# Need help please



## 4x4 (Sep 25, 2012)

Ok...lets start from the beginning. 2 major things I wanted to change in my life as a new years resolution is to quit smoking and be faithful to a church. Janurary 4th was the last cigerette I have(and will ever)had, and started attending a great church.  February 5th 2012 is when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. May 5th my wife and I was baptized at our church(Riverside Baptist in Colbert). Since then I attend Band of Brothers, which is all the men in our church come together once a month to fellowship and worship with each other, its great and I really enjoy it. I attend the 11am service on Sundays.

So here is my problem. Like most folks on this forum, I absolutly love to deer hunt, especially from bowseason until the end of November. My wife wants us to start going to Sunday School which starts at 9:30am. No problem...except this. My work schedule only allows me to get in the woods ONE morning a week, and yes that is on Sundays. So I get to hunt(if im lucky and the Wife hasnt planned anything)MAYBE 3 times a week, Saturday evening, Sunday morning and Sunday evening. Outside of that im grinding that clock for 65 hours a week. My wife is giving me this guilt trip cause I want to hunt and its not that I dont want to go to Sunday School, its just that I hardly get to do what I enjoy the most, bowhunting. I am out of the woods and into my Sunday outfit, and at Church by 10:55 every sunday...I take that back I did miss opening weekend. She is saying im putting deer hunting before God, which I dont think I am, God knows my passion, just as he knows all of yours. This year alone I have been blessed beyond belief in my outdoors career, I was able to shoot my first duck, my first wild boar, my first turkey, and even called in a turkey for my 67 yr old Dad. I give it all to the Lord, he provided on them particular hunts and gave me memories tht is burned in my soul forever. 
Guys, help me please. What should I do?? How can I explain to my wife that I am not putting hunting first instead of attending Sunday school and worshiping the Lord?? I love my wife as much as one can love, and I hate arguements between us. She knew my passion to hunt(especially bowhunting)waaay before we even got engaged. After the rut is over, you wont be able to keep me from attending Sunday School. Every time she askes me I calmly tell her after the rut I will go, thats when she gets defensive saying im putting hunting first before God, then the arguement begins. I really need some advise. I try explaining it to her, but i might as well be .
What would you guys do!!????? 
Thanks for taking the time to read this, God Bless.


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## humdandy (Sep 25, 2012)

I feel closer to God being outdoors than in church.  

See if that works?


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## Milkman (Sep 25, 2012)

Attending worship services with others is not the only way you can worship. My mother is no longer able to attend services.  Is she no longer close to God?  I can tell you without a doubt, if she aint gonna be in heaven there aint no use in you and me trying.

For some strange reason I feel closest to God and praise and worhip most when I am driving down the road. 

God knows your heart............. nobody else but you and him do.


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## NE GA Pappy (Sep 25, 2012)

why don't you go to SS one Sunday, and Sunday evening service the next?  I know that won't put you in the woods as much as you would like, but it might promote peace in your home. 

I don't think God judges us on a checklist. ie, "Whoops, he missed another church service."  God judges us on our hearts desire and our attitude.  It has always been attitude with Him.

Your wife probably doesn't consider hunting a major issue and to her, it is like you are trying to avoid church.  Maybe you could get her to understand it is a enjoyable stress relief for you, much like a vacation would be for her, only you take it on Sunday mornings until 10 am or so..

Pappy


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## 4x4 (Sep 25, 2012)

Milkman said:


> Attending worship services with others is not the only way you can worship. My mother is no longer able to attend services.  Is she no longer close to God?  I can tell you without a doubt, if she aint gonna be in heaven there aint no use in you and me trying.
> 
> For some strange reason I feel closest to God and praise and worhip most when I am driving down the road.
> 
> God knows your heart............. nobody else but you and him do.



