# Who has PTSD or Anxiety problems.



## OmenHonkey (Dec 12, 2017)

Very serious topic and questions. What do ya'll do to get out of those moments. I hate taking meds, I will if I just have to but I hate dealing with this. It surely ain't no joke and those that don't have it don't understand it. I have some friends that have issues and we all talk to eachother whne we need to. Any other ideas some may have?


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## j_seph (Dec 12, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Very serious topic and questions. What do ya'll do to get out of those moments. I hate taking meds, I will if I just have to but I hate dealing with this. It surely ain't no joke and those that don't have it don't understand it. I have some friends that have issues and we all talk to eachother whne we need to. Any other ideas some may have?


My wife has anxiety bad sometimes and the best thing she has found is to go for a walk or do some serious cleaning at the house. Not sure if you are a Christian or not but prayer can do some amazing things as well. I don't mean close your eyes and say a quick prayer either I mean get somewhere that it is just you and Lord and lay it out for him, no other distractions just one on one.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 12, 2017)

j_seph said:


> My wife has anxiety bad sometimes and the best thing she has found is to go for a walk or do some serious cleaning at the house. Not sure if you are a Christian or not but prayer can do some amazing things as well. I don't mean close your eyes and say a quick prayer either I mean get somewhere that it is just you and Lord and lay it out for him, no other distractions just one on one.



I will go to the deerstand just for that very thing. As far as Stress goes this year has been Awful. I haven't had any issues since I went thru a very nasty divorce 12 years ago. And then Bam, this year's events have been really tuff to get past.


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## sinclair1 (Dec 12, 2017)

I have PTSD from a armed robbery where I had a gun to my head and ask to open the safe. I decided to fight for the gun and made it out alive after a brief time in the hospital.

I am also OCD and about every other issue out there, a real nut if I say so myself.

I do not take any meds for anything. What works for me and actually makes my issues an asset is I study the phycology and human behavior as a hobby.

Once you know what's coming and how to handle it, those out of control moments are gone. You can become the alpha thinker in a hostle situation and no longer feel inferior, but dominant.

Learn to control the brain and you can turn what some call issues, into assets.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 12, 2017)

sinclair1 said:


> I have PTSD from a armed robbery where I had a gun to my head and ask to open the safe. I decided to fight for the gun and made it out alive after a brief time in the hospital.
> 
> I am also OCD and about every other issue out there, a real nut if I say so myself.
> 
> ...




Mine are more Medical worries I guess. I found my cousin and best friend dead this past March. We were both burning our farms and it was 3 days after our birthdays had past. He had an underlying heart issue that was never caught. So I have to deal with that. His widow and kids and the rest of our family are always in my thoughts. I have my problems with everybody always pulling at me to do stuff, Work, Parents, friends, Girlfriend and so on. Everything compounds at times then I have crazy heart rhythms that I am told are from stress which cause even more anxiety. It just seems to be never ending. I have some meds that I can break in half and take one and I calm down. Or if im not at work I can have a few evening beers and i'm pretty good. Its just so frustrating feeling like this.


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## sinclair1 (Dec 12, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Mine are more Medical worries I guess. I found my cousin and best friend dead this past March. We were both burning our farms and it was 3 days after our birthdays had past. He had an underlying heart issue that was never caught. So I have to deal with that. His widow and kids and the rest of our family are always in my thoughts. I have my problems with everybody always pulling at me to do stuff, Work, Parents, friends, Girlfriend and so on. Everything compounds at times then I have crazy heart rhythms that I am told are from stress which cause even more anxiety. It just seems to be never ending. I have some meds that I can break in half and take one and I calm down. Or if im not at work I can have a few evening beers and i'm pretty good. Its just so frustrating feeling like this.



Build the perfect machine. Eat right, work out and see a counselor. Endorphins are key to beat what you feel and exercise and nutrients are the ticket.


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## Dirtroad Johnson (Dec 12, 2017)

Hope you get to feeling better buddy, try to focus on it will get better.


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## Big7 (Dec 12, 2017)

XGF has it. Mostly knuckle head young-un
that WON'T leave. I've spent enough. Told her I would write as many checks as necessary
IF she gives him the boot. She thinks her son will try to keep
her away from the grandchildren. He uses those kids as a weapon.

Despite grandchildren's mother TELLING her that she would 
not keep them away from her. If anything, she will make it known
that kids can't see baby-daddy unless XGF is present.

You will most likely need to see a Dr.., Get some meds.

Just ask him/her if they can write you something "off label".

If you go to a "shrink" your carry permit may become
an issue. Just keep it on the down low.

You can't "fix" this without some help.

Best of luck.


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## rayjay (Dec 12, 2017)

I'm 26 months out from a cancer diagnosis, a massively invasive surgery , 6 months of chemo, etc etc. Just had a CT scan with contrasts today.

You can be sure that dealing with PTSD was part of my recovery. There is a FB page for peeps that had the surgery I had and that has really been a godsend for me and all the other 8000 members. Everyone of us suffers to some degree or other from PTSD. There's also some survivors guilt in the mix.

 Like Sinclair said, self theraphizing worked fine for me. Knowing whats happening is the key to fixing it. One main thing is not fretting over stuff you have ABSOLUTELY ZERO influence upon. Dwelling on the past or what could have been or "why me" is dumb. Look forward but not too far forward.

Good luck.


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## Cobra (Dec 12, 2017)

sinclair1 said:


> Build the perfect machine. Eat right, work out and see a counselor. Endorphins are key to beat what you feel and exercise and nutrients are the ticket.



