# How do you know when it's time? (letting a dog go)



## egomaniac247

Man I'm not sure what to do with my old lab.  She's been in my life since college days.   She's 15 years old and has been a tremendously loyal companion.  

She has cancer for sure - we had tumors removed from her hips & rear hock about 5 years ago and she has a big subdermal bump the size of a childs fist on her rib cage and a few subdermal ones you can feel in her chest.  

I haven't quite figured out if in the past year she's stopped listening to me when I tell her to come inside or if she just flat out can't hear me anymore.    She drives my wife nuts by walking away from her when she tells her to come in but I honestly don't know if she can hear us anymore.

She has cataracts in both eyes but she's had those since she was 5 years old...her hind two legs and hips are atrophied and she's really weak in them...she groans loudly when she lays down.....and the past 2 days she's puked up her food a few hours after eating.

But she's frisky as heck when you play with her or give her any amount of attention.  So I can't say she lies around unless we let her.   If I let her stay outside, she'd roam the neighborhood as if she had no health issues at all.  She might get tired sooner than later but she wouldn't look like a crippled dog.

Last night I noticed that her "nether region" is swole up like she's in heat but she's fixed so it must either be an infection or cancer has spread there.  

If I take her to the vet they're going to want me to put her on all kinds of stuff but she's a 15 year old dog.....at a certain point it's more about just pain management than trying to get them to recover....

I'm torn on 3 things:

1.  What a loyal, gentle creature she has been
2.   She acts so frisky and full of life when I'm around her
3.  She has so many health issues


Anyone else been through this?  I hate to sound insenstive by saying "she's a 15 year old dog, how much money do I put into her" while she's been such a good companion.


----------



## smokey30725

Man, I've been there too many times to count. The dogs in our family are more like family members than they are animals. My own rule is when the pain starts to overshadow daily life, it's time to take that last journey. I had to have two put down a few years ago within 48 hours of each other because they got into sugarless gum in my wife's purse and by the time we discovered it, the damage was done. It had already started destroying their livers. I had the older one put down on a Sunday morning and by Monday after noon had to put the other one down. The hardest part was that the second one stood up and was wagging her tail when I got to the vet to meet my wife. She was failing all over her internal organs, but still was excited to see me. That was brutal. The vet gave the shot and I told her and my wife to leave the room. I spent the last few minutes just holding my dog. I wish I could give you better advice, but don't put it off too long. We owe it to our pets to do right by them, and sometimes that means letting go when they are suffering too much. My prayers are with you.


----------



## j_seph

smokey30725 said:


> Man, I've been there too many times to count. The dogs in our family are more like family members than they are animals. My own rule is when the pain starts to overshadow daily life, it's time to take that last journey. I had to have two put down a few years ago within 48 hours of each other because they got into sugarless gum in my wife's purse and by the time we discovered it, the damage was done. It had already started destroying their livers. I had the older one put down on a Sunday morning and by Monday after noon had to put the other one down. The hardest part was that the second one stood up and was wagging her tail when I got to the vet to meet my wife. She was failing all over her internal organs, but still was excited to see me. That was brutal. The vet gave the shot and I told her and my wife to leave the room. I spent the last few minutes just holding my dog. I wish I could give you better advice, but don't put it off too long. We owe it to our pets to do right by them, and sometimes that means letting go when they are suffering too much. My prayers are with you.


Brother sorry for that loss, that was a heavy story to read.


----------



## sinclair1

I am there now. Our jack russell is 15, full of tumors and can't hear. We will go until her quality of life goes. She is still meeting us at the door and engaged in what's going on. 
I have to carry her up the stairs every time she goes outside, but as long as she chases squirrels when she sees one and doesn't have pain, we will keep going.


