# I'm having a difficult time getting past the death of a friend



## NorthGeorgiaHunter (Mar 27, 2016)

In July 2014 my friend of 40 years passed away.  We hunted and fished all over Georgia from the time he was 9 and I was 10 years old.  The vast majority of my outdoors life was spent with him.  We especially liked hunting the coastal islands and trout fishing northeast Georgia.  The last time we hunted together was on Wassaw Island in October of 2013.  He was feeling very bad during the hunt but toughed it out.  Our last time outdoors before he passed was trout fishing on Panther Creek in Habersham county.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  We discussed, as we always did when fishing, our future plans.  He knew he was sick but thought he would get better.  His prognosis at the time was good, but soon changed.  My old friend had a rare liver disease that would require a transplant that would never come.  My dear friend passed just after midnight on July 25, 2014. 

I truly believe that he was a Christian.  We discussed it many times and near the end he told his family members that he was ready to go home.  As a Christian he is OK, but I'm having a hard time getting past his passing.  I haven't fished since and I have no desire to ever go again. I hunted a little last year but my heart is no longer in it.  I want to honor his life by going back to the coastal islands.  I tried last year but backed out at the last minute.  

Will more time change my feeling?  Is it time for me to find other interests and move on?


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## Havana Dude (Mar 27, 2016)

Brother, I am no expert, but I have lost 2 hunting and fishing friends, plus my Dad, in the last 5 years. From what I can gather from your post, you were considerably closer to your friend than I was to either of mine. We were close, but it just doesn't sound like we were like you 2. I take comfort in knowing all 3 of those I lost, are in heaven, and probably wouldn't want to come back if they could. Grief is an individual thing. You have to handle it in a way that works for you. Maybe just go to the last fishing hole you guys shared, and sit there and talk to him. Fish or don't fish, up to you. Maybe you just need more time. I know how you feel. After I lost the first one( we hunted together alot, and he is responsible for me owning the land I own now to hunt on), I wasn't sure how it was going to be. It was awkward to say the least, but I forced myself to go, and now all of a sudden it is 5+ years later. I lost the last one on New Years Day of this year.  I am very sorry for your loss, and wish there was something we all could do for you, but this is your gig to deal with. I will say this. If you guys were as tight as you say, don't you think he would want you to continue to enjoy the things that make you happy? God bless you and I wish you the most success in dealing with this.

I will add this. I think about my 2 friends and my Dad, I would have to say, daily. My Dad was the easiest to let go, because I helped my Mom with some of his care, and he was suffering immense pain. I prayed for him to go.

If you feel the need to talk, I have ears. They are about worn out, but they still hear a little bit. We can PM #s if you want. I mean that.


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## Paymaster (Mar 28, 2016)

My deepest condolences. I will Pray that your grief and pain are eased.


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## NorthGeorgiaHunter (Mar 28, 2016)

Thank you gentlemen.  Today I went to the last place we fished together in April of 2014.  While crossing the creek, I fell in!  If Donald had seen me, he would remind me about it for the rest of my life!  It was cold, but I had a good laugh about it.

He was like a brother to me.  My whole family knew him.  My wife, Sherry, and Donald would talk golf when he came up to hunt and fish.  I have a plan to revisit some places that we hunted and fished and try to get my mind around his passing.


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## Horns (Mar 28, 2016)

That was a great first step. Continue this path and you will find acceptance of his loss. I lost my best friend a little over a year ago. He had lost his brother 5 years before that. When his brother passed, my friend gave up hunting and fishing. Sadly I couldn't change his mind to rekindle those activities before the cancer got him. I personally feel that his mourning affected his own will to beat the beast. Get back out there man


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## speedcop (Mar 28, 2016)

Brother we all experience that pain sooner or later. I truly believe that God made "memories" just for that reason. If all they brought us was pain he would have never created them. I have been in your shoes several times as others have. And while it hurt at first, I realized that my friends and my Dad that have passed would want me to keep our tradition and the tricks of hunting and fishing we traded alive. Who is to say your friend did not bust out laughing when you fell in. You just couldn't hear down here. Don't try to get over it, embrace it! God bless you.


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## "CB" 257 (Mar 28, 2016)

Brother I am sorry for your loss. I can say I know how you feel. I also lost my hunting and fishing partner in July 2014. July 5, 2014 I lost my 21yr old son. It has been the toughest thing I have ever been through. I have to ask myself all the time what would he want me to do. The only way to get through this is to give it to God. Satin will take this and try to destroy you. Call on Jesus. I have to do it daily.  That is what he wants us to do is to call upon his name. Put your trust in Jesus. Jesus is here to help us through these times. If you get a chance listen to the song Through the Fire by Jason Crabb. I miss my son more than words can say. This Thursday the 31st he would have been 23. My prayers are that God will give you the strength day to day and the peace to know that one day soon we will all be together forever with Jesus. God bless you
Psalm 94
17 If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
18 When I thought, “My foot slips,” Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
19 When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.


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## Core Lokt (Apr 19, 2016)

"CB" 257 said:


> Brother I am sorry for your loss. I can say I know how you feel. I also lost my hunting and fishing partner in July 2014. July 5, 2014 I lost my 21yr old son. It has been the toughest thing I have ever been through. I have to ask myself all the time what would he want me to do. The only way to get through this is to give it to God. Satin will take this and try to destroy you. Call on Jesus. I have to do it daily.  That is what he wants us to do is to call upon his name. Put your trust in Jesus. Jesus is here to help us through these times. If you get a chance listen to the song Through the Fire by Jason Crabb. I miss my son more than words can say. This Thursday the 31st he would have been 23. My prayers are that God will give you the strength day to day and the peace to know that one day soon we will all be together forever with Jesus. God bless you
> Psalm 94
> 17 If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
> 18 When I thought, “My foot slips,” Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
> 19 When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.



I couldn't have said it any better!! 

prayers for you brother.


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## Bucky T (Apr 19, 2016)

I'm very sorry for your loss.  It sounds really rough.  I couldn't imagine not going through life without friends you'd take a bullet for standing by you during it all.  I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it if one of my close buddies goes before me???  I know they'd want me to keep on keeping on chasing deer, turkey, bear, and fish.  I'd want them to do the same if I kick off before them.

It would be rough, but I'd keep on keeping on.  

Hope you get back out on the water and the woods soon.


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