Like Sinclair said, you get to know when it's coming and that's when I put everything I have into either work,weight lifting and working on things in my shop. Been this way for years and pills , on me personally, really set me off. Still have hard times like everybody and sometimes let it get too far and the battle starts again. Wishing you the best, hoping you can find something that works for you.


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## fish hawk (Dec 12, 2017)

I have ptsd and my anxiety is always worse in the mornings.I start my day out by hitting the gym at 6:30 every morning and burning off that extreme energy ,when that dont help i have to take something.I take 1/2 of the lowest dose possible.


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## j_seph (Dec 12, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Mine are more Medical worries I guess. I found my cousin and best friend dead this past March. We were both burning our farms and it was 3 days after our birthdays had past. He had an underlying heart issue that was never caught. So I have to deal with that. His widow and kids and the rest of our family are always in my thoughts. I have my problems with everybody always pulling at me to do stuff, Work, Parents, friends, Girlfriend and so on. Everything compounds at times then I have crazy heart rhythms that I am told are from stress which cause even more anxiety. It just seems to be never ending. I have some meds that I can break in half and take one and I calm down. Or if im not at work I can have a few evening beers and i'm pretty good. Its just so frustrating feeling like this.


I will tell you something a guy at church shared with us. Each day we have issues that we need to deal with. We should do our best to take care of those issues today as tomorrow is not promised. If we do not then those issues pile on top of the next days issues. Now we have to determine how to deal with those daily issues and determine are they really an issue. Again from my Christian stand, this is where you need the church. Those others in the church can pray for you as well. It is our jobs as brothers and sisters in Christ to help carry others burdens. We need to give these burdens to the Lord in faith that they will be okay and he will provide for those others like your friends family.


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## work2play2 (Dec 12, 2017)

You aren't alone. I've seen over 150 dead people that died infront or right before I saw them. Sinclair, for the op can you elaborate on endorphins.

Also. For the record never found anything better then excersise. But I fall off the wagon. All the time


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## lagrangedave (Dec 12, 2017)

Routine, start everyday with the same ritual, bath, brush teeth, etc........coffee.........meds.........clothes laid out the night before........touch your points and move to the next one.................be slow to react....many people present you drama......this is usually their problem or weakness and not yours......it passes rather fast if you don't react.........be the boss of your life.....saying no is ok.........it's ok to get mad and blow people back......


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## lagrangedave (Dec 12, 2017)

Do it with a smile.........that freaks them out......


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## Dialer (Dec 12, 2017)

Not PTSD, but possibly anxiety. I struggle at work with people. I guess we all do, but seems these guys are idiots.  2 of them bully everyone else, 1 of them is a walking Wikipedia, another is a filthy mouthed weasel.  They all have a "clique" that I won't go into but I've learned to just sit here with my earbuds in and read GON forums!!!


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## buckrub (Dec 12, 2017)

j_seph said:


> I will tell you something a guy at church shared with us. Each day we have issues that we need to deal with. We should do our best to take care of those issues today as tomorrow is not promised. If we do not then those issues pile on top of the next days issues. Now we have to determine how to deal with those daily issues and determine are they really an issue. Again from my Christian stand, this is where you need the church. Those others in the church can pray for you as well. It is our jobs as brothers and sisters in Christ to help carry others burdens. We need to give these burdens to the Lord in faith that they will be okay and he will provide for those others like your friends family.




What J Seph said +1.  Everyone else's suggestions are spot on as well. Amazing what exercise can do to alter your state of mind. I know most people don't like taking mood altering medicines but there is absolutely a place for them if your willing to do some research on your own and finding a good doctor that will work with you to dial in the right dosage is key. If you don't listen to anything else I have to say, please don't turn to "a few beers" to help. As a depressant, alcohol will only make a bad situation worse and without fail, gets worse with time. 
I'm very fortunate in the fact that I've seen a lot of death and have somehow luckily dodged death more times than I wish to recall and have somehow managed to deal with the stress of it all. The only thing I can credit it to is my relationship with the lord and knowing he's always watching over me, has a plan for me, and allowed his only Son to suffer and die so that I could have everlasting life. I know that a lot of people say a prayer when they wake up in the morning or before they go to bed at night and so do I, but I talk to God all day everyday and sometimes find myself not listening or paying attention because of my conversations with Him. I don't go to church every Sunday or even most Sunday's for that matter, even though I know I should, but I know my relationship with God and as much as I love my life and family, when He calls, he need not call loud or more than once, and don't get between me and the gate or you stand a good chance of getting run over. 
I'm certainly no Saint, preacher or even consider myself a good Christian but I know without a shadow of doubt where I'm going when I leave here and I know I probably have some splaining to do when I get there, but that's where I'm going and it will truly be home. 
I used to worry like crazy about work, money, health, anything you can imagine to an unhealthy point that wore me down where I couldn't sleep and constantly had stomach issues and pain. Even though I've always considered myself a Christian, it wasn't until I witnessed my little girls birth that really put things into perspective and immensely strengthened my relationship with God. 
I hope that you are somehow able to find peace, be it medicine, therapy, excercise, prayer, or a combination of all. It sounds like you're already a step ahead by realizing there's a problem, seeking advise and assistance, and most importantly, talking about it. It's definitely nothing to be ashamed about and I'm convinced that almost everyone has been victim to a degree at some point in their lives or will if they live long enough. 
Once again, I sincerely wish you the best and will be praying for you.


