# What's your story? (AKA: Care to share your testimony?)



## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

I get asked a lot, both in PM and on here, exactly what happened to make me leave the church.  I have given out bits and pieces over the last 4 years I've been a member here, but I don't think I've ever given my 'testimony'.  So I thought I would give you the main outline and maybe you will have a better understanding of 'me'.

I would also love it if any of you would care to share your testimony, where you have been and how you came to the faith that you have now, so that I (and others) can better understand and get to know 'you'.  Be as detailed or as vague as you want.  I think if anyone is willing to share their story, many of us would love to hear it.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

My journey:

Ok well here's my background.
My mother was raised RLDS (Reorganized Latter Day Saints, the 'reformed' movement of the Mormons) and later became a fairly devout Catholic.  When I was born, she had become a Jehovah's Witness, and some of my earliest memories are at the Kingdom Hall and following her around from door to door handing out the Watchtower (I was about 2).

My father was no religion at all, and made things very difficult for my mother when it came to religion. He would beligerently drink shots while she had the JW elders over for bible study, etc. and I never knew him to ever step foot in a church my entire life until right before he died.

In 1975 we lived in Puerto Rico and my father had an artery burst in his neck and nearly bled to death.  He needed many blood transfusions, and my mother was told by the JW's that if she signed for the transfusions, she would be excommunicated.  Not being a fool, my mother signed for the transfusions.  I believe this was the tail end anyway of many questions my mother had about the deity of Jesus and struggled with it... when she died I found many letters she had exchanged with her best friend over her struggles between her Catholic beliefs and the JW beliefs, but that's probably for another thread. 

After she left the JW's, she never became a member of another church again.  We as kids were allowed to attend church with friends if invited or if we wanted to go, but she never went again.  I became 'saved' at the age of 9 during vacation bible school at a church in Jonesboro, GA that I don't even remember the name of.

Due to  my father's job, we moved quite often during my childhood so I did not become majorly involved in church until junior high.  I spent an average of 3 nights per week at church in youth groups and then again on Sundays.  I was on the softball team and also babysat in the nursery during one of the morning services.

In 1985 my best friend invited me to her church, it was Southern Baptist, and I liked it. Alot.  So I became a regular member there.  I wanted to be baptized, so I talked to my mom about it.  She told me that she would let me get baptized after I had gone there for a year, because she wanted me to be sure I knew what I was doing.  So I waited my year and was baptized.  My mother would not attend my baptism. I was very active in the church and it's youth activities, including choir and volunteer work.  

In 1987 my best friend was getting married, and I was helping her plan her wedding. I suggested we get a band for dancing at the reception.  She then told me that we didn't believe in dancing.   This was a shock to me and it was the beginning of my search for a church home that believed in and had the same understandings as I did  I felt if I stayed there even though I didn't believe what they did, it made me a hypocrite.  So I left.

After that, I dated a Mormon guy and had the missionaries come out and talk to me, and eventually I joined the Mormon church.  After going to services twice, I realized I had not been given all of their doctrine and decided they were not the church for me... so I left them and broke it off with my Mormon fiance.

In 1991 I met my ex husband, got pregnant and got married.  My daughter was born in 1992 and soon after I divorced my husband.  I wanted to get my life back on track and found a non-denominational church home which I really liked, and was baptized again, because I felt like I needed to 'wash off' the Mormon baptism I had done.

In 1994, my father left my mother a week before their 25th wedding anniversary for another woman.  A month later my mother was diagnosed with inoperable cancer.  Four months later she was dead.  I still have the letter that I wrote to her, telling her how afraid I was that she didn't believe in Jesus and wouldn't be in heaven with me.  I have guilt for that to this day.

I became very focused on  my relationship with Jesus.  I would have been considered a 'zealot', just as many of you on here are.  I was firm in my faith in Jesus.  Given the choice, I would have picked death over denying him.  I did not curse or swear.  I listened to nothing but Christian music and read only books about spiritual warfare (I had an issue with anxiety), etc. and spent lots of time at Christian bookstores.  My baby and I were always doing things with the church, yet I felt it was still lacking, I had lots of questions that weren't answered.  

I tried out a "spirit filled' church and fell in love with it. The music was awesome although the speaking in tongues thing I didn't really know what to think of.  I went there for a while but then stopped and went back to the 'calm' church.

I got off track for a while when I met my second husband, and he found it very difficult to adjust to me always wanting to do the 'christian' thing.  After about a year and a half, I finally told him that I couldn't marry him because he wasn't a christian.  He started going to church with me and was 'saved'.  We married in 1997.

On Easter Sunday 1999, my daughter and my husband and I all were baptized (their first time... my fourth) at a non-denominational church. I felt everything was right with the world.

I moved back here to GA and tried to find a church home.  I went to Methodist churches, Grove Level, a Lutheran church and two other non-denominational ones.  Then I got connected with some in the Messianic movement. This answered many of my issues with the bible because it was more 'Jewish'.  I felt I had finally found my 'home'.  And I felt I was being called to minister to the Jews and bring them back to Jesus. 

I began working with Jews to see why they didn't' believe in Jesus.  Their answers surprised me.  I then began a 2 year study with both christians and Jews, and in the end decided that I had been deceived all that time, that Jesus was not the truth and that I could no longer be a Christian, so I left the church.

I still remember the day I admitted to myself that I didn't believe.  It was one of, if not the most, heartbreaking days of my life.  I had spent many hours on my knees before God, begging him to let me know which way was right, begging him to show me what to do, and that day I begged him to forgive me if I was wrong.  I literally shed buckets of tears at His feet, telling him why I didn't believe it anymore and that if I didn't wake up the next morning (from punishment) that I prayed he would have mercy on my soul,that all I wanted was to follow the truth and I didn't feel it was Jesus any longer.

I woke up the next morning and felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.  And I haven't looked back since.

Of course,  there is much more in between the lines here, so if you want to know anything else, just ask.  I am not shy about how I got to where I am today.


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## footjunior (Jan 12, 2009)

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

footjunior said:


> Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.



How about you?


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## Huntinfool (Jan 12, 2009)

Wow!  That is....well, it's quite a story.  I'd gathered pieces of it.  But it's nice to read the whole thing.

Thanks for putting it out there.




Parts of mine are entirely too personal to put up here.  

But my religious background is that I'm a preacher's kid.  My dad was a Methodist minister for 28 years before he left the pastorate and became an evangelist for the Methodist church when I was 18.

He'd had enough of the crud that goes on behind the scenes in many churches.  Unfortunately, I think what happened at several churches caused a lot of damage in my family.

My mom is completely out of church and it's tough to watch that when my dad is so dedicated.  But there are a bunch of family issues that go much deeper than just a church.  Let's just say that growing up in a preacher's family is tough.

I've actually been a lot like Dixie for a lot of years.  I wanted to believe.  I was told to believe.  But I just wasn't sure if it was real or not....which of course I couldn't tell anybody.

Not long ago, my "thin venear of perfection" came crashing down on me and everything that I had built to protect myself and to project an image of something that wasn't true all got detroyed because of some decisions I made.  That's the part that is too personal to put on here.

I said to somebody the other day, that year was the worst year of my life....and it was the best year of my life.

I've posted on here before that I had and encounter with Christ that was unmistakable.  I was shown more grace and mercy by him and by the people around me than I'll ever be able to describe and certainly don't deserve. 

But thank God that grace isn't fair.

I know that's all very vauge.  But, it's a great life to be living right now.  Dixie, I know you don't believe it.  I've said this before...I hope one day you have an experience like mine.  You'll change your mind!


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## crackerdave (Jan 12, 2009)

I hope this thread will be what you asked - sharing testimonies,not picking them apart.Criticism doesn't belong in this thread.imho. Honest questions - yes.
As so many folks seem to say nowadays: "It is what it is."
Some of my testimony is in the thread Hevishot started a while back: "Can you commit suicide and go to heaven?" It would take the better part of an hour to type it again,so I'd rather not.

Truce,Dixie?


