# Funerals



## PopPop (Sep 15, 2019)

I have attended two funerals this week, both heavy on the Christian stuff. It got me to thinking. I have never attended the funeral of an Atheist. I am curious of how that would go?


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## bullethead (Sep 15, 2019)

PopPop said:


> I have attended two funerals this week, both heavy on the Christian stuff. It got me to thinking. I have never attended the funeral of an Atheist. I am curious of how that would go?


You must wear heavy dark eyeliner,  a goat horn pendant,  capes...multiple, talk in a monotone voice,

Nah Im just kidding, if Ive ever been at a funeral of an Atheist I didnt know it.
Once dead, the surviving family may send them off with an insurance policy funeral


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## PopPop (Sep 15, 2019)

bullethead said:


> You must wear heavy dark eyeliner,  a goat horn pendant,  capes...multiple, talk in a monotone voice,
> 
> Nah Im just kidding, if Ive ever been at a funeral of an Atheist I didnt know it.
> Once dead, the surviving family may send them off with an insurance policy funeral



Lots of folks plan their own funerals, I have. Maybe an Atheist could shine some light on how they would like theirs to go.
For me, the Preacher gets about 10 minutes, then it's a party.


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## Artfuldodger (Sep 15, 2019)

Not from an Atheist perspective but my family has opted out of having funerals. When my Uncle died he didn't have a funeral.


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## PopPop (Sep 15, 2019)

Artfuldodger said:


> Not from an Atheist perspective but my family has opted out of having funerals. When my Uncle died he didn't have a funeral.



Same for my Dad. His would have been a mess any way.


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## WaltL1 (Sep 16, 2019)

Have never been to an Atheist's funeral. Don't really know any Atheists except for the heathens on here 
As for me, no funeral. Cremation and my ashes scattered at a location I have chosen.
The thought of being shut up in a box and buried under ground horrifies me.


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## PopPop (Sep 16, 2019)

WaltL1 said:


> Have never been to an Atheist's funeral. Don't really know any Atheists except for the heathens on here
> As for me, no funeral. Cremation and my ashes scattered at a location I have chosen.
> The thought of being shut up in a box and buried under ground horrifies me.


 
I too will be returned to dust. I think embalming is disgusting.


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## WaltL1 (Sep 16, 2019)

PopPop said:


> I too will be returned to dust. I think embalming is disgusting.


Geez I never even thought about the embalming part. Yuck. Yeah keep your hoses and nozzles out of my carcass and just slide me into the flames.


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## 660griz (Sep 16, 2019)

PopPop said:


> Lots of folks plan their own funerals, I have. Maybe an Atheist could shine some light on how they would like theirs to go.
> For me, the Preacher gets about 10 minutes, then it's a party.


I am hoping for cremation and an open bar. I am sure my family will have some religious words to say. Probably something along the lines of the Curly burial in City Slickers. "Lord, we give you 660Griz, try not to **** him off."


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## bullethead (Sep 16, 2019)

I would like to be creamated, have family and friends gather for a picnic and have them put some of my ashes in turkey shotshells so I can be a part of their hunts. The rest of the ashes they can do what they wish with. Bury them or spread them. I won't know the difference.


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## j_seph (Sep 16, 2019)

PopPop said:


> I too will be returned to dust. I think embalming is disgusting.


Are you Christian or atheist?


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## PopPop (Sep 16, 2019)

j_seph said:


> Are you Christian or atheist?



I love Jesus.


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## Baroque Brass (Sep 17, 2019)

My uncle was an atheist, much to the horror of his two over the top Christian sisters. They did their best to convert him on his death bed. He was cremated, per his request, and we held a very nice memorial service for him.


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## NCHillbilly (Sep 17, 2019)

A Viking funeral would be cool.


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## Lindseys Grandpa (Sep 17, 2019)

As i was laying in bed awaiting heart surgery i told my wife number 1 bury me in a suit and i am coming back and it will not be pretty. I then told her if not for my Mother still alive at the time she could cremate me and throw my ash's in a big lake where we played golf so ever time somebody hit a ball in it they could say that sorry rascal got my ball. I have been to a couple of funerals of people who were atheist and it appeared to me the family just pretended they were not.


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## fireman32 (Sep 17, 2019)

I don’t care for funerals that turn into a sermon.  It should be a celebration of the persons life, no matter their belief in my opinion. 
I’ve been a fireman to long to get cremated, just stick me in the ground somewhere.