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## swampstalker24 (Dec 13, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Mine are more Medical worries I guess. I found my cousin and best friend dead this past March. We were both burning our farms and it was 3 days after our birthdays had past. He had an underlying heart issue that was never caught. So I have to deal with that. His widow and kids and the rest of our family are always in my thoughts. I have my problems with everybody always pulling at me to do stuff, Work, Parents, friends, Girlfriend and so on. Everything compounds at times then I have crazy heart rhythms that I am told are from stress which cause even more anxiety. It just seems to be never ending. I have some meds that I can break in half and take one and I calm down. Or if im not at work I can have a few evening beers and i'm pretty good. Its just so frustrating feeling like this.




I've had my fair share of medical anxiety.  Even though I've been in good health all my life and no serious medical issues, I've swore I was dying on several occasions.   I wouldn't say I'm a hypochondriac because I'd always keep these feelings to myself and didnt want any attention, but the mind is a powerful thing and can play tricks on you.  For instance, past few months I've had slight pains in my jaw/neck area and a strange tingling sensation in my cheek.  I started googling symptoms (bad idea) and everything that pops up is cancer.... makes sense bc I dipped for about 15 years or so.   Anyways, I seemed to for some reason just dwell on the possibility for a while, instead of seeking medical attention.  I found myself accepting this un-diagnosed illness as if it were set in stone and the more I thought about it the more symptoms I had.    Told the GF about it and she insisted I at least go see the dentist as I have not been in about 6 years.  So I went and got a thorough oral exam, traditional x-ray, as well as the fancy whole head scan.  Verdict: 3 wisdom teeth, one of which was located on the side I'd had the symptoms and was impacted.  Everything else was perfect, no cavities or death inducing tumors.    In the days following, my almost chronic symptoms disappeared and I no longer felt as if I was dying.  Go figure.  I'm fairly certain that the initial symptoms of the impacted wisdom tooth were amplified by my worrying mind.  The mind is a powerful and mysterious thing.   


If this anxiety is serious and persistent and causing substantial quality of life issues, there are some "alternative" medicine that I've read about and seem very promising, especially for the PTSD.    

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/scienc...room-drug-shows-promise-patients-deep-anxiety


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## K80 (Dec 13, 2017)

I have PTSD from Grant getting cancer and passing.   I can't pick up one of my kids without feeling for a lump... 

I hit spells where stress builds to the point its hard to hit a lick and the good times I run wide open to make up for it.    

I just do my best to keep on keepin on.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 13, 2017)

Thanks for all the input folks. I had a bad attack yesterday after posting this but got thru it ok I guess. I'll figure it out and keep moving forward. Prayers and well wishes to you all!!


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## StriperrHunterr (Dec 13, 2017)

I came in here to offer advice, and the only effective advice I can give (after having typed out about 6 different replies and finding out how the rest of my "solutions" aren't really all that great) is to talk it out. Friends, family, and a counselor should the need be there. 

My other advice isn't harmful, only in that I'm missing out on stuff because I choose to avoid my triggers, or remove myself from situations where they're pushed on me. I mean, it kinda deals with the situation, but I am missing out on stuff so I don't know that it's really a good thing.


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## 1gr8bldr (Dec 13, 2017)

Omen, I suspect that your just overloaded. My wife is nothing short of wonderful. She is got to be the best wife ever. However, there has been times when she almost seemed as though she was in your place. Everytime it has been because she had more on her plate than she could deal with. Often is was self inflicted.... like trying to be there for her dad in a rest home, taking care of her mother, work being demanding, and then going all out for vacation bible school. No one could handle all that. You forgot to mention building your home. I suspect that you are just overloaded. I now try to watch out for anything that pushes my wife to overload. You should simplify in areas where you can, rest and  enjoy your new home. Pay attention to your threshold of what you can manage. And you may have to put your foot down and possibly disappoint some people, however it will make you a better you. And my wife glows radiant after exercise. There is much to be said about endorphines from exercise, yet I don't know technical stuff like that. You may think to yourself, I have heard all this before, however, it's bound to help to a degree. Best of luck. Thanks for sharing. I'm sure someone else has gotten encouragement from your sharing as well as an idea or 2 to try


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## 1gr8bldr (Dec 13, 2017)

One more thing.... are you sleeping well?  I recently had a client whom was making me hate my job. I would wake up thinking about it. Frustration, losing money, etc. But thank God that's behind me. It was bad for 3 months. However, I'm in a great place now, enjoying life. Point being not so much that we need good sleep, but your frustration thoughts that keep us awake are from the source of the problem


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## 1gr8bldr (Dec 13, 2017)

My wife speaks of "panic attacks". Does that term relate to you?


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## Artfuldodger (Dec 13, 2017)

K80 said:


> I have PTSD from Grant getting cancer and passing.   I can't pick up one of my kids without feeling for a lump...
> 
> I hit spells where stress builds to the point its hard to hit a lick and the good times I run wide open to make up for it.
> 
> I just do my best to keep on keepin on.



Knowing your story I can understand. Makes me feel guilty for anything I have experienced. Anyway I experience a reoccurring  PTSD episode from a past tramatic event. It wasn't that tramatic compared to the death of a child but it creeps back in from time to time usually at bedtime. I relive it over in my mind. It seems unreal. Strange and eery. Like it really didn't happen but it did.
It does get better with time. Usually stress from other events brings on the reminder of this event. I really never talk about it to anyone. I'm sure I should but it's so rare anymore I just deal with it.