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

rangerdave said:


> I hope this thread will be what you asked - sharing testimonies,not picking them apart.Criticism doesn't belong in this thread.imho. Honest questions - yes.
> As so many folks seem to say nowadays: "It is what it is."
> Some of my testimony is in the thread Hevishot started a while back: "Can you commit suicide and go to heaven?" It would take the better part of an hour to type it again,so I'd rather not.
> 
> Truce,Dixie?



I don't want this thread to be a debate or question thread... I would really like it to just stay people's testimonies or stories about their spiritual journey.  If someone has an issue or question about something I have in my journey or something in someone else's testimony, it would be POLITE if they could start another thread or ask it in PM.  So yes, I agree 

Dave, maybe you could copy and paste your testimony in this thread too, or put a link to your post in that other thread so people can read it?  I hadn't kept up with that thread so I haven't seen it yet.


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## crackerdave (Jan 12, 2009)

Dixie Dawg said:


> I don't want this thread to be a debate or question thread... I would really like it to just stay people's testimonies or stories about their spiritual journey.  If someone has an issue or question about something I have in my journey or something in someone else's testimony, it would be POLITE if they could start another thread or ask it in PM.  So yes, I agree
> 
> Dave, maybe you could copy and paste your testimony in this thread too, or put a link to your post in that other thread so people can read it?  I hadn't kept up with that thread so I haven't seen it yet.



Copy and paste is beyond my "computer dummy" skill level.
That thread has a lot of good readin' in it.
I bumped it.I look back at it,and I see how many of those people don't post here anymore and it makes me feel bad.

Mine's on page 3 post #134.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

rangerdave said:


> Copy and paste is beyond my "computer dummy" skill level.
> That thread has a lot of good readin' in it.
> I bumped it.I look back at it,and I see how many of those people don't post here anymore and it makes me feel bad.
> 
> Mine's on page 3 post #134.




Here is the  link to Dave's testimony:

http://forum.gon.com/showpost.php?p=2096377&postcount=134

(and as an aside, I'm glad I read it.  I have a different (read: better) sense about you than I did before, and I think that aside from the doctrinal differences, we probably have more in common than either of us thought.  I hope the rest of this thread will do the same for all of us in this part of the forum)


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## fivesolas (Jan 12, 2009)

I will try to brief...

I was raised Lutheran. It seemed to be a happy medium for my parents with my Dad being Baptist and my Mom Roman Catholic. 

I believed in Christ back then because that was what I was taught to believe. At age 13 I was given a choice whether I would continue to attend church with the family, and chose not to. 

There were off and on times when I thought about God/Jesus and the Bible, but basically lived my own life by my own rules. In college I became more interested in the spiritual and supernatural. I researched and tried other religions, but ended up creating my own beliefs. I also experimented with psychedelic drugs (acid, shroom, pot) to reach the "other side." 

I was ready to leave the country and hit the hippy trail, making my way to Amsterdam and ultimately India. But God in His mercy chose to reveal Christ to me and changed that plan. 

By this time my beliefs were a mixture of eastern mysticism, earth worship, satanism, buddhism, and new age. To make a long story short, as I was in the midst of making plans to leave the country on a spiritual quest, I was arrested for stealing. 

This landed me with fines, community service, and 30 days of home incarceration. I took 2 jobs to pay off the fines. One morning I was let go early from my morning job and decided to head to the mall to get a book. I was off the reservation a bit, but the cops wouldn't know. 

I was looking for a book on satanism in order to try some spells/incantation/whatever so I could get some pot. (i figured the devil liked weed). I grabed a book I thought was on satanism called "Satan is Alive and Well on Planet Earth." by Hal Lynsay. It turned out to be a Christian book that addressed sin, drug usuage, the occult, witchcraft, et. and shared the Gospel. 

For some reason (God) I was facinated with the book. I read the book and shared with my friends, who met it with minimal curiosity and mostly disdain. 

One girl that stayed with us in our apartment was into the psychic thing, tarot cards, et. and hated the Jesus idea the most. We are "debating" a bit about it one morning with my argument being "But what if it is true?" And hers being "prove it." I had read in the book how Jesus and His followers had power over the devil. If the things in the Bible were true, then surely there were demons/devils among us. The followers of Jesus used Jesus' name to cast out demons. 

This girl's boyfriend was an atheist so I figured I would try out Jesus' name on him. When I did he became very angry and yelled at us. This didn't convince me that Jesus was the truth, but did serve to make me with the argument! lol 

I looked to the girl and said, "See! demons!" 

I expected her to laugh it off, but she actually burst into tears and ran out of the apartment. I was a bit taken back, but figured her boyfriend yelling at her probably just upset her. After a few minutes I went outside to see what upset her so much and found her on the back side of the apartment complex crying. 

This is when God for His own reasons and purpose chose to make Himself known to me. 

As I approached her I start to sense/feel a wonderful presence. (I was sober, lol) I put my hand on her shoulder and asked her what was wrong, when suddenly I felt like something in my chest "broke" and something went out of me. 

Next I felt what can only be described as a rushing warm wind beginning at the top of my head and "pouring" into me and filling my whole body. The feeling of it was pure love, joy and peace. I felt as it was happening something physically wash over my eyes, and begin to see a brillant soft light, but the light was filling me. 

Every ounce of my being cried out to God and I knew this was God doing this. But at that moment I suddenly realized I did not know who this God was. To me He was a stranger. So I asked...

"Who are you?" 

In my mind and so very clear I heard the sound of a man's voice, so gentle and full of authority say 'I am Jesus' 

In an instant I knew that the God who made heaven and earth, the Creator, is Jesus. I was excited, stunned, amazed...all at the same time. I then asked in my heart what I should do and this time felt impressed to pray. 

I turned to the girl and told her we needed to pray. She agreed and I prayed, "Lord, if we have been deceived all this time, please open our eyes so we can see." 

When I went back up to the apartment it seemed at first like everything changed. It wasn't a cool hippy pad anymore...it was evil and rebellion against God. 

It kinda freaked me out so I called on the Lord for help and He showed me where a Bible was. From that moment on I have heard the Lord most clearly in the Scriptures. 

That was almost 16 years ago. I have not been a perfect Christian, but I have never been the same. Jesus is the One True God. The Bible is His book, and the Christians are His people. 

-five


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## crackerdave (Jan 12, 2009)

Dixie Dawg said:


> Here is the  link to Dave's testimony:
> 
> http://forum.gon.com/showpost.php?p=2096377&postcount=134
> 
> (and as an aside, I'm glad I read it.  I have a different (read: better) sense about you than I did before, and I think that aside from the doctrinal differences, we probably have more in common than either of us thought.  I hope the rest of this thread will do the same for all of us in this part of the forum)



I hope so,too.
I just re-read that post and it wasn't the one I was really thinking of.The testimony I gave was a pm to somebody that was contemplating suicide.It wasn't pg  - more like R rated.


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## gtparts (Jan 12, 2009)

Mr. Ranger, With your kind permission:



			
				rangerdave said:
			
		

> I have read every post up to this point,and it was worth every minute of the time it took.Many good points have been made.
> I suffer from depression and take medication for it.I have contemplated suicide - that is why I finally swallowed my pride and went to see a doctor,who is a Christian just as I am.The medication he prescribed has helped,and I DO NOT feel that my faith has been diminished by it,or that my going to a doctor for help is a sign of weak faith.That would be a very foolish thing to think,as God gives the ability to humans to learn how to heal other humans.
> My answer to any that think depression or medications to treat it are some sort of "cop-out" is this: Walk a mile in my shoes before you make your judgements. Yes,there are many who think there's a pill for every problem,and many doctors and pharmacists who are only too happy to sell 'em some,but it's ridiculous to lump everybody in that category. Anybody that has not experienced total despair and real depression has no right to an opinion about it,unless they just enjoy looking foolish.Walk that mile first,then I'll listen to you.
> Israel,you probably ruffled the feathers of many of the OSAS crowd,but I personally believe you're right - if a person says they're saved but continues to repeat sin after sin and ignore what God has said about serving Him and being a light to the world - how long will God have patience with that person? Will He "take 'em out" or keep going upside his head with hardships in life,trying to get him to get back on the path? Does His patience go on indefinitely? I think not.I'm not of the opinion that such a person will lose their salvation,just that God will "cut them off" by ending their life on earth sooner. I think it is very dangerous to try God's patience.
> ...


