can't count how many times I've heard somebody say "We're trying to make it work - for the kid's sakes."


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## lablover (Feb 2, 2011)

Wish you guys coulda help my ex before he became the ex.  Great thread, enjoyed it.


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## Ronnie T (Feb 2, 2011)

I could not count the number of married people who have confessed to me that they would give anything if their spouse were a Christian also.

Some advice:  Don't allow your children to date ANYONE who isn't a Christian.


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## Hunting Teacher (Feb 3, 2011)

Ronnie T said:


> I could not count the number of married people who have confessed to me that they would give anything if their spouse were a Christian also.
> 
> Some advice:  Don't allow your children to date ANYONE who isn't a Christian.


Great point Ronnie. My wife's mother always told her,"You can't help who you fall in love with but you can control who you are dating." We've taught our girls the same thing. 
I've also"preached" to them to remember who affirms them. No boy can do it. Only God can truly affirm who and what you are!


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## Cutem all Jack (Feb 9, 2011)

You know not to be a downer here but i am 28 years old and i have dated alot of women and even married a preachers daughter (got divorced) but i honestly do not beleive there are many women out there that have the strenght and detication that my mother and grandmother did. I believe that my generation has been raised to be selfish and that we dont know the true meaning of Sticking something out. We have always been given our way and for somone who has been looking for that kind of devotion in a woman its kind of discouraging. It almost seems like whats the point.


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## Crubear (Feb 9, 2011)

Over the years I've heard quite a few men say from the pulpit that wives are to submit to their husbands, and ignore the rest.

So, I explained to my daughter, using Eph 5:25, that if (when you are married) your husband tells you to submit, then bring this up. Then tell his sorry butt that you'll submit when he walks on water, is arrested, beaten, scourged, crucified, and rises from the dead.

In other words, if as a husband you won't act as a loving spiritual head don't be suprised when your wife follows your example.


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## Cutem all Jack (Feb 9, 2011)

Thank you again for your honesty.[/QUOTE]

No problem, I had a Godly father and mother that did take the time to teach me different and i thank god for them. 

Another topic to touch on, I have always been taught that you should not live with a woman that you are not married to and i still believe this strongly. But i can see where someone who has been through a divorce or been the child in a divorce growing up would not care about getting married because of the harmful affects of a divorce. It really gets you to thinking " Why get married?" 
We want to find someone to spend the next 50 years with but the sad reality is i dont know of a single couple my age that i can truely say are happy with there relationship. With that being said none of them have allowed Jesus in there relationship. And for the people who did give the relationship to him and still got a divorce they, if not careful can harbor a bittness that will eat at you till it tears you down.  
Like i said not trying to be a downer just explaining what i have witnessed thorugh my experiences and through friends of mine.


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## Crubear (Feb 10, 2011)

Psst, hey Jack, it's OK to live with a female relative, isn't it? My daughter's tip-toeing around nervous and quiet right now


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## Paymaster (Feb 10, 2011)

Very Good Thread! My Dad is a preacher and my Mom a Prayer Warrior. They Prayed long and hard for me. Always had me in Church. For that I am Blessed. I Prayed that God would send me a wife that would go with me and help me in my walk with God. He Blessed me with that answered Prayer as well. We will be married 39 years in December. We took our kids to Church much like my parents did me. We allowed them to find their way to Christ without any pressure placed on them by us. Just the Preached word from our Pastor,the Holy Spirit and lots of Prayers. It has worked. All three of my children are saved as are their spouses. I am Blessed beyond measure. Thanks for God's Grace!

Grace: Unmerited Favor!


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## decoyed (Feb 10, 2011)

These kinds of posts are so easy to make when things have been just peachy between you and the woman you married.  I can promise that you can pray till you are blue in the face and still not have a marriage come close to being saved.  So many "instructions" and guides on a happy marriage but always from folks who have no idea what others have done to try and make it work.


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## huntmore (Feb 10, 2011)

K9
Why do you think that alot of preachers kids don't follow their parents path? Considering they must spend alot of time at Church and around alot of praying and Gospel teaching. I have known a few and they seem to be messed up instead of Christian. I have heard this from alot of other people as well.
 Oh and please don't talk about my spelling or my English I had a hard time with it in school.


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## Dixie Dawg (Feb 11, 2011)

Lowjack said:


> Going For my 41 Year Anniversary, Praise The Lord !





Ronnie T said:


> Me to.




I haven't even been alive that long yet  

Congratulations to both of you!


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## Crubear (Feb 11, 2011)

K9, in my reading of the Bible I've never found a reference to an actual happy marriage. I feel that the reason is because everyone is different one set of guidelines won't work for every one.

And in order to have any kind of joyful relationship it takes two interested and committed individuals. (celebrating 25 years of happilly ever aftering)


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## Ronnie T (Feb 11, 2011)

Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Whatever the above verse speaks of, it is not describing an absolute outcome for every family.

*During the days that verse was written, King David had some horribly ungodly son's that did some horrible things.

During a historical look at Israel after it divided into the Northern and Southern kingdom, there were some very godly kings who gave themselves and Israel to serving God.  But they had children that were as ungodly as their father's had been godly.

The message of the gospel is for moms and dads to raise their children to the glory of God.
But I wouldn't blame every pea-brained, ungodly young adult on his/her parents.


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## Paymaster (Feb 11, 2011)

Ronnie T said:


> Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
> 
> The message of the gospel is for moms and dads to raise their children to the glory of God.
> But I wouldn't blame every pea-brained, ungodly young adult on his/her parents.



Amen Ronnie.

Thanks for the kind words K9!

But,to be sure, I am careful to give My Lord all the Praise for where I am in my life. All the Praise.