I rarely think about bad things except at bedtime. I'm a light sleeper by nature. So when I go to bed I think about the afterlife, recently passed relatives, my Dad's car accident, other car accidents I recently witnessed, personal medical problems, financial topics, work related problems, etc.
Come morning, I'm fine. Jolly, happy go lucky.


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## John Cooper (Dec 13, 2017)

I have PTSD I had a serious wreck in 98 the passenger/close friend riding with me died and I lived. Then in 2001 my oldest son was taken from us in a car accident. I wake up every day wondering why I was spared and they were taken. I had a severe head trauma in my wreck and have severe anger issues because of it. I battle anger every day and have to work hard not to blow up on folks at work. Most of my friends will tell you I am not the same person I was before my wreck. It is a daily struggle.


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## Artfuldodger (Dec 13, 2017)

rayjay said:


> I'm 26 months out from a cancer diagnosis, a massively invasive surgery , 6 months of chemo, etc etc. Just had a CT scan with contrasts today.
> 
> You can be sure that dealing with PTSD was part of my recovery. There is a FB page for peeps that had the surgery I had and that has really been a godsend for me and all the other 8000 members. Everyone of us suffers to some degree or other from PTSD. There's also some survivors guilt in the mix.
> 
> ...



I'm sure the "why me" and/or "survivors guilt" is part of it. You mention not dwelling on the past as obviously it can't be changed. Isn't that what PTSD is all about though? You have this tramatic event in your past that keeps haunting you but you can't quite get it out of your mind.  
It's like the Serenity Prayer. Sounds good in theory but hard to make your mind understand.


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## Mako22 (Dec 14, 2017)

I'm really not trying to be rude here but a lot of what was posted sounded more like anxiety and stress to me rather than PTSD. Not all of it but much of it. I know that those two come along as a result of PTSD but you can have them without having PTSD. PTSD is not curable but thru proper education one can learn to recognize triggers and attempt to manage them. Prayer can be helpful but recognizing what PTSD is, how it affects you and knowing whats its triggers are (for you individually) is a great tool as well.


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## rayjay (Dec 14, 2017)

Artfuldodger said:


> I'm sure the "why me" and/or "survivors guilt" is part of it. You mention not dwelling on the past as obviously it can't be changed. Isn't that what PTSD is all about though? You have this tramatic event in your past that keeps haunting you but you can't quite get it out of your mind.
> It's like the Serenity Prayer. Sounds good in theory but hard to make your mind understand.



Here is how I describe to  people how I deal with things I can't control. I put it in a box and put the box in a far corner of my brain and I don't think about what's in the box anymore. I know where the box is but what's in it can't be changed in any way shape or form so just leave it in the box and think about something else. Keep busy. Always have a project you are thinking about or working on.

Good luck !!


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## j_seph (Dec 14, 2017)

rayjay said:


> Here is how I describe to  people how I deal with things I can't control. I put it in a box and put the box in a far corner of my brain and I don't think about what's in the box anymore. I know where the box is but what's in it can't be changed in any way shape or form so just leave it in the box and think about something else. Keep busy. Always have a project you are thinking about or working on.
> 
> Good luck !!


No offense in anyway is meant, but that corner can get filled up then you have to expand for more boxes. Don't let too many boxes get stored away if they can be thrown away. It could consume you, prayers you can take some of those boxes and have a spring cleaning. Maybe throw em in the lake to be used for fish structure.

Crazy as it may sound, when my late wife and I were fighting her brain tumor we went to a short yoga session. They made the room silent, had some lite music playing. We closed our eye. We had to vision sitting on a stream, creek, river bank with a canoe beside us. We then were told to visualize every worry, problem we had and place it in that canoe. Once we had em all in there to visualize pushing that canoe out into the creek and watch it as it went downstream out of sight. I never flew before and was scared to death as we went over the pacific ocean and the turbulence was unreal. This got me through that flight.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 14, 2017)

1gr8bldr said:


> My wife speaks of "panic attacks". Does that term relate to you?



Yes, and I am Sleeping just fine. Rarely I will have trouble falling asleep (settling down). I sleep usually a solid 8 hours. I am thoroughly enjoying my new home. My back porch is where I find a lot of peace.  

Woodsman, My NP feels I have PTSD due to the events with my 1st cousins death and me finding him. I do have guilt about it. I don't know why I do but I do. Normally we would have been together doing what we were but we weren't. I realize I couldn't have saved him nor could have anyone else. But it's just an event that haunts me. Medically I have been checked out and am told I am fine. However most days I feel like crap and don't know why. I eat well and am a very active physically. I don't "work out" but am probably as physically fit as any 43 yr old that goes to the gym daily. I ran into my Family Physician yesterday. We talked and he wants me to come see him. So we will see what happens. He's a personal friend and knows I am not myself lately and said we will find a solution to the issue. Thanks for everyone's input. I have read them all multiple times. 

Prayers for all of you, If anyone ever needs to talk PM me i'll give ya my number. 

Merry Christmas!!!


