# no smell alcohol?



## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

I just had a meeting with my boss. He said that a customer complained about smelling alcohol on my breath, he said since it was a direct complaint and not corporate, he would turn the other cheeck for now. He said this better be the last time or I am gone. I have tried to quit drinking a couple times the last few years, but I just find myself needing a pick me up around lunch time. I am not drinking heavy til I get home. I just need something to sip on during the day that will keep me relaxed and put off a bad smell. Any Ideas?


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

Try swapping over to pills. No smell and a lot easier to hide than a 40.


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## turtlebug (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> I just had a meeting with my boss. He said that a customer complained about smelling alcohol on my breath, he said since it was a direct complaint and not corporate, he would turn the other cheeck for now. He said this better be the last time or I am gone. I have tried to quit drinking a couple times the last few years, but I just find myself needing a pick me up around lunch time. I am not drinking heavy til I get home. I just need something to sip on during the day that will keep me relaxed and put off a bad smell. Any Ideas?



Did you change jobs or something? I know some techs are very anal and hard to deal with but... but... but...

Have you tired marijuana instead of alkeehol?


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)




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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

T.P. said:


> Try swapping over to pills. No smell and a lot easier to hide than a 40.



pills are getting harder to come by, I was taking for a while though, my tolerence seemed to get really high with them.



turtlebug said:


> Did you change jobs or something? I know some techs are very anal and hard to deal with but... but... but...
> 
> Have you tired marijuana instead of alkeehol?



na did'nt change jobs, I've just been spending alot of time at Quest and they are demanding, then today I got in trouble by a CAP inspector. It's just to much to handle. 

Mari juwanna gives me a headache.


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

Have you tried elmers glue? Or paint?


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## turtlebug (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> pills are getting harder to come by, I was taking for a while though, my tolerence seemed to get really high with them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





We are not.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

T.P. said:


> Have you tried elmers glue? Or paint?



elmers taste good, but gives me hickups. 


Also, I am not looking to get messed up, just trying to take the edge off during the day. So I don't want anything to strong.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

turtlebug said:


> We are not.



Don't tell me you went to the dark side.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Try Vodika


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## Jim Thompson (Mar 26, 2013)

I would just have to quit that job


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Try Vodika



that's what I have been using, mr. boston's actually. it still leaves a odor.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Jim Thompson said:


> I would just have to quit that job



have'nt you learned by this thread... I am NOT a quiter.


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## NCHillbilly (Mar 26, 2013)

Have you tried putting it in the other end? Seems to work for college students........


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Have you tried putting it in the other end? Seems to work for college students........



It's just to much trouble. I tend to have to change clothes alot.


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## Jeff C. (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Have you tried putting it in the other end? Seems to work for college students........



 Say whattttt?


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

Jeff C. said:


> Say whattttt?



X2...


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## Jim Thompson (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> have'nt you learned by this thread... I am NOT a quiter.



I didnt say you, I said I would quit lol


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## elfiii (Mar 26, 2013)

An early morning "hair off the dog"  is OK. The 10:00am "slash" at break time is permissible. The three Martini lunch is a tradition. The mid afternoon "bracer" to get you to the finish line is a necessity. Happy Hour is a celebration of the successful completion of another day. Cocktails before dinner is fashionable as is wine with dinner and after dinner aperitifs but this sip, sip, sip all day long nonsense has got to stop now!No No:


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## NCHillbilly (Mar 26, 2013)

Google it. You can figure out the wordage for putting alchohol into your body from the opposite end of your digestive system.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Jim Thompson said:


> I didnt say you, I said I would quit lol



true dat, my bad. 

If ya find a job that allows a little sip here and there holla at me.


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## Jeff C. (Mar 26, 2013)

elfiii said:


> An early morning "hair off the dog"  is OK. The 10:00am "slash" at break time is permissible. The three Martini lunch is a tradition. The mid afternoon "bracer" to get you to the finish line is a necessity. Happy Hour is a celebration of the successful completion of another day. Cocktails before dinner is fashionable as is wine with dinner and after dinner aperitifs but this sip, sip, sip all day long nonsense has got to stop now!No No:



Got any openings?


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

elfiii said:


> An early morning "hair off the dog"  is OK. The 10:00am "slash" at break time is permissible. The three Martini lunch is a tradition. The mid afternoon "bracer" to get you to the finish line is a necessity. Happy Hour is a celebration of the successful completion of another day. Cocktails before dinner is fashionable as is wine with dinner and after dinner aperitifs but this sip, sip, sip all day long nonsense has got to stop now!No No:



this sounds doable. I think I will bring this to the boss man's attention. 

Thanks Elfii, I knew you would come threw.


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Google it. You can figure out the wordage for putting alchohol into your body from the opposite end of your digestive system.



What has the world come to?


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## JustUs4All (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> true dat, my bad.
> 
> If ya find a job that allows a little sip here and there holla at me.



Seagrams, Wild Turkey, Jim Beam, .......


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## Budda (Mar 26, 2013)

Quit and git yer money from the gommerment which you can then trade folks fer likker.  become a democrat while yer at it!


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## turtlebug (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> Don't tell me you went to the dark side.





See how long you've been gone.  

Couldn't keep swabbing the deck of a sinking ship. Had to go where the $$$ was.    
(Of course right now it's all over Southwest Georgia   )


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## david w. (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Google it. You can figure out the wordage for putting alchohol into your body from the opposite end of your digestive system.



YEAAAA!!!!! you get drunk quicker too.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Budda said:


> Quit and git yer money from the gommerment which you can then trade folks fer likker.  become a democrat while yer at it!


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## Budda (Mar 26, 2013)

You can always try Krokodil.  My daughter said its a hit in Russia right now.  Messes you up physically but i hear its got a bit of a kick in the pants!  Check it out on Youtube.  Make sure you havent eaten recently err get a bucket beside you before you click on any videos!


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

turtlebug said:


> See how long you've been gone.
> 
> Couldn't keep swabbing the deck of a sinking ship. Had to go where the $$$ was.
> (Of course right now it's all over Southwest Georgia   )



that's the best part, getting paid to tour this beutiful state. have you been to the main campus yet. I am usually there a couple days a week.


