Got Any SUV Parts?

In case y’all ain’t noticed, hunting seasons is HERE!

(‘Scuse me; I get a little carried away after bouncing off walls throughout August awaiting the dipping and darting birds of September. And October? I’ll have to swaller my heart medication if thoughts of horns make their way into my noggin.)

When you’ve spent a summer (bah, humbug!) stocking up on any and everything you MIGHT need should you get lost hunting on t’other side the crick and be unable to find home for two years, you run out of paraphernalia to procure or spots to stack it. But I had a whole week left before dove season and was nauseated with patching sheetrock; there’s just GOT to be something I need.

Hmmm… how ‘bout one of them Hybrid SUVs I’ve been hearing about?

Oh yeah, I got a truck. But it ain’t neither no hybrid nor none of them Sporty Utilitarian Vehicles. Let’s just go see what we can find…

For starters, be advised that I simply adore used car salesmen.

Just as much as you do.

But after my third car lot and second arrest, it became clear I was going to have to come up with this thing on my own. So, just what is it that makes for a really sumptuous SUV?

HYBRID! That’s it!

And I got a whole week to conglomerate one!

OK, let’s back up a tad. My first trips to a dove field came mostly in a battered 1961 Rambler station wagon, belonging to Daddy’s best friend, William Register. It was an SUV before there was an SUV.

You know how these new-fangled vehicles have seats that fold down to create space? The Rambler’s space was created when William unbolted the two rows of back seats and threw them out in the yard.

That left a roomy, perfectly dry storage area. Except when we loaded the bird dogs and slobber went to flying with all four windows down. (What? Air conditioning? In 1961???)

Loading, entering and exiting the vehicle was never a problem since the chassis rested approximately one inch above the ground. Before loading. My tailbone still aches from those old dirt roads…

There probably ain’t enough rust left of that rattletrap Rambler to fill up a snuff can, but ohhhhh, the memories…

However, I don’t need the whole thing; just got to run down the wagon portion. That’s where I perched while attempting to stave off heat stroke, not to mention  leapfrogging vertebrae. Ain’t got a ‘61 Rambler in your back pasture, is you? If so, let me know and we’ll check Part One off the list.

Part Two is Ol’ Blue, and we can fast-forward 25 years. It’s for sure and certain that not a single one of you ever envisioned a Rambler wagon as a hunting vehicle. And I have to admit that it had a slight problem getting stuck a time or two (hundred) any time three or more blades of dew-covered grass hung out together. But between me, Daddy, William and his son and my pal Jerry, we could simply flip it over sideways until it rested on rubber again, then carry on. What dents?

But Ol’ Blue? Try flipping an ‘86 Bronco and you’ll learn all about them vertebrae. On the plus side, it never even heard the term “bogged down.” If you could hook a chain to a boggy bottom, that Bronc would drag it to the top of a hill!

Assuming there was a petrol pump en route.

My bad; there would never have been a gas shortage had I not bought that Bronco. It got, at best, about 8 miles per gallon. Sitting in the yard. With the battery cables unhooked.

But man, that thing took me there and back to places I never had business going—which is a whole ‘nother story. Problem was, sons came along and I could afford either them or driving Ol’ Blue. But I loved that Bronc; nearly as much as…

… My ‘72.

Part Three is a 1972 Ford Sport Custom pickup—the best-looking truck body of all time, in my opinion. Not that I want the body for my new Hybrid SUV. Naw, I just need what was under the hood.

This little gem came from the factory with a 360 cubic inch engine—which makes a great boat anchor.

Not sure if crack was around in ‘72, but that’s the only reason I can figure for some engineer to take the superb FE block 352 and add eight worthless CI to it. Fortunately, someone in his right mind came along and engineered that FE into the lightning-bolt 390 and then the best of them all—the 428 CJ.

Which almost made my 72 into a jet late one night on lonesome Highway 117 before I had sense enough to let off the gas! That also is another story for another column on another day.

I built that truck from the ground up, and if there’s but one that I could have back, this is it. The Bronc may have left me broke, but mainly because of my lead foot. My 72 was apt to leave both of us in the top of a tree somewhere…

But that foot has lost at least a little weight now, and what I’m thinking is a sho-nuff Hybrid featuring the Bronco body and chassis—extended backward so’s I can tack on the Rambler wagon, sans seats—powered by a 428 CJ with just a TAD more than 500 HP. What a concept!

Sure, I may have to stack filled gas cans in the Rambler, but it’s gotta be better than Ol’ Blue.

Quicker, too.

Not to mention unique. Should I come swooping—hopefully not literally— past, you’ll know it! Check back along about January; I got parts to find…

Order your copy of Daryl Gay’s books, “Rabbit Stompin’ And Other Homegrown Safari Tactics,” $19.95 plus $3 S&H and “Life On the Back Page,” $14.95 plus $3 S&H from www.darylgay.com or 16 Press, 219 Brookwood Drive, Dublin, GA, 31021.