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## j_seph (Dec 14, 2017)

OmenHonkey, could you be dealing with depression and not PTSD


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## 1gr8bldr (Dec 14, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Yes, and I am Sleeping just fine. Rarely I will have trouble falling asleep (settling down). I sleep usually a solid 8 hours. I am thoroughly enjoying my new home. My back porch is where I find a lot of peace.
> 
> Woodsman, My NP feels I have PTSD due to the events with my 1st cousins death and me finding him. I do have guilt about it. I don't know why I do but I do. Normally we would have been together doing what we were but we weren't. I realize I couldn't have saved him nor could have anyone else. But it's just an event that haunts me. Medically I have been checked out and am told I am fine. However most days I feel like crap and don't know why. I eat well and am a very active physically. I don't "work out" but am probably as physically fit as any 43 yr old that goes to the gym daily. I ran into my Family Physician yesterday. We talked and he wants me to come see him. So we will see what happens. He's a personal friend and knows I am not myself lately and said we will find a solution to the issue. Thanks for everyone's input. I have read them all multiple times.
> 
> ...


With all that said..... sounds to me like your still  grieving his loss, still in that process. It takes some longer than others


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 14, 2017)

j_seph said:


> OmenHonkey, could you be dealing with depression and not PTSD



No, Not depression. I am still a very happy and attentive person. I think maybe Greatbuilder may have said it all. I think I am still grieving and missing one of my closest friends and family members that I had. And the traumatic events with finding him are still with me. I can have a tendency to hold in my emotions to support others at times. Maybe subconsciously I repressed it all to complete my house, and help hold up family members emotionally instead of grieving myself. I dunno. I do know we were always closest and in constant contact during deer season. Whether it be hunting related or farming related. We both have pecan orchards and such that we communicated about daily. I handled his this year without him. I've lost enough close family and friends in the past but never have I reacted the way I have with this.  This is all new to me and for those of you that deal with this regularly, my heart goes out to you. I told myself this morning that "TODAY WAS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY". It has been and I even got a call from his wife and we talked awhile. I told her I wanted us to sit down and talk sometime. Maybe it will help us both in some way.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 14, 2017)

1gr8bldr said:


> With all that said..... sounds to me like your still  grieving his loss, still in that process. It takes some longer than others



Another great friend told me tuesday night. " Go back to where you found him and talk to him" Face it head on and deal with the situation. I have avoided that farm something fierce. He said take and axe and take it out on a tree. Get it out of your system and be done with it.


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## 1gr8bldr (Dec 14, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Another great friend told me tuesday night. " Go back to where you found him and talk to him" Face it head on and deal with the situation. I have avoided that farm something fierce. He said take and axe and take it out on a tree. Get it out of your system and be done with it.


My mom was in an accident, hit a tree and got paralyzed when I was about 20. I purposely went out of my way to take another route for many years. Eventually, I found myself passing by and noticed the tree had been cut down. I was almost glad to see it as if it had been responsible. I went around because I could not deal with it.  It's clear now to me that your grieving and have a huge void due to your loss. At some point, you might consider, when your ready, dealing with it head on. I would suggest a  different mindset, try not to grieve but to celebrate the relationship you had. His talents, his friendship, comradery, etc. It will be sad and yet refreshing. And his family may benefit as well. You might consider talking with them, and lean on each other a bit. However, don't rush it, or force it. I hesitate to say this, because I don't want to cause pain..... but, I'm sure he would appreciate you finding him.


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## oldfella1962 (Dec 14, 2017)

rayjay said:


> Here is how I describe to  people how I deal with things I can't control. I put it in a box and put the box in a far corner of my brain and I don't think about what's in the box anymore. I know where the box is but what's in it can't be changed in any way shape or form so just leave it in the box and think about something else. Keep busy. Always have a project you are thinking about or working on.
> 
> Good luck !!



I keep busy with a project I'm working on - I'm building a box to keep the things I can't control.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 14, 2017)

oldfella1962 said:


> I keep busy with a project I'm working on - I'm building a box to keep the things I can't control.



That box is gonna fill up though. I'm pretty good at holding stuff for awhile but then I gotta get it out and off my chest. For some reason though this just ain't ready to leave me yet.


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## NUTT (Dec 14, 2017)

All,
I will be lifting you up in prayer and asking God to deliver you from these issues that are robbing you of the Joy and Peace you should be enjoying daily. I've had some of the experiences some of you have described but now enjoy a much less stressful life. For each of you that posted in this thread thank you for being bold enough to bring it out. Someone will be helped from this action and you might not ever know it. God Bless yall!


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 14, 2017)

NUTT said:


> All,
> I will be lifting you up in prayer and asking God to deliver you from these issues that are robbing you of the Joy and Peace you should be enjoying daily. I've had some of the experiences some of you have described but now enjoy a much less stressful life. For each of you that posted in this thread thank you for being bold enough to bring it out. Someone will be helped from this action and you might not ever know it. God Bless yall!



Thanks, Nutt. I will be doing the same and I agree with it helping someone. I honestly think talking about it on here has been beneficial to me. Can't thank you all enough!!


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## Milkman (Dec 14, 2017)

You and he were very close obviously. You may feel that you will get over the loss as you do with the death of an aquaintance or distant relationship. 

This is not the case with a very close loss. You will adjust to the loss but never get over it. But that is the way it is when you lose someone you truly love.


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## j_seph (Dec 14, 2017)

What about going out to that farm and planting a tree in honor for your buddy? That changes to a positive and a reason to go there to help that tree get going. I heard preacher tonight saying something to the effect that not to worry about your fruits but to worry about your roots. Long as ya take care of the roots you will get the fruit. Not sure how old his kids are but there's something for them as they get older and maybe even a swing site for your buddies grandkids one day.


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## NugeForPres (Dec 15, 2017)

I am glad this is being discussed so openly, as I have faced similar issues-anxiety wise. I blame mine on shift work, and my lack of consistent sleep but there may be more to it.  Prayer helps me too.  Sometimes all I can do is just grin and bear it.  I know that probably doesn't help answer your questions, OP but just know you are not alone.