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## thc_clubPres (Mar 26, 2013)

you forgot to invite the boss didn't you


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Google it. You can figure out the wordage for putting alchohol into your body from the opposite end of your digestive system.


 I think that's where Mr. Boston is made.


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## Sterlo58 (Mar 26, 2013)

See if your boss will let you play the pass out game


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Budda said:


> You can always try Krokodil.  My daughter said its a hit in Russia right now.  Messes you up physically but i hear its got a bit of a kick in the pants!  Check it out on Youtube.  Make sure you havent eaten recently err get a bucket beside you before you click on any videos!



wow, that stuff is horrible.


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## shakey gizzard (Mar 26, 2013)

What about Sterno?


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## TJay (Mar 26, 2013)

A.  You're drinking too much.
B.  You're not drinking enough.

It's one of the two I'm sure of it.


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## hummdaddy (Mar 26, 2013)

do you want to quit?


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

hummdaddy said:


> what about rehab?


 He has already covered that he is not a quitter


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

hummdaddy said:


> do you want to quit?



I tried, I just can't do it.


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> I tried, I just can't do it.



Don't beat yourself up about it. You're not the problem, it's the others that have the problem with your drinking. Let them learn how to cope with it or they should have to find a new job.


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## hummdaddy (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> I tried, I just can't do it.



does your company offer rehab?
some companies do for a documented episode...instead of losing a good employee over alcohol , they try to fix them...fix being the funny word

this is all if you want to stop...this is totally up to you,i'm not judging you


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

The next time some smart customer makes a remark about your drinking, invite him to the parking lot and teach him to keep his mouth shut.


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

hummdaddy said:


> .instead of losing a good employee over alcohol , they try to fix them...



Yep, they try to mold their employees into good little company robots. It's all about production to them.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

hummdaddy said:


> does your company offer rehab?
> some companies do for a documented episode...instead of losing a good employee over alcohol , they try to fix them...fix being the funny word
> 
> this is all if you want to stop...this is totally up to you,i'm not judging you



They do, but it is one time only, and honestly I am saving that for my "get out of jail free" card. Incase I go a little overboard one day. I like to plan ahead and lave myself options. I really do limit myself during the day, but just a few sips I guess still leave a strong enough smell.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> The next time some smart customer makes a remark about your drinking, invite him to the parking lot and teach him to keep his mouth shut.



he wont tell me who it is.  I am thinking about just making small comments until someone speaks up.


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## hummdaddy (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> They do, but it is one time only, and honestly I am saving that for my "get out of jail free" card. Incase I go a little overboard one day. I like to plan ahead and lave myself options. I really do limit myself during the day, but just a few sips I guess still leave a strong enough smell.



i understand!!!


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## elfiii (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> They do, but it is one time only, and honestly I am saving that for my "get out of jail free" card. Incase I go a little overboard one day. I like to plan ahead and lave myself options. I really do limit myself during the day, but just a few sips I guess still leave a strong enough smell.



I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Sober people have taken the workplace over.


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## comallard (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> he wont tell me who it is.  I am thinking about just making small comments until someone speaks up.



Just offer everyone a drink! Bet your business relations strengthen and they won't tattle on you anymore!


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

If I can quit anyone can  I used to pour beer on my cherrios, quit cold turkey on June 6th 2012


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

sinclair1 said:


> If I can quit anyone can  I used to pour beer on my cherrios, quit cold turkey on June 6th 2012



congrats, is that you in your avatar? You look sharp starting up for football season.


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## dawg2 (Mar 26, 2013)

holy cow...


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

sinclair1 said:


> If I can quit anyone can  I used to pour beer on my cherrios, quit cold turkey on June 6th 2012



You were one sick puppy. Congrats for kickin the Cheerios.


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## b rad (Mar 26, 2013)

Just get drunk who cares


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## b rad (Mar 26, 2013)

Obama will help u he's the savior


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

Brianduffey said:


> Obama will help u he's the savior


He will just Mattech hooked on cigarettes


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

sinclair1 said:


> He will just Mattech hooked on cigarettes



Sometimes I enjoy a cigar, but not cigarrettes.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

NCHillbilly said:


> Have you tried putting it in the other end? Seems to work for college students........





david w. said:


> YEAAAA!!!!! you get drunk quicker too.






That's one breath analyzer test I'd have to pass on . . .


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Brianduffey said:


> Just get drunk who cares



I'm drunk right now, but i can't at work.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> That's one breath analyzer test I'd have to pass on . . .


 Dawg2 ever done two HOLY COWS in the same thread


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Need to see if you can get on night shift.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> That's one breath analyzer test I'd have to pass on . . .






Excuse me sir, would you mind blowing into this . . .


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## Muddyfoots (Mar 26, 2013)

Simple. Apply for a job at a brewery..


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## comallard (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Excuse me sir, would you mind blowing into this . . .



And keep blowing until I say stop.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Muddyfoots said:


> Simple. Apply for a job at a brewery..



I worked at one for  4 days once. I never left, they had to been escorted off the property. I even offered to work for free.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Excuse me sir, would you mind blowing into this . . .






No problem Occifer, but may I shuggest you stand back and DO NOT light a match . . .


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Have you ever tried to get help with your drinking?


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## Budda (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> No problem Occifer, but may I shuggest you stand back and DO NOT light a match . . .



Son, i said no spittin and sputterin.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Have you ever tried to get help with your drinking?






Purty sho doing it the NChillbilly suggested you're gonna need a helping hand . . .





Hey bra, bend ova and let me pour you a drank  . . .


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Purty sho doing it the NChillbilly suggested you're gonna need a helping hand . . .
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Quack you aint even close to right.


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## comallard (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Have you ever tried to get help with your drinking?



What questions do you have? I might be able to help.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Have you ever tried to get help with your drinking?



All the time, its hard to drive and open a beer at the same time. I taught my six year old son how to steer from the passenger seat.


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## pbradley (Mar 26, 2013)

Have you tried water? Odorless, colorless...


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> All the time, its hard to drive and open a beer at the same time. I taught my six year old son how to steer from the passenger seat.



That's how I learned to drive, I would toss the cans out my window for dad too.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

This kinda/sorta takes "funneling" to a whole new level.