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## footjunior (Jan 12, 2009)

Dixie Dawg said:


> How about you?



Well... mine isn't near as interesting, but you asked for it. 

I grew up going to the same church my entire life. Both of my great-grandfathers on my mom's side had been the pastor of the church for many years before their deaths. My paternal grandfather had been a pastor at another church for a couple of years before his death as well. My aunt is an assistant pastor at a large church in Athens, GA. My mom plays the piano at my old church, my dad plays the guitar at the church, great aunt plays organ, I used to play drums when I went there. My mom works for the denomination's (Congregational Holiness. If you're not familiar with that label, just think of it as Pentacostal) headquarters in Fayetteville, GA. To make a medium-sized story a little shorter... my family is very involved with the church. The church is now at about 120 members. It was and still is very fundamentalist.

I was a Christian for all of my early life. I was "saved" at age 13 during a summer Christian school called Canaanland.

I began having doubts about Christianity at around age 16. Around the age of 17 I went from Fundamentalist Christianity to agnosticism and then quickly to atheism all within about a year. There were many things that happened around that time that led me to see things in a different light. The first and foremost was learning about evolution through a biology class in high school. Our high school teacher was also a fundamentalist Christian and a local Sunday school teacher, so I didn’t exactly get the full explanation of evolution. I thought it was interesting and researched it on my own. I found that after learning more about evolution I was unable to deny it’s ability to explain everything in biology. This led me to wonder if the Bible was infallible. If the Bible said that the world was created in 6 days about 6 thousand years ago, and scientific evidence pointed to a much older universe, then whom was right? There was simply too big of a difference between to the two to make any compromises. It was a battle between belief and evidence, and I couldn’t bring myself to disregard the evidence, so I threw away the Biblical origin and accepted the Darwinian explanation of the diversity of life.

If I weren’t brought up as a fundamentalist, all would have been good. I would have still been a Christian, just one that also believed in evolution. The problem was that I had just accepted that the Bible was not infallible and if there perhaps one error that the “inspired” authors had made, who had the right to say that there couldn’t be more? As someone once said, “If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?” This line of reasoning in my mind also coincided with me learning about other religions (past and present ones) which I thought were just absolutely ridiculous. Gods residing on Mt. Olympus ? 72 virgins for being a martyr? Obviously, I thought, these religions were created by men who created Gods in their image, and not the other way around. Around this time I also learned about freethinking. I threw away all the subjective feelings and indoctrination I had about Christianity and looked at things through the lens of freethinking. What I found was that Christianity was just as ridiculous as other religions, I had just thought of it as normal because to me and my surroundings, it WAS normal.

The last few years have been nothing but a continuous stream of reconfirmation of my atheism. The more I educate myself and learn more about the world and other people, the more I feel confident about my non-religiosity. I don't have any atheist friends, at least that I know of. All of my friends are Christian, and they all know that I'm an atheist. My friends and I have many debates on various religious subjects, and I honestly think they’re entertaining.

I consider myself an atheist under what I believe is the most common definition: I'm atheistic with regards to manifest gods, but agnostic towards pure deism. I don't accept truth via other people's revelations and I believe that the scientific method is our greatest tool in the search for truth.

I'm now 21 years old and currently a student at Georgia Tech.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 12, 2009)

Thanks fivesolas and footjunior!  
I for one certainly have a very different insight on both of you, and that is a very good thing.  I think it's easier to get along or be 'tolerant' of others when you know a little about where they have come from.

fivesolas, I had a somewhat similar experience involving a ouija board... will start a thread on that later tonight (unless someone beats me to it!  ) but right now I'm headed to bed after pulling a night shift... keep 'em comin' y'all!


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## DYI hunting (Jan 12, 2009)

Testimony?  Hmmm, this is going to be sooo long...

Well I never really left the church, but I am not a member of any church either.  I guess I would be described as a fair-weather church attendee for the most part. 

Grew up Baptist and went to church every Sunday till I was about 13 or 14 when I was given the option of attendance.  I stopped going.  

For as long as I can remember, I have believed in God.  I consider myself a Christian, but I have never been saved (I know, no need for lectures).  I have tried to accept the Bible as fact, but always find myself questioning the science and history behind parts of it and how the majority of the worlds population was going to heck. (but that is for another thread).  

When I was married at 16, I started attending Church occasionally with my wife's family who went every Sunday.  Although I looked like a troublemaker with ripped jeans and heavy-metal t-shirts on, I was actually a nice guy who didn't smoke, do drugs, or drink.  One Sunday, at a church my in-laws attended that we had went to only a couple times, I felt full of emotion and the need to go to the alter.  I kneeled down and felt someone place their hand on my shoulder, then felt someone place their hand on my other shoulder.  Two men were praying loudly with me and I went from praying to just listening.  The song was over and they were still there praying with their hands on my shoulders.  I finally was able to stand up and I saw the two hands I felt on my shoulders belonged to the preacher and a deacon.  I headed back towards our pew when the preacher again put his hand on my shoulder and said "tell all these people what God has just done for you".  I didn't feel I was saved, but being stopped in front of the church by the preacher and put on the spot in front of a bunch of strangers, I spoke up saying he saved me.  At the end of church I left and swore I would never go again.  I was embarrassed, ashamed and felt horrible. 

Soon after I had joined the Army and shipped off.  While in the Army we never attended Church, but I would attend services when the Chaplin would have them in the field.  Did spend some time reading the Bible, but that was about it.

After returning from the Army, I started very occasionally attending church again and did for many years up until recently.  After Veteran's Day, I felt a strong calling to serve the country again.  I approached my wife and discussed it with her.  Then out of the blue, I started seeing what I would call signs.  At first I thought it may or many not be me just trying to justify military service again.  But then one day I was presented with a very difficult and sad situation.  I had stopped by the house and let my wife's babies (two dachshunds) out to go do their business.  They don't go out unsupervised and have never been out of the fenced yard.  I got sidetracked and a few minutes later went to call/look for them, but they were gone.  I searched and called for two hours and never heard or saw them.  Finally I called my wife because I had to leave.  My wife came home and continued to look for hours.  While working I was getting in a freight elevator and just gotten off the phone with my frantic wife who was crying and heartbroken.  I looked up, don't know why, but I did.  Up high written on the freight elevator I saw where someone had written "Jesus".  I went down a floor to where I was supposed to go and looked up and someone had written down "Christ" on the wall there.  Odd, but it lifted my spirits some.  On the way home I called my wife several times and she was still panicking figuring after 6 hours the dogs were probably dead or stolen.  I was on the way home to help search again when I turned on the radio.  The song that was on was "Let It Go" by Tim McGraw.  It went off, and I started flipping stations.  It was all commercials so I just settled on another country station with the DJ talking.  Then the next song started up, "Muddy Water" by Trace Adkins.  I started putting signs together like I had been for the Army.  The writing on the wall (literally) then 2 songs about religion that fit nicely to the situation.  I turned the radio off and called my wife and told her what I had seen/heard and how it seemed like more signs, but this time not about the military.  It started raining and all I could think about was the lyrics of "Let it Go".  I got off the phone after 10 minutes or so and somehow caught the end of a Christmas song and it was soon followed by "Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven" by Kenny Chesney.  At that point, I could not explain anything off anymore, and just started praying since it seemed like the right thing to do.  Within a minute of praying, my wife called saying it was raining there and one of the dogs returned home.  I was floored and told her to keep looking.  I went back to praying and thanked God for the safe return of the dog.  I finished and it was like she was waiting for me to finish because the phone range almost right away, the other dog had returned home.  Sure they were dogs but to my wife and kids they are part of the family.  I cannot explain the timing, seeing the writting on the elevator wall after years of riding it, or the songs.  Since then I have started attending Sunday service regularly and was give a study Bible from a friend that I have been reading.  Yes, I am still "lost" and going to you know where according to what the preacher says, but I am making progress and feel closer to God than I have ever in the past.