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## sinclair1 (Dec 15, 2017)

Dialer said:


> I have no idea what my disorder is called, but I can share the symptoms that I have to deal with on a daily basis. The biggest issue or symptom is anger.  It eats at me a little more every day it seems like. It seems to manifest and spread to every task I undertake on a daily basis. I have struggled with this since childhood and feel it may be a hereditary trait.  My father had anger issues and took it out on me and my brothers using a belt, as I remember the sheer anger on his face and gritting his teeth as he brought blood to my legs often. I loved my Dad, and miss him dearly and appreciate him and the way he raised us, but that’s the only thing I can think of that it comes from.
> I think maybe sleep and quality of rest has a lot to do with it also. It’s past ridiculous, but found prayer helps.  Driving home from work, I have flashes of anger simply because another car is either in my way, or coming at me “interfering” with my life. Traffic signals, stop signs, even being asked a question by my wife, or while I’m in the middle of doing something in the garage sparks flashes of anger.  Inconsideration, gloating, foul language, are all sources of anger flashes.
> Is this normal for everyone? Does everyone have to deal with anger flashes and having to struggle to endure everyday simple tasks?  I do control it pretty well, but it wears me out mentally... On Selexa, maybe I’ll up my dosage of that and prayer....


Sounds kinda bipolar. What does the doctor prescribe Selexa for?

Years ago I was prescribed cymbalta and took it for a month only to find out I was low T. Low T was causing symptoms people are discribing on here.

I was scared of the low T meds so I fixed it with diet and exercise.


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## lbzdually (Dec 15, 2017)

My uncle passed away back in December of 2008.  He was diagnosed with liver cancer on Election day 2008, so he lasted about a month.  He was my main hunting buddy, as my dad is in really bad health from RA.  I've not hunted much at all since then.  I still wake up in tears every so often because I will be having a dream of us hunting, then the dream will end as I realize it's not real. 

My sister passed away Easter Sunday in 2015.  She died in her sleep at age 38.  I still have nights where I can't sleep because I'm thinking I hope I don't die in my sleep at age 39.  Last Saturday, my blood pressure shot up to 162/120 and I kept thinking that my parents are going to lose all 3 of their children and I think that just compounded the situation.


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## mark-7mag (Dec 15, 2017)

I probably don’t have the credentials to post about this because even though I’ve expeienced some of what you guys have ,it may not be to the same extent. 
All I can say is that 1st of all my faith has helped me through a lot of the issues I have that are similar to yours.  I will also say that even though things happen in your life it doesn’t mean that you are at fault. As stated by a couple of people already, you 1st need to take control of your life. One way to do so is by taking control of your daily routine as much as you can. Surround yourself with people that are positive and are successful in things that you want to be the same at. Don’t be afraid to ask for help even if it’s here as there are a lot of good folks in this forum.


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## JohnK (Dec 17, 2017)

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org


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## dslc6487 (Dec 17, 2017)

I have PTSD from service in Vietnam.  I was in the infantry and spent my time in the jungles and rice paddies. Lost several friends that were closer than any brother right in front of me or next to me.  Either by death or very serious injury where they had to be medivaced from the field.  Also, took a lot of life, and, that is the most precious gift that God gives to man. Was in Vietnam 1968-1969 time frame.  Wounded 3 times but not serious enough to get me out of the field.  Finally was able to get out of Vietnam.  They put us on a plane and dropped us back in our hometown about 3 days later.  I was scared of everything and everybody.  The VA did Nothing to help us back then.  Started to have some real problems around 2001 and did not know what problem was.  I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe and chronic.  Went to in house VA program for 3 weeks, had counseling and tried several different medications to try and help.  Also spent one week in private psychiatric unit.  Took me about a year of counseling and different medications to finally help me get some relief.  I also have a great wife that helped me tremendously.  Wonder she did not leave me, but by the Grace of God, she stayed.  Had she not stayed, no doubt that I would now be dead.  Still see a counselor at the VA once a month and am on about 3 medications that help tremendously.  Also have 5 grandsons that I am very proud of and I spend a lot of time with them.

DO NOT just sit around and do nothing.  If you think you have an anxiety, depression, or PTSD problem, please seek help.  I am now happier than I have been in my whole life and I attribute it to:

My faith in God, my wonderful wife, staying busy especially with those that I love and care about, and some medications.
I still have bad days occasionally and it is usually around holidays.  Christmas is not a great time for me because I know that I have several friends that died in service to their country and they are not with their families and I was lucky enough to make it back home and now I can spend time with my family.  I also think a lot about the lives that I took, and they are not with their family, even though they were the enemy, I still think of them.  