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## atlashunter (Sep 20, 2019)

I've given this a good bit of thought and let my family know I don't want my memorial being used for a religious sales pitch by some preacher. I find that very distasteful and that in spite of being the descendant of three lines of preachers before me. If I have time to prepare it, maybe the reading of some final words saying goodbye. An expression of gratitude of not only having won the cosmic lottery of life but also having the great fortune to live a life filled with love, wonderful experiences, and good health. Perhaps the sharing of some ancient words of wisdom on the subject of dealing with death by Seneca. Let the tears flow if they must. Do not hold them back but do not force them either. Grieve in moderation then dry your tears and let go. Live the rest of your life with appreciation of every moment. Forgive me my transgressions and pass on to others whatever good may have come from knowing me. That and perhaps any memories others wanted to share. Maybe a song or two. To me it's a time to come together and mourn a loss but also to celebrate a life and whatever contributions that person made to the world.

I also do not want to be cremated or embalmed. Cremation seems like a waste of the nutrients our bodies could pass on to other life. Embalming seems vain. Throughout our lives we sustain ourselves on the death of other life. Then when our own death comes we put chemicals in our corpse to stall the return of what we took from nature? For what? What exactly are we trying to preserve at that point? Seems more grateful to me to return what we took and more healthy to demonstrate the letting go, that none of it was ever truly ours, only borrowed, and that now we can say enough and return it with a grateful heart. I'd like to be planted somewhere I can feed the trees.


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## 1gr8bldr (Sep 23, 2019)

Strange way of putting it, but the "best" funeral that I have ever been to was a non church goer, seemingly not a believer. No preaching, not even singing. Just his family, each taking a turn, chairs in the back yard, sharing memory's. It was the most respectful, honoring funeral that I could ever hope for. This is what I want. I need to convey this to my wife, yet, have a hard time planning, as if, that may set something in motion. I hate preaching at funerals. You got Sunday morning, sunday night, wednesday night and more to cram preaching down everyone's throat. It's always the same thing, always the same verses read. Same old ritualistic service. My mother would say that she wants it all to be preaching, hopeful that someone might get saved at her funeral,  which I would respect. I admire someone diminishing oneself to exalt another, yet,  what she don't realize is how everyone's heard it, potential targets are  offended by it, it, being believe or burn, and those leave not with a respect of that one's life, allowing a mindset of a lite shinning, but rather a mindset of offense.


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## Artfuldodger (Sep 23, 2019)

atlashunter said:


> I've given this a good bit of thought and let my family know I don't want my memorial being used for a religious sales pitch by some preacher. I find that very distasteful and that in spite of being the descendant of three lines of preachers before me. If I have time to prepare it, maybe the reading of some final words saying goodbye. An expression of gratitude of not only having won the cosmic lottery of life but also having the great fortune to live a life filled with love, wonderful experiences, and good health. Perhaps the sharing of some ancient words of wisdom on the subject of dealing with death by Seneca. Let the tears flow if they must. Do not hold them back but do not force them either. Grieve in moderation then dry your tears and let go. Live the rest of your life with appreciation of every moment. Forgive me my transgressions and pass on to others whatever good may have come from knowing me. That and perhaps any memories others wanted to share. Maybe a song or two. To me it's a time to come together and mourn a loss but also to celebrate a life and whatever contributions that person made to the world.
> 
> I also do not want to be cremated or embalmed. Cremation seems like a waste of the nutrients our bodies could pass on to other life. Embalming seems vain. Throughout our lives we sustain ourselves on the death of other life. Then when our own death comes we put chemicals in our corpse to stall the return of what we took from nature? For what? What exactly are we trying to preserve at that point? Seems more grateful to me to return what we took and more healthy to demonstrate the letting go, that none of it was ever truly ours, only borrowed, and that now we can say enough and return it with a grateful heart. I'd like to be planted somewhere I can feed the trees.


Aren't there state laws that one must be embalmed, if not cremated?

I wonder what the laws are for where one can be buried? Can you get buried in your back yard by your pets? I would still think you would have to be embalmed and in a vault.


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## Semi-Pro (Sep 23, 2019)

I told my wife i want a viking funeral. Put me on a raft and launch some flamin arrows at me.


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## atlashunter (Sep 23, 2019)

Artfuldodger said:


> Aren't there state laws that one must be embalmed, if not cremated?
> 
> I wonder what the laws are for where one can be buried? Can you get buried in your back yard by your pets? I would still think you would have to be embalmed and in a vault.



Not required in Georgia at least.

https://miltonfieldsgeorgia.com/5-commonmyths-about-green-burials/

There are natural burial cemeteries around the country. I'm not sure about the laws governing where a person can be buried.


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## Spotlite (Sep 23, 2019)

Artfuldodger said:


> Aren't there state laws that one must be embalmed, if not cremated?
> 
> I wonder what the laws are for where one can be buried? Can you get buried in your back yard by your pets? I would still think you would have to be embalmed and in a vault.


I believe embalming is more funeral home policy rather than law, if a viewing ceremony is performed.