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## thedeacon (Jan 12, 2009)

*thanks everyone*

I was not raised in a religous family. 

My girlfriend lived very close to me and when we started dating kinda regular she told me she was starting to care for me but she could never marry anyone that was not a christian. I didn't like that to much because we fished a lot on Sundays. (by the way she is still my girlfriend) 43 years.
One Sunday I was sick and didn't go to church with her because I was sick  but between sunday school and preaching she caught me sliping away with my fishing poles. 

She said she didn't blame me for wanting to go fishing but she did blame me for lieing to her. Man the sugar dried up for almost  a month. 

Needless to say after that I was there singing as loud and the pk's that were there. I had a hard time with all the rules and the traditions so I started studing on my own, asking lots of questions. 

My wife is a self taught bible scholar. If I need help understanding anything she had the knowledge, patience and the ability to explain it. In fact the preacher used to call her a deaconess. 

Before we married I was baptized without any pressure from anyone. I have been faithful to her and God ever since then, although I was much older before I realized what being a Christian is all about. 

Because of her my entire  immediate family are Christians today. 

One Sunday my dad came to hear me preach and I baptized him that day. After that I baptized my Grandfather and many others.  All of this because my wonderful wife put her faith before me.

During Christmas holidays while teaching a teenage class they ask me what was the best gift I had ever gotten from my wife.

I told that number one was she lead me to Christ and number two was her purity when we married. 

There is much, much, much more but you can get the jest of it from there. 

Thank you for asking me to share


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## Randy (Jan 12, 2009)

I was raised in the Baptist church.  From as young as I can remember my Mother and Father took me to church.  The church was the same one they were married in and also where my Grandparents went.  A small (less than 50 people) little country Baptist church.  I was made to go, like it or not.  As a kid that church was boring.  I did not like going.  Only Old people went there.  Childrens Sunday School was all one class with kids from babbies to 16 years old in one room.  When I had the chance I went with friends to the Big Baptist Church down town.  It was lots more fun!

At 10 my parents divorced.  But my Mom kept her faith and drug us to church every Sunday to that little old church.  One of my trips to the Big Church was when I finally heard God calling me.  At 14 I accepted the Lord as my savior.  I grew up pretty fast from 10 to 14 haingv tohelp my Mother raise my two young sisters and at 15 started working after school.  At 16 I was woking 4-12 shift at the local cotton mill to help mom make ends meet (my ends anyway).

At about 17 I started questioning some of the things I saw in the Baptist church.   Not just some of the doctrine but also some of the members.  For one thing I had an affair wiht my Sunday school teacher!!  Sure I was out doing some things I should not be doing but guess who was there as well.  Yep in a small town you know everybody and see everything.  I saw people I held with great authority doing things they should not be doing!  It was then that I also began to see how some of the church members  "ran things" around the church.  They spent money on things I did not think were right.  I saw my Mom give that church her money that she worked so hard for and really could have used to raise her children.  I saw the church use that money in ways I felt was not appropriate.  Of course when I said something, Mom would give me that "that's between them and God."

I went out in search of other churchs over the years but have yet to find one I feel comfortable with.  Even that Big Church up town  that I liked so much as a kid is a place to be seen rather than a place to worship, at least that is how I see it!   

Through college I studied the Bible, discussed many beliefs with friends and people I met along the way.  I have learned a lot but still not settled as to a firm belief.  It seems that today I find God more on the river or in the woods than I do in any church I attend.  Churchs these days seem to be more of a social club than anything else.  And I ain't much of a social club person.


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## crackerdave (Jan 12, 2009)

Great thread,Dixie - I'm enjoying this! It definitely does give you a different perspective when you know a little about a person's past.


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## mtnwoman (Jan 12, 2009)

Thanks for sharing that DD. 

I've posted mine before and it's long and drawn out...I'll see if I can find and copy it here before I start in.


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## mtnwoman (Jan 12, 2009)

This is the short version, there are a lot more details in the actual process of the redemption and deliverance of my spirit. Feel free to ask me.
I did struggle before my deliverance with the desire for partying and feeling lonely when I didn't party, etc etc. Huge web of deceit from satan and his little demons...BUT when I did all I could do....THEN GOD.....and you know the rest. Delivered but damaged.





I was saved and baptized at the age of 12, I was on fire for Jesus and had been ever since I could remember. I wanted to be a missionary with Lottie Moon with all my heart.
Until....Lost my first husband and I guess I lost my mind. I was 23, had never drank or been to a club or bar or anything. Needless to say I was very angry with God. I met a musician who proceeded to lead me down into darkness and I didn't see light of day until I was 46. He wasn't a bad person....but he still thinks that if you're a pretty good person that God won't let you go to he ll.

During all that time, all those years, I still believed Jesus was the Son of God, I didn't think nor care if I died would I go to hedoublehockysticks, I was just in denial I guess.
Anyway years go by....I get divorced and still stayed on the road to hedoubletoothpicks, or at least I felt like I was already in emotional torment.

One morning, I woke up and said Dear Lord please help me I'm going under. It wasn't even one of those mornings where I had way too much to drink or anything.

I had been layed off from bellsouth after 20 yrs and was contracting out the work myself. I was ask to go to a pay station that was in a drug store and work for a week. I worked out of one little corner in the front taking phone payments. I was bored absolutely to death. Under the handmade counter was one book, just one...it was the Holy Spirit by Billy Graham. That book changed my life....thank ya Lord.
Either the same day or a few days later a local black pastor that I'd known for years from paying his bill, came in. Out of the clear blue I ask him if I could give him a tithe to his church....I'm thinking....gee did I just say that? I was making half the salary I was used to.
Anyway he said better yet come to one of our services.
My daughter and I and granddaughter did not miss one service for a year. There I was brought back into the fold that I had ran away from and back to my shepherd.

I knew that Jesus the good shepherd, left the ninety and nine and came and got me. He knew where I was all the time. Who put that book there? no one knew...why did the pastor come in so soon? why did I want to tithe? why did I go to his storefront store church in the middle of cracktown with maybe 20 members? Why? Because nothing ever snatched me out of the palm of HIS hand....Bible says so. They discipled us and we moved on, but were renewed in Christ.

Guess what my personal ministry is? Girls and young women in minimum security prisons. Had I never experienced all that crapola that I experienced in and around clubs, bars, alcohol, drugs and no telling what else, I wouldn't even have a first hand testimony for these girls.

That's why I believe once saved always saved.....unless I blaspheme the Holy Spirit.....Jesus said NOTHING will snatch you out of my hand.....even if you're mia for 33 yrs.

I always had boundaries other people around me didn't. I did a lot of sinful things, but I never got addicted to drugs, the drugs were all around me, living and singing in a rock'n roll road band. He snatched me back in the twinkleing of an eye. I had nothing to do with it....except to open the door the morning HE knocked so loudly on my heart....thank you Lord Jesus, thank you for being relentless, I don't deserve it, but I wanna thank ya Lord.

From the time I woke up that morning and said help me Lord, it still took me a few months to even realize what the heck was going on with me. 

Thank you God for your Son Jesus, who left the ninty and nine and came to get His lost lamb that didn't even know she was lost. Glory be to the Lamb of the Living God.

Sorry so long,
Love,
Ramblin' Rose LOL


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## crackerdave (Jan 12, 2009)

You are very right,Mtnwoman. Any ministry is much more effective if you've "been there,done that."
 I believe that is one big reason God allowed me to survive my past.It has helped me reach people who are in jail.


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## Doc_Holliday23 (Jan 12, 2009)

I'm the son of a Pentecostal preacher.  I have amazing parents who live the exact same way at church on Sundays as they do every other day of their lives.  For that reason I have never been a confused or jaded preacher's kid like many others.  I have been able to see what life is like for those who are in covenant with Christ and for those who are not.