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 26, 2013)

pbradley said:


> Have you tried water? Odorless, colorless...






Ewwwwwwww . . .


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

pbradley said:


> Have you tried water? Odorless, colorless...



Yes, but by 11a.m. I get to shaking real bad.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

pbradley said:


> Have you tried water? Odorless, colorless...


That purty lady done ruint PB


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> This kinda/sorta takes "funneling" to a whole new level.



Ahh, brings back old times in panama city beach.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> Yes, but by 11a.m. I get to shaking real bad.


Start going in at 11am


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## pbradley (Mar 26, 2013)

sinclair1 said:


> That purty lady done ruint PB



yeah, but the homemade apple pie and peach cobbler and peanut butter / white chocolate cookies helps.


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

So that's why them fellers are standing on the corner with their briches hangin below their crack. They  tryin not to cover up their mouth.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

pbradley said:


> yeah, but the homemade apple pie and peach cobbler and peanut butter / white chocolate cookies helps.


You win


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## pbradley (Mar 26, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Ewwwwwwww . . .


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## Boondocks (Mar 26, 2013)

Forget the Mr Boston,try some apple pie !!!


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

Hey, I guess it'll start being called a beerhole now.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

T.P. said:


> Hey, I guess it'll start being called a beerhole now.


 So that's what the censor means by potty mouth


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

sinclair1 said:


> So that's what the censor means by potty mouth



LoL.... Potty Mouth.


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## stringmusic (Mar 26, 2013)

Mattech be drankin'


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

T.P. said:


> Hey, I guess it'll start being called a beerhole now.



It's been called that, yall are just behind the times. Yall probably havent even heard of how the younguns do body shots now.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

What Mattech need guys is some support and not bellitement. He needs us now more than ever and I think we should stand together and help support him. What I am suggesting is a keg party to show him that we are there for him. What about it?


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> It's been called that, yall are just behind the times. Yall probably havent even heard of how the younguns do body shots now.


If they sportin a muffin top it take purt near the whole bottle


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## T.P. (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> It's been called that, yall are just behind the times. Yall probably havent even heard of how the younguns do body shots now.



Nope, ain't heard that one neither. Up until now I thought the bunghole was just a launching pad for bottle rockets.


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

Cops!!!!!! RUN


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> What Mattech need guys is some support and not bellitement. He needs us now more than ever and I think we should stand together and help support him. What I am suggesting is a keg party to show him that we are there for him. What about it?



Thank you, you have no idear how much this means to me. I try so hard to do good, but its just so hard. I promise yall I will not let ya down I gotz plans to open my own t shirt business. I'm gonna have sayings on it like, free Charles Manson, and don't go turkey hunting without t.p. and Justin burner is my hero when he wears meggins.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

T.P. said:


> Nope, ain't heard that one neither. Up until now I thought the bunghole was just a launching pad for bottle rockets.



Its also the hole in the wooden wine barrels.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> Thank you, you have no idear how much this means to me. I try so hard to do good, but its just so hard. I promise yall I will not let ya down I gotz plans to open my own t shirt business. I'm gonna have sayings on it like, free Charles Manson, and don't go turkey hunting without t.p. and Justin burner is my hero when he wears meggins.



That is inspiring I will take two of those T- Shirts, a small for me and a XXXX large for the wife, thanks, I got to go this is breaking me up.


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## stringmusic (Mar 26, 2013)

Mattech, you eva thought bout goin' to one'nem alkyholics apprenticeship meetins?


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> That is inspiring I will take two of those T- Shirts, a small for me and a XXXX large for the wife, thanks, I got to go this is breaking me up.



Don't have small, how about extra medium


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## sinclair1 (Mar 26, 2013)

stringmusic said:


> Mattech, you eva thought bout goin' to one'nem alkyholics apprenticeship meetins?


He is professional


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

stringmusic said:


> Mattech, you eva thought bout goin' to one'nem alkyholics apprenticeship meetins?



Na, never heard of it. Do they teach you how to drink discreately


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

Extra medium fit just does not do it for my muscles. But whatever, i will donate it as a prize at the night crawler catching contest.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Extra medium fit just does not do it for my muscles. But whatever, i will donate it as a prize at the night crawler catching contest.



Ohh, were is a night caller contest at. I like calling people at night.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> Ohh, were is a night caller contest at. I like calling people at night.



Crawler Not Caller. You been drinking again aint you.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Crawler Not Caller. You been drinking again aint you.



oops my fault. You got me all excited thinking about calling all my old girlfriends late at night.


So how do you call night crawlers, can you buy a call for them at bass pro shops?


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> oops my fault. You got me all excited thinking about calling all my old girlfriends late at night.
> 
> 
> So how do you call night crawlers, can you buy a call for them at bass pro shops?



Naw you go out at night with a light and catch them before they can sneak away from you.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Naw you go out at night with a light and catch them before they can sneak away from you.



all ya gotta do is pour a little wisky in the mudd and put a piece of bread on it. give it a night or two and then evry worm in the county will be under that their piece of bread. I still don't get how you plan to call in a night crawler though?


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

That is a waste of wisky.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> That is a waste of wisky.



I agree, but do ya want worms or not.


I knew i should have put this in the ontopic phorum.


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## KyDawg (Mar 26, 2013)

You catch wierd fish with drunk worms.


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> You catch wierd fish with drunk worms.



I got some empty bottles with worms already in them, just waiting to be used.


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## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> So how do you call night crawlers, can you buy a call for them at bass pro shops?


It's called worm grunting!!

Discovery Channel had a show on this!!

They drive a stake in the ground, and rake a file over the top of the stake to drive the worms to the top of the ground!!

Not sure if this setup is sold at BPS!!


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## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> I got some empty bottles with worms already in them, just waiting to be used.



Sounds like you didn't finish the bottles properly!!


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> Sounds like you didn't finish the bottles properly!!



Those were my sons bottles, he is still a beginner.


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## Budda (Mar 26, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> It's called worm grunting!!
> 
> Discovery Channel had a show on this!!
> 
> ...



We always used a battery attached to two rods drive deep about ten ft apart.  Attached by wires I mean.  Little current will bring them out quicker then frog tung


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## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> Those were my sons bottles, he is still a beginner.