Kind of longwinded, but that has been my experience with PTSD.  I will carry it to my grave, but you can control it and not let it control you.  Take care and I hope for you the best

Decorated, disabled, combat Veteran of Vietnam


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 18, 2017)

dslc6487 said:


> I have PTSD from service in Vietnam.  I was in the infantry and spent my time in the jungles and rice paddies. Lost several friends that were closer than any brother right in front of me or next to me.  Either by death or very serious injury where they had to be medivaced from the field.  Also, took a lot of life, and, that is the most precious gift that God gives to man. Was in Vietnam 1968-1969 time frame.  Wounded 3 times but not serious enough to get me out of the field.  Finally was able to get out of Vietnam.  They put us on a plane and dropped us back in our hometown about 3 days later.  I was scared of everything and everybody.  The VA did Nothing to help us back then.  Started to have some real problems around 2001 and did not know what problem was.  I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe and chronic.  Went to in house VA program for 3 weeks, had counseling and tried several different medications to try and help.  Also spent one week in private psychiatric unit.  Took me about a year of counseling and different medications to finally help me get some relief.  I also have a great wife that helped me tremendously.  Wonder she did not leave me, but by the Grace of God, she stayed.  Had she not stayed, no doubt that I would now be dead.  Still see a counselor at the VA once a month and am on about 3 medications that help tremendously.  Also have 5 grandsons that I am very proud of and I spend a lot of time with them.
> 
> DO NOT just sit around and do nothing.  If you think you have an anxiety, depression, or PTSD problem, please seek help.  I am now happier than I have been in my whole life and I attribute it to:
> 
> ...





Thank you for your words of wisdom, And a heartfelt Thank You for your service sir!!!


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## Mexican Squealer (Dec 18, 2017)

folks would be surprised how many of these issues are due to undiagnosed obstructive sleep apnea.


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## mattech (Dec 18, 2017)

Dang Honkey, I hate I'm just seeing this. If you need to talk you got my number. 

As for ptsd, asuch as I hate to use that term, I just can't think of anything better, but I'm sure you are familiar with my horrible flying experience several years ago, I ahvent been able to fly sober since. My last few flights I go to the Dr. And he gives me a few Xanax. It helps a little but I about have to OD with them on the flight, and even then, every time the plane shakes I start freaking out, to the point it's embarrassing. When I know I'm going to fly I have nightmares of flying and wake up freaking out.  I don't think I'll ever get over that. 

As for anxiety, I cannot handle large groups of people and freak out, I'm not sure if you noticed while on our fishing trip, but in crowds I get very quiet and try to disappear.  We go to a large church now and I have to wear ear plugs during the music, or I freak and I feel like I can't breathe. I also have a horrible time falling asleep at night, I don't know why, but every time I start to pass out I quickly wake up think if I go to sleep I'll never wake back up. I don't know what started that, but it's been going on about 10 years now. I've debating getting a prescription for my moments for several reasons, but I'm out of ideas. I'm not sure if my rambling has helped, but again, if you need anything your always welcome to call me.


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## lbzdually (Dec 18, 2017)

mattech said:


> As for anxiety, I cannot handle large groups of people and freak out, I'm not sure if you noticed while on our fishing trip, but in crowds I get very quiet and try to disappear.  We go to a large church now and I have to wear ear plugs during the music, or I freak and I feel like I can't breathe. I also have a horrible time falling asleep at night, I don't know why, but every time I start to pass out I quickly wake up think if I go to sleep I'll never wake back up. I don't know what started that, but it's been going on about 10 years now. I've debating getting a prescription for my moments for several reasons, but I'm out of ideas. I'm not sure if my rambling has helped, but again, if you need anything your always welcome to call me.



You sound a lot like me.  I don't like large groups, I get embarrassed easily and my face turns red, start to stutter, etc.  When we have family get togethers, I am on or off.  either I'm the life of the party, or I would just as soon lay down in the bed until everyone is gone.  As far as sleeping goes, I'm always the last person to go to sleep in my house no matter how tired I am.  part of it has to do with my sister, as she just fell asleep face down and smothered because of some meds she was taking.  I wake up gasping for air at times, thinking I am not going to get air.  Some of it is justified, as my wife says I have sleep apnea, especially on my back.  I'm 5'11" 185lbs, so I'm not a big guy.  At 39, I'm falling apart it seems.


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## mattech (Dec 19, 2017)

lbzdually said:


> You sound a lot like me.  I don't like large groups, I get embarrassed easily and my face turns red, start to stutter, etc.  When we have family get togethers, I am on or off.  either I'm the life of the party, or I would just as soon lay down in the bed until everyone is gone.  As far as sleeping goes, I'm always the last person to go to sleep in my house no matter how tired I am.  part of it has to do with my sister, as she just fell asleep face down and smothered because of some meds she was taking.  I wake up gasping for air at times, thinking I am not going to get air.  Some of it is justified, as my wife says I have sleep apnea, especially on my back.  I'm 5'11" 185lbs, so I'm not a big guy.  At 39, I'm falling apart it seems.




Sounds like we are alot alike. If I'm in a social mood I can have a whole room full of people crying laughing, especially if I have had a few drinks to relax, but if I'm not feeling social I hide in corners and empty rooms. My wife gets angry and thinks I'm.being mean, I'm not upset or in a bad mood, just not in a social mood.


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## mark-7mag (Dec 19, 2017)

mattech said:


> Sounds like we are alot alike. If I'm in a social mood I can have a whole room full of people crying laughing, especially if I have had a few drinks to relax, but if I'm not feeling social I hide in corners and empty rooms. My wife gets angry and thinks I'm.being mean, I'm not upset or in a bad mood, just not in a social mood.



That describes me and my wife to a T. My wife can talk to anyone or any group of people for any amount of time as long as they'll talk back. I can can only do if for a short amount of time. I hate small talk and I hate pretending like I have interest in what people are talking about.


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 19, 2017)

Thanks, Matt, Mark and Dually. I have never had an issue with any of this until this summer. Still trying to figure this out. I am a very social person. And have been my whole life but lately not so much. I think my issue is the "Impending Doom" Much like Dually and Matt explained about falling asleep. I have had that at times but rarely. If any of ya'll ever need to talk PM me or Call me. I'll tell ya all about my mess. I don't mind one bit.


