# i didn't kill the boyfiend



## BigBrett

my neice(like my daughter) has got her first boyfriend. sunday was her birthday and he came to our usual steak grillin. I did not kill him or even threaten him. so, i brag on myself. and to be honest , i had to fight hard to keep back the tears when i saw her hug him. i have a son but no daughter and now i know why the lord made it that way.


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## dbodkin

I have only one. My son. But 2 Grand Daughters 9 year old and the other soon to be 13.  When I'm introduced to their  boyfriends (Any and all) I plan on taking the young lad to the range.. Just to show him how accurate I can be with both a rifle and handgun


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## Mud Minnow

bwn_us said:


> my neice(like my daughter) has got her first boyfriend. sunday was her birthday and he came to our usual steak grillin. I did not kill him or even threaten him. so, i brag on myself. and to be honest , i had to fight hard to keep back the tears when i saw her hug him. i have a son but no daughter and now i know why the lord made it that way.



Amen Bro, I got a 5 year old little girl, I am so not looking forward to her growing up. I'll probably move the gun cabinet from the bed room into the living room... just to make a statement.


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## Blancor

Gotta love Rodney Atkins - Cleaning this gun!!!!!


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## mwood1985

lol id have pulled him aside and just kidded with killin him...joking but with that serious undertone...my daughter turned 5 months yesterday and im already planning how to deal with the boys


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## Rip Steele

I got two girls  There 4 and 2 but I'm still not ready for that. Well maybe I am


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## Bird Hunter 21

here is an idea.  Friend of mine went to pick up this girl on a date.  When her dad met him at the door he gave him a .357 bullet and told him "hold on to this for me, we may need it later."


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## bighonkinjeep

Or you can do like Captain Howard and take him off to the side and tell him 
"You need to think about what you're planning for this evening very carefully. Because whatever you do to her I'm gonna do to you" 
I think most guys would rather have the Captain buying them a burger than planting a wet one on em.


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## Mud Minnow

Keep 'em comin!! I'll remember them when my little girl's aloud to date in about 30 yrs!!


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## MikeEast

When my oldest starting dating, the boy would be looking for the easy-to-miss house and not 'everything around it'.

Before they left, I'd pull the boy aside and real nice like tell him that 
"if you make my little girl unhappy in any way, I'll bury you out back...........with the others."

As they drive off, -then- he'd notice the 'Cemetery Entrance' sign on the little road next door.

My daughter had a decent sense of humor and would go right along with it when asked if I was serious. "Yeah Dad says where is a better place to hide a body than a cemetery?"

Priceless...

Mike


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## SouthernTwang

LOL, My girl is 13 mths and I'm dreading those days too.I always said a gun was to quick, I was going to keep a pack of hot dogs and show him how sharp my knife was. LOL!!!!


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## fishbasket

I have three girls grown and married it don't get any easier only the last son-in-law came up to me and asked for my daughters hand in marriage so now you know which one I like the most


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## FlipKing

I asked for permission first, and plan on asking the big question with in the next month or so. We have been dating 2 and a half years and I almost spend more time with her dad than her. We are inseperable during rifle season,haha.


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## fishbasket

FlipKing as a matter of fact the son-in-law that asked me is the only one I hunt with and do most of the fishing with also.. you should be a good son-in-law I wish you the BEST


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## FlipKing

Thanks alot! Yeah her Dad is great, helps me work on my truck, and is really teaching me alot with the hunting, I am ending up with 2 best friends.


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## fishbasket

Keep her Safe and Happy is about all a Dad {I} asks for his {my} daughtersif notjust kidding


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## USbowhuntr

I have three daughters, 1, 8, and 10. The oldest has her first boyfriend so she tells me. I get the pleasure of meeting him or should I say he gets the pleasure of meeting me while I am home on leave from Afghanistan next month. I just cant figure out what approach to take with him yet.  Should be interesting.

Jason


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## riskyb

i dont have any myself, but my best friend has two sisters that i would def hurt someone over to put it nicely


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## snookdoctor

"I don't have a problem going back to prison"
 -Bill Engvall


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## BigCountry77

when my daughter was born i went and bought a 12 gauge and some shells the 1st one is still by her bed so she can see it waiting on the 1st boyfriend.


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## Tuffdawg

Funny. All you dads ready to kill over your girls........ Im a mom of two boys and I am dreadin to see what kind of girls they are gonna bring home. I guess it works both ways................


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## Pistol

I went to pick up a girl one time, it was our first date.  She answered the door and took me in to meet her dad.  He was sitting at the kitchen table cleaning his shotgun & a couple of  hand guns.  She says"Dad, this is Paul."  He looks at me and says "Paul, nice to meet ya."  He picked up a shotgun shell, grabbed a marker, and wrote PAUL on it, then asked "paul, what time are you gonna have my girl home this evening?"  I said "#0 minutes before you tell me to sir."   "Good boy"  he says.