----------



## king killer delete

Yes many times and it aint easy. I have owned many a good dog and yes even some very good cats. My family just went through what you are going through now. We had a cat that I picked up of the side of the road when he was just a baby and he was a part of our family for 14 years . This cat was like a dog, he was loyal and he spent time with everybody in our family.  I did everything I could to save him. I would never have thought that I would have spent thousands of dollars on trying to keep a cat alive. Finally he had a heart attack and died. My family was heart broken. The day after he died we went out to eat and we went into pet smart and we found another cat. At first I was worried about him not being a part of the family but he has come around. He is not the same but he is going to do well in our family. I know it is tuff but at some point you are going to  have to let your buddy go. You will never forget this dog. I have always said that God only gives us a few really great dogs and it sounds like have one of those fine dogs that everybody wants and never seem to get. It will be hard and you will miss your buddy, but there is another dog out there for you. You may find him in the pound , on the side of the road or in a litter of pups that you will look at.  But it will be hard but you must not let your buddy suffer. Good Luck!


----------



## Joe Overby

When the bad days outnumber the good...and not a moment before.


----------



## GAGE

That is a tough one. My dog Hunter in my avatar died the day before I had our last vet appointment scheduled.  Although I wept like a child after coming home and finding him already gone, I am happy I did not have to make that trip, because I do not know for sure that I could have. Good luck, and you are your buddy are in my thoughts.


----------



## smokey30725

j_seph said:


> Brother sorry for that loss, that was a heavy story to read.



It was a rough couple of days. My daughter was only 4 and cried when I came home after the vet, she said "daddy, why did you have to kill our doggies?" I lost it and just had to have a few minutes to cry it out before I could explain it to her.


----------



## georgia_home

Mine was about 14, and stopped eating and Drinking. Those eyes cut right through me on the way to the vet. She was almost her old self in the car, but as soon as she had to stand and walk, you could see it again.

Great dog.


----------



## georgia_home

I'd swear you were in the with us.



smokey30725 said:


> ...
> The vet gave the shot and I told her ... to leave the room. I spent the last few minutes just holding my dog.
> ..


----------



## dport7

Tears in my eyes now as I read this. My Krissy dog was 17, had her from a pup. Cancer was eating her, she was bleeding from a tumor
at her tail. Doc said $3000.00 and couldn't guarantee anything.
I had to make the decision, I did and it was best for her, I took her home for the weekend, brought her back Monday morn and put her
down. 
The shot they gave was very gentle, She just laid her head in my lap
and went to sleep

I feel your pain, I'm crying for you now, I cried for her then.

I hope the best for you and yours, through this tough time


----------



## thc_clubPres

When they won't come running to a cheese wrapper opening.


----------



## PappyHoel

smokey30725 said:


> It was a rough couple of days. My daughter was only 4 and cried when I came home after the vet, she said "daddy, why did you have to kill our doggies?" I lost it and just had to have a few minutes to cry it out before I could explain it to her.



That just choked me up.  I have a 14 year old lab right now that has trouble getting around and will sometimes fall over while walking.  She's able right now but she has arthritis bad.  I also think her hearing and sight is going.  I have 2 little girls, 5 and 3.  Bailey has been in the family since they can remember.  It's going to be a really hard day when the time comes.


----------



## thc_clubPres

when our family Golden was on her last day 8 years ago , I called my wife home from work to meet me and while my 13 year old daughter and 11 year old son were at school we took her to comfort her on her way.


My daughter was upset when she got home and didn't get to say her goodbyes.  I kinda felt awful and here I was trying to keep her from that experience at young age.






PappyHoel said:


> That just choked me up.  I have a 14 year old lab right now that has trouble getting around and will sometimes fall over while walking.  She's able right now but she has arthritis bad.  I also think her hearing and sight is going.  I have 2 little girls, 5 and 3.  Bailey has been in the family since they can remember.  It's going to be a really hard day when the time comes.


----------



## egomaniac247

thc_clubPres said:


> When they won't come running to a cheese wrapper opening.



