# Hard times for me.......



## Phoelix (Jul 19, 2012)

Separated again for the 7th or 8th time in the last few years from my wife of nearly 22 years. It's not the contemplation of divorce that upsets me, it's the fact that I feel sooooo sorry for her...my heart melts for her, but I know whats the best for me....Im 51, and she's 42, and begging me to come home, but I can't continue this vicious circle of pretending to be someone Im not.....Her standards are far different from mine, because of the way we were raised, and yes, I've tolerated poor house conditions, her sleeping in everyday, and just generally not taking care of me, for nearly 22 years, and my family and friends agree with me, time to move on....I have'nt 100% decided on divorce yet, but am at about 70/30 for just doing it and getting done with it.....I love her, but simply NOT IN love with her anymore....Im terrified, but want to be happy the rest of my life, and am more afraid of being alone. My friends and family say Im crazy for thinking I would be alone, but Im just not sure....Please pray that I make the right decision for both of us, and the rest of our lives....


----------



## Lukikus2 (Jul 19, 2012)

Prayer sent.

Don't let peers and family sway your descision.

Good luck.


----------



## Paymaster (Jul 19, 2012)

You and her are in my Prayers.


----------



## gtparts (Jul 19, 2012)

Invest in several sessions with a family counselor that is a strong Christian. If there is any real possibility of change, it shouldn't take too long for them to find that out. Sounds like she needs to figure out whether she is willing to change to keep you or is she unwilling.

Prayer sent.


----------



## ross the deer slayer (Jul 19, 2012)

Prayers sent. Make wise choices and God Bless


----------



## Vmarsh (Jul 19, 2012)

love is a choice, do whats right.


----------



## Ronnie T (Jul 20, 2012)

I'm praying for your marriage.


----------



## HighCotton (Jul 24, 2012)

Why do you feel sorry for her?  Do you think she deserves better or do you deserve better?

Why is it her responsibility to take care of you?  What does this mean?

Does she work?  Why is she sleeping late and not taking care of the house?  Do you pitch in with household chores?

Marriage is a partnership.  It sounds to me like neither one of you cares to do anything to make it work.


----------



## Huntinfool (Aug 1, 2012)

Will be praying for the situation.

Can I gently hold a mirror?

Your post reads very much like a list of all the things that she's done to contribute to the situation with your marriage deteriorating and all the things you've "put up with".

Have you done some serious soul searching and asking God to reveal to you the things that you've done to contribute to the problems as well?

If it's 100% the spouse's fault, then there is no marriage that can be saved.  100% of the time, even in the worst situations and offenses, both spouses have contributed to the problems that led to the ultimate betrayal/seperation/distance...whatever it is.

Ask God to show you your faults in this.  Ask him to help you fix those faults and ask her forgiveness for your parts.  If she's unwilling to admit her end and ask the same forgiveness, then there likely is no hope.  But, at least, you've done your part in a godly way.


----------



## StriperAddict (Aug 1, 2012)

Prayers also, but please heed the counsel from HF's post. Can't add more than that.


----------



## pstrahin (Aug 1, 2012)

Huntinfool said:


> Will be praying for the situation.
> 
> Can I gently hold a mirror?
> 
> ...





StriperAddict said:


> Prayers also, but please heed the counsel from HF's post. Can't add more than that.



I am with these guys.  I had to take a deep look inward to change the way I look at my marriage.  Praying for your family to remain and become strong.


----------



## BRIAN1 (Aug 2, 2012)

Prayers sent.


----------



## Core Lokt (Aug 7, 2012)

prayers said


----------