For this reason I made my choice at a young age to follow Jesus and I have never once been sad that I did.  Thanks to being under wonderful spritual guidance both at church and in my home I know that the life of a Christian is not always perfect and therefore I've never had unrealistic expectations about how God should protect me from all bad things in my life.  We live on a sin-cursed planet and therefore, nobody's lives are 100% perfect 100% of the time.

My parents have been a shining example of the true nature of Christ: loving, merciful, uncompromising, willing to die for me, and never accepting anything but my best in all things.  I owe my Christian walk to them in entirety.  They have always been very down-to-earth parents, never being extreme in their judgements of me participating in any worldy events, like music or sports.  But they were also uncompromising on things that they, and I, knew weren't in my best interest.  They taught me to realize that not everything in this life is super-spiritual and God, a lot of the time, just lets us live our lives in the mundane everyday things.  The Bible says _"All things have I seen in the days of my vanity: there is a just man that perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man that prolongs his life in his wickedness.  Be not righteous over much; neither make yourself over wise: why should you destroy yourself ?  Be not over much wicked, neither be you foolish: why should you die before your time?  It is good that you should take hold of this; yes, also from this withdraw not your hand: for he that fears God shall come forth of them all."  _(Ecc 7:15-18)  Some things God does are not explainable and that is just fine.  Try to find happy mediums in your life, yet remain uncompromising on sin.  I've never resented the strong stance on many things that my parents did because we grew up in such a fun and happy home.  There was never any oppression to rebel from.

Because of these things I've never made the mistakes of getting involved in drugs or alcohol, hanging with the wrong crowd, being torn by peer pressure, or living with no fear of the consequences of sin.  I don't have to live with the consequences of past sins that have messed up my life.  Of course, I've sinned and do still sin, but not in ways that have drastic negative affects on my future.

Due in no small part to the faithfulness of my parents, God has always been faithful to me.  _"I was young and now am old and I've never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging for bread."  _He has blessed me with talents and prominence which I freely use to exalt him and not going to Church is really not an option for me on Sunday mornings.  

Some people think I have a boring testimony.  I thank God that he spared me ever having to go down those wicked roads that build "great testimonies."


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## mtnwoman (Jan 12, 2009)

Doc_Holliday23 said:


> Some people think I have a boring testimony.  I thank God that he spared me ever having to go down those wicked roads that build "great testimonies."



Your testimony isn't boring at all. It gives some of the rest of us HOPE that we can provide for our children what it takes for their testimony to be just like yours....just proves it can be done.
Thank you Jesus for showing us that!


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## Jeffriesw (Jan 12, 2009)

Doc_Holliday23 said:


> I'm the son of a Pentecostal preacher.  I have amazing parents who live the exact same way at church on Sundays as they do every other day of their lives.  For that reason I have never been a confused or jaded preacher's kid like many others.  I have been able to see what life is like for those who are in covenant with Christ and for those who are not.
> 
> For this reason I made my choice at a young age to follow Jesus and I have never once been sad that I did.  Thanks to being under wonderful spritual guidance both at church and in my home I know that the life of a Christian is not always perfect and therefore I've never had unrealistic expectations about how God should protect me from all bad things in my life.  We live on a sin-cursed planet and therefore, nobody's lives are 100% perfect 100% of the time.
> 
> ...



Not a bit boring to me Doc, Yours is a great testimony to Good and Godly Parents and a faithful God, That is pricelss!


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 13, 2009)

I think these are wonderful testimonies... and it's also nice to see that many have a lot in common in their journey to how they got here today, even though on the outside it may not seem so.

I hope more decide to share their story... remember, it can be as vague or as detailed as you want.  You never know, maybe your testimony will speak to someone here who has been struggling with something~


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## fishnguy (Jan 13, 2009)

These are interesting!

I was raised in a Baptist household and have always believed that Jesus is the Son of God, but at the 10 the Holy Spirit let me know that I needed to be saved. It was a Sunday night service. I accepted Christ as my savior.

Like most teenagers, I tried to live my own life and this carried over into adulthood, even though I attended church on a pretty regular basis. Seven and a half years ago I started actually reading my Bible because I worked side by side every day with a Baptist preacher. This caused me to really start to getting to know my Savior on a personal level. Preacher and I would have many great conversations too! During this time I was still "riding the fence" and trying to live life my way although I've never gotten into anything "wild". I just liked to have a few beers on occasion and frequented shady establishments. In 2005 I realized that it was time to let Jesus be Lord of my life. I'm not perfect and currently do not have as close of a personal relationship with Him as I did, but I still have a personal relationship with Him! I know it will not be taken away either! It's all my fault, but God is good all the time and will continue to work on me.

I thank Jesus for what he has done and what he will do!

1st. John 5:6 "........................ And it is the Spirit that beareth witness, because the Spirit is truth."


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## StriperAddict (Jan 15, 2009)

Just came across the doc file with my story...
____________________________________

Religious folk are some of the toughest people to reach with the gospel.  I know, I was one of them.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
<o> </o>
I grew up in a mainline protestant denomination church, went through all the confirmation classes, and sang in the adult choir when I was a teenager.  This particular church mostly centered on social issues and except for references to good portions of scripture, the way to life/salvation was never clearly presented to me. However, through my young life I just figured all was well. I was ‘religious’ and for the most part, stayed out of trouble.<o></o>
<o> </o>
My first introduction to the gospel of Jesus Christ came from <?xml:namespace prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st2ersonName><?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" /><st1:GivenName>Billy</st1:GivenName> <st1:Sn>Graham</st1:Sn></st2ersonName>’s telecasts.  My whole family would watch, too. It is interesting what goes on in a heart that gets a dose of truth. After the invitation, I was suprised no one else got the message, but even while my heart was hit by it, I went on without any real response.  I figured, I wasn’t a really BAD sinner like <st1:GivenName>Billy</st1:GivenName> said, was I?  So started my road away from the Lord.<o></o>
<o> </o>
College days brought more of the world into my life.  I tried as best as possible to be “good”, but the pull was there.  I slowly drew away from church and did the late night ‘club’ scene.  I knew in my heart that this type of world was empty, but it didn’t stop me from being a part of it.<o></o>
<o> </o>
A neighbor of mine who had moved away 5 years prior had made a trip home around Christmas.  Our friendship really soured before he left, so at first I wasn’t going to make plans to see him.  A few months before his visit, he called my home and I reluctantly took his call.  One thing I remember was him asking me if I read the bible. I don’t know how I responded, but that question stuck, and so I began to study.  I also got the impression that this former friend was a changed man, there was someting different that welcomed me into a short talk that night.  

Months passed and then he was in town to visit his family. When he asked to see me, I put down any past animosity I had and agreed to get together.  We met at my home and for four straight hours we talked about the scriptures. I was riveted!  I could also see he was a changed man for sure, the things different about him all centered on what I knew of the gospel and how God can take any life and redeem it for the better.  I knew this as head knowledge, but I also knew I was a sinner separated from God and needed to drop both “the world” and “religion” and put my trust in <st1:Sn>Christ</st1:Sn>. <o></o>
<o> </o>
He didn’t challenge me to receive <st1:Sn>Christ</st1:Sn> that evening, but after our talk, and from remembering those invitations by <st2ersonName><st1:GivenName>Billy</st1:GivenName> <st1:Sn>Graham</st1:Sn></st2ersonName>, I said to the Lord later that night, “How could I not receive you as my Lord?”.  <o></o>
<o> </o>
And so I was reunited with a long lost friend and united with <st1:GivenName>Jesus Christ the Lord</st1:GivenName> at the same time.   

I am enjoying the opportunity to live out “the rest of the story” now, with all its ups & downs.  God has been faithful throughout it all !


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## Mel (Jan 16, 2009)

Funny while I was reading topics in this forum, I wanted to post something about what I'm going through right now, but didn't know if it belonged in here [because it wouldn't really be a question or debate] or in the Prayer forum [because I wouldn't really be asking for prayers] then I saw this topic.  