In the sadness and seriousness of the situation, this made me smile, so thank you 

My buddy still perks up when she hears me get a piece of ice out of the freezer for her (my dog likes ice cubes as much as a treat!)

Someone earlier in the thread said "when the bad days outweigh the good days" and I don't think we are there yet.


----------



## smokey30725

I wish you many more days with your pal. Just know when the time does come, you've got a network of brothers here who will grieve with you.


----------



## Cobra

We lost our best friend Jo Jo yesterday, the one in the avatar. We had him almost 15 years. Loyal to the end. Me and that old dog ran many miles over the years until my knees couldn't and he would struggle to keep up so we both retired. No replacement ever for him. Reading the line about the cheese wrapper made me really smile, as he would tear the house down for cheese and Ice Cream. How blessed we were for him to choose us to hang out with. Goodbye old friend. Thanks for all those wonderful memories.


----------



## deermaster13

Reading thru these post, and all that lost these family members I'm sorry. We just got our newest dog 2 years ago after going 10 years with out one. We put the last one down after having him for 13 years( cancer). Dang I started getting chocked up just reading thru these post. When we decided to put Preacher down it was like someone else said his bad days were more than his good ones.


----------



## Beagler282

Cancer is a beast. I kept one alive as long as I could on medicine just to keep him feeling well. After many times of having to put them down I live by the fact that once they start turning their food down then it's time. Watching them suffer is never easy.


----------



## Horns

Reading this lets me know that I am not the only one that has been in this position. We had to put down our Jack Russell 2 years ago on December 2nd. She was the best dog in the world for over 14 years and started having seizures. The day before the vet trip she had 4. It was terrible. But the worst part for me was the fact that I made the decision. She raised many litters of pups and never lost one. She raised my kids. She was the best. Now I am facing it again as we have 4 senior dogs that are in various degrees of decline.


----------



## revrandyf

I just went through this (last Monday) with my best friend.  He was my constant companion for 14 1/2 years.  But when his quality of life (pain) got too bad, we had to do it.  Very difficult decision.  My heart goes out to you.  Sometimes you have to love them enough to let them go.


----------



## Maydog

I am at the decision making stage right now and it is killing me, trying to keep from crying as I type this. May has been that dog that all of you describe, loyal,obedient and loving like most Labs.
She got were she was knuckling on one leg and after an expensive trip to the University of Florida we discovered she had some type of lesions in her spinal cord, probably lymphoma. Tried radiation with no success. It's been the most trying thing I've been through watching a vibrant dog's body give out while her mind is still all there. Her being there mentally is making this decision very tough.


----------



## Redbow

I can feel your pain. My old Black Lab became so arthritic I had to have her put down at age 13. She could have lived for a while longer but letting her suffer was not the kind thing for her nor I..My heart was broken long before I took her to the Vet's office for our final visit..

You will know when its time for your Dog to depart it won't be easy but making the right decision for your best friend is the correct thing to do..


----------



## PappyHoel

PappyHoel said:


> That just choked me up.  I have a 14 year old lab right now that has trouble getting around and will sometimes fall over while walking.  She's able right now but she has arthritis bad.  I also think her hearing and sight is going.  I have 2 little girls, 5 and 3.  Bailey has been in the family since they can remember.  It's going to be a really hard day when the time comes.



My girls are 6 and 4 now. I had to let old Bailey go Sunday morning at 230am.  My wife begged me to end her pain.  I couldn't do it and we went to the 24 hr vet.  Bailey started to have seizures and was barking in pain for a few hours.  Her back was stiff as a board.  I just hate that we may have waited too long.  

Bailey was 16 years old almost to the day.  I don't want anymore dogs because I don't want to have to do that again.  The only blessing about all this is that my little girls were spending the night with their grandparents.


