# Funerals



## 1gr8bldr (Aug 4, 2013)

Strange thought crossed my mind a couple days ago. Was wondering??? Does everyone across the US stop on the side of the road as a funeral procession goes by... or is this just a tradition from the area I am from in NC?


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## Dr. Strangelove (Aug 4, 2013)

In my experience NC, SC, GA - yes if in a rural area, not so much in more urban areas anymore.

Fl - depends, it's mostly a Yankee state

Don't know about any other states.


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## gemcgrew (Aug 4, 2013)

Still see it here in Texas but not as often as I use to. Some will get out of the vehicle and place their hand over their heart.


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## Ronnie T (Aug 4, 2013)

North Florida (redneck Riviera), everyone usually pulls over.  In heavy traffic Yankees and heathens don't pull over, but everyone else does.
I've never seen a cop pull anyone over for not stopping.
.


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## JB0704 (Aug 4, 2013)

Lots of folks pull over most places I've seen.  But, every time I have been in a funeral, somebody does something stupid.  That's north and south.


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## panfried0419 (Aug 4, 2013)

Always seen it done in Fla and Ga


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## bigreddwon (Aug 4, 2013)

Ronnie T said:


> North Florida (redneck Riviera), everyone usually pulls over.  In heavy traffic Yankees and heathens don't pull over, but everyone else does.
> I've never seen a cop pull anyone over for not stopping.
> .


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## bullethead (Aug 4, 2013)

I do it and have seen it done here in Pa. I will take my cap off as a procession passes if I am not in a vehicle. Though I cannot say it is done more often that not.....might be 50/50 in these parts.

Somehow, I guess because I am a heathen Yankee, I suspect my respect is not as valid.


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## TripleXBullies (Aug 5, 2013)

I have no reason to be disrespectful to a funeral procession... If there is an intersection people should probably stop to let them through... Yet, if you can't tell whether it's done or not, no big deal.. I feel like stopping on the side of the road where you're not impeding the procession is completely unnecessary. Yet another socially created moral.


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## JB0704 (Aug 5, 2013)

bullethead said:


> Somehow, I guess because I am a heathen Yankee, I suspect my respect is not as valid.



I've been in a funeral or two up there myself....seems folks are no more disrespectul than down here.  Most show courtesy, a few don't.  I don't think it's a yankee thing....it's just whether or not folks have been taught manners.


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## bullethead (Aug 5, 2013)

JB0704 said:


> I've been in a funeral or two up there myself....seems folks are no more disrespectul than down here.  Most show courtesy, a few don't.  I don't think it's a yankee thing....it's just whether or not folks have been taught manners.



Yep, but you don't have to convince me, RonnieT might be happy or unhappy to know though.


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## pnome (Aug 5, 2013)

JB0704 said:


> I've been in a funeral or two up there myself....seems folks are no more disrespectul than down here.  Most show courtesy, a few don't.  I don't think it's a yankee thing...*.it's just whether or not folks have been taught manners*.



Or that particular manner.  I'll bet a lot just haven't been taught that.


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## 1gr8bldr (Aug 5, 2013)

TripleXBullies said:


> I have no reason to be disrespectful to a funeral procession... If there is an intersection people should probably stop to let them through... Yet, if you can't tell whether it's done or not, no big deal.. I feel like stopping on the side of the road where you're not impeding the procession is *completely unnecessary. *Yet another socially created moral.


 I have to be honest here, I feel the same way. It would not comfort me in the least if anyone stopped for  my funeral procession. Life goes on. If one of my closest family members were that one being buried, I still don't think it would comfort me. It is a respectable thing to do but I'm surprised that this tradition still exist. I have always stopped, but always for the wrong reason. Because I felt I had to


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## TripleXBullies (Aug 5, 2013)

1gr8bldr said:


> I have to be honest here, I feel the same way. It would not comfort me in the least if anyone stopped for  my funeral procession. Life goes on. If one of my closest family members were that one being buried, I still don't think it would comfort me. It is a respectable thing to do but I'm surprised that this tradition still exist. I have always stopped, but always for the wrong reason. Because I felt I had to



Last time I stopped, it was because my girlfriend guilted me in to it. Again, I'll stop if it's an intersection that the procession is going through or if I can't go any further because everyone else has stopped. I'm not being disrespectful, it's just not necessary. I wouldn't think t hat a person didn't have manners if they didn't stop like that for any funeral. 