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## huntmore (Feb 11, 2011)

**k9** said:


> huntmore,
> 
> Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
> 
> ...



Good grief did you have a bad day or something. I just asked a simple question. Like I said I have heard more bad stories than good ones on this subject and simply asked your opinion. The success of the first poster was already stated so I didn't feel the need to redo his post. I do not know any success stories so I am not going to make them up. The bug up your behind makes you think that I was suggesting that preachers should not take their kids to Church or do anything else Christain with them and that is your problem not mine. My mom took us to Church all the time. When we where not at Church, she told us about God and taught us how to be Christian. I am almost positive she discussed God with us as much if not more than alot of preachers. so I have never thought parenst teaching kids about God was what was sending them from the Church.


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## Ronnie T (Feb 11, 2011)

KJV Lexicon

*Train up*  chanak  (khaw-nak')
to narrow; figuratively, to initiate or discipline -- dedicate, train up.
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*a child*  na`ar  (nah'-ar)
babe, boy, child, damsel (from the margin), lad, servant, young (man).
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*in the way*  derek  (deh'-rek)
a road (as trodden); figuratively, a course of life or mode of action, often adverb
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*he should go*  peh  (peh)
the mouth (as the means of blowing), whether literal or figurative (particularly speech); specifically edge, portion or side; adverbially (with preposition) according to
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*and when he is old*  zaqen  (zaw-kane')
to be old -- aged man, be (wax) old (man).
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*he will not depart*  cuwr  (soor)
to turn off (literal or figurative)
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*from it*

.


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## huntmore (Feb 12, 2011)

As far as I know, none of our priests have children so this does not apply to me. So I guess I am around success stories.


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## thedeacon (Feb 12, 2011)

My wife of 45 years is the glue that held our family togather. She is almost 3 years older than me and when we decided to get married many people told me it wasn't a good idea. She was and still the most spiritual person I have ever met and one of the most knowledgeable bible scholers. I am a lucky man in every sense of the word.

She taught me how to be a good husband and a good father. 

I joke a lot and often she is the subject of my jokes. I don't take it so far that makes her uncomfortable. I said that to say this, I owe her more than any other person on earth. I take every oppertunity to let people know the kind of person she is. We laugh togather, cry togather, pray togather and praise God togather.

I was not raised in any church. Until I met her I fished every Sunday that I could. She showed me what being a Christian really means and what life is all about. There have been tough times but the good times far outweigh them.

I was the first in our family to become a christian. Most of our family is now Christians and in an indirect sense she is responsible for most of them. My brother as some of you know is a minister, (not just a preacher) a minister. 

Every day that I live I thank God for her and wonder how she has lived with me for 45 years. She is the most unlazy person I have ever met. 

She is my wife, my lover, my partner, my sister in Christ, my hero, the Matriarch of her side of the family, she is my best friend. 

When I think about it, most christian men owe their sucess to their wife. 

I thank God for her every day.


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## Cutem all Jack (Feb 14, 2011)

huntmore said:


> K9
> Why do you think that alot of preachers kids don't follow their parents path? Considering they must spend alot of time at Church and around alot of praying and Gospel teaching. I have known a few and they seem to be messed up instead of Christian. I have heard this from alot of other people as well.
> Oh and please don't talk about my spelling or my English I had a hard time with it in school.



I can tell you from experience that my ex who was a preachers daughter was had a very gentle spirit about her and was a "good person" so to speak. But from being in church 24/7 and because of her being 20 when we got married she had never experienced anything else or sown any wild oats. So when things got tough in our relationship just like every, she ran to the urges of sowing the wild oats. Deep down she does know whats right and i pray for the day that she gets back where she knows she should be but until then its in Gods hands. 
Also you have got to remember that just because a man calls himself a preacher and has a following does not mean that he is a man of God. You will know them by there fruits and it sometimes takes time to recognize there fruits. Alot of so called pastors are master manipulators. Not trying to affend anybody but it is the truth as I have witnnessed it on numerous times.


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## hunter_58 (Feb 14, 2011)

I'm calling my mother NOW !


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## huntmore (Feb 15, 2011)

Interesting K9 will not address my question.


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## huntmore (Feb 15, 2011)

hunter_58 said:


> I'm calling my mother NOW !



Very good and call her everyweek. She will love to hear from you.


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## mtnwoman (Feb 15, 2011)

Ronnie T said:


> I think Huntmore described many of our families and upbringing.



Yeah me, too. My daddy was the backbone of the family in many ways, but I'm glad he went first, emotionally he would've not lasted long without her.


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## mtnwoman (Feb 15, 2011)

Paymaster said:


> Amen Ronnie.
> 
> Thanks for the kind words K9!
> 
> But,to be sure, I am careful to give My Lord all the Praise for where I am in my life. All the Praise.



If I send you some money, will you send me some of that BBQ? Yummmy....I'm tired of lickin my lips over it.....it would feel good on my lips.....LOL


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## Hunting Teacher (Feb 16, 2011)

thedeacon said:


> My wife of 45 years is the glue that held our family togather. She is almost 3 years older than me and when we decided to get married many people told me it wasn't a good idea. She was and still the most spiritual person I have ever met and one of the most knowledgeable bible scholers. I am a lucky man in every sense of the word.
> 
> She taught me how to be a good husband and a good father.
> 
> ...



Great post Deacon! 
I'm right there with you. My wife has made me a much better Christian man and spiritual leader of our family than I'd have ever been! I praise God for her every day and tell everyone I know what she means to me!


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## Paymaster (Feb 16, 2011)

mtnwoman said:


> If I send you some money, will you send me some of that BBQ? Yummmy....I'm tired of lickin my lips over it.....it would feel good on my lips.....LOL



Thanks. That is a sweet compliment!


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