----------



## sinclair1

PappyHoel said:


> My girls are 6 and 4 now. I had to let old Bailey go Sunday morning at 230am.  My wife begged me to end her pain.  I couldn't do it and we went to the 24 hr vet.  Bailey started to have seizures and was barking in pain for a few hours.  Her back was stiff as a board.  I just hate that we may have waited too long.
> 
> Bailey was 16 years old almost to the day.  I don't want anymore dogs because I don't want to have to do that again.  The only blessing about all this is that my little girls were spending the night with their grandparents.


Sorry to hear that, the Jack I posted about in this thread has also passed this year. Almost 16 as well.


----------



## PappyHoel

sinclair1 said:


> Sorry to hear that, the Jack I posted about in this thread has also passed this year. Almost 16 as well.



Sux...  Sorry to hear it.


----------



## Stroker

When faced with this difficult decision ask you vet if they do house calls. I want mine in their home when the time comes, not in some cold, sterile room at the vets.


----------



## egomaniac247

Even if your vet does not do it, there are multiple services online that do it.  Just google "pet euthanasia at home" and you'll get several results.

I'm the original poster of this thread and that's how we let Winnie go.  I called a service and it was incredibly worth it.  I was skeptical but the lady that showed up was as compassionate as she could be, asked me if I wanted time alone with the dog, asked me if I was ready, and stroked my dogs fur the whole time that the medicine was administered.

Just very very compassionate and not clinical at all.  That's how it should be for these loyal friends of ours.  My Winnie passed away on her bed in my garage, not some sterile vets office where dogs are stressed out.


----------



## north_ga fireman

When I was a teenager I had 2 redbone pups and when they passed I cried like a baby. Said I would ever be close or have pets again well fast forward 30 years and I have 3 year old lab that's my best friend and like him more than most folk no joke


----------



## Baroque Brass

egomaniac247 said:


> Even if your vet does not do it, there are multiple services online that do it.  Just google "pet euthanasia at home" and you'll get several results.
> 
> I'm the original poster of this thread and that's how we let Winnie go.  I called a service and it was incredibly worth it.  I was skeptical but the lady that showed up was as compassionate as she could be, asked me if I wanted time alone with the dog, asked me if I was ready, and stroked my dogs fur the whole time that the medicine was administered.
> 
> Just very very compassionate and not clinical at all.  That's how it should be for these loyal friends of ours.  My Winnie passed away on her bed in my garage, not some sterile vets office where dogs are stressed out.



It's sounds like you're describing Jennifer Proctor (I guess it's ok to put her name here). Anyway, she came to our house on a cold, rainy Saturday afternoon after working all day and couldn't have been any more compassionate and caring. Our dog was dieing of cancer and she put him to rest on his bed in front of the fireplace. Since he was a big dog she even offered to help bury him but we declined to have some time with him. Jennifer is the best!!


----------



## mguthrie

We just went through this last Sunday with my girlfriend's dog JD (Jennifer's dog). She had him since he was 6 weeks old. He was a 14 yr old American bulldog. I've had and known many dogs over the years but this one was special. Jenn asked a couple days before she made the decision how do you decide when the last day is. After 2 days of no food and urinating on himself she knew it was time. I've lost 2 labs over the last few years but this one has been hard. I thought enough of this dog to have him cremated. RIP JD


----------



## Katalee

my jack russel died today (buddy)  he was about 17 ,he was in his bed, got up walked towards the door and dell over dead. I Am site going to  miss that dog.
m


----------



## mguthrie

Sorry to here that katalee.


----------



## cramer

We had to say goodbye to Tobie, our infamous Woodle ,Friday after14 years.
The only captive Woodle known to man.
Half Wolf, Half Poodle ( that's what I always told folks he was )
He was an amazing companion and friend.
It's been a difficult weekend.


----------



## Cmp1

cramer said:


> We had to say goodbye to Tobie, our infamous Woodle ,Friday after14 years.
> The only captive Woodle known to man.
> Half Wolf, Half Poodle ( that's what I always told folks he was )
> He was an amazing companion and friend.
> It's been a difficult weekend.