My mom has always been fairly active in the church, I don't remember dad ever going.  As kids we went to VBS at the local Baptist church.  I went to church with a friend from school [5th grade] where I eventually got saved -- but didn't really _know_ what that meant.  So I knew the whole bit about God is good and read your Bible.  

Four or Five years ago, mom was active at a church.  On Wednesday evenings she would prepare the Wednesday night supper and I would help her.  She also did the Senior citizen lunches and I helped her with that.  I didn't go on Sundays, but I was around everybody enough that I knew most of the folks and the preacher.  Plus we knew most everybody because it was folks mom had grown up with.

I got saved again with that preacher, but have never been baptized.  I guess in a way I felt like mom pushed me away from it.  She was always shoving, "Give it to God" or He's keeping things from you, so you'll go to Him.  I couldn't have a conversation with her, without her bringing up God and what I _should_ be doing.  

But here's where my story begins I guess...

At 16 [1994] I was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Disease [kidney failure.]  I went on dialysis a few months later.  I had been in two Honors classes I had to drop, went from a 3.5 GPA top of my class, to barely graduating.  I was always the good kid, the smart one, the sweet child.  While my older sister and my brother were sex, drugs and rock and roll.  So of course... the "Why Me?" set in.  I became very angry.  I was sick and angry.  

After graduating high school, I stayed on dialysis for a long time.  I gave up.  I was just chillin' at home, waiting to die.  Because after all, that's what the doctor told me, right?  "Without a kidney transplant, you'll die."  Excuse me, what?  I've never had a sick day in my life, and overnight you're telling me I'm done?  

I basically just existed and wasted about 10 years of my life I'll never get back.  I survived a stroke in January of 2000.  Had other little surgeries and complications, but nothing major.

In 2007, I decided being sick was for the birds and that maybe I wasn't gonna just die and maybe I should get a kidney transplant.  A year later I was listed, 4 weeks after being listed I got a perfect match kidney.  

A year [2005] after that I found out I had a 65% blockage in my heart and have heart disease.  The years of dialysis were not kind to my body.  

About a year and a half [2006] after that I was in a bad wreck on a horse and carriage.  The carriage was rear-ended, I was thrown off, run over and dragged down the road.  Other than being bruised, I was alive.  I very easily could have been killed.

A year or so ago, the fella at the Publix deli started asking me questions when I requested low salt ham [for my heart.]  Commenting that I was too young to worry about sodium in the ham.  I briefly told him about my health and eventually about the carriage wreck I survived.  All with a smile on my face and commenting about how, yes, I know I've been blessed.  I've been SO blessed to have survived the things I have.

I've always strongly believed everything happens for a reason.  I'm a firm believer that He's in control and that He chooses who He puts these things on because He knows I can handle it.  But now I've reached the point where I'm like, just stop.  Leave me be!  I've gone through enough, don'tcha think?  Sheesh.

I have terrible anxiety left over from the carriage wreck.  I'm in counseling for Post Traumatic Stress.  I can't relax, I'm scared to death now of dieing or something else happening to me.  And guilt.  I feel SO guilty for being angry.  Then I'm angry because I can't feel my anger without the guilt.   I should be grateful to be alive!    

And I know it's because my faith is weak.  I'm not active in any church, I haven't read my Bible in I don't know how long and I'm just hanging out.  I'm surviving, but I'm not _thriving._  My heart is sad, I grieve for my lost health and the part of growing up I missed and I just want to cry out to Him to help me.  Except I don't cry anymore, I've become so numb, I show little emotion.

So that's where I'm at today.  I want to find my faith again.  I need that peace and comfort to know I'm gonna be ok and that He is in control and anything else that comes my way I can handle.


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## rjcruiser (Jan 16, 2009)

Mel said:


> So that's where I'm at today.  I want to find my faith again.  I need that peace and comfort to know I'm gonna be ok and that He is in control and anything else that comes my way I can handle.



Wow...that is an amazing story.  You are right, God has kept you from getting killed and it is obvious that He had a reason for keeping you alive.  I'll be praying for you that you find your faith again.  

I'd encourage you to start reading your Bible...specifically start with the Gospel of John.  I think the Lord will answer your questions through His Word.


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## Mel (Jan 16, 2009)

Thank you rjcruiser.  I have good days where I'm rested and feeling well, and I remember and thank God for keeping me here.  I know He's got big plans for me.  I just wish some days I could get to the big plans and quit getting knocked down.  Then I have my bad days where I do get knocked down and I don't want to get up anymore.  I question Him, I wonder Why?  Why does He keep challenging me.  

I will check into the book of John.  I'd also like to read Job and know more about what Job went through.  I'm sure once I find my faith again, once I trust Him to take care of me, I'll find the peace again and I won't have this anxiety or live in fear anymore.  I trusted Him once, I'll trust Him again one day, its just really hard some times when He let so much happen to me.


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## rjcruiser (Jan 16, 2009)

Mel said:


> I will check into the book of John.  I'd also like to read Job and know more about what Job went through.  I'm sure once I find my faith again, once I trust Him to take care of me, I'll find the peace again and I won't have this anxiety or live in fear anymore.  I trusted Him once, I'll trust Him again one day, its just really hard some times when He let so much happen to me.



Slightly off-topic here and I apologize to DD for doing this to her thread, but hey, what thread doesn't go off topic in this forum

Job would be a great book for you to read.  Another great book of someone overcoming adversity would be Ruth.  Ruth is probably an easier read than Job and a bit shorter as well  Another encouraging book to go through when in the midst of trials is James..especially the first chapter.  Always encouraging to me.


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## Mel (Jan 16, 2009)

rjcruiser said:


> Slightly off-topic here and I apologize to DD for doing this to her thread, but hey, what thread doesn't go off topic in this forum.


Yeah, I thought about that after I replied.  Sorry Dixie Dawg.  Thank you for the suggestions.


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## rjcruiser (Jan 16, 2009)

I guess I'll try and get us back on topic as I've strayed a bit in the past post of mine...

I grew up in California in a wonderful Christian home as well as a wonderful Christian church.  It was a non-denomination church, but I'd say it was pretty much on-par with the Baptist denomination.  I got saved at a young age and the Lord was good to me and kept me from many things that are potential pitfalls to many teens.

I ended up going to a Christian College in California and majored in Business.  I also was required to take a Bible Minor, which has served me well, even though at the time I wasn't too hip on some of the classes. 

During my senior year in college, I met my wife.  We dated for 4 months...got engaged and were married 4 months later.  People always asked if she was pregnant as to the reason we got married so quickly, but that wasn't the case.  She was from Covington and as she was graduating the same time I was, I didn't want to lose my southern bell.  Eventually, my wife's roots were tugging on her as well as myself and we moved back here.  (I must say, Georgia is much more gun friendly than Kommifornia )

Since being back here, we've been through some interesting church issues.  I don't want to be too specific, but I will say that it has caused me to grow more in His Word and make sure that my world view is based on His Word and not the other way around.  I am encouraged by this forum and even though we all don't always get along, it has caused much spiritual growth in my own life....causing me to search the scriptures daily.


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## Huntinfool (Jan 16, 2009)

Mel,

First, my heart grieves the loss of those years and the loss of your health with you.  I can't even imagine going through all of that and I can understand how faith might be tested and strained through as much.

It sounds like you are clearly in a place that you don't want to be in anymore.  The place of just existing and not living life the way it was intended.  I'll just tell you from my own experience that I had two options (kind of like Job) at one point in my life. 

I could "curse God and die" or I could choose to lean hard (and I mean hard because I didn't have the strength or will) and trust that God was powerful enough and loved me enough to pick me up and make things better.

For the first time, when I made that decision to just give up....that's when things got better.  I tried to control a lot of things in my life and strangely enough and I didn't do a very good job.


