# help with wife



## 2789britt

last febuary i came home and caught my wife in bed with a boy in the act!!!  i ended up breaking a hand as well as a bone in my other arm. fast foward to last sunday  she met me outside and said she was thinking about a divorce. she said she hasn't been attracted to my for a year . she is mad because i havent touched her much since i walked in on her and him. i love her and am trying to rekindle that love . we have two kids we adopted and she is trying to turn them against me. i prayed and turned it over to god tonight but any prayers and advice would be appreciated. also she is up set because i can only find temp[ work and not full time work at this time . please pray for a job for me.


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## 2789britt

little help please


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## Knotwild

You are not alone. I am praying for you tonight. If you have a good, Godly friend and/or pastor, please go see them and talk through things, then pursue counseling with a someone who is God fearing. 

Best wishes, and prayers.


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## JustUs4All

You are prayed for.


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## jkk6028

i would find it hard to trust this woman again. there are plenty of good women that won't cheat on their husband, etc. look for one of these women.


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## 2789britt

i know i have suggested counceling but she said no, it is hard to give up on six years of marriage. i am doing my best as a christian and as a man trying to find full time work but she doesnt see that the boy she brought back into our home is the wedge in our marriage


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## ellaville hunter

You caught her cheating!!! And she is mad????? Sometimes you have to know when to say when


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## 2789britt

i know but hard to give up


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## Paymaster

My Prayers are added for you.


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## scottl29

My prayers are sent. With so much going on I think counseling would be a huge help.


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## Kawaliga

If she won't go to counseling, YOU go yourself. Find a pastor, or christian friend to talk to, and who will pray with you. I am praying for you. You will get through this.


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## dwhee87

Prayers to you to help you make the right decision.


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## raghorn

ellaville hunter said:


> You caught her cheating!!! And she is mad????? Sometimes you have to know when to say when


 That's what I was thinking. She should have been gone a year ago. Ticks me off when I get blamed for someone elses transgressions, good luck to you though.


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## tournament fisher

i will be praying for you. you have done way more than i would be able to do. i could not go back after that. i pray that if it is gods will for your marriage to make it then you will. she should be ashamed of herself. good luck to you. please go find a good pastor to talk with.


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## Inthegarge

Praying for you to have wisdom in this difficult time..................


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## SkeeterEater

Is "the boy" one of the adopted kids?


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## 2789britt

no a boy she had a friend he adopted him years a go he is 22 this year. also she is just being stubborn she knows she has me over a barrel, me no full time or part time job, unemployed for 1 1/2 years and trying to find work, no money, also my credit is screwed.


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## South Man

prayers sent


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## bamaboy

Leave it all up to GOD! If you really turned it over to him do like the bible says and "be still, be quiet and trust in the lord himself" Go find a place and just be alone with you and God! Take your bible and read some scripture and study Gods word. You have my prayers and my sympathy!


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## MudDucker

Go to your preacher and get counseling.  If she is not willing to go, she is giving you her answer.


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## speedcop

Son, in 1997 I had to make the same call. 19 yrs. of marriage, 2 preteen daughters. Caught mine too. My job and training kept me from doing what I thought I would do. I tried for 2 yrs to work it out for the sake of my family. No cooperation on the other side, just continued sneaking around. So in 1999 I remembered my Dad always taught me to trust in God and be no mans (womans in this case) fool. I ended it with serving her papers. My daughters wanted to stay with me and did. 

I let it eat me for a long time, then my good friend and lawyer said this. " Your at home losing weight, sleep and your life. You want to know what they are doing? At his house getting a good night sleep and getting fat. It's time to move on." I promise you If your for real with what you said about God, it WILL GET BETTER! We pray for you!


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## MTMiller

prayers sent.  sorry to hear of your troubles.  Try to stay on the high road.  God will show you favor.


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## Ronnie T

If you still love her then ask God to give you a heart and mind to forgive her, and forget about the past.
Your marriage might not make it........ but it can make it.  I've seen it happen far too many times.

If your wife regrets what happened last February, use her regret as the door back into your heart.
But you have to be able to forgive her.
Adultery has been going on for many centuries.  You aren't the first.  You very well could have been the one caught in the act.  Any of us men could have been.

If you want this marriage to end, then end it.  Now.
If you don't, go find her, give her a kiss and tell her you love her.

You decide what you want in this marriage, then commit to it.
And tell her about your commitment.

I'll be praying for you every day.  To God for you.


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## 01Foreman400

Prayers sent.


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## pnome

Dang Brian.  I am sorry to hear that.