Sorry for your loss,,,, it's rough,,,, I know it doesn't help,,,, but been there,,,, done that,,,, have got multiple dogs now,,,, am going to have to face it again in the future,,,, not looking forward to it,,,,


----------



## mguthrie

Sorry to here that Cramer


----------



## Jennifer Gilbert

I went thru the same thing with my American bulldog JD. He suffered from heart worms. One morning we got up and he couldn't get up. That's when I learned about selfless love. I was keeping him around for me, and not what was best for him ! I had him put down that morning . It was the hardest thing I ever did ?


----------



## Twiggbuster

Had to say goodbye to my beloved 16 yr old beagle Maddie this past Saturday. Been tough times. You just sorta know when it's time. Little signs add up. Be observant at all times. Our friends can't tell us they are suffering . In the las month,. She didn't want to walk to end of driveway anymore. Tail wagging was not there . Urinating in her bed. Lately,I noticed her walking into corners sometimes which led me to believe it's the dogs way of looking for a final resting place. We kept her inside last year or so. She still had an appetite but not much else. I looked here for support in days leading up and want to thank all for sharing their stories. Still dealing with a huge loss


----------



## Hooked On Quack

Twiggbuster said:


> Had to say goodbye to my beloved 16 yr old beagle Maddie this past Saturday. Been tough times. You just sorta know when it's time. Little signs add up. Be observant at all times. Our friends can't tell us they are suffering . In the las month,. She didn't want to walk to end of driveway anymore. Tail wagging was not there . Urinating in her bed. Lately,I noticed her walking into corners sometimes which led me to believe it's the dogs way of looking for a final resting place. We kept her inside last year or so. She still had an appetite but not much else. I looked here for support in days leading up and want to thank all for sharing their stories. Still dealing with a huge loss




So sorry brother.


----------



## mattech

I came in this forum to start a thread just like this. I have a 13 year old black lab mix. Got her as a 3 month old pup.she has been a wonderful dog and was around before my kids. We have had to get tumors removed from her hips the last few years and she struggles to go down the stairs. She now has started to urinate everywhere she sits. She just lays around, won't play fetch anymore, but still gets under you if you have food. I mentioned something to my wife about it being time and just got stared at. Not sure if it is quite time yet, but I know it's close and don't want her to suffer. Really struggling with this decision right now.


----------



## Twiggbuster

It's a tough decision for sure.
One none of us want face but have to take all into consideration to decide what is right.
Our little friends deserve it.


----------



## Robert28

I had to put my chocolate lab of 11 years down last May. Almost 3 weeks ago I had to put my 12 year old English bulldog down. The kick in the pants was they fell on the exact same date, exactly a year apart (May 15). Regret has been eating at me for a year about my chocolate lab and now it's double with my English bulldog. I second guess myself every day even though I knew there was nothing more I could do, I still hate myself though. Nothing anyone can say makes you feel better, I even hate being at my house because that's when it's the hardest. I probably got 4 hours sleep total in 2 weeks after my bulldog, I drank a lot of beer and just sat in my chair in silence for hours upon hours. I kept telling myself I wish I was dead, wasn't even afraid of dying anymore, just take me out of this world and let me go be with my dogs. I was literally begging God. I was in a bad place. You do a lot of thinking and second guessing yourself though, I know that. Did I do everything I could, why didn't I catch it sooner and maybe he could have been saved even though he was really old for a bulldog, I want to punch my vet in the face, why does God put all this grief on me like he's singling me out, etc. It's weird but I haven't cried much since my bulldog passed, but it's eating me alive inside. Maybe it's too much to cry, who knows. 

It's true what they say, dogs give you some of the best days of your life and one of the absolute worst days of your life.