I was told that you can be buried anywhere but you must still go through a funeral director to do so, apparently for permits and other state regs. 

At least for GA.


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## Spotlite (Sep 23, 2019)

I don’t care what my family does with me, I only have one request - make sure I’m actually dead before they do it. 

If they cremated me I wanted to be taken to Gatlinburg and put half my ashes there, and charter a deep sea fishing trip and dump the rest of me out there somewhere.

If I’m buried, get the cheapest ceremony and box available.


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## SemperFiDawg (Sep 25, 2019)

PopPop said:


> I have attended two funerals this week, both heavy on the Christian stuff. It got me to thinking. I have never attended the funeral of an Atheist. I am curious of how that would go?



The service is not for the dead but the living.  If my loved ones want to toss me in the river, if that helps, count me in.  If they want a fancy Church service, I'm OK with that.  Whatever helps them get through it.


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## specialk (Oct 1, 2019)

PopPop said:


> Lots of folks plan their own funerals, I have. Maybe an Atheist could shine some light on how they would like theirs to go.
> For me, the Preacher gets about 10 minutes, then it's a party.



Knew a lady that planned hers....picked out all her pall bearers...trouble was half of them died before she did.......


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## JB0704 (Oct 10, 2019)

I’ve never been to an atheist funeral either.  Been to a ton of religious ones.  Each reinforces my preference.......my wife n kids know to cremate me, and dump my ashes in a random ditch on the way home.  I don’t want them going out of their way or feeling like they gotta “visit” me later.  No funerals.  No memorial.  Just cook some bbq n have a good time.  Saves a ton of $$ n everybody gets to go on about they business.


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## JB0704 (Oct 10, 2019)

I used to say dump my ashes in the grill so I’m always home fer dinner.......but they thought that was gross


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## Bobby Linton (Oct 10, 2019)

I would prefer nothing at all, but in reality funerals are for the living and I dont object to anything that will ease my remaining loved ones pain.  I've been hard headed my whole life.  I don't want to make a point after my death that would make things harder on them.


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## Rick Alexander (Oct 10, 2019)

Sort of hard to write this but my dad was adamant about not wanting a preacher to speak over him as he wasn't a believer and also didn't want someone saying anything about him that didn't know him.  He was cremated but at his memorial service his friends from the military (he was a Colonel in the Ntl Guard) spoke about him even though he had been retired for 30 years from there.  The guy that spoke was a fantastic public speaker and came up through the OCS school dad was a commanding officer of.  Several of his old students also spoke highly of their experience with dad at that school.  Then a guy at his job (dad was a retired PhD chemist at the Centers For Disease Control) spoke about the things serious and funny that happened over the years at CDC - also an amazing public speaker that everyone was blown away by.  Also, dad was an accomplished musician that inspired my son to become a professional musician so my son and dad's uncle played several songs on several different instruments (dobro - fiddle - guitar).  This just happened to be the only thing dad requested was there to be music at his funeral as that's what gave him the most joy in life other than family.  I also spoke about our family life.  He wasn't a perfect dad - he could be very rigid and tough - but he came up poor and hard and we just wanted my brother and I prepared for how life could be.  He was tough - but he sure did a good job being a dad.  He was not a Christian - but he sure lived a good upstanding life.  He helped those that needed it - as long as they seemed to be trying to work hard at it themselves.  He didn't believe in giving something for nothing.  Is he in a better place - I don't know but he sure isn't suffering from all the issues he had at the end of his life.  I think he was satisfied with how things went both during his life and how things went for his funeral.


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## Madman (Oct 10, 2019)

Semi-Pro said:


> I told my wife i want a viking funeral. Put me on a raft and launch some flamin arrows at me.


I told my wife the same thing.  She said; "Let's have a practice run."


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## bullethead (Oct 10, 2019)

Madman said:


> I told my wife the same thing.  She said; "Let's have a practice run."


Lololololol


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## LittleDrummerBoy (Oct 11, 2019)

We honored my dad's requests for his final arrangements: cremation, ashes scattered in the duck marsh, no preacher, open bar.

Likewise, we'll honor my mom's requests.  Christian music, Christian preacher at the service.  Cremation and ashes scattered in her home land.

I hope my wife and/or children honor my requests.  Humble burial on the cheap.  Evangelist preacher.  My funeral should not be about me.  I'm not there.  It should be for the living, and it may be the last time many of them hear the gospel.


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## Jim Thompson (Oct 11, 2019)

Funerals are something I've never understood, same thing with burials for that matter. Makes no sense to me that someone should have to spend money putting me in the ground or lighting me on fire.

I do understand that the theatrics are for the folks surrounding us, but I have spent a lifetime letting the folks around me know that I dont care one bit what they do with me, but please figure out how to do it for as close to free as possible.


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