Yes, life goes on... for everyone else at least...


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## Dog Hunter (Aug 5, 2013)

Yes.  Stop everytime.


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## StriperrHunterr (Aug 5, 2013)

Look at it from another point of view. You're not stopping to pay respect to those who passed. You're stopping, from a practical sense, to allow the family members driving in a grieved and emotional state to do so without having to worry about anyone else on the road. Their minds are taxed enough just being at the funeral. You're showing them the same respect you'd like to have for yourself when you have a family member who passes and you're grief stricken and not 100% functional. 

I don't find it odd that it's more common here in the South, manners were important here not all that long ago.


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## TripleXBullies (Aug 5, 2013)

StripeRR HunteRR said:


> Look at it from another point of view. You're not stopping to pay respect to those who passed. You're stopping, from a practical sense, to allow the family members driving in a grieved and emotional state to do so without having to worry about anyone else on the road. Their minds are taxed enough just being at the funeral. You're showing them the same respect you'd like to have for yourself when you have a family member who passes and you're grief stricken and not 100% functional.
> 
> I don't find it odd that it's more common here in the South, manners were important here not all that long ago.



Manners... I think it's funny that southerners (which I am) think that northerners don't have manners. They are DIFFERENT... it's not rudeness, it's DIFFERENT. Manners are subjective!! Just like morals.

When I am not at 100% functional, like when I drink alcohol, I stay out of the driver's seat, I don't expect everyone else to get out of my way...


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## ambush80 (Aug 5, 2013)

I'll yield to a procession so that they don't become separated.  That's all.


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## JB0704 (Aug 5, 2013)

ambush80 said:


> I'll yield to a procession so that they don't become separated.  That's all.



You made a post a few days or weeks back that had a little impact on me.....about a picture that made you feel as if we are all on the same thin raft together. It was one of those posts that made me stop and think about things, my perspective of others, and particularly my lack of empathy from time to time.

The reason I think it's good manners to pause for a funeral has more to do with respect for each other, as humans, than anything else.  It gives us an opportunity to show courtesy when there are no rules indicating we must do otherwise.  For just a minute, we can pull over for complete strangers and let them handle their business.....something we all have to go through at on point or another.  I have been in too many funeral processions the last few years.  And I promise you, seeing how some people act has made me think about all the times I got frustrated at having to pull over.....I saw one dude cut off the parents of a dead infant child a few months ago, directly behind the hearse.  I haven't been that mad in a very long time.  The driver had no way of knowing who was dead, and who was following, but that's the point.....just let 'em go, handle their business.  We are fortunate to not be in the line.  We can wait a little while.

That being said, I have been very specific that I be creamated, and my ashes dumped on the side of the road on the way home, so nobody is delayed, and can get to a BBQ quicker


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## Ronnie T (Aug 5, 2013)

Ronnie T said:


> North Florida (redneck Riviera), everyone usually pulls over.  In heavy traffic Yankees and heathens don't pull over, but everyone else does.
> I've never seen a cop pull anyone over for not stopping.
> .





bigreddwon said:


>



That was you.  

I shudda known.


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## Ronnie T (Aug 5, 2013)

1gr8bldr said:


> I have to be honest here, I feel the same way. It would not comfort me in the least if anyone stopped for  my funeral procession. Life goes on. If one of my closest family members were that one being buried, I still don't think it would comfort me. It is a respectable thing to do but I'm surprised that this tradition still exist. I have always stopped, but always for the wrong reason. Because I felt I had to



I'm also surprised.
There are better ways.  To the funeral home, then to the church, then to the cemetery.  Man, it's kinda like dragging a lunker fish around showing it off.
I think it's mostly tradition..... and funeral homes seeking to make money by being more involved by doing more planning.
Me, I'll be having a 'graveside only' with no parade.