I hope things work out for you.  I don't know what I'd do if i were you.  Wish I had some great advice for you.  But I don't.

I'd be thinking about divorce real hard though.  Tough to save a marriage when one partner doesn't want to save it.


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## Tvveedie

Sending good thoughts and vibes that way. 

 Hope it isn't too inappropriate but I'm the type that would parlay this into a weekend pass for myself.  Hey, you only go on this wild ride once, best to get your kicks in while you're still kickin.


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## Chattooga River Hunter

Prayers sent.  That is a tough one.  I have been through a tough one too.  Although it may seem hard to believe, it WILL get better.  Keep the course and have faith.


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## MOTS

pnome said:


> Dang Brian.  I am sorry to hear that.
> 
> I hope things work out for you.  I don't know what I'd do if i were you.  Wish I had some great advice for you.  But I don't.
> 
> I'd be thinking about divorce real hard though.  Tough to save a marriage when one partner doesn't want to save it.



X2....She can't make your kids hate you, only you can do that. Focus on them and be the best Dad you can be, they will remember! However you saving your marriage is a road you will have to walk alone. Infidelity usually resurfaces with every argument, be prepared for that until you finally decide to move on. I will prayer for you. MOTS


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## 2789britt

she kicked me out tuesday and sent me to my dads threatned kids to tell the kids they hate me and wanted me to leave,,. i asked kids they said no to me leaving. she still hgas the boy she cheated on me with in the house and refusing to give up everything. she wants to keep all the 3,ooo of the 3704 from the irs we are owed, also tonot geiv me half of the banking account. she took 500 dollars of the 574 in savings we had out and only gave me twenty doars in gas . i give up time to move on and get on with my life. i was and unemployed right now to the economy. i had cast on both arms for the four months , cant find work with broken arms. am i wrong with moving on but fighting for what i am owed.


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## Ronnie T

I'd probably go back to the house and remove her and her guy.


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## dawgforlife

Honestly praying isn't going to get you a job or correct the wrong ya wife has done. Finding a job is a job in its self but work hard and go the extra mile to find one. A computer can't tell you all openings. As for wifey, I'd change the locks and tough cookie for her.


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## egomaniac247

There's an old song that says:  "It's only love when you're loved in return"

Time for you to move on.  It's starting to sound like a case of Jerry Springer....no woman fit to be a wife would be doing this.  

It's bad enough if she cheated on you but she has the guy in the house that she did it with?  

Time to go.


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## GAGE

Cut your losses and move on,   I know it sounds easy when your reading it,  but you are never to old to be happy.

Good luck,  it will get better.


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## Tvveedie

Put liquid heat in their jockstraps...err no that was Revenge of the Nerds.  IDK.  It's all sounding like a good reason to tie one on by a campfire and try to wrangle a channel cat out of a watershed.


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## fredw

Tvveedie said:


> Hope it isn't too inappropriate but I'm the type that would parlay this into a weekend pass for myself.  Hey, you only go on this wild ride once, best to get your kicks in while you're still kickin.


May not be the  best course of action with children involved.  And, in this situation, you sure don't want to provide any fodder for a divorce attorney to use against you.


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## j_seph

Prayers for you and her but if I caught my wife in the act there would be no repair for me


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## centerc

I have heard North Dakota cant find enough workers A new start might be a good thing


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## cb1967

dawgforlife said:


> Honestly praying isn't going to get you a job or correct the wrong ya wife has done. Finding a job is a job in its self but work hard and go the extra mile to find one. A computer can't tell you all openings. As for wifey, I'd change the locks and tough cookie for her.



prayer can change any thing and all things    jesus said, with faith you cast a mountain into the sea! my blessings


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## 2789britt

well she kicked me out of the house monday . came back on saturday for a overnite visit with kids . bad idea. had to move to dads an hour away. she wants a simple divorce take house, 3,00 of the 3704 tax refund and only give me 700, no child support from my end we get 820.00 dollars adoption asstiance til kids are eighteen and medicade on both children. she wants to have her cake and eat it too . i am not taking this laying dpwn . i am done she wants divorce i will give it to her but on my terms, i get custody of my son and she gets of my daughter, he and his convicted sex offender dad out of my kids life and i get half of the tax refund from last year, and this coming up year.


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## bigswede3423

*move on*

I posted here several months ago about my divorce situation.  If both of you adopted the kids, you have a long road ahead.  I got myself and my two girls back in church where we belong.  I received a lot of good advice from folks on here but getting back to God is the best.  You will feel better about yourself.  I would move on.


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## golffreak

Prayers sent. God Bless.