I believe she does think church is the only way to worship. Guys if you deer or turkey hunt, there is nothing like being in the woods before the sun rises. The most important event in human history occured at sunrise, the Resurrection  of Jesus Christ. I think about that every morning, especially watching and listening to the woods waking up at sunrise. Thanking him for everything he has done for me, asking Him for His guidance through my life. I am a newborn in my faith, there is still so much more I want to learn about our Savior and how to live my life through the Word of God. I have alot of changes in my life I need to work on, im not perfect, we all sin, we sin because we are human. I probably sin more than anyone who is reading this, but I am trying my best to work on it and live my life how God wants me to, how we all need to live so we all can be sure of our salvation. 

My wife and I just dont see eye to eye on who/where/when to worship, like you said Milkman you can worship anywhere, anytime. I just have to convince my Wife you dont have to be in SS or the 11am service to worship and praise God. Every time something good happens on my life, I thank God. When something bad happens, I believe you show your true colors how you respond to that particular situation, that, and the devil is trying to get me to not attend church, or blame God for something bad that may of happened. At first when my wife started saying its wrong of me to put hunting first, I got defensive. Within time I have been trying to calmly explain to her I dont have to go to SS to be saved, thats between me and God. Everybodys relationship is different, not 2 is the same I believe.


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## Keebs (Sep 25, 2012)

Have you ever taken her with you?


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## 4x4 (Sep 25, 2012)

Keebs said:


> Have you ever taken her with you?



Yes, and never again!!! Lol Bless her heart she couldnt stay still 5 min it was like hunting with a child!! She wonders how I sit for 4 hours at a time...I tel her PATIENCE!!! A virtue she clearly does not posses...


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## Keebs (Sep 25, 2012)

4x4offroad99 said:


> Yes, and never again!!! Lol Bless her heart she couldnt stay still 5 min it was like hunting with a child!! She wonders how I sit for 4 hours at a time...I tel her PATIENCE!!! A virtue she clearly does not posses...


Oh well, then there is no way to make her understand it from a hunter's perspective............ good luck!
I'm like some of the others, I'm closer to my Father in Heaven when I'm deer hunting than I have been in church, you just can NOT deny his majestic being when you see nature first hand!


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## 4x4 (Sep 25, 2012)

Keebs said:


> Oh well, then there is no way to make her understand it from a hunter's perspective............ good luck!
> I'm like some of the others, I'm closer to my Father in Heaven when I'm deer hunting than I have been in church, you just can NOT deny his majestic being when you see nature first hand!



You absolutly, positively took the words right out of my mouth. Another thing is she worked at a vet for 3 years, so while I was out hunting game,. she was trying to save its life...kinda ironic huh


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## Keebs (Sep 25, 2012)

4x4offroad99 said:


> You absolutly, positively took the words right out of my mouth. Another thing is she worked at a vet for 3 years, so while I was out hunting game,. she was trying to save its life...kinda ironic huh


Yeah, now that is........ BUT (IMO) wildlife to be "harvested" for consumption & domesticated anchimals are not the same!


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## 4x4 (Sep 25, 2012)

Keebs said:


> Yeah, now that is........ BUT (IMO) wildlife to be "harvested" for consumption & domesticated anchimals are not the same!



Lol your right. Every one of Gods animals have their place in this world, right next to the mashed potatos and green beans!! Tonight im gonna talk to her and see if we cant come to some sort of agreement.


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## ross the deer slayer (Sep 26, 2012)

Man I love being outdoors. I rarely go to church maybe once every month and a half..I don't feel like i'm worshiping God in Church its more like I get a good message. I'd rather be in the woods and thank God for everything I see than go to church honestly, not that I don't like church, I just feel I can spend more time JUST ME AND GOD when i'm hunting or fishing. I would LOVE to take a certain girl hunting or fishing just to be with her and talk. It ain't about killing something just be together in God's Creation


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## Huntress (Sep 27, 2012)

4x4 I hate the predicament you are in, there doesn't seem to be an easy answer.  I personally would rather sit in the woods and listen to nature and have my alone time for clearing my head and thanking God for all that he has given me than to go to a building where others judge you.  This seems like a no win situation for you right now.  I hope you can get her to understand that God's natural beauty is what we have to be thankful for and blessed with.