Well you need to teach him better!!........Lack of experience is your fault!!

An experienced drinker like yourself should know better!!


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## mattech (Mar 26, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> Well you need to teach him better!!........Lack of experience is your fault!!
> 
> An experienced drinker like yourself should know better!!



he is a slow learner.


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## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 26, 2013)

mattech said:


> he is a slow learner.


And this is a direct reflection on the teachers ability!!...........Slacker!!


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## Hooked On Quack (Mar 27, 2013)

Ya'll sho ran this one off the tracks into the ditch.


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## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Ya'll sho ran this one off the tracks into the ditch.



Yep,  I should have put this in the on topic. Bunch of idjits in here.


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## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> And this is a direct reflection on the teachers ability!!...........Slacker!!



I know, but I was almost 9 before I started eating the worm.


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## mudracing101 (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> I just had a meeting with my boss. He said that a customer complained about smelling alcohol on my breath, he said since it was a direct complaint and not corporate, he would turn the other cheeck for now. He said this better be the last time or I am gone. I have tried to quit drinking a couple times the last few years, but I just find myself needing a pick me up around lunch time. I am not drinking heavy til I get home. I just need something to sip on during the day that will keep me relaxed and put off a bad smell. Any Ideas?



Well this explains everything.


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## stringmusic (Mar 27, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Ya'll sho ran this one off the tracks into the ditch.



I knew this was 'gon happen, I done told him he was 'gon wreck dat mini van doin' all that drankin'.

He's a purdy good driva though, I've seen him get that mini outta places that I wouldn't take a fo-wheel drive truck.


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## oops1 (Mar 27, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Ya'll sho ran this one off the tracks into the ditch.



Back on topic. Try switching to mouthwash ..cough syrup or aftershave . Same effects with a camouflaging odor! Hope this helps. Oh and I totally agree with an earlier post... Find who ratted you out and make an example of him.. Ya gotta handle dem snitches!


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## Strych9 (Mar 27, 2013)

Drink it through your hiney, with a turkey baster?


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## Da Possum (Mar 27, 2013)

Strych9 said:


> Drink it through your hiney, with a turkey baster?


----------



## Hooked On Quack (Mar 27, 2013)

Strych9 said:


> Drink it through your hiney, with a turkey baster?





hdm03 said:


>






Buncha sicko's,  hold a second . . .


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

stringmusic said:


> I knew this was 'gon happen, I done told him he was 'gon wreck dat mini van doin' all that drankin'.
> 
> He's a purdy good driva though, I've seen him get that mini outta places that I wouldn't take a fo-wheel drive truck.



A minivan is good camoflauge for drinking, cops don't pull over a man in a minivan, they already feel sorry for us.



oops1 said:


> Back on topic. Try switching to mouthwash ..cough syrup or aftershave . Same effects with a camouflaging odor! Hope this helps. Oh and I totally agree with an earlier post... Find who ratted you out and make an example of him.. Ya gotta handle dem snitches!



True dat,   snitches get stitches



Strych9 said:


> Drink it through your hiney, with a turkey baster?





hdm03 said:


>





Hooked On Quack said:


> Buncha sicko's,  hold a second . . .




Already been covered, I tend to ruin a lot of clothes this way.


----------



## humdandy (Mar 27, 2013)

Wear heavy obnoxious cologne!  

Or offer folks candy or peppermint when they come in your office, some real strong breath mint!  This will make it more difficult for them to smell you.

That is if quitting is not an option.


----------



## humdandy (Mar 27, 2013)

BTW, your not a school bus driver, are you?


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

humdandy said:


> BTW, your not a school bus driver, are you?



Not anymore, a dang nosey mom called and reported me for hitting her mailbox, then I jay a few kids get off the bus to help pick it up.


----------



## Shrimp (Mar 27, 2013)

I just use mouthwash after i sip a few works great just dont drink the mouthwash.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 27, 2013)

Atarax

Zombie's are trending anyway


----------



## dawg2 (Mar 27, 2013)

holy cow...again...


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> Not anymore, a dang nosey mom called and reported me for hitting her mailbox, then I jay a few kids get off the bus to help pick it up.



It did not help you any when you knocked the awning off the drive thru at the liquor store either.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> It did not help you any when you knocked the awning off the drive thru at the liquor store either.



Yea, the dang liars said they would let it slide.


----------



## Sargent (Mar 27, 2013)

Try Ice-Blue Aqua Velva filtered through a piece of white bread.


----------



## comallard (Mar 27, 2013)

Sargent said:


> Try Ice-Blue Aqua Velva filtered through a piece of white bread.



To much trouble. Find new customers!


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

comallard said:


> To much trouble. Find new customers!



no need, I'm cured. I been without a drink for over 4 hours now. Oh, I see the lite at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for all the prayers folks. they really helped.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

You may break your 5 hour record. Hang in there. I got to go fix me a Beam and coke. Pulling for you bro.


----------



## T.P. (Mar 27, 2013)

Glad those pills are workin' for ya. Next time they're not free though.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

well guys, i'm sorry to report back. I went to fix the wife a glass of water and ended up chugging a couple beers real quick like. 

I still appreciate the prayers though.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

Have you tried near beer?


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Have you tried near beer?



yea, I put it near my mouth and drink it.


----------



## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> no need, I'm cured. I been without a drink for over 4 hours now. Oh, I see the lite at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for all the prayers folks. they really helped.


Rookie!!.........Let me know when you make 16 hours!!



mattech said:


> well guys, i'm sorry to report back. I went to fix the wife a glass of water and ended up chugging a couple beers real quick like.
> 
> I still appreciate the prayers though.


I knew you didn't have it in you to be a quitter!!


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

Maybe you should start your own business. You know set your own schedule.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Maybe you should start your own business. You know set your own schedule.



good Idea, anybody know how to get ahold of that tshirt add that keeps popping up to the right of my shirt. I got a budiness proposal for that girl.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> Rookie!!.........Let me know when you make 16 hours!!
> 
> I knew you didn't have it in you to be a quitter!!



16 hours , who do you think I am? 

Thats like a whole weeks worth of work.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

Maybe you could get a job at a liquor store. Nobody would complain about your breath there surely.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Maybe you could get a job at a liquor store. Nobody would complain about your breath there surely.



it would turn out just like the brewery job. They would have to have me escorted off the property. My self control and up to par for that much temptation.