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## Madman

2789britt said:


> well she kicked me out of the house monday . came back on saturday for a overnite visit with kids . bad idea. had to move to dads an hour away. she wants a simple divorce take house, 3,00 of the 3704 tax refund and only give me 700, no child support from my end we get 820.00 dollars adoption asstiance til kids are eighteen and medicade on both children. she wants to have her cake and eat it too . i am not taking this laying dpwn . i am done she wants divorce i will give it to her but on my terms, i get custody of my son and she gets of my daughter, and i get half of the tax refund from last year, and this coming up year.



1) 3,000 of the 3704 tax refund give it all to her.
2) what is this? "we get 820.00 dollars adoption asstiance til kids are eighteen " Am I paying for your adopted children?
3) You say "she gets of my daughter" britt you mean you want your adopted daughter growing up under the guidance of an adultrice? and then to make it worse you write " he and his convicted sex offender dad out of my kids life"!!  They'd have to kill me!! God put dads on this planet to protect their children from that not turn them over to it.

Britt,  Get some help, get some good advice!!!


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## Phoelix

I agree, time to move on...I, myself, am proof that a marriage CAN survive infidelity....Both parties HAVE to WANT to keep the marriage, and both parties HAVE to surrender their life to God.  I met with my wife after I had 2 separate affairs, and agreed to every one of her demands. We are fortunate enough to have a Church that reaches out to broken marriages, and are very well equipped for any conceivable circumstance that may arise in a marriage. The most important of her demands (besides a blood test), was for me to meet with a gentleman from the Church that she had set up for me.  I met George on a Tuesday, and I thank God for sending me to George, as he was a very experienced and Godly Man that knew all the questions to ask me. I met sometimes twice a week with George for nearly 2 years, and now, nearly 5 years after my affairs, our marriage is stronger than ever, and we, as a couple, offer help to other marriages in dire circumstances, and realize God is using us to show others that NOTHING is impossible.  My wife admitted to contributing to some of the reasons I did what I did, and forgave me, but the most difficult part was forgiving myself, which entailed nearly 2 years of intense counseling....So yep, been there, done that, and I now realize my wife is THE gift to me from him, and that we're together because of HIS will, not ours, and we're fluorishing doing his work in his name!!!


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## centerc

2789britt said:


> well she kicked me out of the house monday . came back on saturday for a overnite visit with kids . bad idea. had to move to dads an hour away. she wants a simple divorce take house, 3,00 of the 3704 tax refund and only give me 700, no child support from my end we get 820.00 dollars adoption asstiance til kids are eighteen and medicade on both children. she wants to have her cake and eat it too . i am not taking this laying dpwn . i am done she wants divorce i will give it to her but on my terms, i get custody of my son and she gets of my daughter, he and his convicted sex offender dad out of my kids life and i get half of the tax refund from last year, and this coming up year.


Money wise she is offering you a great deal.Lawyers will cost you Thousands to fight and you will still probably have to pay child support. Is the house paid for? if not let her have it along with the payments. My friend spent 18 000 on lawyers and still lost.


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## KDarsey

Get out, It sounds cold,hard & mean but I think you are trying to make to make something work that won't. Also, maybe for the wrong reason.
 Get the kids, forget the money. In a year you will be thankful you got rid of her.
  Trust me. I have been there. At the moment all I could think about was saving a dead relationship. 11 years & no more wives later I am happy as a hog in slop.


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## Ronnie T

Phoelix said:


> I agree, time to move on...I, myself, am proof that a marriage CAN survive infidelity....Both parties HAVE to WANT to keep the marriage, and both parties HAVE to surrender their life to God.  I met with my wife after I had 2 separate affairs, and agreed to every one of her demands. We are fortunate enough to have a Church that reaches out to broken marriages, and are very well equipped for any conceivable circumstance that may arise in a marriage. The most important of her demands (besides a blood test), was for me to meet with a gentleman from the Church that she had set up for me.  I met George on a Tuesday, and I thank God for sending me to George, as he was a very experienced and Godly Man that knew all the questions to ask me. I met sometimes twice a week with George for nearly 2 years, and now, nearly 5 years after my affairs, our marriage is stronger than ever, and we, as a couple, offer help to other marriages in dire circumstances, and realize God is using us to show others that NOTHING is impossible.  My wife admitted to contributing to some of the reasons I did what I did, and forgave me, but the most difficult part was forgiving myself, which entailed nearly 2 years of intense counseling....So yep, been there, done that, and I now realize my wife is THE gift to me from him, and that we're together because of HIS will, not ours, and we're fluorishing doing his work in his name!!!