----------



## pine nut

I practiced Vet med for forty years and if I were to counsel you I would say to sit down for a few minutes with your dog and just talk out loud to them.  Think about the quality of life they have, and if you can honestly answer that they are still enjoying life instead of enduring life then I'd say not yet, but if they are enduring it, then it is time.  Not eating or drinking means it is also time if there does not seem to be a "fixable" problem.  I coached parents to level and be truthful with the children... lie to a kid and they'll never trust you again.  However a very common mistake I saw a lot and tried to head off when discussing the euthanasia problem with kids is to say something like this, "We're going to have to put Butch to sleep  because he is in pain and we can't help him, ok?"  NEVER ask a kid that "OK?" They will feel the entire weight of that giving their permission!!!  This is an adult decision, and so the adults must be clear and not ask for a child to agree.  They will accept it, your decision, even though they wont' like it.  It is not easy to do that so think and prepare for avoiding that "OK?" thing ahead of time.  Many parents especially these days seem to need their kid's permission to do anything, but it is a mistake.
Lastly keep in mind that an animal only shows pain when they cannot help it.  Everyone tries to act "natural" as if nothing is wrong and particularly in the animal world, because when you are small and there are bigger things around like predators you/they want to look fit.  Yep we do it too.  Predators look for easy pickin's so to speak.
Deciding when is always a difficult job for owners and Vets too.  It is the pitts for everyone concerned, but the Bible in the 1st chapter of Genesis tells us that man is given dominion over the animals.  That means to me that we are as responsible for not doing the things we should for them as we are for caring for them.  It is a double edged sword, this dominion,  We do not want them to suffer, but we don't want to make that tough decision either.  I believe with all my heart that death is not the worst thing that can happen to us, or to them, and I also believe that euthanasia is the last KIND thing you can do for your pet.  You certainly are not doing it for your self, and that hole in your heart this process will create, tells you that is true.  You are in effect saying, "I will hurt and miss you, but I have to let you go so you won't hurt anymore."  Sign to papers and do it when your conversation with them says it's time.  By all means, even if you and everybody present is going to blubber, stay with them until it is over.  Believe me, I cried over a many a patient I had  cared for too.  They trust you to do the right thing and you need to stay to help them be assured that you are with them.  I believe it helps you to accept your loss  and comforts you to know you stuck by their side.  You are doing something for them they can't do for themselves, and you are setting them free from their misery.  I sincerely hope this helps all of you when that time comes, because for most everyone it is THE most difficult decision of your life.  God Bless  all of you.  Wm. M. Knight D.V.M. retired


----------



## pine nut

I see a lot of suffering in some posts above mine, and those are common feelings for everyone, but who among us has not been comforted by our dog when we were in the pitts?  Mine always sense when I'm depressed and will try to lift my spirits or just lay beside me and help me with their presence.  Think about this, please.  If they are that way in life, they will not want you to suffer from their passing!  I happen to believe there is a heaven for dogs too.  Now I don't know for sure and the only reference I can think of is the Bible says the lion and the lamb will lie down together, so I choose to believe like that.  Now stay with me a bit here, and lets just say there is and that your dog is watchin you suffer from there.  I'll bet he still doesn't want you to suffer, and just maybe he feels like he failed you.  If he had done his job well you'd want another dog!  I want to tell you that we as humans have an unlimited supply of love, plenty to share (!) and I learned that all of my dogs are still in my heart sitting side by side!  I can go back in my mind and remember every one of them and enjoy their presence.  No, I cant have them back but I can smile believing I will have them around me again just as I will have loved ones again too.  All that to say this:  There never has been a pup that couldn't squirm up in your lap, lick your face, and not make a smile come to your face.  Go get another dog!!!!  There are thousands that will love you and you love them!  Love is unlimited and they need it as badly as you do.  Their antics and joy will serve to remind you daily of the ones that couldn't stay , but never the less loved you so.  Yes something will happen to all of them sooner or later, but answer this... Where are you going to get what they give you with all their heart?  Where? Now I'm crying tooo.  God be with you.


----------