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## JB0704 (Aug 5, 2013)

Ronnie T said:


> I think it's mostly tradition..... and funeral homes seeking to make money by being more involved by doing more planning.



Yep.  Cremation.....put my ashes in a coffee can (idea stolen from the Big Lebowski), dump me on the side of the road.  No expensive funerals.  Nobody sitting through an awkward service where everybody is doing their best to make everybody cry (I'm a softy, and generally have to fight back tears at just about every funeral).  I don't want that for them.....nor do I want my descendants to feel like they have to visit my grave from time to time.  Instead, a good drainage ditch somewhere will do....as vague as possible.

Only thing I'm specific about is the coffee can, and they have to thump the bottom when they dump me out.  I've leave my BBQ rub recipe for my son, and let him do the cooking.


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## Ronnie T (Aug 5, 2013)

I think we're all just having some fun with this subject.  
I think those who are respectful of others will usually pull over.
Those who are not respectful of others might only do it when "forced" into it by other drivers around him/her.

The family of the deceased aren't affected..... they are way up front in the procession.


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## ambush80 (Aug 6, 2013)

JB0704 said:


> You made a post a few days or weeks back that had a little impact on me.....about a picture that made you feel as if we are all on the same thin raft together. It was one of those posts that made me stop and think about things, my perspective of others, and particularly my lack of empathy from time to time.
> 
> The reason I think it's good manners to pause for a funeral has more to do with respect for each other, as humans, than anything else.  It gives us an opportunity to show courtesy when there are no rules indicating we must do otherwise.  For just a minute, we can pull over for complete strangers and let them handle their business.....something we all have to go through at on point or another.  I have been in too many funeral processions the last few years.  And I promise you, seeing how some people act has made me think about all the times I got frustrated at having to pull over.....I saw one dude cut off the parents of a dead infant child a few months ago, directly behind the hearse.  I haven't been that mad in a very long time.  The driver had no way of knowing who was dead, and who was following, but that's the point.....just let 'em go, handle their business.  We are fortunate to not be in the line.  We can wait a little while.
> 
> That being said, I have been very specific that I be creamated, and my ashes dumped on the side of the road on the way home, so nobody is delayed, and can get to a BBQ quicker



Human life is miraculous and precious but not equally so.  I don't know how that person got dead. In my neighborhood, they might have gotten that way for beating up a neighborhood watchman with a giant can of watermelon drink. 

Respect is earned.  I yield to reduce traffic problems.


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## JB0704 (Aug 6, 2013)

ambush80 said:


> Human life is miraculous and precious but not equally so.  I don't know how that person got dead. In my neighborhood, they might have gotten that way for beating up a neighborhood watchman with a giant can of watermelon drink.
> 
> Respect is earned.  I yield to reduce traffic problems.



Yes.  But, the point was that it has nothing to do with the dead person, or how they died.  It is more about being decent to other human beings for the sake of being decent.  Not for the sake of the dead.


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## ambush80 (Aug 6, 2013)

JB0704 said:


> Yes.  But, the point was that it has nothing to do with the dead person, or how they died.  It is more about being decent to other human beings for the sake of being decent.  Not for the sake of the dead.




I think we're on the same page.  The decent thing for all concerned is to reduce traffic problems for the living.


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## stringmusic (Aug 6, 2013)

TripleXBullies said:


> When I am not at 100% functional, like when I drink alcohol, I stay out of the driver's seat, I don't expect everyone else to get out of my way...


If they murdered the one in the hearst, I wouldn't stop for them either.

The alcohol is self inflicted, other people can't help that their family member died.


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## JB0704 (Aug 6, 2013)

stringmusic said:


> If they murdered the one in the hearst, I wouldn't stop for them either.


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