----------



## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> 16 hours , who do you think I am?
> 
> Thats like a whole weeks worth of work.


I know what you mean Bro!!

I'm still working on my 12 hour pin!!

6 hours was............Well it was a struggle, but doable!!

I keep hitting the wall/bottle at 10 hours!!

I'm thinking that with some help from my Bro's that I might be able to pass the 10 hour mark, and carry on through to 12 hours!!

I may need to find someone else besides Quack to help me through this!!


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> I know what you mean Bro!!
> 
> I'm still working on my 12 hour pin!!
> 
> ...



yea, dump quack, he aint no support at all. congrats on the 12 hour pin. I made it 11 hours once cause I passed out walkin through the woods and fell in a well, it took 10 and a half hours for them to find me, I had my brother randy bring me a bottle of old faithfull ( mr boston)  until they could get me out, two days later.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

I would offer Ruttn but done think I would be much help either.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> I know what you mean Bro!!
> 
> I'm still working on my 12 hour pin!!
> 
> ...



BTW, that's a fine lookin' dog in yo avitur. you need to get him one of them whiskey barrels to go around his collar, he will be more useful that way.


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> I would offer Ruttn but done think I would be much help either.



ya'll just a bunch of drunks! sure is nice to fit in with a crowd finally.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> BTW, that's a fine lookin' dog in yo avitur. you need to get him one of them whiskey barrels to go around his collar, he will be more useful that way.



Thank you.


----------



## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 27, 2013)

mattech said:


> yea, dump quack, he aint no support at all. congrats on the 12 hour pin. I made it 11 hours once cause I passed out walkin through the woods and fell in a well, it took 10 and a half hours for them to find me, I had my brother randy bring me a bottle of old faithfull ( mr boston)  until they could get me out, two days later.


Sorry for the misunderstanding, but I ain't made the 12 hour pin yet!!..........Stepped in a stump hole, and twisted my ankle.
When Quack came to help me out, he brought me a pint of MD 20/20..........I couldn't refuse!!.........He did help me out of a tight spot!!...........There went the 10 hour mark!!



KyDawg said:


> I would offer Ruttn but done think I would be much help either.


Well you know who your friends are!!


----------



## mattech (Mar 27, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> Sorry for the misunderstanding, but I ain't made the 12 hour pin yet!!..........Stepped in a stump hole, and twisted my ankle.
> When Quack came to help me out, he brought me a pint of MD 20/20..........I couldn't refuse!!.........He did help me out of a tight spot!!...........There went the 10 hour mark!!
> 
> Well you know who your friends are!!



that sure is nice of kydog.I think that T.P. fella would be good support.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 27, 2013)

Thank you


----------



## T.P. (Mar 28, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> Thank you



That's what I'm here for.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

Just get a bottle of ether and a hanky, less caloric intake.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

David Parker said:


> Just get a bottle of ether and a hanky, less caloric intake.



I get a headache that way.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

from the ether or losing your equilibrium, falling, and bonking it?


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

David Parker said:


> from the ether or losing your equilibrium, falling, and bonking it?



From the hanky, I'm allergic to cotton.


----------



## elfiii (Mar 28, 2013)

Mercy! A man could get drunk off the fumes in this thread.


----------



## Nicodemus (Mar 28, 2013)

elfiii said:


> Mercy! A man could get drunk off the fumes in this thread.





And overfertilize a 500 acre sugar sand field.


----------



## bull0ne (Mar 28, 2013)

elfiii said:


> Mercy! A man could get drunk off the fumes in this thread.



Not drunk per se........but I did kill 2 out of my last 4 brain cells by reading the first page or two.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

bull0ne said:


> Not drunk per se........but I did kill 2 out of my last 4 brain cells by reading the first page or two.



That still leaves you with one brain cell more than me.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

elfiii said:


> Mercy! A man could get drunk off the fumes in this thread.



Do you think my customers will smell that?


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

mattech said:


> From the hanky, I'm allergic to cotton.



I've got a line on some hypo-allergenic hankies.  Don't say anything but wink smiley if you want me to try and score.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

....





Can't find the winker.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 28, 2013)

Had a Messican crew over here remodeling the Bathroom. They came in today and several of them had a strong smell of whisky on thier breath. I fired the whole crew.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

Tequile smells nothing like whiskey though.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

David Parker said:


> Tequile smells nothing like whiskey though.



That's racist.


----------



## KyDawg (Mar 28, 2013)

David Parker said:


> Tequile smells nothing like whiskey though.



It was not Tequila it was my Jim Beam I had hid out in the flower bed for emergencies. That is why I fired them.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

I would recommend burying alittle dos XX's in between rows if you are going to continue your hiring practice w/ the hombres.  They'll leave the beam be.  Then again, hire me and i'll take both.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 28, 2013)

mattech said:


> That's racist.



HiFi Stereotyping in my book.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

KyDawg said:


> It was not Tequila it was my Jim Beam I had hid out in the flower bed for emergencies. That is why I fired them.



they found it because they thought the were initially there for landscaping work.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

David Parker said:


> HiFi Stereotyping in my book.



I think they call it suround sound nowadays.


----------



## Hooked On Quack (Mar 28, 2013)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> I know what you mean Bro!!
> 
> I'm still working on my 12 hour pin!!
> 
> ...







Whoaaaaaa bro, I was a GOOD sponsor .No No:





I always helped you find yo drank when you missplaced it.


----------



## mattech (Mar 28, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Whoaaaaaa bro, I was a GOOD sponsor .No No:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



yea, but you would never hold da funnel for him.


----------



## RUTTNBUCK (Mar 28, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> Whoaaaaaa bro, I was a GOOD sponsor .No No:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Very True!!!...........I think at a few points in time you donated coozie's to help me keep from losing my beer!!

There was the glow in the dark coozie!!......That worked for a while, but when I could find my beer in the dark, I started forgetting where I left it!!

Then there was the coozie that hung around my neck........Then I started forgetting where I was!!

At this point I started to wonder why I was taking help from a guy that couldn't even keep track of his own coozie??