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## RickD

Tuffdawg said:


> Funny. All you dads ready to kill over your girls........ Im a mom of two boys and I am dreadin to see what kind of girls they are gonna bring home. I guess it works both ways................



So true


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## Dead Eye Eddy

Tuffdawg said:


> Funny. All you dads ready to kill over your girls........ Im a mom of two boys and I am dreadin to see what kind of girls they are gonna bring home. I guess it works both ways................



I don't remember who said it, but I've always remembered it.  Of course, I cleaned it up for the site.

"When you have a son, you only have to worry about one (boy).  When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the (boys)."


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## BigCountry77

Dead Eye Eddy said:


> I don't remember who said it, but I've always remembered it.  Of course, I cleaned it up for the site.
> 
> "When you have a son, you only have to worry about one (boy).  When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the (boys)."



preach it Dead Eye preach it


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## Kingfish2

I decided not to potty train my little girl...no guy will want to keep her out late with a dirty diaper! 

J/K I hope she finds a great guy who loves her as much as I do. But if he ever disrepects her well nobody will miss him but his mother.


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## JerBla

I remember when I asked my now wife to go on a date. I knew her family and they knew me but her Dad never really cared for me at the start. Later on in our dating days her dad would take me outside and show me some of his guns. (I never owned a gun or held a gun at the time)He asked me if I knew how to shoot and hunt, my answer was "no". He showed me alittle bit and let me shoot some of them. Then we were about to sit down for 4th of July fireworks in her dads yard. She told me that when her dad shows someone his guns its because he likes them, but theres one that is is favorite, if you shoot it then he really likes you. Sure enough after the firework her Dad came walking out with his Ruger AC-556. Oh yeah I shot it. 
The rest is history, married the girl and have a family. Now its my turn, I have a girl and a boy. Guess Ill just play it by ear.


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## MissionMagnet

Hehe, this is a good thread. The first time I met my fiance's father(who was a career military man) I was somewhat hesitant. But I had just gotten out of the Army so I wasn't too worried about it. She warned me that he would probably show me his gun collection, and sure enough we introduce ourselves and he takes me down to his gun room and we proceed to talk about guns for about 2hrs( I was in munitions/eod )and it's been great ever since. Me and him are best friends so when I asked for his blessing he happily obliged, and now she is the mother of our almost 3 yr old little girl so now I get to look forward to scaring the life out of some poor boy someday. Lord help him


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## ted_BSR

I ain't going back to prison, so I ain't gonna kill you, but I will hurt you real bad.


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## James151

> You need to think about what you're planning for this evening very carefully. Because whatever you do to her I'm gonna do to you"
> I think most guys would rather have the Captain buying them a burger than planting a wet one on em.



I have 4 children two of which are girls one 15 and one is 4

15 y.o. had a boyfriend this year and snuck around texting him about 800 minutes worth is how I found out... 

needless to say i gave her a choice learners permit or boyfriend thank god she chose driving my truck instead of driving me mad

it absolutely scares the crap out of me.

I trust NOONE


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## Ruger#3

Back when my now grown son started dating I was the designated driver for the pickup and drop off dates. I really liked the gal and her family. Dad was good guy, great sense of humor.

My son would say Dad back into the drive and turn the lights off so I can walk her to the door. I would do as requested. The minute they hugged on the porch I'd hit her Dad's cell number and the porch light would come on and the door pop open. Her Dad would smile let her in and wave at me. This little gimmic went on for quite a while before the kids figured it out.


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## Georgia Hard Hunter

Blancor said:


> Gotta love Rodney Atkins - Cleaning this gun!!!!!



I had this pulled on me, here's the story
I was 15 years old just got my drivers license and was going to pick up my new girlfriend, she was 14 and we're were going to the early movie. I get there right on time and knock on the door. The door opened on OH MY GOD it was the biggest meanest looking sterotypical Mississippi Highway Patrolman I'd ever seen. He was 6-4  260 lbs, huge jar head, flat top haircut, chew in is mouth, in full uniform. His hands were as big as basketballs and his grip was extremly firm when he shook my hand. Well I was now weak knee'ed and he told me to sit on the couch, he called for his daughter but to my fear no one came, so there we are in his den by ourselves. AND YES HE IS CLEANING HIS GUN. This last for a bout 15 minutes he cleans as he tells me that his daughters are his most prize possesion and he don't know what He'd do to anyone who'd hurt one of them. Then he looks me right in the eye and asks "Do you know what I mean" I was so scared I could hardly talk I managed to get out "Yes sir I do". About that time my girlfriend and her mother appeared and his face  changed right before my eyes to that of a happy "you two go have fun". As we're going out the door he leans over towards me and softly says "I hope you remember". WEll Let ME tell you I never forgot, I always had her home on time, and we did out kissing before we got to her house. Her and I dated for 2 years and he and I got to be really close, I guess since he had all daughters I was the son he never had. But I never "hurt Her" that he knew about anyway but if he had I wonder what he would have done, I'm sure I wouldn't have like it.