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## sawtooth (Sep 27, 2012)

pray about it. Hold your wife's hand and you both pray about it. Treat it like any other problem that a marriage faces. I see it from both sides i think, but i'm in your corner. YOU feel at peace in the woods, doing your thing each fall- it's a way for you to spend quality time with your savior without distraction. SHE feels like you're putting hunting ahead of church and she won't look at it any other way. There's a solution in there somewhere. I'm not good at compromise... but i'm getting better. There's a song that i remember every time i stomp my feet and throw a fit--- but i don't remember who sings it. "I'll start walking your way, and you start walking mine- we'll meeet in the middle,,,,". Try meeting her in the middle.


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## PappyHoel (Sep 27, 2012)

Good luck- I see you in Sunday school.


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## Israel (Sep 29, 2012)

Your heart is open and laid bare before the Lord.
Laying down your life for your bride is only something accomplished in grace.
It neither means rejecting or accepting her every view.
But one view to which you and I are held to account is this:
"Lord, how do I rightly follow you to love this woman you have given me?"
Wisdom is justified of her children...and Christ Jesus has been made all wisdom to you as your head.
Learn to be a good weaker vessel to the Lord...so your weaker vessel's command to obey you will not be grievous to her.


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## Ronnie T (Sep 29, 2012)

I hope you'll read Israel's comment 3 or 4 times.

It sounds like God has blessed you with a lot of "firsts" during this hunting season already.
This year alone I have been blessed beyond belief in my outdoors career, I was able to shoot my first duck, my first wild boar, my first turkey, and even called in a turkey for my 67 yr old Dad. I give it all to the Lord, he provided on them particular hunts and gave me memories tht is burned in my soul forever.

Now you just got to decide if that's enough.  Do you need more.
You're the one who has to decide.
What will you miss in sunday school or what will you miss in the woods.
Decisions decisions.


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## hummdaddy (Sep 29, 2012)

divorce her before you have kid's and make this a bigger mess...she is trying to change who you are completely ...these kind of thing's don't work out ,changing who people are...taking away their passions in life...your gonna want to share these with your kid's,and she is not gonna like that one bit either...just my 2cents....

hope you can change her mind...


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## Ronnie T (Sep 30, 2012)

hummdaddy said:


> divorce her before you have kid's and make this a bigger mess...she is trying to change who you are completely ...these kind of thing's don't work out ,changing who people are...taking away their passions in life...your gonna want to share these with your kid's,and she is not gonna like that one bit either...just my 2cents....
> 
> hope you can change her mind...



Man?


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## Havana Dude (Sep 30, 2012)

hummdaddy said:


> divorce her before you have kid's and make this a bigger mess...she is trying to change who you are completely ...these kind of thing's don't work out ,changing who people are...taking away their passions in life...your gonna want to share these with your kid's,and she is not gonna like that one bit either...just my 2cents....
> 
> hope you can change her mind...



This advice aint worth what is in red.


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## ross the deer slayer (Sep 30, 2012)

Havana Dude said:


> This advice aint worth what is in red.



Haha sorry hummdaddy. But I don't think she's against hunting, just believes that church is more important


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## mossyback8874 (Sep 30, 2012)

*Tough one*

First off, congratulations on giving your life to the Lord.  I pray that you continue to grow spiritually.  As far as your issue with your wife and hunting, I've been there also.  Two things I think you need to think about though; the first is that, like it or not, we are called as husbands to be the spiritual leader of our homes, sometimes that means making some hard decisions.  Secondly, if, and I'm not assuming you are doing this, but if you are putting something ahead of the Lord then there's a very good chance HE will remove it from your life.  Here's an idea that is a compromise with your wife; find a bible study sometime during the week, that way you are still fellowshipping with other believers and you will have Sunday mornings free.  If there isn't a bible study that you know of, start one of your own.  I meet with a small group at 6:00 a.m. on Wednesday mornings, maybe you could do something like that.


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## thereheaint (Oct 18, 2012)

This is all i can say really and its not me saying it Gen 27:3 Pray thee take up your weapons, your quiver and your bow and go into the open country and hunt wild game.