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## Mel (Jan 16, 2009)

I'm gonna ask the mods to split this thread, I hate my story got it so off topic of everyone sharing their testimony.



Huntinfool said:


> ...and trust that God was powerful enough and loved me enough to pick me up and make things better.
> 
> For the first time, when I made that decision to just give up....that's when things got better.  I tried to control a lot of things in my life and strangely enough and I didn't do a very good job.


Those are some of the very things I'm having a hard time with.  I trust _very_ few people.  I feel like I have to control everything because I can't handle anything being out of my control.  My life has been out of my control because of my health, and the wreck was really out of my control.  I was trapped and couldn't do anything to stop it.

And everyone always tells me how strong I am, I can't allow myself to break down and just surrender myself to God and let Him help me.  I've always felt like I had to tote it on my own and take care of myself because no one else was going to.


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## Huntinfool (Jan 16, 2009)

So tell me....how's trying to control everything working out for ya?







Probably about as well as it worked for me.  Took me 32 years to finally give up.


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## Mel (Jan 16, 2009)

Huntinfool said:


> So tell me....how's trying to control everything working out for ya?


Pretty good as long as I stay away from people.    Haha.  I don't do crowds.  I know what puts me on edge and try to avoid it.  


Nah.  The controlling stuff has come up more recently since I've become aware of the effects of  the wreck.  So I'm aware of it, and I'm trying to work through it.  Been doing alot of reading on trauma.  I thought I was just traumatized from the wreck, but apparently anything that puts your life in danger [such as diagnosis of a chronic illness] can lead to traumatic stress.  So I've got almost 15 years of 'trauma' to overcome....and hope nothing else hits me while I'm trying to fix what screwed me up.  

That's where my faith and God comes into the picture.  I want to surrender to him and break down and allow Him to build me back up.  It's just hard.


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## crackerdave (Jan 16, 2009)

Mel,don't worry about being off-topic with this.We're here to help folks - when we can stop squabbling long enough!

A good study Bible will help you a LOT. I have a "Life Application Study Bible" published by Zondervan. The New International Version or the New King James Version are easier to learn on,but be aware there are some discrepancies from the King James Version.Go to a Christian bookstore and buy this Bible and read the "directions" and I promise it'll help you a lot.It will teach you how to incorporate God's Word into your everyday life.


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## Jeffriesw (Jan 16, 2009)

rangerdave said:


> Mel,don't worry about being off-topic with this.We're here to help folks - when we can stop squabbling long enough!
> 
> A good study Bible will help you a LOT. I have a "Life Application Study Bible" published by Zondervan. The New International Version or the New King James Version are easier to learn on,but be aware there are some discrepancies from the King James Version.Go to a Christian bookstore and buy this Bible and read the "directions" and I promise it'll help you a lot.It will teach you how to incorporate God's Word into your everyday life.



Dave, Your pretty bright and give great advice for a dumb Cracker! 

Mel. Just like Huntin said above, some of us wasted alot of time trying to "Maintain Control", Life gets a whole lot better when you give it up to the Lord.


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## Melissa (Jan 16, 2009)

My story is fairly straight forward.

I pretty much grew up in church since the age of 11, thought I was saved at age 12 because I told the preacher I wanted to be so we went down to the altar and I just repeated what he said, but I didn't really feel anything but still thought I was saved.  

Well I was being as Christian as I could be and went to church on a regular basis, well one day when I was 21 I was a little late to church and all the seats I usually sit in where taken so I had to seat in the very front on the second row.  The preacher didn't get but a couple minutes into his message about Salvation and where the unsaved were (a message I heard many times before) and before I knew it tears were just touring out of my eyes and I was shaking like crazy and up on my feet headed towards the altar.

I got saved right in the middle of his message, but he of course didn't mind at all.


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## JuliaH (Jan 16, 2009)

Hi Mel 

I don't know you... but your story makes me want to share....

I hope I am somewhat brief!!

NOT raised in church though my mom was a nominal believer in God, etc. and went to church when she could.

I never paid attention much to church, but when I was in Jr. High in Norfolk VA, during the first painful integration times, schools were closed to keep certain folks out (kinda gives me some age...lol). I went to school at a church and from time to time I felt a strong urge to go sit quietly in the sanctuary and that if I did, something wonderful was going to happen. I never did. I never told anyone!!

Fast forward to 17-19ish years, in GA. Clowning around with friends. Went to the YWCA, and met a Catholic Priest. All I remember was that he was friendly and I felt that same draw to him as I had felt in Jr. High. I again ignored it. In the car at some point I was laughing about being at the young women's CHRISTIAN association and since I went in the door I must be a CHRISTIAN. That sarcasm felt awful. I ignored it. 

I reckon folks reading might figure the "it" I kept ignoring was Jesus and He was soooo patient. 

Fast forward to 20. Got pregnant. Went home to parents, who had moved to Key West... went to church with mom. I cried like a baby all through service. Mom was embarrassed and so was I. Ignoring was getting harder to do, but I did it again. 

Not sure which Sunday, but I gave my heart to Jesus. It has been His ever since.

NOW... the perfect ending would have been that I stayed in church, raised the perfect child, did everything well..... ummmmm... not quite.....

Many changes in me for sure. I have never looked out and wondered why He did not love me any more... But the mistakes, though they slowed down, never stopped for a long time!  I have been Baptist, Charismatic, Non-Denominational and now Catholic. 

My hubby is Catholic and I do not believe in worshipping in separate churches, hence me being a member of the Catholic Church. 

I have in those years from 21 thru 63 (current) been married and remarried, raised a beautiful son who died at 27, took care of his friend who died the next year, cared for my dad in his last weeks of life, who died in 1991, cared for invalid mom (from a bad stroke) who died in 2004, lost a brother to suicide in 2006, had cancer surgery in 2001 I think. 

Life has taught me hard lessons. God has taught me the best lessons in my life thru my son and his friend... how to love and not judge, even while his heartbreaking lifestyle was not something I could ever embrace. I found that I could love Sean, and Ron too, be honest with them in the serious times...love them thru serious illness and death, and learn more during those times than I ever did in church. I used to wonder how one could love the person and hate the sin; how one could love the person and sometimes even very strongly disagree down to downright giving them a hard time because I hated the sin (still do in fact). 

But in the last few days of a young man's life I saw an ex-hubby say he was sorry, with heartbreakingly painful conversation with my son and with  me. I saw a former pastor visit with this same young man and come away in tears, knowing the soul of the dying man was safe in the hands of the God he had always loved. His nurses just happened to be Christian women.

I saw, after he was gone, his friend go through huge, immense pain and yet a lady whose hair he always did and who always let him do her hair... his illness did not frighten her or me...  Anyhow, this lady just happened to be a wonderful Christian woman who had prayed for years for him... and she led him to a real conversion during a hair appointment. The really cool thing would be if I could say he was changed, the drugs and drinking stopped, the huge turnaround happened.... but it did not. There were changes and I knew it, but not long after he drove my car into a tree. 

Should have died. Did not. Spent WEEKS in ICU expected to die. Recovered 100%. War going on in his spirit for all those weeks (he told me later). More life went on. I was there for him when he quietly and peacefully went into the arms of his Savior too... 

So many things. So much life has happened. I should be a saint, or I should have lost my faith.... but neither has happened. 

I still am tempermental sometimes.... I still love people deeply, to the point of real pain at times... I still don't accept the wrong, even while loving the people who fall into my life...lol.

I did not expect to say all this. I don't have a perfectly wonderful life or anything. But my mind and heart is usually pointed toward this most wonderful Savior who has taught me so much. His kind of love is something we gotta embrace to make it thru life... but many of the things I always thought were important were less to Him than I thought... The important thing is to let Him love us, to not be afraid to tell Him everything, to love Him with all our ability...

A saying from a long time ago was "Love means never having to say we are sorry" but that is totally opposite of what I know to be true. I am always sorry for my failures. So was Sean. So was Ron. I was protected from the horrible sickness they had, thank God. I was not protected from the pain and had to learn so many lessons... they have been the best lessons of my life. 