----------



## David Parker (Mar 29, 2013)

just shotgun'm and save the coozies for the ladies


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

Bad news yall, I'm at Emory today, they just had the cops escort me off the property. I might ne out of a job. Prayers needed.


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> Bad news yall, I'm at Emory today, they just had the cops escort me off the property. I might ne out of a job. Prayers needed.



Hey, thats great news, you'll have more time for your hobbbies


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

mudracing101 said:


> Hey, thats great news, you'll have more time for your hobbbies



Im gonna start bootleggin i guess.


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> Im gonna start bootleggin i guess.



Well be carefull, get ya a fast car and remember them cops got radio's in their cars now. Its harder to outrun em.


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

mudracing101 said:


> Well be carefull, get ya a fast car and remember them cops got radio's in their cars now. Its harder to outrun em.



I don't see them listening to music is going to help them catch me.


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> I don't see them listening to music is going to help them catch me.



It will, trust me


----------



## rydert (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> I don't see them listening to music is going to help them catch me.


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

They also passed Sunday sales here. Might hurt my startup a bit..


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> They also passed Sunday sales here. Might hurt my startup a bit..



Turkey this morning, time off from work, Sunday beer, man today is Good Friday for you


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

Yes it is. I'm at my kids school right now have lunch with kids, I'm gonna see if I canget a part time janitors job.


----------



## rydert (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> They also passed Sunday sales here. Might hurt my startup a bit..



tha bootleggers and preachers voted it down around here.......maybe you could make a run down this way on Sundays.....just tryin to help a brother out


----------



## dotties cutter (Mar 29, 2013)

If you are drinking at work it means you are also driving home after drinking which is a problem for all of us. I have gotten the impression that every person on this forum are caring people and they will all agree You have a problem you should be addressing. You are obviously an alcoholic and in need of a lot of help which you can get if you will begin reaching out and attempting to get the help. At this time you are harming your job security, the people all around you and most of all yourself. From a person who cares I ask PLEASE get help while you are able [and you are] able.


----------



## Hooked On Quack (Mar 29, 2013)




----------



## oops1 (Mar 29, 2013)

^^^ this!


----------



## rydert (Mar 29, 2013)

dotties cutter said:


> If you are drinking at work it means you are also driving home after drinking which is a problem for all of us. I have gotten the impression that every person on this forum are caring people and they will all agree You have a problem you should be addressing. You are obviously an alcoholic and in need of a lot of help which you can get if you will begin reaching out and attempting to get the help. At this time you are harming your job security, the people all around you and most of all yourself. From a person who cares I ask PLEASE get help while you are able [and you are] able.



I agree with everything you said except for the part in red............

Matt get some dang help ya idjit.......


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

I'm trying, really I am its just so hard.when that liquor touches my lips I loose control.


----------



## rydert (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> I'm trying, really I am its just so hard.when that liquor touches my lips I loose control.



you lose control of yo lips?


----------



## David Parker (Mar 29, 2013)

HEre here now.  it's still only 1pm and i don't need no shakes goin down at work.  Let's talk about types of pine trees or how many toothpicks you can stick into a grape .. .anything but meds


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

rydert said:


> you lose control of yo lips?



yes, they control me.


----------



## Hooked On Quack (Mar 29, 2013)

dotties cutter said:


> If you are drinking at work it means you are also driving home after drinking which is a problem for all of us. I have gotten the impression that every person on this forum are caring people and they will all agree You have a problem you should be addressing. You are obviously an alcoholic and in need of a lot of help which you can get if you will begin reaching out and attempting to get the help. At this time you are harming your job security, the people all around you and most of all yourself. From a person who cares I ask PLEASE get help while you are able [and you are] able.







He just got a new job as a taxi cab driver.


----------



## humdandy (Mar 29, 2013)

Do you also drink while hunting?


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

Matt, you need help brother, but i dont really care.


----------



## David Parker (Mar 29, 2013)

He hunts down drinkers and takes their alkeehaul


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

humdandy said:


> Do you also drink while hunting?



It's not illegal to drink and hunt just illegal to hunt over .08


----------



## rydert (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> It's not illegal to drink and hunt just illegal to hunt over .08



is that some kind of new bait?............dey sale it at Walmart?


----------



## mudracing101 (Mar 29, 2013)

rydert said:


> is that some kind of new bait?............dey sale it at Walmart?



He did kill a turkey this morning. I want in on the .08.


----------



## Hooked On Quack (Mar 29, 2013)

mattech said:


> It's not illegal to drink and hunt just illegal to hunt over .08






You wake up in the mornings registering higher than that.


----------



## notnksnemor (Mar 29, 2013)

Good mouthwash and cover scent.


----------



## mattech (Mar 29, 2013)

Hooked On Quack said:


> You wake up in the mornings registering higher than that.



Only if I forget to brush my teeth.


----------



## Havana Dude (Mar 29, 2013)

Try airplane glue. I keep a tube in the firetruck for just such occasions.


----------



## comallard (Apr 1, 2013)

humdandy said:


> Do you also drink while hunting?



Is there any other way?


----------



## T.P. (Dec 31, 2013)

Mattech, have you made any progress?


----------



## KyDawg (Dec 31, 2013)

How did your job as a counseler work out?


----------



## Bpruitt (Dec 31, 2013)

My brother says alcohol is just like any other drug,it won't cause problems as long as you keep a little in your system all the time.


----------



## oldenred (Jan 1, 2014)

Ever try peanut butter. Just eat a big ol scoop of it after you drink and they won't be able to tell. You can even pass a breathalyzer like that.  Doesn't matter how drunk I get I still pass them!


----------



## KyDawg (Jan 1, 2014)

oldenred said:


> Ever try peanut butter. Just eat a big ol scoop of it after you drink and they won't be able to tell. You can even pass a breathalyzer like that.  Doesn't matter how drunk I get I still pass them!



Always wondered what happened to your foot.


----------



## T.P. (Jan 1, 2014)

T.P. said:


> Mattech, have you made any progress?



I am affeared with the lack of response from mattech, his progress has been limited.


----------



## mattech (Jan 1, 2014)

T.P. said:


> I am affeared with the lack of response from mattech, his progress has been limited.