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## one hogman

*Didn't kill the boy friend,*

Any of you guys that have daughters know what I mean when I  say NO boy will ever be good enough for your little girl, well I am happy that my daughter finally found her prince charming and he is a really  good guy. She likes to remind me of the boys that came over that I showed my double barrel 12 gauge too, Girls are very special but can really give Dad.s some worry time for sure.


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## Havana Dude

Tuffdawg said:


> Funny. All you dads ready to kill over your girls........ Im a mom of two boys and I am dreadin to see what kind of girls they are gonna bring home. I guess it works both ways................



Trust me here, it aint the ones he brings home ya gotta worry about.


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## farmasis

I have an 8 year old. I plan on killing the first 3 boys she brings home to set an example for the rest.

In case you haven't seen this....

*10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter* 

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date NO ONE but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are NOT appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff  T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.   Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not play with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


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## buzzbaithead57

Funny thread


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## MissionMagnet

Bahaha, I like your style Farmasis.


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## dtrusty

just tell him anything he does to her, you will do to him!!!!


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## shea900

Man, you guys are uptight!


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## TripleG

*Daughters*

Great thread!  Brought back a lot of memories.  My three beautiful daughters are now grown and married with little ones of their own (expecting #7 in September).  I was glad to see a lady post.  I always kept a baseball bat in plain view when a young man came a callin' but it was the discussions with Momma that seemed to put the fear of God in them.  I guess its a little like all nature - fear the mother of the little creatures the most.  My punishment would be swift but Momma would just make them wish they were dead!  I got three pretty good sons-in-law so I guess that qualifies me to add to the advice already shared.  Pray, pray, pray!


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## DAKILLER

I remember some years ago my to be father in law said don't hurt her and I want have to hurt you.Been happy last 45 years got 4 kids and 10 grand kids


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## bacon6

i told my wife when my daughters were approching the dating age that I wanted a shoulder mount of a young boy with his hands out holding my shotgun and a sign on it saying "this is the first one who tried" if they made it past that they were OK


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## Gone Fishing

My dad always kept his AR15 and rifile with a high power huge scope on the piano bench in the front room along with the 357 and 44 on the bookcase behind the front door.  He never said anything but I guess there wasn't really any need for it.


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## turky93

The only one that sticks out in my mind "thus far" was the man who told me, "Anything you do to her, I'm gonna do to you." 
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, or run before he whipped out his banjo.


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## Redbow

dbodkin said:


> I have only one. My son. But 2 Grand Daughters 9 year old and the other soon to be 13.  When I'm introduced to their  boyfriends (Any and all) I plan on taking the young lad to the range.. Just to show him how accurate I can be with both a rifle and handgun



You never know. That young lad you take to the range just might out shoot you. First time I took my wife to the range years ago she showed me how to shoot and I thought I was fairly good !


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## LATHEM

haha @ dbodkin thats what happened to me i was dating a girl and her dad ex. army i dont know what he did but he brought me to the range and i out shot him with his own guns AND mine haha we broke up after that


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## gordylew

Being a father of three girls the topic of this thread is always on my mind.  I won't mind him being a better shot then me because the element of surprise will be on my side.

I plan on letting them do a few chores around the house while the daughters are getting ready.  cutting 7 acres  of pasture grass with a push mower should knock some of the pep out of them.


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## Designasaurus

After raising 2 daughters, here is a tip that worked pretty well for me.  When you meet the "boyfriend" for the first time reach out and shake his hand but... don't let go of his hand.  This gives you a chance to lean close & talk to him (let him know how much your girl means to you etc..).  The first guy I did that to got BIG eyes and tried to get his hand back real fast but I didn't let go.


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## the MAD plumber

Glad I have son too!


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## pottydoc

There was a simular thread on FS. The poster had told his daughter's bf that anything he wanted to do to her, he had to do with him first. The kid came over for dinner one Saturday, walked out to where the poster was grilling, grabbed him by the back of the head, and put a huge kiss on him. Then he walked off without saying anything. The poster is worried now.