He is trustworthy. He will never hurt you... and if you can know that you will find Him guiding you through the tough times... not causing them 

Julia



Mel said:


> I'm sure once I find my faith again, once I trust Him to take care of me, I'll find the peace again and I won't have this anxiety or live in fear anymore. I trusted Him once, I'll trust Him again one day, its just really hard some times when He let so much happen to me.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jan 16, 2009)

Mel, don't worry about things getting a little off topic... supportive off-topic-ness is always welcome 

Julia, thank you for sharing that really beautiful testimony.  It would be wonderful if more of your Christian brothers and sisters could have the love in their heart that you do!


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## Mako22 (Jan 16, 2009)

In 1991 I repented of my sin and placed my faith in Jesus Christ for salvation. At the moment of repentance and belief the Holy Spirit of God moved into my body and has been there ever since. The Holy Spirit regenerated me, sealed my soul and spirit and began to act as my comforter (advocate). The Holy Spirit leads me, rebukes me, gives me peace and at times when needed convicts me. Since that time I turned my back on Bud dumber, Killer Time, whisky and all other forms of booze. God took cussing away from me, he took *****mongering away from me, he took partying, fighting, pornography, stealing, anger, malice and lying away from me. In its place he has taught me, love, peace, joy, long suffering, gentleness and much more. Now I am waiting the redemption and salvation of my fleshly body at the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ in the air. I don't know if I (my flesh) will be coming up out of the grave at that time or if I will just leave from above ground but I do know that I will be leaving one glorious day.


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## fishnguy (Jan 16, 2009)

WoooHooo! I thought my post was the killer of this thread for a while. Glad to see it is not!

Mel, you've received some great ideas about stuff to read. I'd also suggest 1st John as it is written to new christians(little children). Not that you are new, but it is also easy to understand and it is good to look back at some "simple" things!


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## Mel (Jan 19, 2009)

JuliaH said:


> Hi Mel
> 
> I don't know you... but your story makes me want to share....



Julia, thanks for sharing your story.  That was very inspiring, and I agree with DD, it would be awesome if more people had that kinda love in their heart.


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## JuliaH (Jan 19, 2009)

Now you gals are gonna see all the holes in my armor...lol. I am glad my story has done its job, but I am so very far from where I should be... not enough love to go around sometimes... not enough patience... not enough of a lot of things... but I am just me, for whatever that is worth, and the best lessons, most remembered lessons, were through those times with my son. 

Julia



Mel said:


> Julia, thanks for sharing your story. That was very inspiring, and I agree with DD, it would be awesome if more people had that kinda love in their heart.


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## Mel (Jan 19, 2009)

Yeah, that's what I need to remember when I'm thinking about all the things I've lost or never experienced, I need to remember the good times.  The good people I've met in the hospital and through contacts, through people hearing my story and meeting them and passing on encouragement and support to those just diagnosed.

You're right, the best lessons are often learned in the toughest times.  I need to remember that daily.


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## GA1dad (Jan 29, 2009)

Just thought I'd bump this one while I figure out what to type.

Dixie,,,,,, be expecting a PM.

Jay


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## Dixie Dawg (Jul 5, 2010)

Haven't been over in this forum for a while, but felt like maybe this thread needed a little bump!


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## Ronnie T (Jul 5, 2010)

Dixie Dawg said:


> Haven't been over in this forum for a while, but felt like maybe this thread needed a little bump!



I've thought about you several times the past few days.  I'm so glad to stopped by for a little bump.
I'm going to read over the past posts again and hope some others will willingly post.

I hope things are going well for you and your family.
You're always in my prayers.


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## gtparts (Jul 5, 2010)

Dixie Dawg said:


> Haven't been over in this forum for a while, but felt like maybe this thread needed a little bump!



Still praying for you, Ms. Dawg. Any changes in your life you'd like to share here? I know it sounds crazy, but in many ways things have gotten more difficult and, yet, I am more blessed than ever. I really love God's compensation plan. The closer I draw to Him, the less I concern myself with the things I never had control of in the first place.


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## crackerdave (Jul 5, 2010)

Dixie Dawg said:


> Haven't been over in this forum for a while, but felt like maybe this thread needed a little bump!




Hey,Kerri-sister! Glad you did!

Guess where that feeling came from?


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## earl (Jul 5, 2010)

Keri ,you need to drop in more often. Miss ya .


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## jmharris23 (Jul 6, 2010)

It is good to "see" ya DD


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## Jeffriesw (Jul 6, 2010)

jmharris23 said:


> It is good to "see" ya DD



X's 2


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## gordon 2 (Jul 6, 2010)

OK briefly when I was in my 30s I went to a bible study ( local catholic church)  where the local parish priests gave courses on bible and church themes. I took the courses on Mathew and Moses. Both Mathew and Moses tag teamed ( allegory) against me and  my partner ( old spirit) who was quick to leave me and I have not heard of him or it since. In other words, Mathew and Moses wipped me good and I've been to their camps ever since.

I might mention that I had studied world religions and christians denominations seriously for a few yrs. In the end though they were all very interesting and informative, it was Jesus who raised me to decipleship, no other did. He is my holster full of 45's and the Holy Spirit is my six gun. And that is what I bring to tag team fights now. I'm 40 and 0 when we team up... and the holster snap gets undone.


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## ronpasley (Jul 6, 2010)

As a sinner on my the way to he!! addicted to porn I got down on my hand and knees and cry out to Jesus to save my soul and to come into my heart. My life has not been the same since, each day I am being tranformed by the renewing of my mind through God's word and prayer.

There is great joy and peace in Chirst. 

Thank you Lord for everything, you are my King and Saviour, I give you glory and praise.


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## crackerdave (Jul 7, 2010)

Praise God for you,Ron! Through Christ we _can_ beat the devil.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jul 7, 2010)

Ronnie T said:


> I've thought about you several times the past few days.  I'm so glad to stopped by for a little bump.
> I'm going to read over the past posts again and hope some others will willingly post.
> 
> I hope things are going well for you and your family.
> You're always in my prayers.



Thank you Ronnie, that means a lot to me because I know it comes from your heart! 



gtparts said:


> Still praying for you, Ms. Dawg. Any changes in your life you'd like to share here? I know it sounds crazy, but in many ways things have gotten more difficult and, yet, I am more blessed than ever. I really love God's compensation plan. The closer I draw to Him, the less I concern myself with the things I never had control of in the first place.



I have been blessed beyond belief.... and absolutely beyond anything I deserve.   I have been given the blessing of being able to share every day now with the love of my life, which, believe me,  is a miracle in itself.  My daughter just graduated high school and is starting her life as an adult, and I feel blessed to have been able to provide her a good start to get her going.  I wake up every day with a smile on my face, go to bed with a smile on my face, and spend every moment in between being thankful for what I have.  



crackerdave said:


> [/COLOR]
> 
> Hey,Kerri-sister! Glad you did!
> 
> Guess where that feeling came from?







earl said:


> Keri ,you need to drop in more often. Miss ya .





jmharris23 said:


> It is good to "see" ya DD





Swamp Runner said:


> X's 2



Thanks guys, it's nice to come 'visit' once in a while!


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## Ronnie T (Jul 7, 2010)

Dixie Dawg said:


> I have been blessed beyond belief.... and absolutely beyond anything I deserve.   I have been given the blessing of being able to share every day now with the love of my life, which, believe me,  is a miracle in itself.  My daughter just graduated high school and is starting her life as an adult, and I feel blessed to have been able to provide her a good start to get her going.  I wake up every day with a smile on my face, go to bed with a smile on my face, and spend every moment in between being thankful for what I have.



Wow!  I think I'm envious.


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## Dixie Dawg (Jul 8, 2010)

Ronnie T said:


> Wow!  I think I'm envious.





I don't blame you!  

You know that old song, I think it's Kenny Rogers, it says "I feel sorry for anyone who isn't me tonight, well if you think I'm braggin', well you're right..."?   I pretty much hear that song in my mind every night these days!


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