Sorry, I've been in AA meetings all day. I'm doing great I'm at about 16 hours of sobriety right now. things are going great, ive only drank three beers today.


----------



## KyDawg (Jan 1, 2014)

mattech said:


> Sorry, I've been in AA meetings all day. I'm doing great I'm at about 16 hours of sobriety right now. things are going great, ive only drank three beers today.



Way to got matt, beers dont count, only whiskey.


----------



## T.P. (Jan 1, 2014)

mattech said:


> Sorry, I've been in AA meetings all day. I'm doing great I'm at about 16 hours of sobriety right now. things are going great, ive only drank three beers today.



That is wonderful news, mattech! If you can ever get to the point you can go all day without the need for alcohol, a lot of us here are planning on throwing you a congratulatory keg party! Good luck!


----------



## mattech (Jan 1, 2014)

T.P. said:


> That is wonderful news, mattech! If you can ever get to the point you can go all day without the need for alcohol, a lot of us here are planning on throwing you a congratulatory keg party! Good luck!



Thanks T.P. I can't tell you how flattered I am that y'all would do that for me.  I would love to show you my keg stand.


----------



## snookdoctor (Jan 1, 2014)

mattech said:


> I tried, I just can't do it.



Good for you. I hate quitters!


----------



## stringmusic (Jan 2, 2014)

Me and Mattech went duck huntin' yessturdy mornin' and I'm proud to report that he only drank 6 Coronas while we was huntin!

I wished he woulda stopped shootin' all them cormorants but we had a good time.


----------



## 660griz (Jan 2, 2014)

Mouthwash? Get liquored up and your breath will smell menty fresh.


----------



## mattech (Jan 2, 2014)

stringmusic said:


> Me and Mattech went duck huntin' yessturdy mornin' and I'm proud to report that he only drank 6 Coronas while we was huntin!
> 
> I wished he woulda stopped shootin' all them cormorants but we had a good time.



Them things go good with red whine though. I'm just glad the cop that pulled me over didnt smell anything. I can believe my cousin messed up my wiring kit.


----------



## stringmusic (Jan 2, 2014)

mattech said:


> Them things go good with red whine though. I'm just glad the cop that pulled me over didnt smell anything. I can believe my cousin messed up my wiring kit.



Your cousin, I tell you what. I wouldn't eva let him touch that wirin' again.


----------



## Flaustin1 (Jan 4, 2014)

Just switch over to peppermint shnappes and eat peppermints all day.  Nobody will ever know. .. . amatures. ..


----------



## T.P. (Jan 5, 2014)

What do y'all do with your empty cans in the duck blind? They seem to flare the ducks when I throw them in the water. If I throw them in the floor of the Jon boat they trip me up.


----------



## doenightmare (Jan 5, 2014)

T.P. said:


> What do y'all do with your empty cans in the duck blind? They seem to flare the ducks when I throw them in the water. If I throw them in the floor of the Jon boat they trip me up.



Submerge the empty can or bottle til it fills up with water- it will sink then.


----------



## humdandy (Jul 6, 2014)

Any more complaints?


----------



## oldfella1962 (Jul 6, 2014)

No two drink lunch policy? When I joined the military in 1980 we had the "two beer limit" lunch. We had a 90 minute lunch, 
so nursing two beers over that long a time is tough, and I never was very good at math. 

Those days are long, long gone, never to return. 

One of our NCO's at RAF Lakenheath was home-brewing beer in our operations center supply closet. Since he planned on sharing the batch with everybody anyway at our next quarterly beer bash, it would be more convenient.
Yep, if we flew our quarterly quota of "sorties" the command provide cases of beer for a celebration.

Also if you broke a record on the fastest bomb loading (very rare) your three man crew got a case of beer.

At Mountain Home AFB in Idaho they had a lottery with the prize being a kids red wagon filled with high-octane booze (Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, etc) and a 30-06 elk rifle. 

Heads would explode if you even tried to do that in today's military!


----------



## mattech (Jul 6, 2014)

humdandy said:


> Any more complaints?



I got fired a few months ago, but I discovered alcoholism is a disability. So I can stay home and drink all day ad still get a check. I'm so glad I voted for obama, I knew he would take care of me.


----------



## RUTTNBUCK (Jul 6, 2014)

mattech said:


> I got fired a few months ago, but I discovered alcoholism is a disability. So I can stay home and drink all day and still get a check. I'm so glad I voted for obama, I knew he would take care of me.


I didn't vote for Obama!!

Silly me!!........How do I get in on this free ride??

Am I eligible if I didn't vote for Obama??


----------



## mattech (Jul 7, 2014)

RUTTNBUCK said:


> I didn't vote for Obama!!
> 
> Silly me!!........How do I get in on this free ride??
> 
> Am I eligible if I didn't vote for Obama??




Yes you are. When you get in trouble at work just state that you can't quit and you need help. They will put you in rehab, after you get out just keep drinking. When you get in trouble again blame it on the stress from work and tell them you never drank before you started that job. That's what I did. I get 90% of my regular check now. For a 10% loss its worth it to sit home all day, espiacially since I get a government phone ebt/ snap and free healthcare. I'm try to get my wife to have 4 more kids cause we get more money on ebt after that.


----------



## mattech (Jul 7, 2014)

T.P. said:


> What do y'all do with your empty cans in the duck blind? They seem to flare the ducks when I throw them in the water. If I throw them in the floor of the Jon boat they trip me up.



I buy bush beer during hunting season, the come in camp beer cans. Easier to hide from the law also.


----------



## mickbear (Jul 7, 2014)

mattech said:


> elmers taste good, but gives me hickups.
> 
> 
> Also, I am not looking to get messed up, just trying to take the edge off during the day. So I don't want anything to strong.


 waaaaaa hahahaha waaaaaaa


----------



## mattech (Mar 6, 2018)

Still looking


----------



## Big7 (Mar 6, 2018)

Holy Old Threads.