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## 4x4 (Oct 25, 2012)

Israel said:


> Your heart is open and laid bare before the Lord.
> Laying down your life for your bride is only something accomplished in grace.
> It neither means rejecting or accepting her every view.
> But one view to which you and I are held to account is this:
> ...



Amen brother. Thank you.



hummdaddy said:


> divorce her before you have kid's and make this a bigger mess...she is trying to change who you are completely ...these kind of thing's don't work out ,changing who people are...taking away their passions in life...your gonna want to share these with your kid's,and she is not gonna like that one bit either...just my 2cents....
> 
> hope you can change her mind...



I hope your joking.

Absolutly positively not going to happen, if it came down to it I would give all my hunting gear away if she said its either me or your hunting. My bow aint gonna keep me warm at night, my wife does.

Them vows I said to her on April 30th 2011 will never be broken, till death do us part. Especially over hunting.

Here is an update since I started this thread. Thank all you guys for the positive comments.

We worked this out better than I thought it would go. I completly see her point, and she see's mine. It wasnt all about me missing Church or Sunday School, it was quality time with just the 2 of us, her saying I was putting hunting before God was really meaning God AND her. This is totally my fault. I seem to always be busy doing something, except spending quailty time with my wife. Like after work, I work in my shop or helping a customer or hanging out at the taxidermy shop...when I needed to be by my wife's side.
She understands my point now that she understands what the "rut" is and why this is the time big bucks show themselves in daytime, and now is the time I want to be hunting more than ever. I still go to 11am service, but I will be back in the stand by 2:30 and its great to hear these words form my wife..."good luck baby have a good hunt!"
Now, a few times a week we will go see or rent a movie or go out to eat together. We leave our phones at home or in the truck and its just her and me. So when the weekend hits, I can hunt all I want and not have my wife upset.

Life is good, God is great, all the time!!


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## MudLuvr (Dec 19, 2012)

The purpose of church is to worship The Lord as one body of believers but you should still have quiet time with The Lord and reflect on your actions with him. It should all balance out I believe.


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## Chattooga River Hunter (Dec 25, 2012)

I really admire your attitude and how you handled this situation. I'm glad to hear the situation is working itself out


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## Ronnie T (Dec 27, 2012)

You, my friend, sound like a good, godly husband.
Thank you sir.  I hope your hunting season is the best it's ever been.


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## Artfuldodger (Dec 27, 2012)

One thing i've noticed is if, our wives don't hunt, hike, golf, etc. they feel slightly cheated. I or you are spending time having fun while they are stuck at home with the kids. I've seen this reaction in wives even when there are no kids and the husband is off playing golf. There could be the cost of the sport that's part of the equation and drinking.
There should be a balance between work & play. I would like to see more wives develop a hobby and leave the kids with the husband for equal play. I think families should do some things together and some activities as a couple. It would also be nice for each parent to spend time alone with each of their kids. One parent/one child. Then do some stuff by yourself.
My wife was a stay at home mom and kinda resented me coming home to nap or play in the shop without relieving her of the children for a while. I could see her point, although i was tired too.
She wanted to do stuff on weekends from being home all week and I wanted to stay home.
My Dad was always going on fishing trips and leaving poor old Mom with four small children. Mom never went to play bridge or make quilts. Good thing because my Dad was a good dad but would have made a terrible Mom.
It takes balance & lots of discussion.


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## Papa Bear (Dec 30, 2012)

My advice would be pray about it.  Sounds like you have been blessed with a lot of opportunities this year.  I don't think it is a sin to miss a Sunday or so of Church, but do not turn your back on the one who has blessed you with all of these great opportunities this year.   He will give you guidance of how to balance your time with family, hobbies and worship.  It is difficult for us men to balance our time, I too have had to deal with this many times during my fishing and hunting plans.  I have had to ask for forgiveness for being selfish when I look backed at how much time I spent in the woods or fishing.  There is a balance which can please God, and your family I'm sure.  God Bless!


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## Michael F. Gray (Dec 30, 2012)

Matthew 6:33


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