I'm greatly encouraged to hear your story.  I'm sure your marriage is ready now to stand up to all the storms of life.
You've discovered what many marriages without infidelity did not and haven't been able to find.


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## Mac

good luck,


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## 2789britt

thanks i am signing papers saturday and moving on with my life we are being cival for the kids.


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## Robert Warnock

You have our prayers


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## HawgWild23

cb1967 said:


> prayer can change any thing and all things    jesus said, with faith you cast a mountain into the sea! my blessings



AMEN. prayer sent


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## eastwood

check this place out rejoiceministries.org


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## Throwback

you stayed there 9 months longer than I ever would have if it had meant me living in a van down by the river. 

Good luck to you. 

T


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## Phoelix

tournament fisher said:


> i will be praying for you. you have done way more than i would be able to do. i could not go back after that. i pray that if it is gods will for your marriage to make it then you will. she should be ashamed of herself. good luck to you. please go find a good pastor to talk with.



She SHOULD be ashamed of herself, but you have to realize that "the enemy" knows EVERYTHING about you, and will do whatever it takes to destroy  your marriage. I have been in her shoes, listened to the lies that were so cleverly whispered in my mind, and began to believe the lies were really what I wanted....Then, when I was caught, I went into shock as I could'nt believe how far down this "path" Satan had took me, then laughed when 21 years of marriage was destroyed....God won in the end, and we are okay now, so it CAN be done....


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## 2789britt

well good news the divorce wil be final a wwwk from monday and i am living with dad looking for job get kids every other weekend also i am moving on and she hates it . she calls me all the time complaining about she doesnt have money for this or that i said you got what you wanted make lover boy pay some bills. she hates that. but i am growing in my faith also i am looking for a local church in franklin, ga. so keep me in your prayers and any help on jobs will be helpful thanks. yall are the best group of people i know and i cant thank you enough


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## grouper throat

I'm praying for ya and take it from me it does get better. I thought I was going to die of a broken heart when I found out my now ex wife had cheated. I clung to my faith and prayed and God answered my prayers. 10 months later and I honestly forget I was ever married besides my daughter. Btw if your ex is like mine, she's probably going to annoy you the rest of your life so you might as well learn to smile and blow it off like I do. My life has never been better and you'll find another woman who will treat you so much better like I did.


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## Reese1819

crossroads church in Sharpsburg is not to far away have people that actually come from Atlanta  would love to have you join us. they  have both Saturday and Sunday services


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## chevy85

if you live in franklin ga. in heard county i heard southwire is hiring


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## Slewfoot

*Hang in There*

Hang in there.  Although this is tough, God is faithful and will make you a better man through all of this if you let him.  Only God can take what was meant by satan and work it out for your good.  I will be praying for ya.


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## ted_BSR

2789britt said:


> well good news the divorce wil be final a wwwk from monday and i am living with dad looking for job get kids every other weekend also i am moving on and she hates it . she calls me all the time complaining about she doesnt have money for this or that i said you got what you wanted make lover boy pay some bills. she hates that. but i am growing in my faith also i am looking for a local church in franklin, ga. so keep me in your prayers and any help on jobs will be helpful thanks. yall are the best group of people i know and i cant thank you enough



That final divorce is good news. I hate to say that, but in your situation, it is true. I keep very important papers in my fire proof gunsafe like birth certificates, passports, and one of the most important ones is my divorce papers. I was married for 7 years to a woman that hated me the day after we were married. I held on because of my faith and my promise. She finally left (after cheatin' and gettin' caught), and I was in rough shape (drinking and depressed for months). Had to move back in with my folks, lost a fortune on the new house we had sell for a song, lost my job, at least I got the dog (no kids). I finally sobered up and started waking up alone in my bed, and she wasn't lying there cussin' at me and I started to realize that I was very happy to be without her! It has been 9 years and a lot of praying and hard work, but I am happier now than I ever have been in my life. I am remarried to a wonderful Christian woman now for 4 years.

I know you have to take her phone calls to manage the kids, but I would make it clear to her that the only discussions you will engage yourself in with her are about the kids. Don't listen to any thing about money or or her boyfriend or if she has a headache or a limp or car trouble or oh baby or any other subject than the kids.

Starting over is a good thing my friend, and I am proof that there is a better life out there. Stay close to God, I will pray for you and your kids. God Bless!


Proverbs 17:1

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.


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## Ronnie T

I'm going to be praying seriously about your job needs.
God bless.


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## sniper22

Lean on GOD for all of your needs. Put 100% trust in HIM and you will find your life headed where it's supposed to go. Prayers added


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