----------



## Snookpimpin (Mar 6, 2018)

my buddies dad always kept a fresh lemon in the center console he said if you get pulled over bite the top of the lemon off and suck some juice out he said it would fool any silly old po-po. hes been a full blown alchi for 40 years so he must be doing something right


----------



## Cmp1 (Mar 6, 2018)

Snookpimpin said:


> my buddies dad always kept a fresh lemon in the center console he said if you get pulled over bite the top of the lemon off and suck some juice out he said it would fool any silly old po-po. hes been a full blown alchi for 40 years so he must be doing something right



Lol lol lol,,,, might as well have some JC Tequila to go with it,,,,


----------



## mguthrie (Mar 6, 2018)

MAttech's review must not have went very well


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## matt79brown (Mar 6, 2018)

Lost the best paying job I ever had not long after the boss gave me that speech. Then my wife. Then my house. Then my truck. Then my freedom. Sounds like you got that drinkin' thinkin' thing down pat. Some folks can handle it. Others can not. You can't quit. So what you gonna do?


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## BDD (Mar 7, 2018)

I saw on the news the other day , some of the high techie’s out in CA are micro dousing acid. Might be worth a try.
They say it makes you real smart. 

 But what would really work is just keep that hand sanitizer around and keep using it.  That stuff
Will make you smell like you just downed a fifth.


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## matt79brown (Mar 8, 2018)

''cornbread and ice teas took the place of pills and 90 proof''


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## mattech (Mar 11, 2018)

matt79brown said:


> ''cornbread and ice teas took the place of pills and 90 proof''



What fun is that


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## matt79brown (Mar 11, 2018)

Funner than a self inflicted stroke. Some of us just gotta learn things the hard way.


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## kmckinnie (Mar 11, 2018)

I have not posted in here just peeked , cause I know I may have the same thing going on. At the local watering hole I go to.... when I want a nother beer. I hollar to the bartender. “ nurse bring me a beer “ she brings it. Pops the top and I can taste it before it hits my lips. Smooth and refreshing.........


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## Da Possum (May 21, 2021)

Lots of good info in this thread


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## Gbr5pb (May 21, 2021)

Haha you just made me like a 8 year old thread


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## Da Possum (May 21, 2021)

KyDawg said:


> Sober people have taken the workplace over.



Dang.....I miss me some KyDawg!!  Happy Birthday lil fella!!!


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## Hilsman (May 21, 2021)

Da Possum said:


> Dang.....I miss me some KyDawg!!  Happy Birthday lil fella!!!


Same here.  Got to thinking about him the other day when I was on the tractor


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## GeorgiaGlockMan (May 21, 2021)

Trust me, huffing silver paint isn't what you are looking for.

I had to quit when everyone complained about the silver paint (it's the good stuff) in my beard.


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## Ray357 (May 21, 2021)

T.P. said:


> Have you tried elmers glue? Or paint?


You mean model car glue. You can huff Elmer's till the cows come home and won't get high.


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## Jim Thompson (May 21, 2021)

Pretty good thread revival


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## Browning Slayer (May 21, 2021)

NCHillbilly said:


> Have you tried putting it in the other end? Seems to work for college students........


Just another great idea from the University of Tennessee...


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## Mike 65 (May 21, 2021)

Browning Slayer said:


> Just another great idea from the University of Tennessee...


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## sinclair1 (May 22, 2021)

Where’s @mattech been missing his strong opinions


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## 1eyefishing (May 22, 2021)

Use Enough Gun said:


> Good bye !!




Like.


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## greg_n_clayton (May 22, 2021)

NCHillbilly said:


> Google it. You can figure out the wordage for putting alchohol into your body from the opposite end of your digestive system.


Good information in this post !!


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## 1eyefishing (May 22, 2021)

greg_n_clayton said:


> Good information in this post !!



Police: "Boss, we gonna need different sanitary mouthpieces for the breathalyzer."
.


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## treemanjohn (May 22, 2021)

Hilbillys enema advice sounded solid


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## mguthrie (May 22, 2021)

sinclair1 said:


> Where’s @mattech been missing his strong opinions


He is opinionated


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## jNick (May 22, 2021)

Buttchugging for the win.  All day err day.


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## mattech (May 22, 2021)

sinclair1 said:


> Where’s @mattech been missing his strong opinions




I forgot to pay my cellphone bill.


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## mattech (May 22, 2021)

mguthrie said:


> He is opinionated


No I'm not, you just don't like being wrong.


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## mguthrie (May 23, 2021)

mattech said:


> No I'm not, you just don't like being wrong.


I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken


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## NWS (May 23, 2021)

[QUOTE="oldfella1962, post: 8769193, member: 30478"

Those days are long, long gone, never to return.

One of our NCO's at RAF Lakenheath was home-brewing beer in our operations center supply closet. Since he planned on sharing the batch with everybody anyway at our next quarterly beer bash, it would be more convenient.
Yep, if we flew our quarterly quota of "sorties" the command provide cases of beer for a celebration.

Also if you broke a record on the fastest bomb loading (very rare) your three man crew got a case of beer.

At Mountain Home AFB in Idaho they had a lottery with the prize being a kids red wagon filled with high-octane booze (Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, etc) and a 30-06 elk rifle. 

Heads would explode if you even tried to do that in today's military![/QUOTE]
Back in the 1980’s our B52 squadron had a fridge full of beer in the debriefing room. After every flight mission many a beer was consumed debriefing the flight. 
In Vietnam when famed Air Force Fighter Ace Robin Olds got some new pilots from the mainland he took them all to the O ‘Club to see how they could drink before he would start training them for combat missions.


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## JustUs4All (May 24, 2021)

It might be too late for this to be helpful but --

I hear Schmearnoffff is considering the legal implications of introducing suppositories.


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## Hilsman (May 24, 2021)

Da Possum said:


> ikr???


Think somebody needs a drank,,,,


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## greg_n_clayton (May 24, 2021)

JustUs4All said:


> It might be too late for this to be helpful but --
> 
> I hear Schmearnoffff is considering the legal implications of introducing suppositories.


They saying "shove it" is about to take on a new meaning !


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## TLooch (May 26, 2021)

I had a job on Hurlbert Field.  Had a cooler full of 6 month old beer, some busted.  Security Guard opened the cooler and said you need to get rid of this pronto.  I said OK, did it at another job site on the base, then gotta a call from the head of construction asking why I raked of booze but was very literate...


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## Para Bellum (Jun 2, 2021)

Try Hennigan’s scotch.  Kramer said, “No smell, no tell scotch.”


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