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## Wahoo Creek

Just yesterday, my 5 year old daughter came home from school and told me she has a boyfriend.    Until yesterday, I had her convinced most of the boys she knows are her cousins.  Time for Plan B.


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## SneakyOne

Wahoo Creek said:


> Just yesterday, my 5 year old daughter came home from school and told me she has a boyfriend.    Until yesterday, I had her convinced most of the boys she knows are her cousins.  Time for Plan B.



 That's funny!


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## Meat Dog Mafia

My little girl is about to turn 3. My plan is at the age of 14 I will take away her toothbrush and shave her head. You rekon it will work, or will it just attract the strays?


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## Huntinfool

Meat Dog Mafia said:


> My little girl is about to turn 3. My plan is at the age of 14 I will take away her toothbrush and shave her head. You rekon it will work, or will it just attract the strays?



Ever seen Natural Born Killers?   There's one out there for everybody my man.  Might want to re-think that plan


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## Johns0902

the bible says " you shall not kill", but i doesn't say anything about maiming someone.


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## grunt0331

I dated a girl in high school.  Came to pick her up and her dad told me that of one daughter goes, the other does too.  Nothing kills a date like having a 10 year old tagging along.

I have bought a new firearm for each duaghter's birth.  Each will be in plain view when the first boy appears on my doorstep.  My Dress Blues will be framed and visible, along with a very large, very sharp K-Bar.  And I will develop a nervous tic so he knows something is very, very wrong with me.


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## General Lee

NewsFlash..........I have a son and these "angel" daughters some of ya'll refer to are more worldly than you know...............


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## F14Gunner

bwn_us said:


> my neice(like my daughter) has got her first boyfriend. sunday was her birthday and he came to our usual steak grillin. I did not kill him or even threaten him. so, i brag on myself. and to be honest , i had to fight hard to keep back the tears when i saw her hug him. i have a son but no daughter and now i know why the lord made it that way.



I have two daughters now in early 30's;  but when their 1st boy friends started showing up I sat in my recliner and was cleaning my shotgun. Told them Boys I want them home by 11, no excused, because I have no problem going back to prison for assault with a deadly weapon. 
Needless to say they were home by 10:30.


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## firefighter374

id watch it flipking that might be a setup


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## Handgunner 45-70

I have 2 daughters 30 and 28.


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## Handgunner 45-70

When they started dating I had a mason jar with a set of buck do-dad in them and would tell the boy that guy brought her home late. well they alway were on time after that. One son inlaw finally got the nerve to ask if they were real, I told him to reach in the jar and find out, been 5 years now and he still looks at that jar and has not tried to open it.


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## FlipKing

Lol well It is still working out for me. We are now engaged and I am apart of the family. Her dad and I are very busy getting the lease ready for Oct 9th.


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## Xeroid

farmasis said:


> In case you haven't seen this....
> 
> *10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter*



My daughter told me about her first little boy friend last year.  I printed these rules up and told her I required a signature from her boy friend before she would be allowed to go out with him.  Shoulda seen the look on her face.


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## v1vrv2

My daughter was sick pretty bad for two years. She had horrible headaches, missed most of her 7th and 8th grade school years. She is in high school now and is well. When people ask me how I deal with boys I just remember back when she was sick. I just wanted her to be able to enjoy life. At the time we didn't know if she would get better or if pain would be her life. Boys can be both positive and negative but I am happy she can experience everything in life pain free now.


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## shdybrady19

My dad went to the extreme when my sister brought her first boyfriend home. We walked him down to the gun room and started handing guns one at a time, while telling him at what yardage he could effectively drop him at lol.


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## muddychick01

Ya'll might wanna change your tactics. I was always the one to put the moves on my past boyfriends first. Maybe ya'll should be having these "talks" with your daughters instead of the boyfriends. I have a 7 year old daughter now, and I dread the day when she starts getting interested in boys. Lord help me if she's anything like I was growing up! LOL!!!


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## LawnStalker

Y'all got it all wrong...

By the time they're allowed to date you should only have to tell the date which of the guns & knives are your kids. Point out with pride your childs shooting trophies that they ought to have earned ( you have taught them to shoot right ;-)),  and all the trees you planted together, at night, shortly after a breakup. 

End by solemly asking the date not to hurt 'em cause you are too tired from digging all those 6ft deep holes for the extra fertilizer those tree got.  

Fear the injured, not the parent.


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## Atlfinfan

I have two grown daughters, 29 and26.  On both of their first prom dates, I met the guys on my front porch, in overalls, one strap unbuckled and hanging loose, while cleaning my shotgun, just like in the movies.  I did my best to look......redneck.  I only asked them if there were any questions.  They are both married to great guys now, both in law enforcement.  One of them was that prom date. They are the sons I never had.


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