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## lbzdually (Dec 19, 2017)

OmenHonkey said:


> Thanks, Matt, Mark and Dually. I have never had an issue with any of this until this summer. Still trying to figure this out. I am a very social person. And have been my whole life but lately not so much. I think my issue is the "Impending Doom" Much like Dually and Matt explained about falling asleep. I have had that at times but rarely. If any of ya'll ever need to talk PM me or Call me. I'll tell ya all about my mess. I don't mind one bit.



Do you what you feel like would be my biggest piece of advice.  On my bad days, I will 'visit' with people every once in a while when having a get together.  Walk around, be seen, then move on and go back into hiding.  What I love about GON, is that no matter what is wrong, you will find a few people who have went/are going through it.


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## Mexican Squealer (Dec 19, 2017)

Sleep apnea plays a huge roll in all of this...fwiw


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## KyDawg (Dec 19, 2017)

Omen, You are on my prayer list, and I do hope you work through this thing. I have had panic attacks to the point of not being able to speak clearly. They don't last long and it takes a jolt now to kick them in. The last bad I had was the night 10 years ago, before I went in for Colon cancer surgery. I used to have them at work, before speaking to a large crowd. I have put most of this behind, but have a small idea what you are going through. I had anger build up and it was with people for many different reasons. One thing that has helped me, is going out of my way to find good in every person I meet, and to quit worrying about things I have no control of. Good Luck my friend.


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## Artfuldodger (Dec 19, 2017)

It's strange how people view mental illness compared to physical illness. Like somehow physical problems are expected but mental ones are somehow different. Insurance companies view it differently as to what they will pay. Future employers see it as a risk factor over physical health problems.
I will say that one's physical wellness has a lot to do with their mental wellness. 
I think the public's outlook on mental illness is changing. When it hits home it kinda brings a reality to it. Even anxiety or mild depression can change one's perspective on one's outlook. 

In the past we just though one should get over these things on their own. We heard things like "WWII soldiers got over what they saw and did. Why can't the Middle East conflict soldiers do the same?"


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## OmenHonkey (Dec 20, 2017)

KyDawg said:


> Omen, You are on my prayer list, and I do hope you work through this thing. I have had panic attacks to the point of not being able to speak clearly. They don't last long and it takes a jolt now to kick them in. The last bad I had was the night 10 years ago, before I went in for Colon cancer surgery. I used to have them at work, before speaking to a large crowd. I have put most of this behind, but have a small idea what you are going through. I had anger build up and it was with people for many different reasons. One thing that has helped me, is going out of my way to find good in every person I meet, and to quit worrying about things I have no control of. Good Luck my friend.





Thanks BO$$ !!!


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## NugeForPres (Jan 29, 2018)

Bumping this one for you, Honkey.  How are you getting along?


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## OmenHonkey (Jan 30, 2018)

NugeForPres said:


> Bumping this one for you, Honkey.  How are you getting along?



Pretty good actually. Work is still stressful and the other things still loom about but I am sorting things out in my head my own way I guess. I really appreciate you checking in on me!! I hope all of you that have commented and are dealing with life issues are all doing well. 

I have a great friend that is a Nurse Practioner. We have talked in length about this and suffer some of the same issues. I guess ours is "Impending Doom" Since finding my cousin/best friend I have found while doing strenuous tasks, I will think about him and wonder if this is how somebody is gonna find me dead. I feel like most of that will pass in time. I just put my faith in the good lord and try to keep moving forward. 

Mine and my deceased cousins Birthdays are coming up in March. That's when he died and i'm not looking forward to that day at all. I'm sure i'll muscle through it tho.  Thanks again..


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## Keebs (Feb 1, 2018)

OmenHonkey said:


> Pretty good actually. Work is still stressful and the other things still loom about but I am sorting things out in my head my own way I guess. I really appreciate you checking in on me!! I hope all of you that have commented and are dealing with life issues are all doing well.
> 
> I have a great friend that is a Nurse Practioner. We have talked in length about this and suffer some of the same issues. I guess ours is "Impending Doom" Since finding my cousin/best friend I have found while doing strenuous tasks, I will think about him and wonder if this is how somebody is gonna find me dead. I feel like most of that will pass in time. I just put my faith in the good lord and try to keep moving forward.
> 
> Mine and my deceased cousins Birthdays are coming up in March. That's when he died and i'm not looking forward to that day at all. I'm sure i'll muscle through it tho.  Thanks again..


I am so sorry I am just now seeing this and I knew your cousin well too, hit me like a ton of bricks, but I did not know you were the one to find him! He was my *buddy* for sure as I'm sure he was to many.  I don't really have any advice, I too have anxiety issue's, but nothing like most of the posts on here, just take one day at a time, quit focusing on the date to come, it'll get here whether you dwell on it or not and I agree with what someone else posted about celebrating his life, I know he would NOT like what you are going through and would do anything to change it, as I know you know.  If ya need me, you know how to get in touch, I wouldn't mind it one bit.


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## OmenHonkey (Feb 2, 2018)

Thanks Keebs!!!


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## Throwback (Aug 13, 2020)

Pretty sure that’s part of my sleep and anxiety issue if not all of it. Apparently the answer to how many children can you find dead before you can’t keep it sealed up in your mind anymore is a couple dozen for me.

When it’s real bad dead people come sit on my bed and watch me sleep. Ambien for the win!!


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